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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No More Waiting by the Phone for Me!
Like other reviewers, I read this book in one sitting. And I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it! While the message may appear simple - he's just not that into you - it really is amazing to read through this book and have things click in your mind. You can think back to certain situations where you may have made excuses for a person's behavior, their lack of calling when...
Published on 4 Mar 2009 by Maggie Stewart

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112 of 125 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not the book for deep advice on dating or relationships
A friend of mine raved about this book, so in spite of the put-down title (which I think generalizes men, and women), I picked up a copy. And yes, was disappointed. The book focuses on excuses women make to convince themselves that men are "into them" when they're "not." First, I thought the points were obvious - for example, a man who doesn't call when he says he would...
Published on 11 Jun 2005


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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No More Waiting by the Phone for Me!, 4 Mar 2009
By 
Like other reviewers, I read this book in one sitting. And I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it! While the message may appear simple - he's just not that into you - it really is amazing to read through this book and have things click in your mind. You can think back to certain situations where you may have made excuses for a person's behavior, their lack of calling when they said they would, their super busy schedules preventing time to spend with you, and you can see it for what it really was - he just wasn't that into you! What a relief.

This book has the ability to give you lots of power. Read it, absorb it and never again sit by the phone waiting for it to ring. There will be no need to wait around once you see the writing on the wall, just move on to the next guy who may be the one who's into you!

This book is well worth reading. Buy it and keep it handy for when you need a refresher course. Be kind and loan it out to your girlfriends who are going through hard times with their guys, they will thank you for it!
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33 of 36 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars He's just not into you, 12 Feb 2007
This is an excellent book- a "Wake up and smell the coffee call" and one not for massaging your fragile ego with ! No excuses, as the title states.

Like "Not Tonight, Mr Right! "you are under NO illusion about what messages you are receiving, or not receiving on your dates , or in your relationships. Yes, we've all been there, and got the t-shirt....

In other words, Mr.Greg is saying : " Don't fool yourself! And don't waste your time. either....".

Once you realise this for yourself, you're going to be ready to move on, and read signals and signs, with a lot more insight and wisdom.
Useful questions and answers scenarios and yes, these are the things, you already know, but were too afraid to confront yourself with.

