158 of 163 people found the following review helpful:
Excellent view on handling fear
This book is about the fears that we all have in our lives to some degree. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of decisions. Fear of aging, of loss or of helplessness.
The books basic premise is, that your aim should not be to get rid of your fears. You should feel your fear, but not let it stop you from doing things you really want to do.
23 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
Not quite the cure
On first sight this book looks promising, it speaks of changing the way you look at life and tells you how to re-programme yourself.
However, being a very introverted person myself, I feel I need some practical tasks to do to help me on the right path, rather than just sentences to repeat to myself, and reading examples of other peoples problems.
This book is about the fears that we all have in our lives to some degree. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of decisions. Fear of aging, of loss or of helplessness.
The books basic premise is, that your aim should not be to get rid of your fears. You should feel your fear, but not let it stop you from doing things you really want to do.
The book describes three levels of fear. The first level is the actual event that you fear - say losing you job. The second level is the deeper fear, triggered by the first level - eg. rejection (if being fired would make you feel rejected). Beneath that on the third level there's only one fear: The fear that you won't be able to cope. If you knew in advance that you could take it, there would be nothing to be afraid of. So all fear reduces to fear of not being able to cope.
This is interesting, because this means that the best way to handle your fear, isn't to make your life safer - it's to increase your abilities, or your faith in your abilities. The more you know you can handle, the less reason there is to fear.
This point is illustrated with several stories of people who have diminished their lives time and again, to keep safe. This doesn't reduce fear, quite the contrary, these people lived in perpetual fear. When some catastrophic event interfered with their reduced existence (say the death of a spouse), some of these people found that they were forced to reconnect with life, and that they could cope. And this reduced their fear.
The book also emphasizes positivity as a way to reduce fear. The book argues that you need to constantly train your positive thinking, or you'll revert to negative thinking.
There's also an excellent chapter on decision making, which argues that many of us see a decision making process mostly in the light of what we'll lose or risk in each alternative before us. To reduce the fear (or discomfort) of making a decision, we should realize that all options are good, and that no mater what we choose, it's still up to us to make it work.
The book contains many illustrative stories and exercises you can try yourself. I found it informative, entertaining and thought-provoking, and I recommend this book to anyone interested in the mechanisms that hold people back from growth and change.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
I had heard of this book often enough, but never read it. As they say when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear. If you are really struggling with your life this book will give you heart, if you have been working on yourself it will remind you of all that you have learnt and prompt you to keep it up. So what is it all about? Firstly, it points out that everybody gets fearful, but that some people rise to the challenges they face more positively than others and so succeed in their lives, while others just seem to shrink, becoming more and more overwhelmed by everything. This book shows you how to turn your thoughts around to the positive, to switch off your inner nag and just get on with life. It isn't corny, it isn't gimmicky, but it is truly uplifting and calming, and it works. Last night my dishwasher broke and rather than get into a stew about finding the time to get it repaired and the expense etc as I would have done I just remembered ' I'll handle it' and got it sorted. This is a fairly trivial example, but those of us who are prone to worry and anxiety, are easily overwound by the most mundane things, so it is so good to have some tools to get life into the right perspective.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
This is the sort of book that friends recommend saying things like, "It changed my life!". This was how I came to read 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway'. I was at a very low ebb when a friend suggested I read it, and I will always be grateful to her. Since I read the book, I've recommended it to at least one other friend whose life has changed drastically as a result. I hope that it will change your life for the better too.
The basic message Susan Jeffers is putting across is that the big fear underlying all the little fears we have is 'I won't be able to handle it if ... happens'. She gently explores fears, and encourages you to accept that fear is OK, perfectly normal, and despite the fear, you CAN handle it! So often our fears prevent us from moving on but we can overcome them and learn to listen to our 'Higher Self', rather than that nagging, criticising little voice most of us have as a constant companion.
I first read it 6 months ago, but this is the sort of book that you keep picking up as life throws things at you. I only have to find the chapter that goes with my current situation and I can find the strength to deal with it.
There is so much in this book that a review can scarcely do it justice - I chose to write this review because I would like others to get the benefit from the book that I did.
