on 1 January 2011
... I think this book is amazing!!
To start off with, I'm 21. I don't think this book is at all old fashioned. This book is the reason why the guy I'm currently dating opens the car door for me every single time HE takes ME out. Which is every time I see him. This is the reason he lets me walk inside and outside through the door he is holding open for me EVERY TIME there is a door in sight. Girls. This book teaches you how to behave so that your man treats you like a lady - and I don't know about you, but being treated like a lady makes me feel AMAZING!
There is a giggle on every page of this book and it is SO easy to read. I have reread it quite a few times and every time it gets me laughing. This advice is coming from a man, so in that respect, it's refreshing but there's also that feeling that you know it's probably better than some books like this written by women. There are real life scenarios in this book that hammer home some very basic, very simple points about men, from a man's perspective. That include how you know if he thinks you're a keeper, and how to keep a man happy in very simple ways.
After reading this book - I love men more than I thought I did before. They are such simple creatures, and you know what? All you have to do is know that you're worth their time and effort, and the rest just falls into place.
I haven't tried to get picked up every time I meet the guy I'm dating. He just offers. I didn't ask to have him open the car door. He just did. I don't ask for doors to be held open, I just smile and say thank you after every single time. I don't ask for him to pay for everything, I let him. I didn't initiate the hand holding, or the cuddle in the cimema. He did all of the above, and I let him. I acted like a lady, with the knowledge of a man. And to this book, I owe my thanks, because he seems to be perfectly happy to do all of the above!!
Don't hesitate girls, buy this book. I read it in one sitting and I still can't put it down!
on 3 October 2013
This is an excellent book. It is a light read while being factual and full of knowledge. This book is good for singles, those getting married and those married for years. I have read it and shared it with friends who say it has opened their eyes to a new way of thinking and viewing things. I hold the power in a positive way now. Look forward to reading a third book.
on 28 August 2012
I must admit I took great pleasure in reading the reviews, after I read the book that is and went straight to the 1* ones too!
Honestly? This book contains a lot of tripe!
It is dated or at least the author is... and this book could easily leave you with the feeling of low self esteem and self worth by the time you get to the end pages and have reviewed all of your past relationships in the context of his "rules".
I didn't find it relevant to myself at all, I am British and perhaps that is why, but this book seems twenty years behind itself and I really loathed the fact that it gave the impression that the black women of America are desperately hunting for men and potential fathers for the many illegitimate children they have... and for all these single parent females that he knew, I found it funny that no "man" was referenced as having ownership these children. Men were blameless. There was little or no reference to men with children entering into relationships, he glossed over that in a later chapter. Just like he did with his affair.
This book is a worthy read for a good laugh!
Oh and the word "intimacy" just didn't seem to come in to it, very little pleasure, just satisfying the man's needs, who is too stupid to do anything other than what he is programmed to do, hunt for sex!
on 7 February 2011
Firstly i cannot understand how this book got bad reviews, i suspect the women who gave such reviews have never had any male friends, and base there naive assumptions on men based around dinner parties they attend where they make small talk with there friends husbands.
i used to be ''one of the lads'' , i had huge group of male friends.. went on holidays with them, was out with them every weekend.. and im telling you now that 95% of them are cheats and think with there genitals and the way that Steve decribes men is very accurate. My boyfriend is my best friend and hes told me some of the stuff that Steve mentions in the book many a time before.
Of course, some things he says are opinions.. such as every decent man should go to church... but the basic principles are all absolutly on the money.. it was strange reading it because everything he said i could relate to my boyfriend and the way he acts..
i would highly recommend this book to all women, it definetly gives you an insight and although i knew quite a lot of the stuff already due to me having a lot of inside knoledge on men due to my friendships with them.. it definatly taught me some things that i will be applying, and il be handing this book down to my daugthers 1 day.
only reason i havent given it 5 stars is because i thought it could of been longer and he could of gone into more issues.
be open minded and willing to accept that men are different to women..
update 2012..... I felt the need to edit my review and add things to it, as reading some of the bad reviews i felt i must defend Steve and the message he is trying to put across.
