George Robinson

A town full of planks, 1 Oct 2011

Where to start? It's got Ben Affleck in it, so hopes were never high to start with. And that bloke from Mad Men, who's playing Don Draper in an FBI jacket. Both seem to be outdoing each other to see who comes over more wooden. And after two long, long hours I'd have to say it's a tie. They're both as bad as each other.

Then there's the dialogue. Plenty of hammy Irish accents on show here, but thanks to the bizarre disjointed mumbling, it's nigh on impossible to work out what anybody's saying. Most of the "actors" - including our Ben, who for most of the film comes over like he's been lobotomised - seem to be practising to be ventriloquists. Their top lips don't move, their bottom… Read more