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on 13 May 2002
This was the first book to catch my eye in the bookstore when I found myself alone after over 20 yrs. of marriage and was utterly devestated.
It became my 'bible', beside my bed. I highlighted all the bits about how to create happiness in your life, reread them constantly.
Alot of the ideas about being responsible for creating your own happiness were new to me and I didn't immediately understand, it took some time. The chapters on 'what went wrong' were too painful initially, but the right time came and then they made sense too. The chapters on beginning a new relationship are as yet untested!
Since that time, over 2 yrs. ago, I've gone on to read books going into much greater depth on these issues, but this first one that I turned to, and still turn to, has a special place.
It was the turning point for me to look at my life in a completely different way, at what is important for me and what my values are(not my x partner's-not always that easy to work out after a long relationship).
I highly recommend this book, it covers a wide area, from before the break-up, to step-families in the new relationship; so I think that many people would want to expand their reading after this book. But it certainly inspired me to believe that there is a future. If your partner has left, or you have left them, you can make a good life; this book can certainly set you on the path.
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on 9 October 2001
Bought this book because I wanted a bit of a guide on how to deal with my two children after my husband and I divorced. He has moved about 200 miles away and I wanted some hints on how to "do it right" in relation to them being brought up in a newly single parent family. The book covers many aspects of moving on - The end of a relationship/Coming to terms with loss/What went wrong/The children/New social life/the introduction of a new partner ..... It explains how children of different ages view divorce and separation, and for those of you who do not have children I would still recommend it as it goes through many "relationship types" and how to avoid making the same mistakes again.
It is in my handbag and if I come across a problem I refer to it and it gives me confidence, comfort and courage to soldier on!
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on 18 December 1999
There are sections on whether you really want to seperate, the grief process, becoming independent successfully and starting a new relationship. The section on 'What went wrong' really struck a chord. Best of all, the book is full of examples of real people who have gone through the pain and come out the other end. The section on self confidence was not too original but overall, this is a good read if you're still going through the mill.
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on 15 February 2002
I bought this book because I wanted to know that all my feelings were 'normal'. Sarah Litvinoff tells us that all those 'pinball emotions' are just that: normal!
This book gave me a lot of strength during a particularly devastating time - I thoroughly recommend it.
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on 4 January 2010
Do yourself a favour and read it. It will enlighten you on so many aspects and will enrich your life. I have been recommending this book since it helped me get over a really difficult relationship in 1994. So many of my friends & colleagues have benefitted from this book. Best of all, Sarah Litvinoff writes in an easy to understand way: there's no unnecessary jargon nor is the text oversimplified. Well-balanced and not at all preachy, evangelical or patronising. Whether it's a straight, gay or bi relationship you're coming out of, you will gain so much from this book.
Good luck and I hope it helps you on your journey.
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on 31 March 2011
I downloaded this as a kindle book, and found it quite reassuring given the stage in life that I'm currently at. I'm having counselling at the moment and it's helped to put some of the issues that I've been discussing into much needed context. There are many real world examples used (obviously with names changes) to illustrate almost every point made. It may be a relatively quick read, but I can see myself going through it again soon too.

The only minor comment regarding the Kindle version, is that some of the formatting around the task sections is a little awry but that doesn't detract from its' usefulness!
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on 2 December 2009
This book is an excellent buy, wish I'd knowing about it earlier, before I'd split up. But hey ho onwards & upwards thanks to pointers & sugestion within this book. I reccommend everyone who's starting again to read this.
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on 29 June 2000
I kept asking myself how could I go on without my love and this showed me the stages relationships move through and how not to repeat the same mistakes. Only when I read this book did I start to come to terms with being dumped - my loneliness, betrayal, lack of confidence and lack of trust. It gave me something to build on. An excellent buy.
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on 25 August 2015
Very good book and so perceptive in its observations about people and how they interact. Has lots of stories of relationships and suggestions as to why they did or did not work out. I found this quite helpful. I found that I dipped into it often and went back on chapters I had already read. Definitely worth buying.
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on 9 October 2012
I've split with my fience and feel confused angry cos she left worried about her and shock. I got this book cos now I can use this single time to sort issues out I'm tired of having relationships break down after a year and its happened three times in a row now. Its helping to see the bigger picture and how breaking up affects both parties. It reads well is easy to follow iv only just started it but noticed tasks in it which I like Ie remember this time could you have...whatever. I like thus cos you can learn from your past exp. This makes the past or present experience a valuable learning tool as opposed to something to feel ashamed or sad about. Least I can use the pain to help me. I would reccommend this book.
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