After reading 'Feel the Fear...' I also read another book by Susan Jeffers, 'End the Struggle and Dance with Life'. I would say that the two complement each other perfectly, and have definitely lead me to a substantial change in my attitude to life.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
As I embarked on my re-reading of Feel The Fear... I realised that the concept I always quote as the book's message is actually only chapter one! That basic principle states that it doesn't matter what happens to you in your life - what matters is how you handle it. Having now read all the way through again, I've reminded myself that every one of the 12 chapters presents a key principle.
Some of the principles covered are: procrastination (your fear won't go away if all you do is wait), taking responsibility for your life, dealing with others who don't want you to grow, achieving balance, creating meaning and purpose..... These are all, of course, themes you'll find in other self-development books, but I consider Feel The Fear... to be the mother of all those other books! Plus Susan Jeffers writes with wonderfully down-to-earth clarity and simplicity.
You'll probably know from the title alone whether this book appeals to you or not. For me it contains timeless wisdom, worth returning to again and again. So if you've read this before and forgotten how fabulous it is, give it another read. And if you've not had the Jeffers experience yet, well why not feel the fear and do it anyway?!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
My doctor recommended this book to me a few years ago to help me deal with depression and anxiety attacks. I never believed a book could have such an influence on my life and change things so much. I don't know how many times I have read it now, but I know each time I feel really down I can reach for my "Bible" to pick me up again. I now own about 7 of Susan's books and find them all inspirational. I also check out her website everyday for the quotes and affirmations. I would strongly recommend that everyone reads this book - it positively fantastic!!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Even if you're unaware of it, fear, at some level, is paralysing you. This book will increase your awareness of where and how fear has a hold of you, and it will provide the tools to overcome it. The best one for me was instilling an attitude that, no matter what comes my way, "I'll handle it".
I bought a copy for my Mum, who was going through a particularly hard time, and she loved it. She has since bought just about everything else Susan Jeffers has written and her confidence has soared.
Just like 'How to Win Friends & Influence People', 'Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway' is one of those phrases that has become part of the English langauge with many people being unaware that it comes from the book. This is a great book for overcoming any sense you may have of being overwhelmed by life events - there is a solution. I wasn't too keen on the 'love yourself/surround yourself with positive energy' theme, but that is in no way a reason not to buy this book.
If your self-esteem has taken a bit of a knock, this book can get you back on top of things again. If, like many people, you know you appear outwardly confident; but deep down you know you lack a certain inner confidence that truly makes you feel at ease, then you should read this book.
Be honest with yourself, if there is something in your life that gives you that sinking feeling in your stomach, this book can make it go away.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Unlike many of the reviewers, I wasn't at rock bottom when I read this book. I was, however, unhappy with my career and I had let it affect other areas of my life so that I generally felt dissatisfied and depressed. A friend mentioned "Feel the Fear" to me and I thought I'd give it a go. The interesting thing is that I didn't really think of myself as "afraid" of anything before I read the book. Then I realised that fear of failure had actually affected my life and career quite substantially - I just didn't commit 100% to anything for fear of it failing, I always kept myself a little detached from big decisions or projects which involved me striking out on my own. Well the first step in fixing a problem is to realise it's there in the first place! I can't say yet whether Susan Jeffers has changed my life, but I have bought the companion book "Feel the Fear and Beyond" and am working through the exercises in it right now. And I'm feeling pretty optimistic about the outcome!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
My best friend had just committed suicide, my abusive girlfriend (suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder) and I had separated under the ugliest of circumstances, I was being sued, and if that was enough to cope with, my house was repossessed by the building society. I had always been a sanguine, and although I positively hate the expression, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. All of a sudden these 'life events' hit me from all directions and sent me spinning off into an unfamiliar dimension.
