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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars transformational
I was a bit puzzled by this book at first - I thought the four questions were too simple. But by the time I reached the end of the book I had got it - a profound change occurs almost without you realising. Byron Katie's work is really a radical form of cognitvie therapy which makes you aware that almost all of our 'problems' and the negativity we feel is caused by our...
Published on 5 April 2008 by Janie

versus
20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Trust yourself instead
I have only got through part of this book, so I wanted to make this clear at the beginning of this short piece.
I found that in the parts I read, there was the odd inspiring part - such as questioning the underlying assumptions about your life and whether they are true for you. There is truth to the fact that attachment to certain thoughts can cause us suffering...
Published on 28 April 2012 by Ronnie D


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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars transformational, 5 April 2008
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This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
I was a bit puzzled by this book at first - I thought the four questions were too simple. But by the time I reached the end of the book I had got it - a profound change occurs almost without you realising. Byron Katie's work is really a radical form of cognitvie therapy which makes you aware that almost all of our 'problems' and the negativity we feel is caused by our thoughts. It's interesting to read it together with Steve Taylor's book Out of the Darkness, which contains a section a section on Byron Katie and an interview with Eckhart Tolle. It explains the basis of spiritual awakening and is a massively inspiring book, full of amazing stories. Out of the Darkness: From Turmoil to Transformation
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69 of 72 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A revolutionary yet beautifully simple teaching, 27 May 2005
By A Customer
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
For anyone interested in their psychological or spiritual or emotional well-being there simply is not a book on Amazon more worthy of your attention! The reason is that it is not necessary to accept or follow any particular spiritual beliefs in order to do The Work. Katie asks nothing of us but to investigate those judgements or events in our life that cause us pain and suffering in a compassionate and caring manner using a four-step system that is brilliant in its simplicity. And what's more, it works! Katie cannot be underestimated as a pioneering force in spiritual and psychoanalytical development and I urge anyone who hasn't already done so to treat themselves to a real gem!
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Changes you before you finish the book!, 21 Nov 2006
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
I had this book recommended to me and after reading the raving positive reviews thought that I'd give it a try. Wow.. this is such a good book that I cannot recommend it highly enough. I have been in therapy for over three years, after an abusive childhood and violent husband, and I can honestly say that this book was equally (if not more) powerful in changing the way I think just a third of the way into it. I have read many self-help books and this is genuinely the one that actually changes the way that you think and see things that have happened to you in the past and helps you feel calm about whatever happens to you in the fuure. It helped a good female friend of mine too but one word of caution.. I gave it to two male friends and they couln't get on with it. Maybe because it is dialogue based? it may be more suited to women. Katie takes Buddhist philosopies and makes them so easy to understand. An excellent book that if it works for you will completely change you for ever.
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20 of 21 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Trust yourself instead, 28 April 2012
By 
Ronnie D (Birmingham, UK) - See all my reviews
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I have only got through part of this book, so I wanted to make this clear at the beginning of this short piece.
I found that in the parts I read, there was the odd inspiring part - such as questioning the underlying assumptions about your life and whether they are true for you. There is truth to the fact that attachment to certain thoughts can cause us suffering. However, a good book on cognitive bahvioural therapy is probably a better bet than this book. However, for me the book soon became hard going and repetitive. Is it really true, for example, that there's no such thing as verbal abuse? Byron Katie seems to think so. I wonder what her views on physical abuse would be! To be honest, I didn't have the motivation to carry on reading to find out. She also goes on about 'living amends' and making right past wrongs. Whilst this can sometimes be helpful and beneficial to us personally - many situations are far too complex to label with blame. Her argument here seems to be to create peace through what we do (rather than accept what is - which seems a little contradictory).
Also, I felt that by applying her 'method', it's impossible to have a view about something and stand against what we feel is wrong for us. The question will always be 'Is it true?'. In the end, it leaves you with little to stand on apart from an uncertain reality.
I am am glad for those who get something good from this book. I would just say...be careful, think for yourself and approach with caution. For me, it was seriously flawed. According to the author, 'The Work' always brings us back to ourselves. I would ask her 'Can you really know that's true?'. For me, it didn't and personally it just wasn't something I wanted to complete. Trust your own heart and let your own intuition guide you.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book WILL save your LIFE!, 30 Oct 2005
By 
loveboooks (London, England) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
PLEASE read this book. It is a revelation! I read this book then went on one of Byron Katie's Schools for The Work (read the book to see what this is) and I absolutely have never, ever experienced happiness, true bliss and joy like it! Katie is the truest embodiment of love I have ever met and if you read the book, and do the work, you will be ASTONISHED by how much peace and JOY will come into your heart and your life!
For me the Audio CDs were even better, hearing Katie doing The Work in person has to be heard - it truly is a miracle!!!
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108 of 116 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life transforming!!!!, 11 Nov 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
This book shows us that the root of all our problems begin with a thought. For example: "I hate who I am, I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate Bob, Jane, my ex-wife, I hate the rich, blacks, whites, Jews, Christians, Communism, I hate this world". The list goes on. How do these thoughts make you feel? Negative, resentful, angry, jealous, hurtful, all these things and more. The reality is: you simply are who you are, your job is your job and you are in it right now, Bob is just Bob, your life is just however it is. Life or existence itself is just however it is. It is at the very point of giving thought to a given situation that you experience an emotion. Before a (negative) thought, you're ok. Then the thought comes along, you're not ok, a problem has arisen. So who created this problem? You did. By holding on to a certain thought or pattern of thoughts, you create an experience that you take as reality, your world, THE world, but that world exists only in your mind. The problem exists therefore only in your mind. So what's your problem got to do with your job, your life, your father, your boss, Bob, your so-called enemies. Nothing! You place the blame on the world and then try to change it, when the problem lies internally with your thoughts about the the need to change the world. Change ones thinking, then the world changes too, because the world is simply what's going on in the thoughts of 6 billion individuals. Where is this world that we talk of? There is no world other than in our own minds. It is constructed out of the thousands of thoughts that we have about it, upon which he keep building more thoughts, more concepts.
This book is powerful stuff! Yet at the same time, utterly simple and accessible. Forget about religion and other silly beliefs. A set of beliefs, be it spiritual or moral is a set of thoughts, the cause of your suffering, not the answer. After all, as explained ealier, what is suffering anyway other than a thought. How can you use the cause of your suffering (a thought) to solve it? That's like using fire to fight fire. With the help of this book, through the simple realization that our thoughts about a situation or person is the problem and not the situation or person itself, we come to see therefore that our problems are all illusory. Then we no longer experience them as problems. They are simply thoughts. Result: peace!
I recommend also As It Is by Tony Parsons, a book of staggering clarity.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Really Disappointed and alittle Shocked!, 21 Feb 2012
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This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
I came across Byron Katie on utube by accident and immediately thought her 4 question and Turnaround approach to investigating your thinking was dynamite. I am trying to transform my thinking, where I feel it is distorted or toxic and I thought this would really help me. I have already read afew CBT books that have really helped my quest. Byron's approach is basically CBT but she is possibly trying to take it to a deeper spiritual level. I went on her website and quickly ordered her book and could not wait for it to arrive. The Book is a disappointment. It is basically a collection of dialogues and very little explanation from Byron herself about her Concepts. Some of her Concepts are actually really insightful and helpful. For example, 'Staying in Your Business', 'Accepting Reality' and 'Letting go of Your Story' and I did have some 'lightbulb' moments with them.

