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on 9 June 2008
Good book but 90% repeats what is in Getting to Yes - even some of the negotiation samples are lifted wholesale. So buy Getting to Yes and buy Getting Past No if you lose your copy of Getting to Yes.
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on 14 May 2011
William Ury wrote here an excellent sequel on the bestseller "Getting to Yes" and expands hereby the negotiation tools set to be more equipped towards dealing with the difficult person in a negotiaton (or situation).

The book follows 5 steps. It covers basic communication styles to diffuse the situation and elements to boost your BATNA (your best alternative) overall. The content list of his book gives already some ideas of this approach. The book covers these 5 steps in a schematic way, by being brief and very much to the point. Compact written and easy to assimilate.

William Ury does also give the course "Dealing with Difficult People and Difficult Situations" at the Program on Negotiation (PON) at Harvard Law School. This course follows also these 5 steps as illustrated here in this book. He is certainly a highly experienced and empathic speaker. He is a great person to come across and therefore I am not surprised he wrote a excellent book like this.

I certainly highly recommend his book, his negotiation course, as well as William Ury as public speaker/trainer.

Overview: Negotiating with difficult people

Step 1: Go to the balcony (Don't react)
- Keep your eyes on the prize
o Identify your interests
o Identify your BATNA
o Decide if your should negotiate
o Stay focused on your goal
- Name the game
- Buy time to think
o Pause and say nothing
o Rewind the tape
o Take a time-out
o Don't make important decisions on the spot

Step 2: Step to their side (Disarm them)
- Listen actively
o Give your opponent a hearing
o Paraphrase and ask for corrections
- Acknowledge the point & the person
o Acknowledge your opponent's feelings
o Offer an apology
- Agree wherever you can
o Agree without conceding
o Accumulate Yeses
o Tune in to your opponent's wavelength
- Acknowledge the person
o Acknowledge his authority and competence
- Express your views without provoking
o Don't say BUT, say YES...AND
o Make I statements, not you-statements
o Step up for yourself
o Acknowledge your differences with optimism

Step 3: Don't reject....reframe (Change the game)
Step 4: Build them a golden bridge (Make it easy to say YES)
Step 5: Educate, don't escalate (Make it easy to say NO)
Conclusion: Turning adversaries into partners
Analytical table of contents
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on 9 September 2002
If you have read the “getting to the yes”, this is a logical sequel. The first book was superb, creating high expectations for this one, but you wont be disappointed.
It discusses clear ways to get in and out of the zone of uncomfortable debate, with people that “stucks” with the “no”.
A very easy, very useful and practical read.
Provides extremely good advice. It will certainly deliver results for most readers, changing the way they negotiate with reluctant and stubborn people.
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on 20 May 2013
Really enjoyed this book. I agree that using the techniques it teaches you gives you the potential to negotiate sucessfully with anyone. However, of course how effectively you did this would depend on how well you applied them. Loved the examples from high stakes negotiations in the cold war and hostage situations. Would like to find this type of book on body language and interview techniques.
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on 8 June 2013
This shouldn't be your first book in negotiation. If you want to start at the right spot do so with it's older brother, Getting to Yes. IF you've already read that, then this will complement very nicely what you've read. All the talk about using the Ju-Jitsu of negotiation in this book takes a whole new meaning and is elaborated very clearly and practically. Really good!
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on 15 June 2013
Dealing with difficult people is ... difficult.
Beeing able to understand what is happening with those people and having techniques to deal with the normal reactions induced by difficult people behaviour is an empowering advantage one should try to get.
Not just for traders or selling persons, but for everyone who as to interact frequently with other persons and negotiate his way trough.
Described in a very clear way, the techniques are quickly percieved and easily remenbered.
An important tool for better living.
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on 3 January 2014
found the format rather dry and uninteresting. Probably not enough real cases to illustrate the methods. Next edition should have cases that can be used in teaching.
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on 6 December 2014
Great way to profitably spend airport down-time.
Especially over a glass of wine

A book that's as relevant today as when it was written
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on 2 June 2014
This is the first negotiation technique book I have read; it helped re-define techniques for negotiation and introduce some new ones too. Very useful.
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on 2 December 2014
A must read, simple rules, ready made answers for how to solve everyday and other problems in business, home, relationships and more :)
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