I lost the plot for a while and all areas of my life suffered immensely. I was finding it difficult to locate a simple philosophy that might enable me to gain some control over my life. It was quite be accident that I came across this book. I saw it peeping out of a shop window as I headed to work. My first impression of the book judging by the title was that it was another American self-help book, designed to help lardy-arsed Yanks get to grips with their obesity, or something of a familiar vein. I was feeling particularly cynical and almost didn't bother buying it, dismissing it as a crutch for emotionally weak people. I think my inner-voice cried out and pleaded with me to try something, whatever it was. I was desperate; I was close to the edge and had often considered a more 'permanent' solution for all of my problems.
I had nothing less to lose and was feeling pretty sorry for myself before I started to read. If there ever was a book that changed my life it was this one. I think that I had to hit the low that I was did to subsequently be able to appreciate life for what it is and how it can be. This book basically teaches us that we are all responsible for our lives and that it is only a matter of applying a consistent, and moreover healthy/productive, attitude.
I am now in total control of my life and this book was the catalyst that gave me an essential boost in the right direction. My personal life, business and general outlook on life have changed for the better and I now look forward to all of the challenges that life might present. It really was a great help from the first page. Give it a whirl, you to will benefit from realising that you can handle anything in life, and once you cross that bridge there's no looking back (apart from when one is writing the occasional book review.)
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
If you are constantly feeling down or anxious about aspects of your life then this book is an absolute must. I read this book, and at first I thought it would have been like all of the other self-help books that are on the market..you know the ones that you start reading and then give up on. Well this book, i promise you cannot put down once you have started, as there is a bit of something in the book for everybody! I finished the book quite quickly, as you do get quite absorbed in it. I then felt so fresh about life as a whole, and that i could face anything that life threw at me. In hindsight I have infact always felt fear in every situation in which I felt uncomfortable and it took this book to make me realise this, and to keep doing it!! I felt the fear and did it anyway" - It's a saying that will never go away....and it works - everytime in all situations. I passed this book to a friend, who I observed to be a very depressed person, and she is now going to buy the book herself!!- Thank you Susan Jeffers....you have changed alot of lives!!!
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Fear is such a big word. Isn't it amazing how four little letters making up a tiny little word can have enough impact to paralyze us into non-action?
If you are anything like me, i.e. human - I imagine that for years the voice inside your head has been telling you - "You can't do it because..." then suddenly you receive a gift beyond all measure - you are fortunate enough to discover Susan Jeffers and her astonishing book "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" Then, if you are anything like me, after reading it, your jaw drops, you realize you have been deluding yourself all this time and you start to know that "You can do it because..."
What happened? Where did the shift begin? It began with dropping an apostrophe and a "t". Changing a "can't" into a "can".
Adopting Susan Jeffers wonderful affirmation "I'll handle it" is an enormous step in the right direction. We all postpone action and wait for the right time to do something and that is one of the biggest reasons we get nowhere fast - you know the one; postponing action normally leads to not bothering at all! Then we concoct all manner of excuses (or justified reasons as we let ourselves believe) for why we haven't taken action, in order to make ourselves right.
Think back to when you first learnt to ride a bicycle - when someone was clinging to your shoulder you had enormous fear and didn't really want to be let free. Then suddenly, you were free, riding the bike on your own and the fear vanished, the elation was tremendous and off you went alone. Then, you fell, hurt yourself and back came the fear. Do you give up or do you get back on and try again? If someone whispered the words "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" you might summon the courage to get straight back to it - if you let your mind take over you could easily persuade yourself that it was too bigger risk, you might get hurt - no I think I'll give bicycles a miss.
See how easy it is to realize the truth - fear is always going to be there, you can't eliminate it; you simply need to have faith and trust that you can do it; you can achieve what you want to and if you don't - is it really the end of the world? You could try something else!
Here is a super excerpt from the book:
"Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness"
If you try something and fail that is far better than not trying at all and then wondering "What if..." Trying is part of life, so is fear; the great people of the world didn't become great by allowing fear to stop them and they don't have any more resistance to fear than anyone else, they simply felt the fear and did it anyway!
Mother Teresa once said "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle"
Susan Jeffers goes a stage further and tells us why and how.
I thoroughly recommend this book to you and if you have any doubts that it will help you, try the affirmation "I'll handle it" even if only for a day and see what a change it brings to your life.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
Amazon Home
