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Wayne Redhart (@wayneredhart on Twitter!) "@wayneredhart on Twitter!" (West Midlands, UK)

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CocoLite Virgin Coconut Oil For Cooking, Salad Dressing and Baking Plus Free Coconut Oil Recipe Ebook - Love It Or Your Money Back (500g)
CocoLite Virgin Coconut Oil For Cooking, Salad Dressing and Baking Plus Free Coconut Oil Recipe Ebook - Love It Or Your Money Back (500g)
Offered by Penniwise
Price: £9.99

5.0 out of 5 stars A quality oil with plenty of coconut flavour, 20 Jun. 2016
I'd have to say that I'm no stranger when it comes to coconut oil. In the event that the substance were a small child to whom I'd offered a bag of sweets, it would be quite unnecessary for it to politely decline (before reporting me to the nearest teacher). Then again, I've only had a single jar before, so we're not on super familiar terms either. If its parents felt uncomfortable with the prospect of my being left alone with it (following a perfectly good-willed offer to babysit, one evening), I certainly wouldn't take offence. Caution about the wellbeing of our children is something that we must exercise without fail. If an exception were to be made merely because the child in question exists solely as an elaborate metaphor through which to convey my personal level of familiarity with coconut-derived lipids, then where would it end? When it comes to child protection, EVERY child counts and there is NEVER just cause to exclude ANY child from the highest standards of safeguarding! That said, I do have a clean CRB check and would have been more than happy to have produced it, given half a chance. On reflection, it does seem quite remarkably small-minded upon their part.

Anyhow, compared to the coconut oil that I've tried previously, this one has much more of the coconut flavour left in. Depending on what you intend to use it for, that could be a positive or a negative. If you're planning on deep-frying a battered Bounty, for example, then you have nothing to fear. If you're planning on deep-frying a battered Boost, mind, firstly you'll have to check whether it's a coconut Boost or a biscuit Boost. If it's a coconut boost, then the oil would complement the flavour perfectly. However, given that coconut boosts were officially discontinued in 1995 (on the back of some highly disappointingly sales figures), it will most definitely have exceeded the sell by date. If you choose to proceed, you do so entirely at your own risk. Conversely, if you have a biscuit boost, then you'll have to ask yourself whether the twinned flavours of coconut and biscuit will be a marriage made in heaven or hell. As a rule of thumb, if you like deep fried jam mallow biscuits, then you should be fine. If not, you'd  probably be better off frying it in either more heavily refined coconut oil or (better still) in some fresh pork lard from the local butcher's.

However, deep-frying confectionery is not the only use for organic coconut oil. Far from it. Other potential uses include mouthwash, hair product, lubricant for intercourse and coffee creamer. It's a good quality product, so you simply need to ask yourself whether you want a more versatile multi-purpose coconut oil without the flavour, or whether you're happy to taste it. I won't take off a star, as it's more an issue of characteristics than of innate quality, but there are limits to this style. While it would be perfect to include in a Thai Green curry, the subtle infusion of coconut that permeated my sausage, bacon and egg fry-up made the whole thing bloody disgusting. Although this doubtless contains more nutrients, for everyday cooking I'd still keep a jar of that cheap crappy version that they sell in Tesco for a couple of quid.