He is NOT underminding women, he is telling you how IT IS and how it is actually US that control the relationship. Just because he encourages women to use their feminine charm and assert yourself as a woman doesnt mean he is asking you to belittle yourself, far from it! He is simply stating the fact, if you want the best from your man, then be a lady in every way, so be can be the man that you need!
Remember that we are HUMAN. yes we live in the 21st century and in an era of equal oppertunity, and rightfully so, but men are MEN and women are WOMEN.
I love being feminine and everything that comes with it, and personally as a woman i like to be percieved as sexy but in a classy way and i love being protected by my boyfriend... I like being his possession but that doesnt mean that i or Steve mean ''possession'' as literally some object or door mat, we mean being a mans queen!
And youve got to remember girls... men dont ever really grow up. just like small children or dogs you have to have standards and boundarys with them, or they tend to take the micky in a relationship!
There are aspects of men i find hard to stomach and i cant comprehend, but honestly, what Steve is saying is the TRUTH and if you dont like it then continue to live in blissful ignorance.
Women need to realise that being born in our gender is something to be celebrated, we dont need to be equal to men in every single way. In a lot of ways we are stronger then them but i think every woman should revel in her sexuality and let the girls be the girls and let the boys be the boys, and realise ITS NOT BELITTLING, its only belitting to assume there is something wrong with being a lady and letting him be a man!
ok rant over haha! enjoy the book x
on 15 December 2015
This book changed my life, corny but it did. I began to view the male species in a different light and began to understand that they really do think differently to us ladies. So much so that I began to change my attitude about my love life, became proud to be single and unafraid of the thought of giving my heart to someone. So, I can happily say that i met someone and we are now 3 years strong, soon to be engaged and will be moving in together next year. Never ever thought this would happen to someone me like me and so quickly.
If he wants you, he will do anything to keep you, it really is as simple as that BUT Harvey explains that us females have to do their part.
ill leave this for the book to explain, enjoy.
on 8 December 2012
I'm actually quite amazed that this book got so many good reviews. I've read quite a few dating/relationship books as I like to stay at the top of my game. As with anything in life, if you want to be good at something, you need to do your research. I've read books in this genre written by women, men and co-authored by men and women. Just because this book is written by a man DOES NOT MEAN IT IS GOSPEL. There is one fundamental flaw with this book which makes it lose a lot of its credibility for me. Steve Harvey has not done ANY research, no focus groups, no interviews, nada. This whole book is his opinion and nothing more. Now I think any woman who knows anything knows that each of their male friends have a slightly different opinion on dating which means this book gives a view that is not backed up by anything. Oh yes sorry, he does say he has asked a few of his buddies what they think (many of which who are celebs, so that's definitely keeping it real).
Most of what he says you can probably get away with and do OK, but there were a couple of major points in his book which having done my own research, and many experts in the field will tell you, is fundamentally flawed. One example, is that you need to tell a guy as soon as you're "remotely attracted" to a man what you want in a relationship, which in most cases is probably going to be a serious one. The problem with this is:
a) You've just told a man you probably barely know that you want a serious relationship with him. That says to him you want a relationship with ANY man. He's not special, he doesn't need to earn that position, and he can sit back, crack a beer and let you do all the hard work because he knows you want a serious relationship.
b) He now knows exactly what he needs to say and do to get you into bed and string you along until he gets bored of you. Pretend he's in a serious relationship with you.
Men know all women want a serious relationship, it's not quantum physics. The woman that captures a man's interest is that one that is not predictable. Don't get me wrong, she has standards, she won't tolerate disrespect, but she's not going to give the game away either. Unpredictable = interesting. Predictable = boring. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but let's face it, men are not women, and women not men. They do not think the same AT ALL. Even Steve Harvey will tell you this.
