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A multi-story tale of NCP Car Park hell (short story) [Kindle Edition]

Andrew Culture
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

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  • Length: 18 pages (estimated)
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Book Description

The (true) story of what happened to an idiot who got trapped inside a NCP car park in South London. Contains concrete, failed vandalism, twisted logic, first world problems, a fox and explicit scenes of idiocy. Based in Catford but contains no cats.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 2174 KB
  • Print Length: 18 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: CornDog Publishing; 5th Edition edition (29 Nov. 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00FKX5V8S
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #915,377 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

More About the Author

Some people happily drift from birth, into education, through career, to death, comfortable in the knowledge that the world feels a little safer for being predictable. Andrew is not one of those people. Andrew prefers to run at life face first, mop up the mess and then share the results with his readers.

Andrew Culture is a loud player of bass guitar, accident-prone bike-punk, award winning zine writer and astonished parent of an adventurous toddler.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars More of an autobiographical moment than a story 20 Oct. 2013
By V. Levy
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This isn't something that I'd buy for myself but would be more than willing to read should it be found in a dentist's or doctor's waiting room. It passes the time and entertains but I'd not feel deprived if my name was called in the waiting room and that I'd have to abandon it mid-read. I came close to finding myself locked in a multi storey car park just last night. I'd left ample time to recover my car and exit but I hadn't factored in looking for the car on the wrong level and being unable to find stairs or a lift to go to a lower floor. I recognised the mild panic as described in the book but I don't think that I'd have been able to expand the experience into more than an A4 page. The author does well to expand his unfortunate experience into a short story I'd have resigned myself to a night in the car, drinking the beer in the boot and urinating against the wall until the gates were unlocked the next morning - not much of a story there is there?
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars I was stuck there with you 5 Oct. 2013
By Mafro
Format:Kindle Edition
I first read this when it was published as a small zine, and it was a welcome surprise to see it on-line in digital format.

Andrews writing is funny, and allows you to become the character, or in this case him! I felt like I was stuck in that car park myself. I've spent far more nights than I care to remember trying to sleep in a cold car, and being 6'3" can relate to the fact that even the largest estate car lacks the room to get comfortable. Luckily none of them have been scared for my life in a dark and dingy car park.

Only a short story but a great read, I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Realistic - cos it's real! 5 Oct. 2013
By Lo
Format:Kindle Edition
It seems to me that you don't need to know Andrew Culture to get an idea of the kind of guy he is. Just have a read of this story.

The setting brings back memories for all of us who've been trapped or stranded somewhere for way longer than we'd like (me? Victoria Station, past 3am as an incredibly unworldly 18-year-old), and yet Culture manages to remain calm, thoughtful and - my favourite - gently amused by the whole thing.

This tale retains the zine/column feel of its original publication, which I like, and it stands up very nicely next to some of the other short story e-books I've read recently.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Nothing sharp about this short story. 24 Sept. 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This short story is a right of passage tale of the frustrations of British urban life. It is told in the first person of one man's late night parking problems. The setting is Catford, a part of south east London in the summer of 2007.

As short stories go, this one is POOR. I did not develop an empathy for the character as he did not display much street awareness. We can get man on the moon and men trek across hazardous mountains. To spend the night in an urban multi storey car park is NOT a life changing experience.

This short story is a demonstration of one man's grudge against a large nationwide company. It provides LITTLE reading pleasure and is no better than reading a rant on many of the blogs on the internet. The ideal forum for this short story would be on one of the many whistle blower blogs that are still active.

The writing style was your average man in the street which added to it's credibility. But there was NOTHING sharp to this story and it lacked bite. It fell below the standard of many weekly womens' magazines and the author did NOT show promise. As a short.story I consider this a FAIL and shall only vote it 2 stars. I suggest you give it a MISS as there are far better stories out there on the market. As a long standing milestone against NCP, it DOES it's job!
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By ColinJ
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I like the story, and I like the way it is written. It kept me entertained for its 18-odd pages, and I felt grateful that it hadn't been me stuck in the car park overnight.

I was agonising over what rating to give it. It couldn't be a 1 or a 2, because those ratings would imply that I didn't like it. I don't think it is worthy of a 5, because that should be reserved for the very best books. So - it is a 3 or a 4. Then I hovered my mouse pointer over the rating stars and saw that Amazon makes it simple - 4 stars means 'like' and 3 stars means 'ok', so I'll give it a 4!

I picked up my copy when it was available free, but I see that it currently on sale for £1.53 in the UK. I think that is a lot to pay for a short story. I would be happier buying a collection of 10-15 such stories for £2-£3.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
One of those accounts that makes you think: I'm glad it wasn't me! An amiable enough account of An Unfortunate Incident in the Nightime, and a cautionary tale for late night parkers.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great short story 5 Oct. 2013
By Neil E
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A cracking read about an area of London I know well (Catford, not the NCP carpark). An honest and amusing account of a night out that most people would dread, enjoyed very much.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Short but entertaining 3 Oct. 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
Be aware that this is a short story, not a novel or novella. An amusing read for a lunch-break, and a nice feeling of 'glad that didn't happen to me!'
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars light reading
I think it was free - so good value for money
Published 10 months ago by UK_Greg
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
As an upper-lower middle class chap myself I can associate perfectly with the author's feelings in this story. Terrifying! :D
Published 24 months ago by David Stretch
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
One minute extremely funny, the next I was hiding behind the sofa reading through clenched fingers. Great fun and I look forward to buying more from this author.
Published on 8 Nov. 2013 by Graham Watson screenman
4.0 out of 5 stars NCP Car Park Hell
I found this to be very humerous story of something that could happen to anybody. I could relate to the feelings of the author when he was going through the ordeal.
Published on 2 Nov. 2013 by Keith Oates
4.0 out of 5 stars You may never park happily again...
A short but enjoyable read about the perils of multi-storey car parks. It certainly put me off NCPs for life, and hasn't exactly endeared me to Catford either. Read more
Published on 30 Oct. 2013 by Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars A great read.
The author of this cautionary tale has the rare ability to make charming and funny observations out of otherwise mundane situations. Read more
Published on 20 Oct. 2013 by Steve L
1.0 out of 5 stars car park thingie
I've read worse but probably when I was forced by ennui in a waiting room. It's greatest virtue was its brevity.
Published on 16 Oct. 2013 by rp
4.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful read!
This is a great little read for any time you might have a little time to kill.

A really witty account of that sinking feeling you get when you know you're completely... Read more
Published on 15 Oct. 2013 by Luke Barshack
4.0 out of 5 stars Chuckle-inducing
A great anecdote written up into a very engaging and funny short story. Give this man a column in the paper, I say!
Published on 10 Oct. 2013 by Action Ben
4.0 out of 5 stars Fab quick read
Brilliant lunchtime, after dinner or bath time read. Straight and to the point, whilst drawing you in so you can really feel what the author went through. Funny and enjoyable!
Published on 10 Oct. 2013 by Jen
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