However, what lets this Self Help Guru down is her approach which is forceful and uncaring rather then compassionate. Most of the dialogues with the participants come across as aggressive, if they are not answering the way she wants them to answer which she disguises with her use of words like 'Angel', Sweetheart'. She wants everyone to believe that everything that has happened to them is their fault. Life does not work like that!! Sometimes, people do terrible things to other people and the victim is not to blame for any of it! It appears that in her quest to detach herself from her thoughts, she has detached herself from caring about people or having any emotions. What a sad, deluded life she is living and she actually believes she is enlightened in the moment! I could cope with this as there are some interesting 'nuggets' regarding projection and how we project our fears onto others. What really shocked me was her dialogue with a Sexual Abuse/Rape Victim where she leads the poor woman to believe that she played a part in being continually raped as a 8 year old girl as she was looking to be loved and was too afraid to tell anyone. She even leads her to suggest that the woman abused the abuser!! Absolutely ridiculous! She goes onto say that the man who raped her was 'doing the best he can' and 'looking to be loved'. This is outrageous and made me feel physically repulsed! But Bryon would say that my feeling this way, is my business and nothing to do with her!! At another point in the book she remembers when her grandson was born and stopped breathing and she just 'smiled' and thought 'his breath is not my business'. What?!! She is taking her own concepts to the extreme!

