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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You may well recognise yourself here
I admit I've done it. I ,ve stood on a touchline and shouted as my progeny has run up and down a lumpy field . "Track back", "Concentrate" "Man On", "For gods sake stop calling the ref a W***er and let me do it". All the time I was doing this I was fully cognisant that I was being every bit as idiotic as the other parents screaming their sagacious advice though I don't...
Published on 1 Nov 2007 by russell clarke

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3.0 out of 5 stars Gets better as you read on.
I found Jim White's book rather clichéd and predictable. I began to wonder if it would have made a better read if he'd used even more `poetic license.' For that reason the book is not as good as it could have been but readable all the same.

The book made some good observations, however, about youth football in Britain although, in my experience, the...
Published on 14 Oct 2008 by Willy Mismot


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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You may well recognise yourself here, 1 Nov 2007
By 
russell clarke "stipesdoppleganger" (halifax, west yorks) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
I admit I've done it. I ,ve stood on a touchline and shouted as my progeny has run up and down a lumpy field . "Track back", "Concentrate" "Man On", "For gods sake stop calling the ref a W***er and let me do it". All the time I was doing this I was fully cognisant that I was being every bit as idiotic as the other parents screaming their sagacious advice though I don't think I ever descended to the level of the misanthropic sack of s**t who kept advising his lad to "nobble him son".
Jim White would undoubtedly think I was a fool and of course he would be right. This book is an account of a season spent in charge of Northmeadow Youth under 14,s .White has coached the team for six years and his son is in the team .This immediately puts him offside with me as my afore mentioned progeny fell foul of a manager who played his son ( A gangling clueless lad who clearly didn't want to be there)while better players , including my son languished on the touchline much of the time . It's quickly clear though that White , who is also a football reporter for the "Telegraph", is a far more self aware self decrepitating individual than the boss of that team .He calls himself "The part on the sidelines".
So while he obsesses over the performance of the team and their on-going battle against relegation he can still take time to spot the idiosyncrasies of others around him and the minutiae involved in playing football at this level while pertinently realising his own failings .This makes You'll Win Nothing With Kids( Taken from Alan Hansen's infamous remark about a youthful Manchester United side......they won the league that year) a very amusing book and at times an oddly touching one. There is plenty of conflict , especially when the club want to buy a new kettle, plenty of strife -dog turds on the pitch seem to be a constant bane of the low level football fraternity- yet the most salient edge to this book is the bond between father and son as they endeavour to improve the team.
Talking of improving the team White uses his connections within the game to raid the professional arena for advice , chatting to amongst others Brain McClair ,Jose Mourinho( Working with kids is "The purest kind of football work") ,Ron Atkinson, and Bobby Robson .Their advice is surprisingly helpful too as the team go on an extended cup run .He also questions the motives of anyone taking up a coaching role in kids football .Is it an ego thing or a genuine altruistic desire to improve the lives of others?
Anyone who has watched boys football or even more pertinently had their offspring play at that level will recognise the scenarios and characters that imbibe this book with so much colour . Hopefully it may also help one or two recognise how unacceptable and self defeating their touchline ranting is......but I wouldn't bet on it.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football, 9 Nov 2007
By 
R. ELDRIDGE - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
A wonderful book. So funny you will laugh out loud, accurate to the point of seeing yourself in many of the pages, so moving in places that you will consider what you say next time your lad takes puts on his boots. Brilliant.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars funny... with some important messages for over-bearing parents, 13 Oct 2007
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
Stuck in an airport I raced through this book - a good read. It's funny as the author describes many scenes i've seen at junior football and also quite moving. But more importantly there are sections of this book that should be required reading for all parents (especially the mouthy ones) of kids who play football, particularly for those who despair and rant at goalkeepers.

And I played football against Jim White. And I can confirm, as he admits in his book, he wasn't very good!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic read, 20 July 2008
By 
A. Reeves - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
I was briefly tempted to give this book only 4 stars because, in order to really, really appreciate where it is coming from, I think you also need to be a football dad and that seems a bit limiting. But, on reflection, that's harsh given that it is probably only football dads who would buy the book anyway.

If you are a football dad, however, you should definitely hit it off with the book and the story. The full range of characters is there: the officious ref ("the prat in black") who can make even the most even-tempered middle class parent lose his cool, the desperate dad, the obnoxious, pushy mum who doesn't mind who she upsets as long as her (presumably) putrid offspring gets more gametime, the dedicated / obsessive chairman, the good players and the not-so-good, the early bloomer who hasn't quite fuflfilled that esrly potential (although in this case "Lee" does seem to have been unfairly struck with injuries).

You'll probably also recognise a lot of the settings: the fight between parents, dog sh*te on the pitch, aggrieved locals etc etc. I was particularly taken with the description of parents "settling in for the long haul" at the start of a tournament day.

It jusy goes to show that what we see at our kids' football is probably universal. Having said that, I don't think I've ever seen any same sex partners watching the footy in my neck of the woods!
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars its a laugh, 11 Oct 2007
By 
David Rundle (Oxfordshire) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
Jim ends his book with this quote from his son which sums up the book.
I am biased because I am a fellow manager in the same city football club. I can assure all readers that the events in the book are true- as a post post script Jim is now not allowed to resign as Chairman unless this book drops out of the top 1000 amazon list so keep on buying it!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Only Mad People Become Kids Football Team Coaches, 23 Jan 2010
... And I did it too.
This book explains the year in a life of a coach of a kids team.
If you have ever done it you will laugh knowingly at the authors comments about the over-competitve parents, the rows when you have to rest a good player, the scraps about which boy will be in which team, the endless committee meetings that always go on for hours longer than planned, the ungrateful parents, the parents who only communicate by email, the parents who cannot read a map to get to the game and phone you up for directions anyway - even though you gave the full grid references, postcodes and enough co-ordinates for a special forces mission.
Oh, and the politics of boys club team management.
Yes, the sheer nuttiness of it all is all in this book.
Managing a boys team could be the most stressful thing you may ever do - up there with divorce and moving house, and just behind bereavement - and this book will be enjoyed by anyone who has done it.
Just wish I had thought to write it first.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's not just about the football, 8 Mar 2008
By 
Dales (Versoix, Switzerland) - See all my reviews
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
I loved this book, the on-going story of a man managing a junior football team is intertwined around his feelings about his son growing up and the effect this has on their relationship. I thought there was a great mix of humour, intersting insights from ex-players and just a tiny hint of melancholy.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for any kids football manager!, 23 Jan 2008
By 
D. Wood "Dave Wood" (Oxon.) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
Yes, you! The one that stood still while the other dad's (mum's?) took a step backwards! Or was that a leap!

Having been drawn into the game in the same way as Jim (aren't we all?), and with no previous footballing experience, I can say his observations and comments are spot on. Jim's book captures the bitter-sweet experience of managing a team, and it is a good laugh to boot!
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly funny and moving, 17 Sep 2007
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
This book is a must-read for anyone who's ever played football as a kid, or who has a kid who plays football.
Laugh out loud funny at times, and eye-dabbingly moving at others, it'll do for soccer dads what Fever Pitch did for soccer fans.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it, 25 Jan 2008
This review is from: You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football (Hardcover)
I coach under 12s, including my son of course, and found it very reassuring and funny to read so many things I went through.
Excellent message for some coaches and parents who may have lost the plot about why kids play football
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You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football
You'll Win Nothing with Kids: Fathers, Sons and Football by Jim White (Hardcover - 30 Aug 2007)
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