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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars MUST-HAVE book for parents of colicky/high needs babies.
This book is a MUST have for colicky and high need babies. Everyone I know with high need children have this and its the #1 recommended book on the subject, with #2 being "The Spirited Child" which is for slightly older children and up. High needs babies are defined by Dr. Sears, really the best authority on the subject, as intense, hyperactive, draining,...
Published on 17 Nov 1998

versus
3.0 out of 5 stars Just go on the website
I've found Dr Sears principles really useful when it comes to parenting my child and whilst the principles of parenting a high need child are really useful I found that this book literally didn't provide me with any more help than the FREE information provided on the Dr Sears website.
Published 17 months ago by Rachael Squires


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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars MUST-HAVE book for parents of colicky/high needs babies., 17 Nov 1998
By A Customer
This book is a MUST have for colicky and high need babies. Everyone I know with high need children have this and its the #1 recommended book on the subject, with #2 being "The Spirited Child" which is for slightly older children and up. High needs babies are defined by Dr. Sears, really the best authority on the subject, as intense, hyperactive, draining, feeds frequently, demanding, awakens frequently, unsatisfied, unpredictable, supersensitive, unable to be put down, uncuddly (oh sooo true!), not a self-soother, and seperation sensitive. He also says most babies ARE high needs in one area or another, but highneeds babies are high needs in almost ALL departments. Remember though, that your high needs child may have many of the traits, but not all. Each child expresses their high needs traits in their own way and the behavior is manifested individually. There are also high need FAQs online. But they will not give you 1/100th of the valuable information and validation you will recieve from this book -- its a GODSEND. ;)
--Susan
p.s. The only reason there aren't more reviews here I think is that high needs kids are so high-maintenance we never have the time or energy to do anything but sleep and eat. LOL ;)
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42 of 43 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars It's ok to cuddle your baby, 5 Aug 2006
By 
L. Haycox "lauren30" (UK) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
After friends recommended reading Gina Ford and Tracy Hogg, I tried getting my baby into a routine, applied the methods for sleeping and feeding but found, after a very stressful couple of months, that my baby wasn't sleeping through, nor taking daytime naps (20 minutes if I was lucky), nor conforming to much of a routine. If the techniques don't work, both these authors stress that the parent must be doing something wrong. I ended up guiltily doing what I really wanted to; carrying the baby in a sling a lot; bringing her into bed with me; feeding her when she indicated she was hungry. But I felt that I had failed.

Then I stumbled across the askdrsears website and felt vindicated. I subsequently bought some of William and Martha Sear's books. What a relief it's been to discover an approach to caring for your baby that isn't centred on training the baby to fit into your life. They advocate a very nurturing, baby-focused approach that acknowledges that your baby will turn your world upside down but hey, it's a baby. It's not going to last long and, most importantly, babies are helpless, dependent and are instinctively afraid to be alone and away from their mothers. You can't spoil a tiny baby by cuddling too much but you can do them a lot of harm by not cuddling them enough.

This book addresses the problems that parents of particularly demanding babies might face - exactly the sort of babies who, like mine, respond very badly to being 'trained'. There are lots of tips for bonding with your baby, getting her settled and to sleep but be warned, these are very counter to what you might have read elsewhere in that the Sears do advocate doing whatever works for you, even if this results in 'bad' sleep associations such as only falling asleep when nursing or being cuddled. Their take is - what's so bad about a baby being cuddled - which I agree with.