I totally lost respect for her after reading this and felt like throwing the book in the dustbin!! Instead of feeling empowered, I started feeling guilty for being responsible for other people hurting me when really people hurt you because they themselves are hurting and not because of anything you have done to them. It is such a shame because I did get some useful insights out of the book and it has helped shift some of attitudes and beliefs on how attached I am to 'how things should be or people should behave'.

So no this is not a life changing book and I would not buy it. Just go on her website and do 'The Work' and that will be enough. There is also an iphone app which is helpful turning around stressful thoughts. There are so many other better Self Help books out there written by people who care about your personal freedom. I am currently listening to Don Miguel 'The Mastery of Love' which is brilliant and I have just ordered his book 'The Four Agreements' which is meant to be amazing!! I have heard 'The Power of Now' is also good. If you are looking to transform your thinking, I would highly recommend 'Feeling Good' by Dr Burns which explains CBT techniques in good detail.
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49 of 53 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars LIFE CHANGING STUFF INDEED!, 9 Jan 2006
By A Customer
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
I was extremely sceptical when I first came across this book having read numerous others of this genre but I can honestly say this book blew me away....its effects were dramatic and I just felt as if huge shift had occurred in my general outlook which I now recognize is irreversible. I was about half way through the book when I realised I had just "got it", (something akin to the proverbial penny dropping)and now I can't imagine how I could have lived in such darkness before this light was switched on - it's effects really are as dramatic as that! I now KNOW that I consciously choose to be happy or otherwose and that that is all entirely within my power and I find it incredible that I just didn't see this truth before - this truth which is so blindingly obvious - and which once seen cannot be unseen any more than I could "unlearn" how to swim or ride a bike! My family and friends have all noticed a huge change in me - I have become easy-going, calm and at peace...previously I was often moody, snappy with everyone (including my husband and 3 young children), driven and resentful - basically in conflict with reality. I have just ordered another 3 of these books for friends who are all curious about my "secret". Katie can save us from ourselves, waking us up to the fact that we can be our own worst enemies. I owe her a huge debt of gratitude!
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49 of 53 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A tool-box for life, 12 Mar 2003
By 
reader (United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
Do people, things, situations, worry you? scare you? annoy you? Are you a human being?
If the answer is yes then READ THIS BOOK. It will give you a method to overcome anything. It is a life changer!
For years I thought I was doing something wrong. I would try to meditate, be spiritual or distance myself from things but always I failed and let things get to me.
Now, by doing "The Work" as set out by Byron Katie, four questions that can be applied to any situation, I have a much more happy, contented and peaceful life.
Other books tell you to be present and focused in the moment but this book goes well beyond that and tells you how and why.
Not only are we told the questions, but also, how to apply them is explained in depth, followed by examples of many real life situations which are wonderfully revealing and helpful.
This is a wonderful book which applies to all. It is not particularily religious, atheiest or spiritual, and yet it is all. It is a tool box for life and I found it extremely helpful.
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life-Changing Work, 27 Jan 2009
This review is from: Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (Paperback)
A few months ago my whole world fell apart. My girlfriend told me that she didn't want to see me anymore. A few weeks later while away on a ski-trip and feeling incredibly low, someone suggested that I have a look at this book by Byron Katie (I also ordered another of her books "I Need Your Love - Is That True?")

It was a while before I had the courage to pick it up because I was scared that no-one could help me. But about 2 weeks ago I began reading and both books have transformed the way that I think. For as long as I can remember, I've been tormented by negative thoughts about myself and the world around me, and have never 'lived in the moment' or appreciated what I have. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't know how to. Katie has shown me how.

Katie taught me that it was my thoughts about my girlfriend leaving me that were the cause of my misery. Some of those thoughts were: "I'm a failure", "My life is over", "I can't forgive myself for not being surer of my feelings and showing her more love", "I need her", "I need her to give me a second chance". These thoughts just kept going round and round in my head and I unquestioningly believed them - very much like a child believes a frightening story. Katie showed me a way of taking every thought and putting it up to inquiry so that I could see that they aren't really true for me.

Thanks to this book, I am beginning to approach life with a new clarity. And I've rediscovered the most important relationship of all, the one with myself. I am learning to accept who I am in a way that I haven't since I was about 9.

According to one reviewer this makes me 'an emotional illiterate'. I would say this: I did well at school and am training as a surgeon. But no-one ever gave me a lesson on how to deal with my emotions. So I can accept that while I have a high reading literacy level, I might be emotionally illiterate. So I thank this reviewer for her kind insight into my life, and to why I needed the work of Byron Katie.

I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead
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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Stephen Mitchell (Paperback - 27 Jun 2002)
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