Expander Elastic Pull Rope ,Uvistar Home Fitness Resistance Bands Foot Pedal Exerciser Bodybuilding Expander Latex Tube Elastic Pull Rope Training Equipment Yoga Crunches Abdomen Waist Arm Leg Tummy Stretching Slimming Pull up Spring Expander
Expander Elastic Pull Rope ,Uvistar Home Fitness Resistance Bands Foot Pedal Exerciser Bodybuilding Expander Latex Tube Elastic Pull Rope Training Equipment Yoga Crunches Abdomen Waist Arm Leg Tummy Stretching Slimming Pull up Spring Expander
Offered by uvistar
Price: £9.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A handy exercise device, 20 Jun. 2016
I was sent this item for free by the seller, although there's absolutely no need for you to lie restless in bed tonight over the matter. Sleep soundly, my child, for I shall be as impartial as an educational pamphlet regarding the positives and negatives of retaining EEC membership (that was printed by UKIP). This is a rather reasonably priced exercise device, which targets a range of different muscles. I've been using it primarily for rowing style actions (technically the correct term is "sculling", although anyone who's got a log up their backside about the issue can feel free to express complaint within the comments section, and then see if I care). As someone with a tendency to hold one shoulder slightly forwards, it's a great way to better develop the appropriate muscle groups. Although it could potentially get a little tedious after a while, I like to play some music during usage, to keep me engaged. "Row, row, row your boat" is an absolutely first rate motivational song. Alternatively, in the event that God has spoken to me on that particular day (and the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ feels strong within my heart), "Michael row the boat ashore" is an another great source of inspiration. It's also useful to visualise some kind of scenario, beyond the exercise itself. If I catch myself slacking I like to imagine that I'm headed straight towards the edge of Niagra falls, and must quite literally row for my life. If that wasn't tough enough, sometimes I've also found myself being pursued by an air-bound demon (with the face of Aled Jones, the torso of Anne Widdecombe, the genitals of a donkey and the hands of Sir Clement Freud). Considering how surprisingly aerodynamic the beast is, if that kind of motivation doesn't go on to see me as fit as a violin, then I'm quite sure that nothing ever will.

Overall this is a great item but be aware that it's not hugely difficult, for use in more serious strength work. To give an approximate sense of scale for the level of resistance to expect, simply picture having been drafted by a middle class housewife into a reasonably conservative rape fantasy. The sort of one where although a few objects get knocked off from the dining room table, the conclusion sees neither party significantly bruised, bleeding or sitting down in a shower and sobbing.


Yoopik Comprehensive 15 piece Lock Pick Set with 2 Clear Practice and Training Locks, Lock Picks Carrying Case and an eBook How-To Guide
Yoopik Comprehensive 15 piece Lock Pick Set with 2 Clear Practice and Training Locks, Lock Picks Carrying Case and an eBook How-To Guide
Offered by GG import
Price: £28.95

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A lovely set, 13 Jun. 2016
Firstly, I was sent this item at a heavily discounted rate by the seller, although I promise to be every bit as free of bias as a Stanford educated judge, during the sentencing of a fellow alumnus for rape. Having previously attended a couple of lockpicking classes, I was eager to get hold of some equipment to continue practising with. I've lost count of the number of times when I'd previously been in a hurry to get to work and thus forgotten to pick up my keys. If I'm in a similar hurry these days, I'm effectively guaranteed an alternative means of entry. Well, assuming that I will remember to grab the set of emergency lockpicks, during the frantic scramble in which I will have neglected to pick up my keys.

Unlike regular locks, those included have a transparent exterior through which to view the pins. Much like the kinds of women who are to be found on Broad Street (wearing comparably see-through clothing), as long as the internal parts are appropriately lubricated then it's quite straightforward to gain unmitigated access. However, this makes them (nb. with "them" I allude to the locks and harlots alike), absolutely perfect for practising one's basic skill set upon, before progressing onwards and upwards towards greater challenges. Not unlike an expert lothario, the master locksmith too must ultimately learn that the truest art is performed via a profound acuity of physical touch. But then, where would either be without their tools? Well, this is a good sized fifteen piece kit. To give a sense of scale, that's roughly the lockpicking equivalent of a fifteen piece jazz orchestra (give or take a couple). The contents are comprised of three torque pins, plus twelve picks- in a whole range of weird and wonderful shapes. To be honest, the kind of geometry associated with some of the obscure ones reminds me a little of the more extreme dildos within my wife Doreen's extensive collection. The similarities don't end there, mind. In both cases although ownership itself is technically legal, it is a serious crime to employ such devices as part of an attempt at uninvited entry. Unlike my wife, I personally tend to prefer the simplicity of applying a smaller single-pointed prong, although it's nice to have all those fancier options available as something to "fall back upon" .

