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284 of 335 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO READ NOW!!
I'm finding it hard to write this review.. I'm stopping and starting..but surfice to say I absolutely loved this trilogy of books 5 stars plus to all of them..I finished Fifty shades freed about half an hour ago and just sat looking at the my iPad screen for 10 minutes..I like a lot of readers who take time write reviews am an avid reader..cram as many in a week as I can...
Published on 29 Mar. 2012 by bliz

versus
697 of 758 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars 50 Reasons to buy a Thesaurus.
Thankfully I have now crawled to the end of this series. Amongst the poverty of plot, paucity of writing & preposterous sex scenes I found I had actually learned a few things:

A) Repetition, repetition, repetition. I could probably write a composite Ana/Christian love scene, ending with the requisite shattering, but I couldn't actually pick out a single love...
Published on 27 Jun. 2012 by beakerj


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697 of 758 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars 50 Reasons to buy a Thesaurus., 27 Jun. 2012
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Thankfully I have now crawled to the end of this series. Amongst the poverty of plot, paucity of writing & preposterous sex scenes I found I had actually learned a few things:

A) Repetition, repetition, repetition. I could probably write a composite Ana/Christian love scene, ending with the requisite shattering, but I couldn't actually pick out a single love scene from the books to describe to you. Who knew sex scenes could be the dullest part of an erotic novel?

B) I've been doing kissing ALL wrong. I have never had to push both of my hands into my husband's hair in order to accurately position our lips together. Stupid me! I've just been going on the fact that they're conveniently located about 3/4 of an inch under his nose.

C) Virgins can have multiple orgasms immediately on embarking on a sex life, but they cannot use the word vagina, or penis. These are obviously filthy terms and have no place whatsoever in a book about deviant sexual desires.

D )Honeymoon cystitis is obviously no problem for Ana's seemingly indestructible vagina - sorry, 'sex'.

E) A sensible point can be made in a bad trilogy about the actual nature of the BDSM 'relationship' between an older woman and an underage boy.

F) Biting your lip makes billionaires want to spank you.

G) I'll no longer think of the happy trail as the path to the nearest shop selling chocolate.

H) Parts of the UK are suffering a thesaurus shortage. I didn't need one to write this review.

I) I *quite liked* the stupid emails, which has now destroyed all credibility I may have had as a reviewer.

J) The most exciting thing about these novels was reading them under the covers at night on my smartphone.

Oh E.L. James...how I wish you'd read some P.D. James.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Rubbish, 15 Oct. 2012
Really, what a load of rubbish, her inner voice drove me mad. This book will send the wrong message to men and women alike, this is not what real life and partnership is about.
I'm sorry I bought it.
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133 of 150 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Great as fire kindle, not for my kindle!, 26 July 2012
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I thoroughly agree with other comments and I also skipped past the sex scenes as they were the dullest part of this (apparantely) fruity read.

The repetition was unbelievably present and I can only assume that E.L James's manuscripts were passed for print by a literary editor with the experience, intellect and job commitment as Ana Steele/Gray - I mean, could you spend THAT long at work emailing your husband and get any work done? No wonder she had to take her manuscripts on honeymoon. She's the most well-read person Christian Gray knows he says, but the only two books made reference to are Tess and "the complete works of Charles Dickens" - very vague...read any Dickens have you Ms E L James?

I don't know how Ana can walk/not have cystitis but her ability to shatter in a million pieces when that familiar tightening comes is uncanny, after she's drank him in of course, with inner goddess doing pirouettes, and quite frankly the fandango as the sub-conscious peers over the dog eared Jayne Eyre...oh bore off!!

I'll summarize this edition and cash and time can be saved by all...

sex, sex, sex....I love you, I love you...sex, sex, sex...don't leave me, I won't/don't leave me/I won't...sex, sex, sex with some lavish spending along the way in the pervy bodyguard continually going out and buying fresh knickers.

By half way I just wanted them to Charlie Tango right off - the lot of them. I'm now just left wanting those hours of my life back that I wasted on this utter rubbish!
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44 of 50 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of time and money, 8 Aug. 2012
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This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
Having seen this trilogy at the top of the best seller list and unfortunately NOT having read any of the reviews I foolishly bought it from Amazon - the books were on offer. Like all other reviewers I found them a complete load of drivel. Yes I have read all three waiting for the plot to get going and the characters to be real. They are extremely poorly written, grammatically dreadful and extremely repetitive - do pregnant women actually enjoy being beaten!!!!!!!

Laters babe!
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56 of 64 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worst writer of our time, 3 July 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
I don't like to do negative reviews, but after being tortured reading this trilogy, I feel my brain has been smacked by the twitching palm, without any pleasure element.

I feel sad for those that haven't read great books for comparison. A bit like Ana's sex life.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars OH CHRISTIAN, PLEASE!, 21 Jun. 2012
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Mr (WOLVERHAMPTON, United Kingdom) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
OH CHRISTIAN, PLEASE!

I succumbed to the viral marketing and read the Fifty Shades trilogy. After a promising start to the trilogy, I was intrigued by the characters and their experiences. E L James takes this smouldering rogue, this anti-Mr Darcy and unravels him to reveal nothing but a sad, insecure, pitiful man. Subsequently, the plot is dashed to pieces. "Freed" is the worst instalment of the trilogy.

Any merit the characters had in the beginning steadily dissolve amid Ana's repetitive internal dialogue. The Punch-and-Judy-style conversations between Ana and Christian is relentless: "are you smirking at me Mr Grey?", "Don't bite that lip, Mrs Grey"... I was mildly amused when Christian marks Ana on their honeymoon as this is part of his nature after all and I'm not convinced that Christian needed to be "cured". We liked him dangerous and naughty. His remorse will give way to his inner Dom eventually and I don't believe in the Happily-Ever-After ending for a minute.

