on 16 February 2014
I stumbled upon the “No-Cry sleep solution for babies” like many other parents when my sleep depravation started to have bad consequences on my daily mood and my ability to gently care for my child.
My wife and myself knew, that we wanted a loving sleep teaching for our kids and that we didn’t want them to fall asleep while crying. When we found Elizabeth Pantley’s book, it was like a breath of fresh air in our daily exhausted routine. This book was exactly what we had been looking for. A book that understands the troubles in which parents can be when their kids don’t sleep, a book where there is no judgment for parental behaviour once sleep lacks, a book that acknowledges that every child is unique and different and that his needs to fall asleep vary. This book also emphasizes on the fact that sleep education is a fundamental part of children’s education and that it should be considered as such. Hence it means that this takes time, consistency and efforts and that no short-term solution can bring success to the child.
The various proposed solutions are like a toolbox where the parents can choose which tool best applies to their child. Some of them will work, some of them won’t, but Elizabeth Pantley, who uses comforting words to the parents, understands all this. This gave us a lot of assertiveness to approach our children’s sleep.
With the second baby, I thought I could use the techniques I learned with the first one. Well I was mistaking! I pulled the book out of its shelf and it became my daily book for several weeks, again! Like I said, every child is different and needs different approaches. One thing is always the same: Every child needs his parents to learn how to sleep on his own and a sane sleep is the key for a peaceful life. If you aren’t a sleep expert and want to bring to your child this peaceful start in life without letting him cry, this book will definitely help you reach that goal !
on 31 January 2014
Our daughter woke every three hours until 3-4 months when it all went wrong and she started waking every 1-2 hours. Worse still she only slept on my breast and nothing else worked! We followed the advice in The No Cry Sleep Solution, we always had a good bedtime routine anyway, but I tried making her night feeds shorter, popping her off to see if she slept or rooted and recorded everything meticulously on the iPhone.... By 6 months I was a wreak! She was sleeping even less, waking every 30 minutes sometimes and I didn't know where I was! I have a low level of epilepsy, the exhaustion of the proceeding 6 months took its toll on me and I had a seizure, not a very bad one but still. So we got tough! The cot was moved into baby's own room, daddy took over bedtime, reading the stories, the cuddle and the put down, then leaving her awake in the cot. We have the video monitor and the clock to hand, plus our dinner to cook so we had a distraction... She cried 1hr 15 minutes the first night before sleeping, 30 mins the second night and 8 minutes the third night! When she woke in night Daddy went to her, cuddled her and put her back down, and after three nights she stopped waking up! And not just 6 hours or so like in the book, but really sleeping through - 10 hours or more! No more night feeds! So we carried on, during teething and illness we softened but now at 11 months she always goes to sleep herself usually without any tears, and sleeps 11-12 hours. The crying in the start was tough, but we had to prioritise my health as her daily carer and it has worked out better for all of us.
on 28 May 2013
I was surprised and overwhelmed by how many different opinions I had thrown at me by so many different people on the subject of my baby! I found I was bombarded and became confused very quickly. I disagreed with many opinions and felt they went against my instincts. I stumbled across this book by chance and am so pleased I bought it even though I have been criticised by several people for doing so! After all, why do you need a book when you have so many people around you to "help" (each offering a different opinion)? And why do you need to find a no-cry sleep solution? There's nothing wrong with letting baby cry a little - or a lot as was the case for us!
We haven't finished reading this book yet but in the first few pages the author reassures you that you are not alone in these experiences and emotions and that there are NOT only two methods, "cry it out" or "live with it". The author suggests you create sleep logs to identify your baby's sleep patterns; this task alone helped us identify some things we hadn't ever noticed. There are so many little bits of information that we found so useful, like studies that have been carried out, how much sleep your baby should be getting in 24 hours and the patterns of light and deep sleeps etc. There are of course also bits that we didn't find so useful and didn't want to follow, but the author makes it clear that there is no one way of doing things and that you must choose what is best for you and your baby, which is exactly what we have done. We may not have followed to the letter but we now have a much more informed opinion when it comes to all those suggestions from well-intentioned people and our baby boy is a very happy and contented child who knows his parents love him dearly.
on 16 November 2012
At my wits end I found Elizabeth Pantley and this book which gave me so many practical things i could do immediately to recover sanity and then to start on a longer term plan.