Anyway, if you're looking to learn an honest trade, then these really do come highly recommended. I could scarcely overstate quite how many new doors have opened up to me, since purchase.


1Night ❤ John Silikon ❤ Real Penis Classic Vibrator medical grade silicone - 20cm Ø 3,5cm
1Night ❤ John Silikon ❤ Real Penis Classic Vibrator medical grade silicone - 20cm Ø 3,5cm

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice massager, 1 Jun. 2016
At the outset, I must declare that I was sent this item for free by the seller. However, I can assure you that I will be every bit as impartial as an MP with a large portfolio of residential properties, during a parliamentary vote on tenant's right. Anyhow, this is a rather effective battery operated massager. In my opinion it does look a tad phallic compared to other models on the market. Regardless, if you're able to look past this fact then you'll find that it does a great job of softening up the neck muscles. The manufacturers state that it's also suitable for internal "massage", although I left that aspect to my wife Doreen. She seemed suitably relaxed after use, although I'll be buggered if it's going to be loosening up my own innards. For those who count themselves as practitioners of the brown arts, I do advise a degree of caution. In 2013 a Forest Hill resident was admitted to hospital, some five days after having left a dildo trapped inside his colon. Sadly it was already too late and he died of septic shock. It's events like this which make me feel that we need to return to public information broadcasts on the television. Had Britain at large been provided with appropriate warnings about the importance of tying an emergency length of string to their dildos, it could have been a whole different story. With a suitably catchy slogan to imprint the safety message into everyone's minds, he would almost certainly have been alive today.

So folks, enjoy yourselves but remember:

"Before you ram one up your crack, make a plan to get it back".


PowerLead Cbsw PL-S2 Circular Screen Waterproof Bluetooth Smart Watch Phone Wrist Wrap Outdoor Smartwatches with Camera for Smartphones Android Samsung S3/S4/S5 Note 2/Note 3 Note 4 HTC Sony(Black/Black Metal Strap)
PowerLead Cbsw PL-S2 Circular Screen Waterproof Bluetooth Smart Watch Phone Wrist Wrap Outdoor Smartwatches with Camera for Smartphones Android Samsung S3/S4/S5 Note 2/Note 3 Note 4 HTC Sony(Black/Black Metal Strap)
Offered by PowerLead-UK
Price: £48.66

2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Almost completely useless, 26 May 2016
I was sent this watch for free by the manufacturer in return for a review. However, you'll see how little that swayed my opinion when I tell you quite what a pointless piece of crap this is. Now, I do expect the best when it comes to watches. Recently, a friend gave me a fake Armani watch as a gift- which I promptly returned to him. As someone with high standards, I simply don't have any "time" for that kind of nonsense. Indeed, the watch I'm wearing right now is a fake Rolex- that was illegally ripped off in a Chinese factory, from an altogether superior quality of authentically Swiss horology. However, as a lifelong fan of Inspector Gadget, I was intrigued by these new computerised watches. With my mind every bit as open as the fire door which leads from a severely inefficiently performing office into a smoking area, I decided to see what they're capable of.

Well, next to nothing, it turns out. Firstly, if you were looking forward to having a video chat, then you can forget it. Apparently not even the Apple watches can do this yet, so I can't blame this particular model. However, it's a really rather poor showing on the part of science in general. By now, we ought to be capable of producing bumbling cyborg police detectives with extendable limbs and helicopters in their hats. It's rather disappointing that we have yet to even achieve a watch suitable for video chats with a poorly disguised dog (about how to thwart an evil scheme to infiltrate a circus with MAD agents).

