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4.6 out of 5 stars20
4.6 out of 5 stars
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on 7 May 1999
This book was an excellent overview for a new step-mom. It has delightful and poignant life-experiences from real step-moms and even biological fathers. Mostly, it lets you know that you are not alone in your feelings for your step-child, even if those feelings are negative. Allows you to see yourself as part of a community, rather than alone in the world and in this particular situation. Helps you to focus on what is important and advises you to let go of the rest. Excellent chapters on focusing on your marriage, how to handle vacations with the step-children, dealing with your husband's ex-wife, and when to get help. All in all, a very fine book.
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on 2 July 1999
This book draws a true picture of what being a stepmother is really all about. No false hope is involved. I believe this book has given me a base to start with in my new venture as a stepmother. I now realize you don't have to love your stepchild to be a wonderful stepmother.
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on 4 February 1999
After ten years of doing it all for my stepchildren, and feeling like a failure, I read Cherie Burns' book and now I know I'm not alone. Why didn't someone tell me earlier that my expectations were too high? This book would be a god-send to any woman marrying a man with children. I had to read this book in one sitting. I am now rereading it and highlighting specific areas that I want to reflect upon, and live by. My husband and I have discussed much of this book and our marriage is better for it. Thank you Cherie for telling it like it is!
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on 22 September 1998
When I started reading this book, I suddenly felt not so alone. The suggestions are practical and useful. I found myself realizing that my expectations of everyone involved (including myself) had to be scaled back. I was re-energized and comforted. What I liked best was that though the book is centered on step-mothering, many of the suggestions can be applied to any family life--especially when it comes to communication, discipline, etc. I would defintiely recommend this book to other step-moms.
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on 17 December 2003
A really practical but friendly & chatty guide. Whenever a new problem or aspect arises, it's there in this book somewhere. If, like me, you know no-one else in this situation, it's really comforting to see all the myriad of conflicting emotions whizzing around inside your head in plain black and white with some pragmatic & reassuring comment as well. Indispensible if you value your sanity!!
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on 11 February 1999
I have tried therapy, talking to my friends, talking to my husband-to-be, and nothing has helped. Finally, my last resort was to check the internet for possible suggestions. I ordered this book and read the whole thing in two days. I haven't felt this good, since the very beginning of my relationship with my six-year-old stepdaughter. I am much more confident that what I am doing as a stepmother is right, and not worrying so much about all the "mother duties" I had tried to take on in the past. Please, take my advise, GET THIS BOOK! IT'S WONDERFUL!
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on 21 February 1999
The author did a nice job of telling summarizing being a stepmother. As a new stepmother of 3 young children, it was nice to know that my feelings were very common among others. There are areas where I wish she had gone into more depth, but she did a nice job of covering a variety of topics. If I ever have a friend who becomes a stepmother I will recommend this book to her!
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on 16 April 2010
This book reassures you, in an American way, that step motherhood is not easy and you are definitely not alone in feeling excluded and undervalued in your role. Many a line from this book could have been taken from my own lips as a plaintive custodial step mother. Cherie Burns identifies all the problems that arise and allows us to focus not only on re-addressing them from a new angle, but also reminds us of the importance of keeping equal focus on the valuable relationship we have with our new partner/husband. In parts, the book could have gone into more detail or offered some practical exercises to follow. There should have been more information for step parents, each with their own custodial children,as it is increasingly the case that fathers too, become custodial parents.
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on 23 August 1998
I found myself nodding at several of the examples and applauding the suggestions. Although I knew my stepdaughters for 4 years before my marriage to their father, I realized that both they and I needed guidance as we navigated our own changes over time (they will be entering their pre-teen years very soon). It is heartening to learn that other women have experienced the same feelings I have. I will give this book to every new stepmom I come across.
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on 22 October 1998
This book made me feel good about myself and my role as a stepmother with countless reassuring examples on how to handle this challenging lifestyle. Cherie Burns helps explain how to handle every situation such as discipline,guilt, husbands, and family life. I thoroughly recommend this book to all stepmothers to read!
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