Wow. From feeling like a desperate maniac with all this 'bad mummy' noise in my head and feeling that the only solution to ever sleeping again was to go against my instincts and make my little boy 'cry it out' to 'train' him to sleep...I very quickly cheered up and felt more `powerful' or empowered to get on with it. Thank you Elizabeth for being so generous with your information and experience! I am now getting on with just being a wonderful mother in the way Elizabeth (and her research) proves it is possible to be, screening out the `noise' from the cry it out crowd.
Reading that Elizabeth spent the first year wearing her son Coleton and yet can still get him to sleep by himself now really encourages me to be able find the balance to have a co-sleeping, breastfeeding, yet independent sleeper! I look forward to what I now feel confident is there for us. I also don't feel pressured to do it all right now - the book has given me tips for what i can implement right now, today, that make small but stable differences to our sleep, while working towards the longer term sleep heaven that awaits us.
One of the biggest helps from the book has been the confidence booster it has given me to screen out the bad mummy `noise' and just get on with whatever works for us. If we're happy with it and it's working for now then don't beat myself up about it and just do the next thing when we can get to it. Being able to move forward with a positive vision of the future (and the confidence to say to myself that it's all ok actually, regardless of what all the 'experts' say) means I am ok with trying to implement a few things now without feeling it's all or nothing and that I `should' get on with the full plan and change our lives tomorrow! Step by step is ok - small changes can make a difference along the way and it's ok not to do it all at once.
Just to know that it's ok to follow my instincts and allow myself the recognition for the fact that I DO know a thing or two about raising a happy child even though I may not have letters after my name has been a real gift. Having more confidence to say no to the overwhelming 'cry it out' messages means also have more confidence in other areas about raising our little boy. It has been quite a profound impact to have found this book and the community of mums who are behind it and connected with it. I don't know any of them, but to know they are there and have struggled with what i am struggling with now has made a big difference to my entire outlook.
Thank you Elizabeth for the huge amount of work you put in to pull this community together and give us all a strong and credible foundation to say no to all those experts who tell us to go against our instincts.
I am now just enjoying this time of being a Mum a whole lot more as I am able to be easier on myself and screen out a lot of the 'should' messages and just do what feels right - it's so much more fun for everyone!
on 29 October 2012
Before we had kids, my husband and I assumed that our level of
education, desire for order, and commitment to consistency would help us
have babies who were on a good sleep routine. And, indeed, our firstborn
basically emerged from the womb sleeping through the night. However, our
second daughter, who just turned one this week, has been an entirely
different story. Ryan is a classic Dr. Sears "high need baby." She emerged
from the womb screaming for her mama, and hasn't really ever stopped! For
her first 8 weeks she lived in a sling on me during the day, and slept on me
at night. If we didn't do that, she screamed (and sometimes she screamed
anyway). No one else could even hold her, even my husband. Also, Ryan was
born having SIX HOUR awake stretches as a newborn! The girl just hated
sleep. I was elated when she learned to fall asleep nursing at 3 months
because it meant she could go to sleep without me holding her!
But, her night-waking and dependence on my breast soon grew old. I told
myself it was just a phase that she would outgrow. As she neared her first
birthday I thought I'd tried everything. I even resorted to homeopathic
"drugs" and melatonin (of course it didn't work). Ryan was getting up
between every 45-60 minutes - every night. I never had any free time, and
didn't sleep at night. Most of the people I'd talked to suggested that I
just put Ryan down and leave her til morning. I even got desperate enough to
contact an "infant sleep consultant" who basically told me that my baby was
smarter than me, was manipulating me, and that I needed to show her who was
boss. I knew from my experiences with Ryan that crying-it-out wasn't an
option. She cries so hard that she vomits! We were both a wreck if I tried
even five minutes of crying!