And while "he's just not into you", there are others out there, more deserving of you, who will be!
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112 of 125 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Not the book for deep advice on dating or relationships, 11 Jun 2005
By A Customer
A friend of mine raved about this book, so in spite of the put-down title (which I think generalizes men, and women), I picked up a copy. And yes, was disappointed. The book focuses on excuses women make to convince themselves that men are "into them" when they're "not." First, I thought the points were obvious - for example, a man who doesn't call when he says he would. According to the book, if he doesn't, he's not into you.
There could be a multitude of reasons why that aren't related to how into you he is or isn't. But that being said, the reasons may not matter. For the more appropriate question in my view is "How do you want to be treated in a relationship?" To instead ask whether or not "he's into you" is to assume that he's finding you lacking in some way. Yes, the book says you're great, pretty, etc. but if the authors really believe that, then why all the repetition of the only reason a guy isn't acting like Prince Charming is that you don't interest him enough (with the token positive comment added on after all the negativity)?
I don't think many women would want to be involved with or marry a man who treated them well only because he was "into her" and had treated other women poorly because he wasn't into them. Not me anyway - only a man who treats all women and men well is worth it, in my book.
Second, this book doesn't match my personal experience either - of a couple of men who'd told me they'd been too nervous to ask me out for a very long time, of the male friends who'd told me they'd been so broken by their previous relationships that they feared getting into another one (and I witnessed their hesitation for years - and yes - the women they married did a lot of the work in the beginning), of the men I know who have told me that they often "reject before being rejected" etc.
So what's of value here? Deciding what kind of relationship you want and seeking someone who treats you well (and hopefully because of who he is as a person, not his evaluation of you).
But there are plenty of books out there written by people who possess and offer much deeper knowledge of relationships than the writers of this book, and who offer it in a way that is affirming, rather than negative. One title that goes to the heart of relationships in a positive and clear way is "The New Couple," by Maurice Taylor and Seana McGee. A book written for men by a psychologist (also a man) but that I think many women would find very helpful is "When Good Men Behave Badly" by David Wexler (yes, another cliche title - and possibly one that's off-putting to men[!] - but the content of the book is solid, deep and respectful of people. I've found it countless times more helpful than this one). The response book to this one is much more realistic and helpful too (and humorous): "Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve"
by Ian Kerner. And finally, on a more general level, Don Miguel Ruiz's books - "The Four Agreements," "The Mastery of Love" and "The Voice of Knowledge" are helpful reminders of all the "stories" that are told in our cultures (like the "stories" in this book) - and how they distort reality and how damaging they can be to our healthy and happy functioning.
In questions of relationship, I think it's good to turn towards people who have knowledge (psychologists for example) and write with maturity in this area. The content of this particular book stays on the surface of the things, and I think is presented in a unnecessarily negative manner. Not something I'd recommend to anyone, and I'm concerned about all the hype (at least in the U.S.) over this one - for I think it can steer we women in an unhealthy direction, where we ask the wrong question - "Is he into me?" - rather than "What do I want in my relationship?"
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30 of 33 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not to be taken too seriously..., 3 July 2005
Yes, I agree that many women allow themselves to be ruled by their emotions and to make excuses for bad behaviour from men. However, I don't agree with the whole 'one-strike-and-your-out' approach of this book.
According to this book, if he puts a single foot wrong - he's not that into you and you should get rid. As someone who has spent far too many years with her head in romantic novels, this book encourages the whole fairy tale romance - that Prince Charming will just appear and will know and want to please your every need. It doesn't work like that. Relationships take work and effort from both sides.
Men, just as much as women do, come with life experiences and emotional 'baggage' if you like and sometimes need encouraging. If he's not confident enough to ask you out, then he's 'not that into you'. Maybe he is too shy to ask you out but does this really mean that he is also not capable of being a loving boyfriend?
Have a laugh at reading but treat with caution...
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29 of 32 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, 5 Nov 2006
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This book is an absolute must for any woman who has ever had problems with dating- especially in the murky first weeks to 3 months. Every scenario covered, funny, thought provoking and straight forward. Ever gone out with a man who's phone was sometimes off? Was too busy to call? Didn't want a relationship? Was married or unavailable? Only wanted you as a friend? Then this book is for you!

My favourite quote is "You already have one asshole, why would you need another?!"

Buy it for yourself, buy copies for your friends.
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45 of 50 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank God, an explanation!!, 22 Oct 2006
By 
L. Scarpati "LAS" (Yorkshire, England) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
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Ladies, you MUST own a copy of this book. I read the book in one sitting and found myself inwardly cringing at all the excuses men had thrown at me that I'd believed (and I really wish I'd had this book a couple of relationships back, I may not have made such a fool of myself!). And also, some of the excuses I'd made FOR the blokes who weren't 'that into me'.

I had never bought a relationship 'self-help' book before but admit I got caught up in the Sex In The City hype when this was released and thought I'd give it a try. Now, I cannot recommend this book highly enough!

It's quite amazing that modern, independent women of the 21st Century are carving out lives and successful careers for ourselves; but when it comes to relationships, we put up with so much garbage. Instead of feeling in control, we feel powerless, unattractive and unworthy.

The only problem with this book is; it's absolutely right. As you read it, you begin to feel a bit narked that in order to find Mr Right, you have to wait for him to come to you. And if that guy you've had your eye on, doesn't call or pound down your door- it's quite obvious he's just not that into you. Isn't that annoying? But he's right. Anyone of us can look back at our previous relationships, both successful and not quite so successful and find examples that back up what Greg says in this book.

