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146 of 152 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book could save my relationship
I read this book first time years ago and thought it to be one of the must books to have in ones book shelf to get back to time and time again. Now I am in a situation where my long term relationship is in great difficulties. For some reason I started reading this book and it was shocking to see how typical our situation is. It is a real eye opener of how people get...
Published on 18 Jan 2006

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Over rated
This book is very good at emphasising how important emotional intelligence is, and after hearing all the evidence the author gives, it is hard to disagree. However there is absolutely no information on how we can improve our eq at all. I consider myself to be someone in need of a higher eq. listening to this just made me think yeah I wish I had some of that, but I don't...
Published 18 months ago by Mr. C. J. O'hanlon


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35 of 41 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Intelligence Comes in Different Forms, not just Cognitive IQ, 18 Oct 2002
By A Customer
Daniel Goleman refers to "a growing body of evidence showing that success in school depends to a surprising extent on emotional characteristics formed in the years BEFORE a child enters school." Having been a preschool teacher for many years, I must agree. So much of what determines how a child is going to fit into the world depends on his strengths (not weaknesses) along with his degree of self-esteem (not necessarily his IQ or SAT scores). This book is a must for all parents, especially those who feel their child simply does not compare to the "kid next door"...you know, the one who seems to be good at everything. Although that may be true, Goleman says that by nuturing and teaching to the Emotional Intelligence and strengths of your child, the chance of success in future years will be increased. ALL children have the ability to accomplish goals. Maybe your child is extremely good in his interpersonal skills--well-liked by his peers and blessed with the gift of gab and a great sense of humor. These are perfect qualities for a successful salesman. The fact that a child does not test well in math or written English skills and has a very average IQ is not directly significant in how successful he will become as a salesman. Those kids that excel in the arts may enjoy huge success in a career as an actor, artist, film producer, or photographer, especially if his Emotional Intelligence is high. In addition to giving a child unconditional love, I feel it is our job as good parents to identify our children's strengths in the early years and give them plenty of chances to experience challenges, accomplishment, and joy in those areas. Along with this excellent theoretical book, I highly recommend for those of you who have young children, a very practical little book called "The Pocket Parent." This quick-read A-Z guide will give you many specific strategies for increasing the Emotional Intelligence of your 2- to 5-year-old through daily communication and activites. By following the advice of these two books, you will help your child learn how to better interact with others, solve problems, and develop empathy, while maintaining a good sense of self-worth just the way s/he is.
Also recommended: THE POCKET PARENT: Exclusively written for parents of 2-5 year olds.(most directly related chapters include "Comparing and Labeling Children", "Self-Esteem", "Listening", "Values" and "Discipline")
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ponder, 14 Aug 2011
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I'm still reading this book. As many other users (Amazon Customers) have rightly said this is definitely not a guide to developing Emotional Intelligence, nor a self help book to help you in desire. Goleman sheds light on our life and our different ways of thinking. He offers some excellent (and detailed) explanations to those moments we often take for granted. I.e., one sentence really can go a long way!
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38 of 45 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The best introduction available to Emotional Intelligence, 25 Mar 2000
By A Customer
This is the book which put EQ on the map. It makes a good case for what Emotional Intelligence is, why it's important, and some of the brain science backing it up (along with scientific support for NLP concepts like rapport). No clues given as to how to develop it though!
I found the book readable and fascinating (though as I teach EQ development courses I have a professional interest). It's a good summary of much of the research in this area.
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77 of 92 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not exactly what it appears to be, 31 Dec 2003
By 
Dennis Littrell (SoCal) - See all my reviews
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There is a lot to admire here and I enjoyed returning to a genre (popular psychology) that I left many years ago. If my recollection is correct, Goleman’s book is a step beyond such “classics” as I’m Okay, You’re Okay..., etc., particularly in terms of scholarship. I liked the way he took the medical profession to task for its lack of empathy and its failure to provide emotional support for patients. He does not however address the cause, which is the desire of the AMA and its members to maintain the exclusivity and high economic status of the profession. I loved the affection Goleman showed for the children learning to be social.
However I don’t think the book is about emotional so much as social intelligence, and perhaps that is entirely to the good since social intelligence is a fundamental human need, and certainly for most people it is easier to learn social skills than it is to discard negative emotions and achieve positive ones. Most of the book is about how to behave effectively in society, how to make adjustments in marriage, on the job, with peers, at school, etc. Some space is given to the experiences in childhood that mold us emotionally (or so it is believed).
This is all fine, but I don’t think Goleman makes much of a case for changing emotions as he does for changing behavior. Of course, I’m all for that: if you don’t feel empathy, at least fake it! On page 107 for example he talks about the “utter lack of empathy for their victims” by “child molesters and other such offenders.” He describes “one of the most promising treatment programs” in which “the offenders read heart-wrenching accounts of crimes like their own, told from the victim’s perspective.” The psychologist who developed the program claims that the recidivism rate for those who complete the program is half that of those who did not receive the treatment. Even if true, it doesn’t follow that these guys learned any empathy. Most likely they learned more clever behavior, and of course the people who entered and stayed with the program are preselected to not return for any number of reasons, mainly because they’re smarter.