Anyway, all the other faults are very much specific to this particular model. The camera is utterly useless. It points out at 90 degrees, meaning that you have to look at the screen from one side to aim it- via a view that is flipped by 90 degrees from the natural perspective. Although you can type text messages, you have to use the old Nokia style system of repeatedly tapping a number until the appropriate letter comes up. With no voice recognition, sending a text via the watch will tend to take approximately 100x as long as the altogether more minor ordeal of picking up your phone to text. What's the point of doing things through a watch if it is significantly less convenient than using the handset (that it will have to be connected to anyway)? I won't bother to assess all of the other features that your phone can already do, but you can rest assured that at best they will marginally extend the life expectancy of a pocket (by protecting it from the abrasion of having a phone in and out). At worst it performs a notably inferior job, compared to cutting out the middle man. Even in terms of the watch function, I really don't like the way the lower portion of the clock is cut off. It literally looks as if someone has dropped it once too often and buggered the screen.

In terms of the few things it can offer, it's possible to check your pulse (although the supposed ECG option is an out and out lie, that merely repeats a fixed preset animation of a pulse, while displaying your heart rate numerically). According to the manual, you can also check your "cervical temperature". Initially I assumed this might be something to do with fertility, for couples trying for a baby. However, after having finally managed to retrieve it from inside my wife Doreen, we both came to the conclusion that it was just a dodgy translation issue. Perhaps most remarkable of all is the sleep monitoring function. Thanks to the wonders of technology, when morning arrives the watch will be able to tell you how much time has passed since you activated it. Yes, it gives every bit as much indication of how well you slept as turning on a stopwatch when you go to bed. Well, technically, it will also say that your sleep was "good", if you kept your arm relatively still during the night. Or that your sleep was was "poor", if you moved it around too much. That's it. No graphs, no data, no recordings of snoring or sleep talking (like you can get from free apps that use your smartphone). As far as I'm concerned, adding confirmation of whether your sleep was interrupted at any point by a bout of ambidextrous self-gratification does not offer any more meaningful insight than the basic stopwatch.

Particularly unforgivable is the failure to include the additional spare strap, as advertised. If it's not on offer, the very least they can do is to update the product listing, in order to comply with the trade descriptions act. I hadn't been quite so annoyed by the reneged promise of a leather strap since that time I was invited to a rather exclusive underground party (held in what proved to be one of the most poorly equipped sex dungeons in waking memory). Anyway, in short, my assessment of the watch is identical to that which it would automatically give to the sleep quality of a Parkinson's sufferer. Poor.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 24, 2016 5:55 PM BST


Tingg Microfibre Quick Drying Lightweight Compact Travel Towel Medium size 50 X 100cm blue with Carry Pouch. Great for Sports | Gym and Camping
Tingg Microfibre Quick Drying Lightweight Compact Travel Towel Medium size 50 X 100cm blue with Carry Pouch. Great for Sports | Gym and Camping
Offered by Tingg Ltd
Price: £12.99

4.0 out of 5 stars Functional but a little on the small side, 12 May 2016
This isn't the first time I've been sent a free microfibre towel for review, although it could very well prove to be the last (in the event that future sellers should read either of my assessments). The previous one I received was a rather flamboyant shade of purple that would probably be enough to make Elton John blush. Although I've been using it in the gym, whilst wearing it I've had to take extra care not to so much as glance in the direction of a fellow patron's low hanging fruit. Even a passing moment of eye contact once resulted in a stare so frosty, that you'd imagine I must have winked and gestured towards the toilet cubicle. This one is far more traditionally heterosexual shade of blue, however. The colour is identical to that of the hat worn by the character Chloe in the game "Life is Strange". If that's too niche a reference however, it's also relatively similar to that of the dress that was famously worn by Monica Lewinski (albeit a tiny bit greener in hue). Don't let that put you off, mind, as I'm confident that the manufacturers would be happy to offer a money back guarantee against the possibility than one of their towels should test positive for traces of Clinton's presidential residue. I couldn't give a similar guarantee that my towel hasn't come into contact with any of my own fluids, mind. But having never lied about it under oath, you'd be welcome to take it to any laboratory in this land. It's not a crime to soil a towel and I don't care who knows what kind of hot mess I might have spilled upon mine.