It's brutally honest; but Greg comes across as your big brother, campaigning for you, pushing your beauty and self worth and reminding you that you really are a gem. Even women in relationships should keep a copy of this book to refer to whenever needed. It's a gem for any woman's book collection.

This book is invaluable!
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Hmm... mixed feelings, 6 Jun 2008
By 
My friend lent me a copy of this book - she thought I needed it because I was contemplating asking a guy out. I wasn't convinced.

And I'm still not.
Although a lot of what the book has to say about "not that into you" clues early on in a relationship is fairly reasonable, I think it's pretty rubbish once you get further down the path. For instance, the example where a woman is happily settled with a guy who previously got messily divorced but is reluctant to get married again... Greg all but suggests she dump him. Uh, no! I got angrier and angrier as I got further and further in to the book. The one-size-fits-all approach really isn't appropriate in the real world.

Regardless, I'm going to go and ask that guy out. Greg has annoyed me to the point where I'm going to do it just because I can!

Oh, and the friend that lent it to me? Very, very single...
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50 of 56 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Spot On Observations, 21 Feb 2005
By A Customer
The observations in this book are pretty much right all the way through. If he wants you he will act it. If he doesn't act it, don't waste your time waiting, move on. This book and How to Date Your Wife by Stan Cronin show how relationships were meant to work.Also try You Are Here by Steve Horsfall for a gritty reflection of the sexes.
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102 of 115 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It's just not that simple, 18 Jun 2005
By A Customer
If I, as a woman, was to say 'All men are the same,' there would be a upcry from men. Yet Greg has sold this book on the basis that he knows what men think as he is a man.
This book takes no account of what stage a relationship is at - if he does not define himself as your boyfriend, he's not that into you - well are we talking about after the first date, third date, third month? He should do all the asking out too, so should be into you even if he hardly knows you.
Thinking 'he's not that into you' is a put down to women. It is saying to me that it's something lacking in the woman. For example he's not that into you if he sees you only when he's drunk. Well clearly it's not good to date a man like this, but not because 'he's not that into you' but because he has a drink problem - put the responsibility where it is deserved.
Also, it does not encourage a woman to take her responsiblity for making the relationship work, you just turn up and he decides if he is into you or not. It does not work like that - relationships take work and commitment from both sides - men and women can wreck promising relationship by being too clingy, too possesive, not having time available, not showing their brillance because of lack of self-esteem, putting up barriers due to past hurt, and infinate number of other reasons. These people are not rare - most people have some baggage, and unless we recognise this in ourselves and our partners, we can go through a string of failing relationships just thinking they all were not into me, instead of looking at the real issues. This may be easier in the short term, but of no benefit in the long-term. It would be interesting to hear from people who used this book to discover that they really were with the right guy.
Finding the right relationship is not just about finding someone who is into you, but finding someone you are into just as much, and a relationship that works on the levels of communication, compatibility etc, and it is the responsibility of both men and women to develop good methods of relating with those we care for.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A stand alone spin off of SATC, 20 Jun 2008
In all honesty I bought this book after reading a newspaper article about the TV show Sex and the City where this book was quoted from. I really enjoyed the SATC episode that coined the phrase "He's just not that into you" and wanted to see what else the writer had to say on the subject.

I have read some of the reviews and I agree with some of the people that state this is not the "Bible" on relationships and does not really cover those more serious and involved relationships, but's it not a one star book. It does exactly what it says on the tin. It gives a wide variety of the scenarios where a woman should really know better and cut her losses and get on with her life.

I found this book made me laugh at both the men in the scenarios and myself when I realised that I had been in several of the same situations before. I was single when I read this so I wasn't really using this a self help book or a guide to getting out of a bad relationship, however if there's one thing every woman should take from it - If he doesn't call you back, it's not personal, it's not the end of the world, he's just not that into you. If you think about, if you were compatible with every one in the world life would be a very dull place...

It's the self help book for those women who are not looking for a self help book. Even if you take nothing from it - it has some amusing parts to it and is written in a very comical style.
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