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on 3 November 2013
I've read dozens, probably all, the books on narcissism, but I missed this one because I wasn't searching for 'psychopath' even though that's what I called my ex.
When this little book arrived I wanted to hate it: obviously self-published with a thin curling cover & low-quality graphic of a caged bird flying free, and written under the hippy pseudonym of 'Peace'.

However, it is right on the money, a brilliant little book that will sort your head out if you've been tangled up with a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath, whatever you want to call them. Those people who twist everything you say, who lie to your face without blushing, who belittle & insult you then claim THEY'RE the victim. All those nasty little mind games they play, they're right here.

It's written very well, only the odd typo (sorry, I'm a proofreader) and is mercifully free of annoying prose. It's down-to-earth, practical, BS free. It explains how your relationship started out like a fairytale: s/he showered you with compliments & praise, lavished gifts on you, called you the best thing that ever happened to them, called you 'soulmate' after just a few weeks. Then things start to go wrong, and you find s/he is insulting you, winding you up, being mean, flirting with their ex on social media. They break up with you, and while you are left heartbroken & confused, they're already in another relationship, and it's being flaunted right in your face (on faceb00k).
"Peace" explains that this was all a set-up, it was all staged, deliberately to ensnare you, make you fall in love, and then dump you. It's a game to the controller, they never did care for you, and they don't care for their other exes or their next partner (victim) either.

You didn't get caught out because you're stupid or because you're a masochist: you got caught because you're a caring kind person who tries to see the best in people. Because you would never treat someone so badly, you fail to recognise or believe it when someone does it to you: you forgive them, you give them another chance, you believe them when they say "it'll never happen again". Later on, when they really start to gaslight & crazymake you, you'll think you're going mad. They will TELL you you're going mad, imagining things, being paranoid, crazy. They will accuse you of being the things they are being: nasty, lying, abusive. They will shout at you and then say they never shouted, YOU were shouting. They will deny saying or doing things that you know darn sure they did, and they will convince you that YOU said or did those things. They are that manipulative & devious & unpleasant.

Your friends & family won't believe you because they always see the good (false) side of the abuser, who turns on the charm like a tap (faucet).

This book shows you the red flags that you missed or dismissed, it explains why nobody ever believes you when you say what your partner does in private, and why you "don't just leave".
Once you retrain yourself NOT to give these people a 2nd, 3rd or 10th chance, you are well on your way to avoiding being caught out time after time after time. You can break the cycle.

This one stays on my bookshelf with the work of Lundy Bancroft & Patricia Evans.
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on 13 May 2013
I haven't left a review before despite owning a mini library, but felt I had to regarding this book, After suffering from what I now know was Narcissistic abuse for 10 years this book is becoming a Life Saver for me. It is written with knowledge of abuse caused by Psychopaths/Narcissists and other emotional abusers. It not only explains the actions of these abusers and why they do what they do but is helping me to understand myself so much more and to grow from what could of been a life destroying time.
There is much written about physical abuse so it is great to have found a book written for those of us who have been or are being emotionally abused.
So if you are struggling with understanding the complex range of emotions that are felt during a break up or feel you need to understand what is happening in your relationship this book is defiantly worth a read
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on 19 April 2013
A brilliant read, not finished yet but still absolutely love it, if you have just left abusive relationship this book will help you get your mind back! :)
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on 31 August 2013
Before I found this book I was surely going insane. In all my 52 years never have I felt the devastation, isolation and despair during the breakup of a relationship. After reading this book three times in two weeks I now know what has been happening to me during my 5 year relationship with my alleged soul mate and the subsequent 7 month break up period. It's not me, I did not do anything wrong, I did love enough, I was always good enough, I am kind and beautiful , I do have a loving heart. I am alive and my feelings are real .... I am not a machine like HIM and I am not destructive!!!! A must read for your own sanity and well being
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on 20 August 2013
The book is beautifully written and kind to the broken eyes reading it. It allows you to believe in yourself by educating your mind as to how and why you ended up in this toxic relationship. I have joined the psychopathfree forum and have drawn much strength from sharing my story and seeing others experiences. I will survive!
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on 30 September 2013
I would recommend this book to anyone who is recovering from a relationship with a psychopathic partner. It's hard to know where to start with recovery and this book will helps with acceptance, recovering and gives information to help you avoid the same thing happening again.
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on 9 April 2013
This book is simple and easy to read and straight to the point. It's helped me understand whats happened and to protect myself for the future. Everyone needs this book and to learn about psychopaths how they ruining lives of people, it's until we know what they are and what they do that we can protect ourselfs. Brilliant book!
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on 3 May 2013
I got out of a toxic relationship a year ago, I wish I'd had this book then. I was a year on and in some ways was feeling worse than ever. I hated feeling like a 'victim' and wondered where the strong person who used to be me had gone.

I had read info on sociopaths/psychopaths but this book was the final bit of the jigsaw for me. I did not expect the author to have gone through almost exactly the same as me, down to the same sentences the ex used. It explained why I felt crazy at times, the strategies that were used on me, and how I can really let go.

People in my life wanted to help me but they just didn't get what I was going through, having only been through 'normal' breakups themselves. I thought I was damaged for good, unable to trust or love again, but this book has made me realize that this sort of thing happens for a reason, and ultimately I will be a happier, stronger more compassionate person because of it.

Cannot recommend this highly enough, especially if you feel like you are 'stuck' in recovery. Just knowing people went through the exact same emotions as me has helped me more than I could have imagined. Now I know I am not damaged, I still have the same opportunities and chances in life as everybody else, and more importantly, I deserve to be happy.

Thanks so much to the author, this book really has saved me.

Update 27/03/14

Just wanted to add that this book was a vital tool in my path to recovery, but I only recently began tapping/EFT and have managed to rid myself of a lot of negative feelings about myself and the Ex (sociopath). I highly recommend 'The Tapping Solution' by Nick Ortner, it has made all the difference and I do not think about what happened to me anywhere near as much, and if I do it is not upsetting. I think the psychopath-free website mentions EFT as a good tool to use. Best wishes x
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on 3 March 2014
This is not the best book on the subject. It is very trite at times and with insufficient insight in many places. It is solely about intimate personal relationships, and aimed at the American mass market. I think it largely lacks depth.
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on 9 April 2014
This book is life changing. There was barely a sentence or phrase that I didn't highlight in marker pen, I identified so much with the explanation of what I'd encountered and endured six years. I found it jaw dropping that all the facts were there for me to see with such clarity, very readable and encouraging as to how to not only survive, but come out transformed from the experience.

Before finding and reading this, when it came to my relationship and the inherent cruelty that kept coming my way, I kept asking myself why, why, why? I wasn't saying this after I'd finished.

The clarity and insight to the psychopath encounter is brilliant and written in a very readable style. You find you can't put it down. It is a source of reference for always. It not only identifies the encounter, but cheerfully assures you, you can get through this and you CAN come out of the experience a person that can truly move on in life. I found this to be so. I will always be indebted to Peace and the amazing forum support [...] that goes alongside this book.
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