Customer Reviews


49 Reviews
5 star:
 (40)
4 star:
 (4)
3 star:
 (3)
2 star:
 (2)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
Share your thoughts with other customers
Create your own review
 
 

The most helpful favourable review
The most helpful critical review


61 of 62 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read for anyone, not just women.
If you're wondering why you're going round in circles, repeating the same mistakes in close relationships with men and women, family and friends, then this book will help you find the reasons. It explains, with real-life examples, some of the ways in which we all end up hanging onto old ways of dealing with and responding to loved ones, even though we know these old ways...
Published on 2 Jan 2002

versus
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars I posted a review on receipt date and overall condition ...
I posted a review on receipt date and overall condition before I examined it carefully. I ordered this book to give to someone and when I leafed through it I find that at least one or two pages are loose and one (pages 83 and 84) are stapled into the book binding and are unreadable. This copy is therefore not fit for purpose and I will return it to the supplier for...
Published 1 month ago by Mary Elizabeth Buckwell


‹ Previous | 1 25 | Next ›
Most Helpful First | Newest First

61 of 62 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read for anyone, not just women., 2 Jan 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
If you're wondering why you're going round in circles, repeating the same mistakes in close relationships with men and women, family and friends, then this book will help you find the reasons. It explains, with real-life examples, some of the ways in which we all end up hanging onto old ways of dealing with and responding to loved ones, even though we know these old ways do not work, or make us happy.
I borrowed this from my local library, on the advice of my Relate counsellor, and enjoyed it so much that I'm buying it for reference.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Works like magic!, 1 Jun 2009
Unlike some other self-help books this one treats anger as a tool of self-development and an opportunity to learn more about yourself. It does not teach you to control your anger, quite the opposite, it says that one has a right to feel the emotions that one experiences without feeling guilty about it. It teaches that you cannot control the others or their feelings and opinions. This is the first very helpful lesson I learnt. Trying controlling others is what often makes you even angrier. According to the author, your anger is your own problem, and you simply cannot rely on others to sort it out for you. If you are unhappy with someone, it is your responsibilty to make a decision (ranging from "I can live with it" or "This is unacceptable - this will have to change"), think of acceptable changes and folow the through. She sees all relationship as "dances", where if you want to change your usual "steps" and break the circle, you will have to realise that it will inevitably affect your partner, which might result in him/her also changing their "steps". She does warn also that it may result in them stopping the "dance" altogether - i.e. stopping the relationship. This book will help you to gain insight into what YOU really want.

Another good advice is never make important decisions or argue your case when you are hurt or angry. At this moment you are very vulnerable and confused and probably will not be able to communicate your feelings to others.

Wonderful book - worked like magic with my partner! Everyone should read it - it is not just for women! Full of examples, which when you read, you go "OMG, this is SO about me!".

Please, please, please - read this book! It's very insightful and (mostly) positive!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Dance of Anger, 11 Mar 2010
By 
Mrs (Cheshire, UK) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
I read this book at a time when I seemed to be losing my temper constantly with those who I love the most. Something had to be done. I bought this book under the impression it would teach me to control my temper. It doesn't. What it does teach is where the anger comes from, how and why relationships settle into repetitive patterns (how many couples fight over the same thing over and over again?) and most importantly how to direct your anger into something far more positive. The lesson that the only person you can change is yourself is obvious and yet one I had never fully understood until I read this book.
It is emotionally demanding to read, especially when I recognised some less than attractive traits in myself. There are no magic "how to's" and no guarantees other than it takes time, energy and patience. However I understand myself and my partner so much better now. We argue less destructively, far less frequently and I feel more empowered than I have done in a long time. I would recommend this book to everyone.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars mind blowing, 3 July 2009
By 
The Dance of Anger was a revelation within the first few pages I recognised myself-some of it I found difficult to accept but it spoke the truth- it was a real eye opener.I learnt so much from it about myself and more importantly ways to resolve years of unresolved issues-Instead of trying to change those close to us its time to accept what we cant change and change how we approach things.I would recommend it wholeheartedly Jean Derby England
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