And as for the cheating, if you believe Steve Harvey you'll have the impression that about 90% of men cheat and about 1% of women do. Statistically speaking about 20% of men cheat, and roughly the same amount of women do. That's not to say what Harvey says about preventing cheating is wrong, he's pretty much on the mark, but it only goes to demonstrate his reality (which is mostly based in show-biz) is not the same for the vast majority of the population.
This book is mediocre at best, it's not that funny, it's not backed up by any evidence, and the content and examples are poor it's hard to take much of it seriously. If you want a good book I recommend Sherry Argov 'Why Men Prefer Bitches' and/or 'Why Men Marry Bitches'. There is a good reason why they have excellent reviews (mind boggles why Harvey's book has), they're factual, based on much evidence and even funny. Don't be put off by the title though, Bitch stands for Babe In Total Control of Herself. And that's what it's all about.
on 18 May 2011
Not only is Steve funny but he now writes the truth. He writes in a simple and concise language which is easy to digest and most importantly remember! He magically uses his life experiences as a father, husband and man to offer us women a clear and direct balance into the minds of men. As they say "practice makes perfect" so I did, using the chapter The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before Getting in Too Deep, Question 4: What do you THINK about me? And Question 5: How do you FEEL about me? Firstly they ARE 2 very different questions warranting 2 very different answers. In order for me to try this I had to truly "Over-stand" as opposed to just "understand". I ask the first question to a male friend of mine who has been hanging around for a good few years and with hindsight, implied that he was very interested. I ask him the first question (What do you think about me?). He said "you're very beautiful, intelligent, and independent; you attain very high standards to which you really know what you want from a relationship and a partner in order to build a future. You are in NO rush in meeting this person and will not compromise your virtue for fun. Although, you may have difficulty finding this person that is if he really exists". With a smile on my face and feeling very good about myself, I believed the persona I have been projecting to men was working. I asked him the second question (How do you feel about me?) He replied, "I feel like I'd really like to have a passionate embrace with you" I repeated the question several time to ensure the understood and he just repeated his answer.
Had I had not read this book I would have believed that this friend of mine (whom I have never dated) was secretly really into me.................. I now realised that what he was in fact saying was "you have such high standards to which I cannot comprehend or fulfil, I believe that no man can, or will be willing to and you will be waiting a very long time (not in your life time) to meet him, so I'd like to have a sexual encounter with you"
I am still in shock! Girlfriends, if you are planning to get in a relationship, READ THIS BOOK.
on 27 June 2015
A valuable insight into the male perspective.
I am aware of women who have taken exception to this book. However, Steve Harvey makes no apology for offering the truth as he and his male peers experience it.
Have a look at the three areas a man has to have in place prior to being able to offer a woman anything, the three p's that a man will offer a lady he is genuinely interested in and the section,'sports fish versus keeper'.
I also love the section on having standards!
on 19 November 2014
This book is GREAT, i didnt think it would be for me as im already married 3years and not 'trying' to get the ring so 2 speak but it also shows very handy tips to maintaing the relationship with pointers like... How to keep the spark, how to boost his ego (simple appreciation), and confirmed that a mans mind really is less complicated then women. ive learnt sooo much from this book, only down side is i could not put it down so i finished it rather quickly.
on 6 February 2013
This is by far one of the best books I have ever read in my life!!!!....
If only I had found this book the day before my breakup. Literally went into the bookstore the day after my separation and read through. I stayed 6 hours in the book store just reading I couldn't get myself to put it down. I purchased this book and read it over and over and cried and cried because I could see what Steve was saying all along. It was exactly what I was going through and he pointed out the things I knew was going wrong in my relationship, he just didn't sugar coat it. I also learned a lot of things about my partner that I wish I had known. I'm hoping to use the advice given in this great book to build myself and ensure that the next time I get him back, I'll be perfect for him.