Top positive review
90 of 97 people found this helpful
on 4 February 2013
Like other readers I strongly suggest you view her TED talks - but this book is an amplification and detailed explanation of the talk - it really enhances what she's saying.
First, for those unfamiliar with Brene's work, she is a 'proper' academic, researcher, but working in the less common academic field of studying vulnerablilty and shame. Now before you decide this book isn't for you - just think about some of these things she's discovered.
As we get older, wiser and more bruised by life's events - a lot of us try to shut down our feelings of vulnerability so we don't get hurt any more. We also try to comply to society's stereotypes of our gender (these are completely different for men and women - as a woman I thought the social prssure to be thin, pretty and have a perfect home was bad - just read her research on men's straitjacket). The problem is with this, is that we numb all our feelings. So if you don't feel bad, you don't feel good either. She identifies that so many of us believe we can avoid unhappiness by forboding - who hasn't had a moment of 'everything is going well - disaster must be about to strike', rather than accepting that if bad things happen, the missing out on enjoying the preceeding good years won't help?
I'm explaining this badly - she does it really well, with honesty, vulnerability and humour. I urge you to try this book - I don't think you will regret it. It will change your perspective on life, your approach to parenting and contributes to a more joyful, less scared and angry middle-years period.