This loses a star for a few reasons - practically all the information is on the askdrsears website, so not much point in buying the book if you have web access (credit to them for providing it free of charge - unlike Gina Ford who charged £40 to register on her site!). Sometimes the style of the book is rather sentimental and more fitting for a US reader than an English one. Finally, they do go on about breastffeding and as a mother who desperately wanted to breastfeed but for various reasons couldn't, I don't need the guilt.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book made me feel better about my child!, 3 Jan 1999
By A Customer
I bought this book after feeling angry and disappointed that my son's temperament did not match up with what is considered normal in most parenting books. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong to make him so cranky all the time. After I bought the Searses book, I felt so much better. It describes all sorts of personality traits common to high need babies, but instead of making them seem like a curse, the authors show how these traits are beneficial for the child now and later in life. If you are at your wits end because you feel like you can never put your baby down without him/her crying or that your baby wants to nurse all the time-get this book. You will feel so much better.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Fussy Baby book, 20 May 2009
By 
K. Stevens "avid.reader" (england) - See all my reviews
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This book was excellent for my daughter who has a very high need baby, possible due to his nature, but more likely due to the very difficult birth he sustained. I found it astonishing that other people and so called baby experts can lump babies into one category and expect them all to behave the same. Advice such as 'leave to cry' etc was so unhelpful and felt completely wrong for a tiny scrap who'd spent the first weeks of life on intensive care with minimal contact with mum, poked and prodded with needles stuck into him at regular intervals, he needed close physical and emotional contact for many months when he came home. And it paid off, at 8 months he is happy, secure and progressing well. He still needs close contact but can now be put down without becoming hysterical. Mums should follow their instincts and not the so called experts who undermine a mothers self belief in what her child needs. Gina Ford should be thrown on a bonfire of all her stupid ignorant books!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful Resource for Tired Parents, 13 Nov 1998
By A Customer
Wow! I couldn't believe my eyes when I first read this book--it was if someone else had written a book about my very own son. After many tearful, exhausting days and nights of trying to force my son to fit into the mold of the "average child" that is portrayed in just about every parenting book and manual on the market, I inhaled a deep breath of fresh air by reading this insightful and empathetic book. The Searses candidly share their first personal experience with a high-need child: their own fourth-born child, a daughter, born after three easy sons. It was comforting to discover that I was not a bad parent--but that my son was just in high-need (and high demand!) of what all babies need and thrive on--holding, rocking, nursing, patience, etc. To put the theme of this book in one sentence: Parenting is not a nightmare if you accept your child the way he is and follow your instincts.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally a parenting style that puts children first!, 31 Jan 2002
From the first moment I knew that my daughter was a bit extra - extra smart, extra loving, extra needy, extra fussy,...and I wasn't sure how to handle her. Most of the time I just followed my instincts but have recently started loosing faith after hearing "you gonna spoil her" from friends and family too many times.
After reading this book I realized that many parents are following this style of parenting. It helped me form a perspective on how to help my high-need toddler's personality flourish and feel sure (and proud) of my mothering style. I only wish I had this book 2.5 years ago before my baby was born - every page breaths with love and the most beautiful ways to enjoy parenting (I am already looking to buy a sling so that my next child has a peaceful transition from womb to the outside world).
I most warmly recommend this book to all the mothers (not only ones with high-need children) as it teaches a lot about children's personalities, ways to help them grow and how parents to enjoy it during the way.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Totally changed the way we parent, 12 Aug 2013
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This review is from: The Fussy Baby Book (Paperback)
I am a first time mum of twins and have one really laid back baby and one high needs, demanding baby and thought I was pandering to a manipulative son by responding every time he cried. It was creating a conflict of parenting styles between my husband and I as I felt cruel to let him cry to see if he would self-soothe and my husband felt that I was creating a 'mummies boy'. He was a baby that was not happy unless in my arms and preferably nursing 24/7.

After reading this book, we both understand that he has different needs to his sister and have responded to his cries more readily and as a result, he cries far less often and smiles a whole lot more. He is now a really happy baby that still needs a lot of attention, but we better understand he is communicating in the only way he can. Yes there are times when he screams the house down as we just can't respond (when without the other parent and changing nappy of the other twin, bathing other twin, etc, etc), but on the whole he knows that when he needs something, it will be done. He has an umbilical hernia that was getting larger week by week, but in the month of following our reading this book, it is actually getting smaller meaning that surgery is less likely. We also have noticed that although he is only 5mths old, he is trying to communicate in other ways and looks to want he wants while crying, for instance he will look at the changing table and if we say the word 'nappy' he stops crying and once on the change mat will beam a huge smile as a reward for understanding him. This has changed our lives in terms of parenting a high needs baby especially as we have twins.

When people visit and give me that disapproving look when I immediately respond to his cries, I simply say that if one had a disabled baby you'd deal with them in a way that met their needs, well, just because you can't see his needs, that doesn't make them any less important. I felt, rightly or wrongly, that they were judging me as a first-time mum and assuming that I didn't know what I was doing. This book said I was right to follow my instincts and that it was OK to cuddle him for hours on an evening when the other twin was asleep and didn't need me - he is now the first to fall asleep and sleeps longer as a result of being better understood.

He is a lovely little boy that is growing in confidence and although he is not as independent or adventurous as his twin sister (or other babies his age), he is his own person and is happy. Highly recommend this book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute lifesaver, 24 Jan 2013
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Well, I'm five weeks into parenting what is turning out to be a very high need baby. I have been tearing my hairout with frustration and blaming myself for my baby not being able to settle.

Cue someone on an online forum recommending this book! I ordered immediately and eagerly awaited delivery!

It dropped in my doorstep and somehow imanaedoread bits while holding said 5 week old connstantly. I was immediately comforted that it wasn't just me, that there were other parents out there with similar babies and that there were ways through these hard times.

Given that I never get chance to sit down and spend any length of time reading, I was dubious about wasting my money but its great for dipping in and out of as and when my baby will allow me.

If you find yourself with a baby that seems somewhat distressed and unsettled all the time, a baby that refuses point blank to be parted from you, a baby that bypasses crying and goes straight in for the SCREAM, and a baby with more willpower than you've ever seen before then this book is for you.

Not only will it make you feel better about yourself,it will help provide coping strategies and be your companion through the journey. You'll be given so much advice off people who have had or got 'easy babies' and you'll wonder why none of it works, as well as feeling pangs of jealousy that these other people have happy, content little babas - this book helps to deal with all of that.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful and reassuring., 25 Jan 1999
By A Customer
Sincere help and essential advice for overwhelmed parents. You may think you're too busy and stressed to read a book, but this one will give you lots of ideas to make your life more peaceful.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A must-read, 27 April 1999
By A Customer
I wish I had this book when my toddler son was a baby. I'd heard of it back then, but was skeptical-what a mistake!! The description of a high needs baby read like a description of my son. It was wonderful to know that he is perfectly normal, and probably a lot like I was as a baby. The only drawback is that there was not enough information on what to do with your high needs toddler if you misunderstood him as a baby. The information presented in this area was useful though.
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The Fussy Baby Book
The Fussy Baby Book by Martha Sears (Paperback - 1 Jun 2009)
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