I have a similar objection to the idea (for example) that depression leads to increased death and disease. Certainly the life expectancy of depressed people is less than that of optimistic people, but it is not clear whether depression is a cause or a symptom. And the well known connection between social isolation and morbidity reported by Goleman doesn’t necessarily mean that social isolation kills, but could mean that people who want to die, first isolate themselves from society, which is the way in some cultures—or it could mean something else entirely.
I also object to the general idea that emotions, instruments of the evolutionary mechanism, can or should be much influenced by society except in self-defense. The purpose of many emotions is to drive the individual in a direction consistent with the needs of the species mechanism regardless of what society or the individual wants. The needs, concerns and prejudices of any given society are relatively ephemeral notions compared to the evolutionary imperative, and in many cases it’s a good thing we have instincts that override what society wants.
Goleman’s book is understandably written from the point of view of the society and as such puts social concerns first; however I am at that place in my life where I find the concerns of the individual to be more important. The (rather limited) psychological tradition that Goleman is an effective spokesman for, is not to me as important or as valuable or even as “true” as the psychological ideas found in the great religions of the world.
One last very important quibble: nowhere in the book is the most deleterious emotion mentioned or identified as such. That emotion is desire. Goleman, unaccountably, does not even identify sexual desire! He lists love in Appendix A but it is apparent that sexual desire is not part of that classification (p. 289). He allows that there are “hundreds of emotions.” The fact that he does not recognize desire would be amazing except we know that his readers would not like to hear about any problems with desire, and this book is pristinely PC with a clear eye to the marketplace. Desire is what keeps the economic machine of the society that he represents going! As the economists say, goods are limited, but human desires are infinite. Additionally the secret to avoiding the inevitable pain caused by desire is not any attempt to fulfill those desires, but to lose the desires. That formula would not sit well with his readers nor with his publishers.
Goleman is accomplished and clever. He went to the best schools and he has made quite a success of his education. He is politically astute, and he may be an expert on emotion, but he should know that the splashy idea of emotional intelligence is as vague, subjective and limiting as that of IQ, perhaps more so.
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13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Intelligent Look at Intelligence, 17 Nov 1999
By A Customer
Daniel Goleman's "Emotional Intelligence" is a refreshingly intelligent book on the issue of intelligence. Shackled by "intelligence" tests and by curricula that define such topics as the arts and music as peripheral, we have come to assume a far too narrow definition of intelligence - and of ourselves. Goleman blasts through those constraints and thoughtfully reminds us that we are far more than our SAT scores. This is a very important book historically. Another important book you should read is The 2,000 Percent Solution by Mitchell, Coles and Metz, that presents effectiveness in a way both enlightened and practical - like Goleman, seeing us as who we really are and guiding us in using our full emotional potential to do our best in this life. May there be many more books like these!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, 1 Oct 2013
By 
Ms Li "Molly" - See all my reviews
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Clearly sets out the importance of EI and how IQ does not predict career/life success. I wish more attention was paid to this in schools and work.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars read it read it read it, 13 Sep 2013
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Possibly the most important book I've ever read. Critical to understand oneself and the mechanics of happiness. Read it and wake up.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential life reading for many, 11 Oct 2012
By 
M. A. Bennett "Hooks" (UK) - See all my reviews
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To those who knowingly or unknowingly naturally already make constant use of their emotional intelligence in various everyday situations, this book states the blindingly obvious. However, if like me, you've allowed this skill set not only to go undefined but also underused for far too many years, then you'll find this book an eye-opener.

It is simply presents a paradigm to through which one can better understand the impact emotions in how we think, behave and interact in the world. This book presents opportunities for person to look at their emotions somewhat objectively rather than simply feel them and thus consider alternative actions rather than just going with the tide of those emotions. Essential life reading for some, if not many.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read, 28 Jan 2012
By 
A John (Uk) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: Emotional Intelligence (Paperback)
Daniel Goleman has put together a description of emotional intelligence, and why it matters more as an indicator of success than IQ. Using plenty of anecdotes, the book looks at the processes which happen when someone completely loses control, and why improving the emotional intelligence in society is essential. The book gets you thinking about your own life, and how you handle emotional situations, and if understanding the cause is half of the battle, then this goes a long way towards helping.

This is one of those books you would be glad you read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars excellent content, 16 Feb 2011
This review is from: Emotional Intelligence (Paperback)
Unfortunately the lay-out of this particular edition is difficult to read.
The contents however are excellent and a classic for all interested in psychology. It is positive and I gather from people who have undergone therapy based on these theories: it works!
Well worth a read for every person.
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Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel P. Goleman (Paperback - 27 Sep 2005)
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