When it comes to drying yourself after a shower, there's never been any shortage of controversy about the "right" way to do it. At school, I recall a rather misguided young lad having asserted that you should dry your upper body first, as water will continue to drip down onto the legs. Factually accurate as this may be, the logic is horribly wrong, of course. Firstly, it's the legs which will pass the most water to the floor (owing to their closer proximity to the earth's core). It makes far more sense to prioritise them for a precursory wipe, before later returning for an additional pass. When water from the upper body drips down, thus wetting the legs for a second time, this actually spreads the volume across a larger surface area- improving the overall rate at which passive drying will occur. Have you ever seen one those instructional signs beside a hand dryer- that advises you to rub your hands together whilst placing them within the air jet? This is indeed excellent technique, for the very same reasons. By having water pass from wetter regions to dryer ones, the liquid will evaporate far more readily. This absolves your towel of the need to absorb quite such a large volume of water and instead allows science to perform some of the work for you! If you want a real pro tip, as a preemptive strike I also like to run a flannel across my body, before even bringing the towel to the battlefield.

Now that you're familiar with my approach, I can tell you that this towel was sufficient to dry my body either with or without the prior intervention of a flannel. Not only did my experiments confirm the efficacy of the towel, but they reaffirmed my unwavering belief that the legs should indeed be the first port of call. There was scarcely a drop of water upon the floor afterwards. Although fit for the job, I was just a little disappointed by the size (of 1m by 50cm). However, this was largely compensated for by adherence to the simple and uncomplicated aspect ratio of 2:1, just like that of a tournament snooker table. Modern cinema has introduced all manner of needless mathematical difficulty. They currently favour 2.37:1, following on from the previous 16:9 (1.77:1) trend. This towel falls rather neatly in between the two- providing a stark reminder of how utterly unnecessary it is to introduce advanced mathematics into technology, on a casual whim. If 2:1 is a good enough aspect ratio for towels and snooker tables, then I'm sure it would also be more than adequate for the latest television screens.

Overall, it's a good towel, but I would have to recommend purchasing a slightly larger size- particularly if you intend to wear it about your midriff whilst otherwise naked, as a means of concealing your genitalia. As a travel towel, it seems a bit odd not to go a step further. It's extremely small when folded up, so that little bit extra wouldn't have made a lot of difference. Surely the likes of Michael Palin would prefer something a little more substantial than a hand towel to bring all the way around the world? It doesn't quite manage to even make it all the way around my waist- leaving a rather alarming gap down the side of one leg, much like the style of skirt that promiscuous women are often seen to sport. I have continued to receive some suspicious looks, in the gym changing rooms.


[1-Year Warranty] VTin MOUL Bluetooth 4.1 Wireless Sport Headphones Sweatproof Stereo Earbuds Headset In-ear Secure Fit Running Gym Exercise Earphones with APT-X, CVC 6.0 Noise cancelling, Built-in Mic for iPhone 6s, iPhone 6s Plus, iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 5 5c 5s 4s ipad, LG G2, Samsung Galaxy S6 S5 S4 S3 Note 3 and Other Android Cell Phones
[1-Year Warranty] VTin MOUL Bluetooth 4.1 Wireless Sport Headphones Sweatproof Stereo Earbuds Headset In-ear Secure Fit Running Gym Exercise Earphones with APT-X, CVC 6.0 Noise cancelling, Built-in Mic for iPhone 6s, iPhone 6s Plus, iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 5 5c 5s 4s ipad, LG G2, Samsung Galaxy S6 S5 S4 S3 Note 3 and Other Android Cell Phones
Offered by VICTECH
Price: £22.99

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Solid performance, 19 April 2016
I was sent this item for free by the seller, although you have my word that I shall be every bit as impartial as Francis Ford Coppola, during auditions for the role of Michael Corleone's daughter in the Godfather part III. I've had plenty of free headphones over the years, although (not unlike the medieval torture kit that I recently purchased) this pair appealed specifically for the inclusion of ear hooks. These can be really rather useful, particularly during such extreme sports as goose pulling, dwarf throwing and men's netball. They proved more than adequate to keep everything in place. However, the buds don't always stay deep inside my ear and I sometimes had to push them back in a little, to get the fullest sound quality. Also, be aware that the noise cancellation doesn't really seem to do much. Perhaps it's specific to making calls, but I couldn't pick up any effect when listening to music on the bus. Far from the rumble of the bus' engine having been cancelled, it was able to proceed fully in accordance with its originally scheduled sonic timetable.