Reading "Darker", I cringed when Christian appeared to tame a deranged Leila like a rabid dog. Also the way that Christian was ready to sub for Anastasia like a malfunctioning robot. There was so much James could have achieved here yet she retreats into the most obvious of clichés in regards to the correlation between Grey, "the crack whore"/his biological mother, and his Dom tendencies. He likes to whip/spank/cane these brunettes because they all remind him of his loathed mother. By the end of the trilogy I was left feeling nothing but indifference for Ana and Christian. The villain (Hyde) is barely worth a mention here.

Maybe the publisher urged James to write a trilogy. Maybe fans e-mailed her with their ideas, and she simply copied-pasted them into the story. In desperate need of a thorough editing, these books were rushed and the trilogy should have been incorporated into a single publication. I refuse to read the next instalment, written from Christian's perspective. In any case, E L James is laughing all the way to the bank.
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46 of 53 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not a good book for virgins, 1 Aug. 2012
After sales of Ann Summers toys going through the roof and stupid women wishing that their husband was Mr Gray, I had a feeling that I might be disappointed and yes I was right. I have to say that Mr Gray is a complete knob and Ana needs to see a therapist.No I wont be reading 2 & 3. not sure if my "sex" could take all the excitement and the anticipation.my husband is also gutted I didn't jump his bones. sorry husband
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13 of 15 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Oh my ..., 30 July 2012
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This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
Well, what can you say about these books? Quite a lot, but it might be the same thing over, and over, and over again. To say the least, each book was repetitive on a MASSIVE scale.

Initially, I read the first book with genuine interest, as i wanted to know what all the hype was about. The writing was quite poor, like everyone else had mentioned before I started to read it, but once you try and get past that, I thought the story wasn't too bad. When I say this, though, I mean the story beyond all the monotonous sex scenes. It was as if I had to weave through them all to reach anything remotely interesting.

I wasn't quite sure about leaving a review, as I only made to the start of the third one before I thought, 'forget it'. It had just gotten THAT boring. I made it 4% into the third book, and they'd already had 'mind-blowing' sex twice. I just couldn't be bothered with it anymore. WHAT MORE CAN YOU WRITE ABOUT SEX? And for God's sake, what was with the 'foil packets' appearing wherever they went? That was just one of the very repetitive moments in the series. Yes, we know he carries them around, please don't tell us at EVERY oppertunity.

Saying this, though, I didn't mind the first book, despite the same phrases appearing constantly. But, unfortunately, I had to charge my way through the second book, skipping through the 'erotic' scenes, as they were pretty pointless, and unrealistic ... or Ana isn't a human being, and consecutive orgasms are natural for her species.

The main reason why I stopped reading the final book was simply because I didn't care enough about the characters to continue. Usually, when reading a book, I find a connection with the characters, and therefore feel more immersed within the story. I didn't find that in this series. The characters were bland and quite lifeless. They could have easily been robots, programmed to have sex constantly. It just wasn't interesting to read.

So, whether this review can count is up to you, as a reader. But, judging by the other reviews, I think I'm with the majority on this one.

One tip for E L James? MODERATION isn't a bad thing.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I must be masochistic for reading this., 10 July 2012
This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
Basically, couple gets married, has honeymoon, have sex that leaves marks on woman, someone is out to harm them, a pregnancy occurs, man doesn't want baby, they live happily ever after...... This is breaking dawn plus the sex minus the vampires. But Breaking Dawn is actually BETTER (and believe me, that's saying something).

This book is possibly marginally better than the first 2, it is still a rather dreadful book with repetitive rubbish start to finish. And whereas there is a hint of a story line, it is rather sloppy and badly put together.

And no doubt Ana and Christian referring to each other as "mr/mrs Grey" has knocked the "inner goddess" off the top spot as the most annoying part of the book. Made me want to tear my hair out every time I read it (which was about 5 times every page.)

Some elements of the novel are actually quite disturbing- such as the orgasm denial scene. I felt like I was reading a book about abuse at this point. And Christian flogging Anas pregnant stomach? Really? Ladies, if that turns you on I think you may need help. Nothing romantic or "hot" about that scene at all.

I nearly didn't finish this book, after the first 100 pages it was very hard to carry on. The same thing happened over and over- Ana and Christian fight, they make up, they have sex. Ana bites her lip....repeat repeat. This book seemed like it was written by a 13 year old, who knew nothing about sex, BDSM or even relationships. In the real world, love cannot always change a person. And men are not ready for "round 2" just 30 seconds after round 1. And women do not orgasm 10 times a day just from Christian holding her hand.

And as for the other story line with Jack, isn't it a coincidence that he worked at the same place Ana did AND lived with Christian in Detroit. Convenient!!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Stop after the first book!, 2 Aug. 2012
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This review is from: Fifty Shades Freed (Paperback)
Well it has been 3 weeks since I first started reading this book and I am still only halfway through. This is highly unusual for me, usally taking 2 or 3 days to read a good book.

However, this book is extremely poor. The story is going on needlessly with no real plot. The author could easily have finished the story in one or two books maximum. I enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey, as it was unlike anything that I had ever read before, but after moving on to the second book, I could clearly see that this was actually a rather poor story.

I found it hard to get stuck into the second book but the third one is dire. The repetition of phrases and words throughout the series gets very annoying by this point and all the conversations between the couple calling eachother 'Mrs Grey' and 'Mr Grey' also infuriate me.

In short, do not waste your time with this book. I will continue to read it for a sense of completion but I estimate that I'll still be reading it in 3 months time having completed 20 other books in between!
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Fifty Shades Freed
Fifty Shades Freed by E L James (Paperback - 26 April 2012)
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