When a friend recommended this book I was skeptical. I've become very leery
of any parenting book that purports to have any "answers." But, since I was
at the end of my rope I got the book. I inhaled it in one afternoon. I finally felt like someone
understood. I immediately put the suggestions in your book to practice.
Within 2 days, Ryan was falling asleep without my boob in her mouth, and
with minimum crying. It's been a week and a half, and I am so proud of how
she's doing. She's gone from waking 10+ times a night to waking 2-4 times a
night. She even had an 8 hour stretch once (unfortunately between 6:30pm and
2am). I know we still have a long way to go, but I feel confident that I
know how to meet Ryan's needs AND help her learn to sleep on her own.
Instead of feeling like the world's worst mother, this book helped me see that
I'm actually doing a good job with this little high need girl.
on 3 August 2012
When my baby got to around four months old and could only fall asleep on the bottle I knew that at some point I was going to have to introduce some sort of sleep training. I spent quite some time researching the various methods that are popular with mum's today but I couldn't find anything that felt right! There was no way I was comfortable with "cry it out" and "controlled crying" wasn't right for me either. I toyed with the "pick up put down" method but still it didn't feel right and bedtimes where becoming a lengthy and anxious process for me and my baby!
I kept researching and then came across Pantley's "No cry sleep solution" I liked the principles, so promptly bought the book and I'm so glad i did! You can tell it's written from the heart and like me (and many others) the author was determined to find a more gentle approach in teaching our babies the art of sleep!
The book is written in an easy to read friendly style and includes enough detail on how babies sleep and baby devlepment to help the reader understand babies sleep cycles and why they awake - but it's concise enough that busy mums actually have time to read it!
One of the nice things about this book is that the author offers a multitude of suggestions and ideas and encourages the reader to work with the ones that feel right for them, their baby and their family. It very much encourages you to be confident that you know whats right for your baby and you can't hold or love your baby too much. This attitude has helped me be a happier more confident mum in all areas of parenting, not just sleep as it reassures you that you can use your own intuition and desires when comforting your own child without worrying about making a rod for your own back etc! and you CAN teach your baby to sleep alone without crying!
The book provides a simple log for you to complete and this was invaluable to me I could see quite quickly where changes could be made and my baby now naps better in the day and can put himself to sleep at night! I'd recommend this book to all new mums but particularly those who want a calm gentle approach to encourage better sleep for their babies. I now have a baby who sleeps well and bed times are a beautiful bonding time! overall its reduced a lot of my anxiety too! I'm much more relaxed now and never second guess cuddling my son when he needs me - I'm enjoying parenting for the wonderful love filled experience it should be!
on 13 February 2010
So many people told me just to do controlled crying, but this just seemed totally wrong, especially after reading much research about the long-term effects of stress (including distressed crying) on mental health and behaviour in later years, not to mention how much it goes against natural instincts. Instead I searched desperately for a solution to our sleep problems that was flexible and more child-friendly. This book was the answer to my prayers.
Elizabeth Pantley's naturally warm and nurturing approach takes into account a variety of sleep situations; such as co- sleeping or cot, dummy use, breastfeeeing or bottle etc... and tackles a range of problems. It allows parents to tailor advice to suit their particular circumstances and their individual baby by combiniing different tips and strategies to construct an individual plan (and let's face it babies are individuals so I don't see how a rigid, single 'right' approach would possibly be appropriate for most, let alone all, anyway). She also provides lots of useful facts (such as co- sleeping safety) and sets realistic expectations. After all, as adults we may WANT more than 5 hours unbroken sleep but once we have children it isn't just about us anymore! It helps to accept how much our little ones are capable of. It was really good at putting everything into perspective to; I really felt more reassured that I wasn't the only one in my situation and felt so much better realising it could be even worse! I also love how much it reminded me to think of the bigger picture in general.