In terms of performance, the frequency response shares significant common ground with a 70s style pin up girl- ie rather nicely rounded about the middle, with plenty to grab your attention up top. However, those who are concerned with the emancipation of women will be disappointed to learn that she is a bit of a bimbo- for these aren't underpinned by an overwhelming amount of depth. Still, it's a solid performance for the price range and I'll stick with these for whenever I'm out running backwards, in preparation for next year's retro-marathon.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2016 1:43 PM BST


DAOTS 28" Wig Long Heat Resistant Big Wavy Hair Women Cosplay Wig (Blue)
DAOTS 28" Wig Long Heat Resistant Big Wavy Hair Women Cosplay Wig (Blue)
Offered by DAOTS-UK
Price: £12.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A lovely wig, 16 April 2016
Firstly, I have to declare that I was sent this for free by the seller. However, please be assured that my views shall be every bit as free of bias as a juror on an international piano competition, whose own student is amongst the finalists. I've always been something a fan of such unnatural hair colours as pink, green and blue. Unfortunately, they do sometimes suffer a bad reputation, thanks to the preponderance of highly unattractive women- hoping to use it to draw the male attention that their faces and bosoms fall tragically short of commanding. However, put one upon an extremely attractive female and it really is the icing on the cake. The marshmallow on the hot chocolate. The sprinkling of hundreds and thousands upon the slice of Arctic roll.

Anyway, I've been getting my young secretary to put it on in the bedroom and she really does look superb. The shade is almost as deeply blue as our roleplay has been. I like to fantasise that she's an evil intergalactic sex robot from the future, that was sent back in time to rewrite the course of history- by quite literally pleasuring my brains out. It's really rather a devious ploy, actually. With my carnal desires being fully sated, I'll never have a chance to develop the powerful sense of resentment, that I was some day to have channelled into founding a resistance movement against cybernetic oppressors. When the fated hour arrives (in which mankind is enslaved by computers), I just won't be burning with the kind of furious sexual frustration that might have led me to fulfil my destiny as a revolutionary saviour. This image has been playing out with quite some success. If you've ever found it arousing to know that you're letting your wife down, just imagine how magnificent it feels to "sow the seeds" for the downfall of the entire human race!
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LuckyFine Male Styrofoam Foam Mannequin Manikin Hat Wig Display Stand Head Model
LuckyFine Male Styrofoam Foam Mannequin Manikin Hat Wig Display Stand Head Model
Offered by Tiopeseer
Price: £4.29

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice male head, 13 April 2016
Firstly, I was given a code by the manufacturer to receive one of these "au gratin"- an Italian expression which means that no currency changed hands. However, rest assured that my appraisal shall be every bit as objective as that which a young parent would give to their three year old child's first drawing. Made from styrofoam, this is quite a nice little item. In the event that the makers of Doctor Who were to blow their entire budget for the next series, by accidentally signing up Jackie Chan as the Doctor's new assistant, they could do a lot worse than to pick up a bundle of these to serve as makeshift adversaries. At four pounds a pop (assuming the probability that BBC producers would meet the list price without question, rather than strive to negotiate a more appropriate trade discount for license fee payers) it would still make for a bargain basement approach. Admittedly (owing to the martial arts experience to put a bare fist through a whole stack of bricks) if left untempered, Chan would quickly leave nothing but a cheap artificial blizzard in his wake- making for a disappointingly brief episode. However, the writers could doubtless come up with a tenuous excuse for Chan's arms and legs to be bound within a special sub-atomic forcefield- leaving the Doctor free to stretch a flimsy plot across two remarkably dialogue-heavy episodes. Eventually he would make peace with the disembodied heads through diplomatic means, although I'm sure there would also be ample time to weave another flagrant display of homoerotic affection into the fabric of the storyline.

