Customer Reviews

26
4.4 out of 5 stars
The Fussy Baby Book
Format: PaperbackChange
Price:£12.08+Free shipping with Amazon Prime
Your rating(Clear)Rate this item


There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful
on 17 November 1998
This book is a MUST have for colicky and high need babies. Everyone I know with high need children have this and its the #1 recommended book on the subject, with #2 being "The Spirited Child" which is for slightly older children and up. High needs babies are defined by Dr. Sears, really the best authority on the subject, as intense, hyperactive, draining, feeds frequently, demanding, awakens frequently, unsatisfied, unpredictable, supersensitive, unable to be put down, uncuddly (oh sooo true!), not a self-soother, and seperation sensitive. He also says most babies ARE high needs in one area or another, but highneeds babies are high needs in almost ALL departments. Remember though, that your high needs child may have many of the traits, but not all. Each child expresses their high needs traits in their own way and the behavior is manifested individually. There are also high need FAQs online. But they will not give you 1/100th of the valuable information and validation you will recieve from this book -- its a GODSEND. ;)
--Susan
p.s. The only reason there aren't more reviews here I think is that high needs kids are so high-maintenance we never have the time or energy to do anything but sleep and eat. LOL ;)
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
45 of 47 people found the following review helpful
After friends recommended reading Gina Ford and Tracy Hogg, I tried getting my baby into a routine, applied the methods for sleeping and feeding but found, after a very stressful couple of months, that my baby wasn't sleeping through, nor taking daytime naps (20 minutes if I was lucky), nor conforming to much of a routine. If the techniques don't work, both these authors stress that the parent must be doing something wrong. I ended up guiltily doing what I really wanted to; carrying the baby in a sling a lot; bringing her into bed with me; feeding her when she indicated she was hungry. But I felt that I had failed.

Then I stumbled across the askdrsears website and felt vindicated. I subsequently bought some of William and Martha Sear's books. What a relief it's been to discover an approach to caring for your baby that isn't centred on training the baby to fit into your life. They advocate a very nurturing, baby-focused approach that acknowledges that your baby will turn your world upside down but hey, it's a baby. It's not going to last long and, most importantly, babies are helpless, dependent and are instinctively afraid to be alone and away from their mothers. You can't spoil a tiny baby by cuddling too much but you can do them a lot of harm by not cuddling them enough.

This book addresses the problems that parents of particularly demanding babies might face - exactly the sort of babies who, like mine, respond very badly to being 'trained'. There are lots of tips for bonding with your baby, getting her settled and to sleep but be warned, these are very counter to what you might have read elsewhere in that the Sears do advocate doing whatever works for you, even if this results in 'bad' sleep associations such as only falling asleep when nursing or being cuddled. Their take is - what's so bad about a baby being cuddled - which I agree with.

This loses a star for a few reasons - practically all the information is on the askdrsears website, so not much point in buying the book if you have web access (credit to them for providing it free of charge - unlike Gina Ford who charged £40 to register on her site!). Sometimes the style of the book is rather sentimental and more fitting for a US reader than an English one. Finally, they do go on about breastffeding and as a mother who desperately wanted to breastfeed but for various reasons couldn't, I don't need the guilt.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
on 3 January 1999
I bought this book after feeling angry and disappointed that my son's temperament did not match up with what is considered normal in most parenting books. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong to make him so cranky all the time. After I bought the Searses book, I felt so much better. It describes all sorts of personality traits common to high need babies, but instead of making them seem like a curse, the authors show how these traits are beneficial for the child now and later in life. If you are at your wits end because you feel like you can never put your baby down without him/her crying or that your baby wants to nurse all the time-get this book. You will feel so much better.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on 12 August 2013
I am a first time mum of twins and have one really laid back baby and one high needs, demanding baby and thought I was pandering to a manipulative son by responding every time he cried. It was creating a conflict of parenting styles between my husband and I as I felt cruel to let him cry to see if he would self-soothe and my husband felt that I was creating a 'mummies boy'. He was a baby that was not happy unless in my arms and preferably nursing 24/7.

After reading this book, we both understand that he has different needs to his sister and have responded to his cries more readily and as a result, he cries far less often and smiles a whole lot more. He is now a really happy baby that still needs a lot of attention, but we better understand he is communicating in the only way he can. Yes there are times when he screams the house down as we just can't respond (when without the other parent and changing nappy of the other twin, bathing other twin, etc, etc), but on the whole he knows that when he needs something, it will be done. He has an umbilical hernia that was getting larger week by week, but in the month of following our reading this book, it is actually getting smaller meaning that surgery is less likely. We also have noticed that although he is only 5mths old, he is trying to communicate in other ways and looks to want he wants while crying, for instance he will look at the changing table and if we say the word 'nappy' he stops crying and once on the change mat will beam a huge smile as a reward for understanding him. This has changed our lives in terms of parenting a high needs baby especially as we have twins.

When people visit and give me that disapproving look when I immediately respond to his cries, I simply say that if one had a disabled baby you'd deal with them in a way that met their needs, well, just because you can't see his needs, that doesn't make them any less important. I felt, rightly or wrongly, that they were judging me as a first-time mum and assuming that I didn't know what I was doing. This book said I was right to follow my instincts and that it was OK to cuddle him for hours on an evening when the other twin was asleep and didn't need me - he is now the first to fall asleep and sleeps longer as a result of being better understood.