It really is a wonderful book full of incredibly practical hints, tips and strategies that really do make a difference....without having to resort to any 'training'. It helped me to follow my natural instincts and choose the approaches that are right for my child, instead of having to fight against my child and my instinct (and at what cost in the future?)
I would recommend this book to everyone (and frequently do!)
on 2 January 2009
I was despairing of the sleep issues that my daughter was suffering from but also down-hearted by all the professional literature that advocated letting your child cry at bedtime or naptime. So I thought to myself there must be a book out there that focuses on helping your child sleep without crying being part of the process. And then I found Elizabeth Pantley's books which even had 'no-cry' in the title which was very encouraging. The fantastic thing about these books (including 'The No-cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Pre-schoolers') is that Pantley offers you a whole range of solutions and you choose the one/ones best suited to you and your child. It was interesting to learn the basics of how babies sleep, including their sleep cycles and the importance of naps. And reassuring to discover that sleep issues in children are not uncommon. It was so refreshing to read a book written by a mother of four and not just an academic or someone with many letters after their name. If you are as sleep deprived as we were you will be pleased to know that the book is fantastically well laid-out with many headings and sub-headings so that you can easily navigate the text. When I bought the book, the first thing I did was sit down with a cup of tea, the book and a notepad and I jotted down every option that we hadn't tried already (e.g. soothing music, getting our daughter used to the crib by putting her in to play) and then systematically tried them out over the following days. Take heart, somewhere in this book you will find the answers you are looking for. Good luck!
on 29 November 2013
After 6 months with little sleep I was really starting to feel the strain and felt I needed to take some action. My son was waking 8 times or more per night at this point and I was struggling to function. My relationship with my husband was also suffering under the pressure.
Everyone I spoke to told me that crying it out was my only option so I was relieved to find this book offering other ways.
The advice was well laid out, easy to follow and supportive. I felt I had finally found someone who understood my situation. I devised a plan tailored to my family needs and then adapted it as things progressed.
Within 20 days of following my plan my son's night waking reduced to 2 per night.
He has even slept a 7 hour stretch for several nights. I am now working towards him reducing this further to one awakening which I feel he will soon achieve. It takes commitment and less sleep at first but I saw improvements in sleep stretches and easier settling within a week. I was mentally prepared for it to take longer than this, especially as my baby is very strong willed and vocal.
The improvements in his sleep have had a huge impact on all our lives. We are a much happier family already and without the sleep depravation I feel I can finally start being the mum I wanted to be.
If you want a quick fix this isn't the book for you but if you want no-cry solutions which really work and last I would highly reccomend it.
on 21 October 2012
I bought the book as it was recommended by my GP as a non rigid approach to sleeping in particular for a breast fed baby. I found the author's approach made sense to me as a first time mother and certain factual information was invaluable, such as the bit about sleep cycles and sleeping noises. I read and re-read it as my mind was befuddled by lack of sleep. My daughter's sleeping is now hugely improved which could admittedly have happened anyway as she is now four months old but i would still recommend the book to any parent who doesn't want to just leave their baby to cry it out as the ideas really make snese.. The book was easy to digest and the sleep plan sections were really helpful as they focused your mind on what you needed to do. There was some repitition but as i said when you are sleep deprived it takes longer to make absorb and process information, in fact the ideas are simple and easy to follow. Don't be put off if you are not breast feeding or co-sleeping as the author was as i believe you will still find the book invaluable. Her approach is pretty pro co-sleeping which isn't for everyone but in general the tone is very supportive, for example, stressing that it is in fact pretty normal for baby's to wake during the night as opposed to the people who would have you believe that they should sleep through the night within a few months. Highly recommended.