Anyway, I had initially intended to use this for storing my glasses upon. Sadly, however, the ears don't protrude terribly much. Although I was able to pose it briefly for a photo, the absence of an auricular pivot point meant that they soon fell off. I'll take that one on the chin, mind, as it was technically in contravention of the official list of outlined functions. I wouldn't be too surprised if I've even gone and voided the warranty. However, I did notice that it looks subtly different to that in the product photos. Not only are the ears a little bit smaller than those pictured, but mine is also missing the distinctive philtrum between the nose and upper lip. If you were to use some of that special facial recognition software that has proved beyond all reasonable doubt that Paul McCartney really WAS replaced by a double, there's not a chance that the images would give a match. On the plus side, this one does come with a rather stronger chin that includes a characterful indentation beneath the lower lip- which is pleasingly reminiscent of that found upon the death mask of Ludwig van Beethoven. Perhaps they're all just made bit different in their own unique way, similarly to cabbage patch dolls or people?

Functionally speaking, it stores my ladies' wig rather nicely, as you'll see from the included photo. However, as I'm sure that Germain Greer would wish for me to remind you- don't think for a moment that putting a female wig upon a masculine polystyrene head will change the true gender- of what is clearly designated by the product description as "male styrofoam". If I were to walk it into a changing room filled with naked women, far from accepting his presence in there they'd probably just start screaming their heads off. In case that were a little too ambiguous in its exclusory message, the transphobic blare of a full harmonised chorus of rape alarms would definitively signal that male display dummy heads are not welcome- wig or not.

With the 21st century now in full swing, you should certainly feel at liberty to put whatever type of wig you should please upon it. But if you are planning to take it into gendered toilet facilities then I'm afraid that the majority of women will still tend to regard it as an unwelcome male oppressor. Still, at least it will command higher wages than these closed-minded witches, for doing an identical job!
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CreepyParty Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Dog Head Mask (Shiba Dog)
CreepyParty Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Dog Head Mask (Shiba Dog)
Offered by CreepyParty
Price: £9.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A nice mask, 6 April 2016
I was sent this item for no charge by the seller, although rest assured that the views I express shall be every bit as objective as those of a randy groom- whose rather portly new wife wants to know whether her rear end looks big in the wedding dress (that it has irreparably damaged the seams of) before getting down to the act of consummation. Firstly, this mask doesn't strictly resemble the rare Japanese Shiba breed all that closely. If anything, I'd say it looks a lot more like a fox to me. Still, excepting the possibility that you're a non dog owner who had been hatching a devious plot to compete at Cruft's this year, I don't really foresee any major problem with that. As the manufacturers point out themselves, there's a quite a strong rubbery smell out of the box. In fact, you might say that it smells almost as strongly of latex as an adult film star after a specially themed educational video (that was aimed at promoting the virtues of safe coitus, via a new world record for providing hospitality to the most sheathed gentlemen in succession). Still, give it a couple of days to air out and the aroma will have faded sufficiently for normal use to ensue (and likewise with the mask).

Anyway, there was recently an event for which my "partner in crime" Doreen and I both needed a mask. I went for the monkey one that I've also reviewed so I gave this to my wife. Although the mouth hole is relatively small, it was still possible to converse with adequate clarity during usage. To be honest, she's always had a voice like a shoe horn, but when she bellowed "RIGHT, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!!!" the response was more than adequate. She tells me that her vision was slightly restricted during use, but that's a relatively small price to pay for keeping all distinguishing facial features well and truly concealed from the view of the public and security cameras, alike. In fact, it would be a small price to pay for keeping them from my own view a little more often, so I'm also trying to persuade her to wear it about the house.


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