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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My husband and I agree on this...
This is the first book about relationships that my husband and I both find accurate. He was the depressive/passive/DECEIVER and I was the dominant/strong/cheery/DENIER. I can't believe how true the book was for us. I never understood before how a twenty year marriage that looked good to everone else could suddenly fall apart. "Crazy Time" has given me a...
Published on 27 Nov 1998

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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Yes, but....
This book was given to me by a friend whose opinion I value very much and I started reading it immediately and went over it several times. I cried a lot. Yes, this book strikes a lot of cords but it is very biased and I don't regard it as healthy (for me) in the long run. Her perspective might have worked for her but basically it's only her opinion about how marriage...
Published on 14 Jan 2008 by Alyssum saxatile


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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My husband and I agree on this..., 27 Nov 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
This is the first book about relationships that my husband and I both find accurate. He was the depressive/passive/DECEIVER and I was the dominant/strong/cheery/DENIER. I can't believe how true the book was for us. I never understood before how a twenty year marriage that looked good to everone else could suddenly fall apart. "Crazy Time" has given me a clear understanding of the rift in our marriage, and new compassion for the struggle my husband has been going through. There are no 'bad guys' here. I'm sad, but I don't hate him. Our marriage may be over, but our friendship and our own lives are not over, and I thank Ms. Trafford.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I felt that the author knew me and my ex!, 27 Nov 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
Ms. Trafford starts from the premise that in any unhappy marriage, the spouses are trapped in an unequal relationship. One is dominant and the other is submissive. If they cannot figure out how to escape from that imbalance, then they are deadlocked. I realized that not only was my marriage deadlocked, but my divorce negotiations were deadlocked as well. The same issues that made my marriage so insufferable were stopping me from consummating my divorce. This book has case histories that exemplify the lucid discussions about divorce. They explain how "crazy time" took hold of my life. I felt that Ms. Trafford was talking directly to me. She helped me to get out of my deadlock and into the resolution phase of my personal tragedy. I recommend this book to anyone who is trying to understand divorce.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely helps through the crazy times of a divorce!, 7 Aug 2000
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
If it doesn't gives all answers, it helps to structurise one's emotions, feelings, actions in diferent stages of the seperation process.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Great read for those faced with a break up of a marriage, 24 Mar 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
This book describes the different phases couples go through during the process of uncoupling. It incorporates first-hand accounts of those who have struggled through a divorce. It is a must read for those who find themselves dissatisfied with their marriage or those on the brink of divorce.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best one I have read, 22 Mar 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
Of all the divorce recovery/self-help books I read (and there were many) this is the only one in which I found all the information useful and really related to. I recommend this for anyone going through a divorce, especially a "surprise" divorce. It really helps you understand and validates your feelings and gives you clues as to your spouse's behavior.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Learn what to expect as the end approaches, 29 Jan 1998
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
I couldn't understanding why "our" therapist encouraged me to read this book, since all the examples in the book seemed to including cheating partners. When the truth came out and my (former) partner admitted her infidelity, I couldn't escape the emotions, but I knew that they were normal because of this book. "Crazy Time" will give you hope that, sooner or later, you'll get over the pain of the death of your relationship.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Required Reading!, 11 Oct 1996
By A Customer
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
This book should be required reading to accompany your divorce decree.

Divorce may not be what any of us choose, but this is your guide to the murkey waters that follow a life changing experience. A must read whether you have experienced divorce or the end of a meaningful relationship.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
This book was given to me by a friend whose opinion I value very much and I started reading it immediately and went over it several times. I cried a lot. Yes, this book strikes a lot of cords but it is very biased and I don't regard it as healthy (for me) in the long run. Her perspective might have worked for her but basically it's only her opinion about how marriage should work. She is a journalist, not a psychologist. From her perspective of her own marriage she started to investigate other people's marriage and found similarities. Yes, they exist. There is always one dominant partner, always a submissive partner.. always a kisser and kissed. But this is true for every human relationship, esp. marriages. I personally believe that a long standing marriage with the challenges of every day life only works if both partners are not equally independent, headstrong and intellectual equal.
The majority of marriages were sub-conscience started because of the differences. Weak man seeks strong woman to become whole and vice versa.
These differences are in every marriage, even in the healthy ones and this is the weakest point of the book. For her the differences are to blame. And since we all recognize on some level these patterns in our relationships this can make us feel guilty. Because of the way we are and we like to look for guilt in ourselves. We don't see that our partner stayed with us that long because we were that way, they did not go off because of it.
She does not take into consideration that at a certain age we are supposed to deal with adults. With people who run extensive families, big companies, handle money, save lives, are responsible for the fate of others on their own choosing, who have children, grandchildren, friends and families. And everyone will be affected. Big time.
Not because two people were in a maybe not so perfect marriage but because someone was not able to talk about his/her problems and take responsibility.
Because it was easier to run off than to face and work on problems.
And everyone has the right to be angry and hurt about this betrayal of the promise we married in the first place.. For Better And Worse.
That book is a little bit to flippant about the subject of marriage.. Its a very superficial way to shrug shoulders and say.. okay..she/he had to run away because I was dominant/submissive.. okay.. I have taken my part in the blame where is the next partner because I am so mature now.

Read it, think about it and think deep about your own marriage and take a grain of truth from it. But it is not a solution or an explanation for your marriage. The way she sees marriage and martial problems is her way, her ideas, her values and her explanations. It might not be your way to understand what went wrong with you two.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars The madness is to be expected, and will pass...., 19 April 2006
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
I have lent this book,the old edition probably, and due to a certain craziness, forgot who I lent it to.It was excellent.I did not read its every word, as that was beyond me at that time.But it helped me to see that all of my emotions and the total tangle I was in had some sort of a pattern.It also explained the reversals that were throwing me off balance, and gave me confidence that I was still heading forward. My divorce was instigated by me, and was about a long marriage losing its way.It helped me to understand my own reactions, and gave me a context for the behaviour of my husband.So useful.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant, 21 July 2009
By 
Mrs. Ge Price (Manchester, England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life (Paperback)
This book was my bible whilst I went through my divorce and still is. Read this if you really hurt but you know you need to move on and dont want to be bitter. I don't know what I would have done without it.
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Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life
Crazy Time: Surviving Divorce and Building a New Life by Abigail Trafford (Paperback - 31 Dec 1992)
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