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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Adequate
I have been reading the book for a few days and have to say that i wouldn't bother buying it if you're already familiar with attachment parenting and non-mainstream parenting approaches. The general gist can be summarised in a few lines (as other reviewers have noted) and it is that kids need to be strongly attached to their parents and not 'peer-oriented' as that's...
Published on 14 May 2011 by LucyG

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2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Ok but not for me..
Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer


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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Adequate, 14 May 2011
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
I have been reading the book for a few days and have to say that i wouldn't bother buying it if you're already familiar with attachment parenting and non-mainstream parenting approaches. The general gist can be summarised in a few lines (as other reviewers have noted) and it is that kids need to be strongly attached to their parents and not 'peer-oriented' as that's better for their development and for their relationship with their parents. it gives support to parents who instinctively feel that they want to keep their kids quite close by. the quotes given on the amazon reviews (and the reason for why i bought the book!) are excellent but i havent managed to find them in the book yet which is really badly edited-as one of the reviewers said-the whole thing could be summarised in a chapter and the repetitiveness is frustrating and a complete waste of time! It is very difficult to find the meaty bits in the book. But the message is very very important and gives credence to many people's unease about having kids, especially tiny babies and toddlers, spend so much time with other kids in nurseries forming peer attachments and losing their attachments to adults.

if you know anybody who is immersed in mainstream parenting culture (toddler groups, obsession with 'socialisation', pushing kids into 'independence' etc) then they would certainly benefit from having a look at this book. otherwise, unless you have loads of time, i would save your pennies for something more concise!

I have given the book 4 stars for the importance of what it's trying to convey.
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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Restoring Natural Parenting, 17 Mar. 2004
Several years ago, my wife and I attended a seminar by Vancouver psychologist, Dr. Gordon Neufeld. It was one of those rare educational experiences that really altered the way we related to our children. The subject of that talk, "Hold on to Your Kids", is now expanded in this wonderful new book, co-authored with Vancouver MD, Gabor Maté.
The first two-thirds deal with a cultural malaise that the authors claim is sweeping North America, making both parenting and teaching more challenging. With a wealth of both cited research and personal stories, the authors tie together issues such as bullying, early promiscuity, general aimlessness, learning difficulties, and the "flatlining of culture".
Despite the usual association with peer concerns, this is not just a book for parents of teenagers. There is something here for every age group, from preschool through high school. It's also most assuredly not just a catalog of problems, but a well-developed thesis leading to the insight necessary for solutions. Several chapters in the final section would be worth the price alone. "Discipline That Does Not Divide" is an excellent parenting primer, while "Create a Village of Attachment" will help both parents and teachers ensure that their charges profit from their school experience.
We who attended Dr. Neufeld's seminars in Vancouver had been waiting several years to see his ideas in print. The book does not disappoint. I will be rereading mine many times in the coming years. And perhaps more to come from this master of parenting.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An essential book for every parent, 13 July 2010
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A. Flynn "A." - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
There aer lots of good books for parents of young children, but very few good ones that I have come across for parents of older children. Gordon Neufeld talks in this book about human beings' basic need for attachment, and how, in a changing society over the alst fifty or sixty years, young people have started to find that attachment, and the associated role modelling, in their peers - a case of the blind leading the blind! He gives essential advice for parents as to how to create and maintain their childrens' attachment to them - he calls it reclaiming our children - and how to break unhealthy peer oriented behaviour. Essential for every parent with children aged 6+
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5.0 out of 5 stars How we respond to a child (especially when sad, scared or upset) throughout his growing years lays ..., 15 April 2015
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vera (LONDON, GB) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
I found this book really inspiring. It's in line with the approach suggested by gentle parenting, attachment parenting, the continuum theory and the likes. What's new for me is the concept of peer-orientation, the dangers it constitutes and the suggestions about how to avoid or fix it. How we respond to a child (especially when sad, scared or upset) throughout his growing years lays the foundation for the development of his emotional intelligence. It will affect how he views and manage their feelings, and those of others, throughout their lives. This is kind of important stuff. Simple but not easy to get it straight.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great book, 27 Jun. 2013
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A must read for every parent...... without a doubt ! You will probably want to read this book more then once.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Read, 13 May 2014
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
This book was amazing to read, it also makes a parent aware of having a relationship with your child! Some of the statements were so true, regarding the youngsters turn to their peers for the support they do not get from their parents
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4.0 out of 5 stars Attachment Parenting Part 2, 3 Feb. 2015
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
This is a great book - Sad that he stops short of suggesting home education though which is a natural solution to many of the problems the author raises.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars at last, 4 Jan. 2012
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M. Britz "Marie" (South London, UK) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
I found this a real breath of fresh air, with clear explanations of what went wrong & how to fix it.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars, 2 Feb. 2015
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
Ok but not for me..
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5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars, 24 Jan. 2015
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This review is from: Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers (Paperback)
Great thanks
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Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld (Paperback - 21 Oct. 2006)
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