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My Lie: A True Story of False Memory Hardcover – 12 Oct 2010

3.2 out of 5 stars 5 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Jossey Bass; 1 edition (12 Oct. 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0470502142
  • ISBN-13: 978-0470502143
  • Product Dimensions: 16.3 x 2.5 x 23.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,129,549 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

Review

"In this terrifying, haunting, and controversial memoir, award–winning journalist Meredith Maran delves into the fascinating subject of the recovered memory movement.... Maran′s not just shockingly honest, she′s also funny. Her refusal to whitewash her own behavior, her fierce ability to expose all sides of the issue (she doesn′t deny that horrific abuse does occur and should be punished), and her compassion for the abused as well as those still falsely imprisoned as abusers opens up a dialogue about memory, belief, and past– and present–day culture that is as riveting as it is important." ( Boston Globe, September 21, 2010)

"Maran′s story is so tension–filled that I want to keep some of the twists out of this review, allowing readers of this remarkable book to discover them apart from me." (San Francisco Chronicle, September 19, 2010)

Review

Only a writer as fierce and incisive as Meredith Maran could have written a book as intimate, dark, bracing and revelatory as My Lie.
MICHAEL CHABON, author of Manhood for Amateurs; and The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay

Meredith Maran is a wonderful journalist and storyteller, profoundly honest, direct, witty, savvy and compassionate.
ANNE LAMOTT, author of Grace (Eventually) and Bird By Bird

My Lie is the brave and riveting "inside story" of the most devastating mental health controversy of the century. I couldn′t put it down.
ELIZABETH F. LOFTUS, PHD, co–author of Witness for the Defense and The Myth of Repressed Memory

To admit sin is hard. To own a grave sin committed against a loved one is more difficult still. To be able to write about it with honesty and grace is extraordinary. My Lie by Meredith Maran tells a story no reader will or should forget.
KATHRYN HARRISON, author of The Kiss and The Mother Knot

Meredith Maran is fearless, and My Lie is a shockingly honest, stunningly nuanced book. Every parent, and everyone who has a parent, should read this searing father–daughter story.
AYELET WALDMAN, author of Bad Mother and Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

"This marvelous, searing book held me in its thrall from the moment I read the Prologue, and never let go. Meredith Maran has written a page–turner of a memoir, at once brave and heartbreaking. Who among us hasn′t questioned her own memory? In navigating her family history, Maran becomes a detective, and MY LIE reads like a mystery all the more suspenseful because the writer has taken great care to tell the truth."
DANI SHAPIRO, author of Devotion: A Memoir

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Customer Reviews

3.2 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
It is difficult to conceive of a more biased, condescending and superficial review than Caroline's. Meredith Maran's book is a landmark publication and deserves serious consideration.

At the outset, it should be made clear that this is not a book about child sexual abuse (CSA) and incest. It is a book about false accusations of CSA and incest. Caroline seems to have missed this point entirely.

It is impossible to write a book like this without reference to genuine cases of CSA and incest, but these are not Maran's primary concern. This is to tell a story about false memory , a phenomenon that led to incredible harm to families caught up in the CSA hysteria that swept across the USA and other countries in the 1980s and 1990s. Although much abated since those early days, cases still arise. At worst, the falsely accused are still being sent to prison to join other falsely accused still incarcerated.

Caroline says "I would praise this book if she had stuck with her own experience" It is precisely because "she has stuck with her own experience" that Maran's book is so compelling. Caroline wishes that she had "...weaved this with an informed and balanced account of the cultural background and the science and politics around traumatic memory and sexual abuse," in other words that Meredith Maran had written an entirely different book! There are many books that deal with "the cultural background..... etc." as Caroline should know. Maran herself lists some relevant books on page 168 but many other titles could be added.

Caroline criticises Maran for not having followed incest research closely over the last ten years. Precisely! "My Lie" is about a false accusation of incest not incest itself, books about which are available in abundance.
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Format: Hardcover
This was a great book; it wove personal and media accounts of the "memories wars" of the 80's and showed how poor therapists and a mass desire to be overly defensive can cause untold damage to loved ones.

The end of the book gives ideas for discussion and even and offer to come along to book groups, not sure she'd tootle over to Durham England for a visit, but such a nice gesture at the end of an enthralling read.

I was left wanting to goole the protagonists mentioned whose stories had not yet closed and ordered other books mentioned, not yet thrown out my courage to heal but seeing it in a very different light now.
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Format: Hardcover
This book is a brave, honest tale of how the personal becomes political, and vice-versa - in a culture, and in one family's life. Meredith Maran is a reliable narrator of a heartwrenchingly honest story, from which any reader will learn more.
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Format: Hardcover
Meredith Maran's first-hand account of coming to believe, wrongly, that her father had sexually abused her, provides a reasonably interesting and self-critical assessment of her personal situation.

She deserves praise for taking responsibility for the accusation against her father, retracted after nearly ten years, and for not blaming others, including her many different therapists, who stayed neutral as she explored first the possibility he had abused her, then later the possibility she was dreadfully mistaken.

It takes guts to go public with such a terrible deed. We can feel pleased for her and her father that they have a good relationship now. The saddest part of the story is the effect on Maran's children and their cousins, whose relationships with one another, as well as with their grandfather, were deeply affected by the accusation and the prolonged estrangement.

I would praise this book if she had stuck with her own experience and had weaved this with an informed and balanced account of the cultural background and the science and politics around traumatic memory and sexual abuse. Instead, the use of news clippings from the 1980s to now is poorly presented and confusing in terms of any clearly stated conclusion about particular cases or issues highlighted. I find it incredible that in a recent interview she confessed that she has not been following incest research closely for the last ten years. When writing a book like this!

Maran argues, without producing any evidence, that tens of thousands of others, perhaps more, have made the same mistake as she did. In doing so, she is naively giving her backing to unsubstantiated claims from the False Memory Syndrome Foundation (FMSF) and their supporters.
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Format: Hardcover
Meredith Maran (2010) `My Lie - A True Story of False Memory.' Jossey-Bass; San Francisco, Ca. ISBN 978-0-470-50214-3. $24.95 (hb). 260pp

The premise of this book is that the author suddenly, at the age of 37, remembered being sexually abused by her father, spent the next 10 years in survivor therapy, and then realised that she had not been sexually abused and retracted her original accusations. It seems to be written as some sort of cathartic confessional for the author.

Whilst I can understand her need for this confessional, unfortunately, the book does not work for me on a number of levels.

Firstly, it is abundantly clear that Maran never did have any memories of abuse. She seems to be an impressionable individual who was working as a journalist editing and writing papers about sexual abuse for several years, immersing herself in the work with enthusiasm and zeal. She was also working within what would now be described as a fundamentalist feminist paradigm, where all men are bad, and sexually predatory. It seems that the seed of her own historical abuse was planted when the director of an incest treatment clinic remarked "we don't see a lot of reporters around here ... I'm wondering - is this a personal issue for you?" As she says on p45, she took up Roselyn's (book author) mission and made it her own, such that before long, she was asking herself (of her husband) "How can I trust you, sleep with you, love you, knowing that men do these things?" When she stopped working with the feminists, and started looking at the False Memory Syndrome Foundation, who are set up to deny the realty of childhood sexual abuse memories, which are then recalled in later life, she then decided that her `memories' were false!
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