36 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone can learn somerthing from this book, 2 April 2001
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
This book is really great.. it provides a whole new way of looking at your problems. We all have problems getting on with someone or other and this book helps you use that problem to teach you how to start behaving in a new way which will redefine the relationship. It is also helpful to make you realise how you might be contributing to other people's problems with getting along with you. The core of it is to respect your needs. It's not about compromising in order to smooth a relationship. Easy to read and although aimed at women it is useful for everyone. Even if you're not that angry it goes beyond using anger and can be genrealised into using many types of emotional reactions in clarifying your real feelings. A good investment.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


42 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A 'how to' book to all want to change the way they react., 3 Nov 2000
By 
L. Nielsen "velvet39" (Denmark, (ex pat from England)) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
This book explains how to say things in a very different way, a way that turns a power struggle into something very much more positive. Although it is written by a woman with women in mind, I feel that men would gain a lot by reading it. If one follows her advice, and maybe 'rehearses' the phrases she recommends, then a difficult relationship - with no matter who - can be changed. Not of course necessarily perfected, but it would certainly stop the distructive way in which a relationship can develop. It also helps one realise the negative way in which our anger can destroy not only relationships, but ourselves. Do buy this book.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent read for anyone, not just women., 2 Jan 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
If you're wondering why you're going round in circles, repeating the same mistakes in close relationships with men and women, family and friends, then this book will help you find the reasons. It explains, with real-life examples, some of the ways in which we all end up hanging onto old ways of dealing with and responding to loved ones, even though we know these old ways do not work, or make us happy.
I borrowed this from my local library, on the advice of my Relate counsellor, and enjoyed it so much that I'm buying it for reference.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars changed my life, 5 July 2009
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
Considering this book was written 20 years ago, it's very accurate, relevant, insightful and useful. More so than some of the self-help books written today.

This book isn't just about anger. It's about, society, family systems and the impact they have on your life, challenging yourself, empowering yourself (and others in your relationships and family) and creating healthy patterns which help you live life and enjoy your existence to the fullest.

I can't say great enough things about this book. There are subtle bits of advice that really help too- like when the author says listen to your subconcious, it's there to protect you. There's a reason why you have evolved the way you have evolved and sometimes it is to protect the status quo, because you are not ready to change.

Just a personal note:

This book is especially good if you can't seem to understand why your personal life is filled with so much, emptiness or destructiveness and instability.There no alcoholism, sexual abuse etc in my family and we're all educated and successful.Yet, something about my life has caused me a deep and dark depression for the longest time. Reading The Dance of Anger and the Dance of Intimacy by Harriet Lerner is a book I've been looking for all my life. It helped me understand why.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lots of helpful stories and insights, 14 Feb 2011
By 
William Cohen (London) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships (Paperback)
This is supposed to be a book for women, but I think most things in it apply equally to men.

I'm only sorry that its insights came about 20 years too late for my parent's marriage. The stuff on triangles explains lots of things. My father was in a deeply-entrenched triangle with my mum and his mother. Only when my grandmother died, did the triangle collapse and the family disintegrated, bringing a happier outcome for all of us, really. The descriptions of how one parent can do all the emoting for both partners was an idea I hadn't heard of before, and explains why my father managed to avoid dealing with his mother's controlling behaviour. The other useful insight was how problems resurface down the generations. I can see why 'doing what I really want to do' has not only been my problem it goes back to my father and my grandfather. Issues like the care of elderly parents, which proved an explosive subject in our family life, turn out to have been played out in the previous generation, too.

A useful book that contributes to the elucidation of that mystifying habit we have of creating our own problems.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really useful read!, 11 Jun 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Easy to read, highly relevant to any woman, amazing book. I will be recommending it to quite a few friends.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


‹ Previous | 1 25 | Next ›
Most Helpful First | Newest First

This product

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships
£8.99
In stock
Add to basket Add to wishlist
Only search this product's reviews