Customer Reviews

How to Instantly Connect With Anyone: 96 All-new Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

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Is it manipulative to speak to others in a way you know will please them? Purists of the to-thine-own-self-be-true school may think so, but the people on the receiving end of your courtesy, deference and regard will not. Communications consultant Leil Lowndes has assembled 96 techniques you can use to make others feel good about you - often by making them feel good about themselves. These techniques work best, of course, when applied with sincerity and not phony zeal. Your purpose is not to flatter people, but to engender their positive regard. Scheming? Calculating? That's up to you to decide. Although you may not choose to follow Lowndes' sometimes boundary-testing advice to the letter, getAbstract recommends her fun book to anyone who needs a boost in getting along well with others. So unless you are already a bon vivant - or, conversely, a hermit - this book is for you.

The first 45 or so "little tricks" are actually quite interesting! Handshake tips and ways to kindle conversation are always fun to read about. About halfway through the book, the author has clearly run out of ideas and is using "Make sure you say your phone number at the start and end of your voice message, that way your recipient doesn't have to rush to find a pen" as a way to connect with people. I can't see it making a huge difference in my life.

If like me you suffer from crushing bouts of self doubt every time you find yourself in a new social group, forced to mingle with people you don't know and try to produce witty repartee, then welcome to the future my tragic little soul mate. This lexicon of linguistic alliteration has literally transformed my life. I now attend parties almost every week and have started to gatecrash dull business seminars just to practice my new found art and to keep my cornucopia of confidence in constant good order. If I had a minor criticism it would be with the Author's own lack of confidence to go for the big 100 great ideas. I mean 96... what's that all about? Although it is at least a step in the right direction after "How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks For Big Success In Relationships". Another couple of weeks of hardcore networking and I'll be ready for phase II, "Complaining face to face"... yikes!!

I was hoping for some profound insights from this book about relationships, rapport or friendship making. What I encountered was a list of shallow "tricks", as Leil calls them, to fill in inadequacies of open, honest communication.

"Keep a kiddie phone by your real phone" to pretend there's another caller waiting - seriously?

I musch prefer the mantra "Say what you mean, and mean what you say" - don't skirt about with silly little tricks and lies (yes, lies) about what you're doing..

Deeply dissapointing. Avoid.