He is a lovely little boy that is growing in confidence and although he is not as independent or adventurous as his twin sister (or other babies his age), he is his own person and is happy. Highly recommend this book.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on 24 January 2013
Well, I'm five weeks into parenting what is turning out to be a very high need baby. I have been tearing my hairout with frustration and blaming myself for my baby not being able to settle.

Cue someone on an online forum recommending this book! I ordered immediately and eagerly awaited delivery!

It dropped in my doorstep and somehow imanaedoread bits while holding said 5 week old connstantly. I was immediately comforted that it wasn't just me, that there were other parents out there with similar babies and that there were ways through these hard times.

Given that I never get chance to sit down and spend any length of time reading, I was dubious about wasting my money but its great for dipping in and out of as and when my baby will allow me.

If you find yourself with a baby that seems somewhat distressed and unsettled all the time, a baby that refuses point blank to be parted from you, a baby that bypasses crying and goes straight in for the SCREAM, and a baby with more willpower than you've ever seen before then this book is for you.

Not only will it make you feel better about yourself,it will help provide coping strategies and be your companion through the journey. You'll be given so much advice off people who have had or got 'easy babies' and you'll wonder why none of it works, as well as feeling pangs of jealousy that these other people have happy, content little babas - this book helps to deal with all of that.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
on 13 November 1998
Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes when I first read this book--it was if someone else had written a book about my very own son. After many tearful, exhausting days and nights of trying to force my son to fit into the mold of the "average child" that is portrayed in just about every parenting book and manual on the market, I inhaled a deep breath of fresh air by reading this insightful and empathetic book. The Searses candidly share their first personal experience with a high-need child: their own fourth-born child, a daughter, born after three easy sons. It was comforting to discover that I was not a bad parent--but that my son was just in high-need (and high demand!) of what all babies need and thrive on--holding, rocking, nursing, patience, etc. To put the theme of this book in one sentence: Parenting is not a nightmare if you accept your child the way he is and follow your instincts.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
on 31 January 2002
From the first moment I knew that my daughter was a bit extra - extra smart, extra loving, extra needy, extra fussy,...and I wasn't sure how to handle her. Most of the time I just followed my instincts but have recently started loosing faith after hearing "you gonna spoil her" from friends and family too many times.
After reading this book I realized that many parents are following this style of parenting. It helped me form a perspective on how to help my high-need toddler's personality flourish and feel sure (and proud) of my mothering style. I only wish I had this book 2.5 years ago before my baby was born - every page breaths with love and the most beautiful ways to enjoy parenting (I am already looking to buy a sling so that my next child has a peaceful transition from womb to the outside world).
I most warmly recommend this book to all the mothers (not only ones with high-need children) as it teaches a lot about children's personalities, ways to help them grow and how parents to enjoy it during the way.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on 20 May 2009
This book was excellent for my daughter who has a very high need baby, possible due to his nature, but more likely due to the very difficult birth he sustained. I found it astonishing that other people and so called baby experts can lump babies into one category and expect them all to behave the same. Advice such as 'leave to cry' etc was so unhelpful and felt completely wrong for a tiny scrap who'd spent the first weeks of life on intensive care with minimal contact with mum, poked and prodded with needles stuck into him at regular intervals, he needed close physical and emotional contact for many months when he came home. And it paid off, at 8 months he is happy, secure and progressing well. He still needs close contact but can now be put down without becoming hysterical. Mums should follow their instincts and not the so called experts who undermine a mothers self belief in what her child needs. Gina Ford should be thrown on a bonfire of all her stupid ignorant books!
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on 24 August 2013
Bought this book after reading the Sears Attachment Parenting book which I found really really good. I love the Sears work. It is a very practical, supportive and just common sense approach to parenting. The advice just makes sense and works - as I have found out with my newborn. The advice is what babies naturally crave and the Sears actually have parenting experience unlike some other popular baby advice authors.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
on 24 July 2013
I am a first-time parent and I bought this book when I realised that my son is more alert and more active than other babies born around the same time. Reading posts on the Internet and talking to other patents made me think we were doing something wrong as parents and our parenting style was only spoiling him and adding fuel to the fire.
This book gave me a fresh perspective on the whole parenthood and gave me confidence I needed. I think everyone should read it as it truly helps you to be more self-aware as a parent as well as to be more aware of your baby's needs.
There are some recommendations here, however, I wouldn't follow, e.g. sleeping with the baby in the same bed. But still the book is worth of reading and at the end of the day you as a parent need to decide what best for you and you don't need to follow blindly everything what others tell you (this is the main message of the book anyway). I would definitely recommend it to everyone especially to those who doubt their parenting style or do not entirely enjoy being a parent - trust me, this book will help you.
0CommentWas this review helpful to you?YesNoSending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
     
 
Customers who viewed this item also viewed

The Attachment Parenting Book (Sears Parenting Library)
The Attachment Parenting Book (Sears Parenting Library) by William Sears (Paperback - 25 Dec. 2001)
£8.98

 
     

Send us feedback

How can we make Amazon Customer Reviews better for you?
Let us know here.

Sponsored Links

  (What is this?)
  -  
Baby Formula To Help Reduce Gas and Fussiness. Learn More Here!