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Profile for Wayne Redhart (@wayneredhart on Twitter!) > Reviews

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Wayne Redhart (@wayneredhart on Twitter!) "@wayneredhart on Twitter!" (West Midlands, UK)

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[1-Year Warranty] VTin MOUL Bluetooth 4.1 Wireless Sport Headphones Sweatproof Stereo Earbuds Headset In-ear Secure Fit Running Gym Exercise Earphones with APT-X, CVC 6.0 Noise cancelling, Built-in Mic for iPhone 6s, iPhone 6s Plus, iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 5 5c 5s 4s ipad, LG G2, Samsung Galaxy S6 S5 S4 S3 Note 3 and Other Android Cell Phones
[1-Year Warranty] VTin MOUL Bluetooth 4.1 Wireless Sport Headphones Sweatproof Stereo Earbuds Headset In-ear Secure Fit Running Gym Exercise Earphones with APT-X, CVC 6.0 Noise cancelling, Built-in Mic for iPhone 6s, iPhone 6s Plus, iPhone 6, 6 Plus, 5 5c 5s 4s ipad, LG G2, Samsung Galaxy S6 S5 S4 S3 Note 3 and Other Android Cell Phones
Offered by VICTECH
Price: £22.99

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Solid performance, 19 April 2016
I was sent this item for free by the seller, although you have my word that I shall be every bit as impartial as Francis Ford Coppola, during auditions for the role of Michael Corleone's daughter in the Godfather part III. I've had plenty of free headphones over the years, although (not unlike the medieval torture kit that I recently purchased) this pair appealed specifically for the inclusion of ear hooks. These can be really rather useful, particularly during such extreme sports as goose pulling, dwarf throwing and men's netball. They proved more than adequate to keep everything in place. However, the buds don't always stay deep inside my ear and I sometimes had to push them back in a little, to get the fullest sound quality. Also, be aware that the noise cancellation doesn't really seem to do much. Perhaps it's specific to making calls, but I couldn't pick up any effect when listening to music on the bus. Far from the rumble of the bus' engine having been cancelled, it was able to proceed fully in accordance with its originally scheduled sonic timetable.

In terms of performance, the frequency response shares significant common ground with a 70s style pin up girl- ie rather nicely rounded about the middle, with plenty to grab your attention up top. However, those who are concerned with the emancipation of women will be disappointed to learn that she is a bit of a bimbo- for these aren't underpinned by an overwhelming amount of depth. Still, it's a solid performance for the price range and I'll stick with these for whenever I'm out running backwards, in preparation for next year's retro-marathon.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2016 1:43 PM BST


DAOTS 28" Wig Long Heat Resistant Big Wavy Hair Women Cosplay Wig (Blue)
DAOTS 28" Wig Long Heat Resistant Big Wavy Hair Women Cosplay Wig (Blue)
Offered by DAOTS-UK
Price: £12.99

5.0 out of 5 stars A lovely wig, 16 April 2016
Firstly, I have to declare that I was sent this for free by the seller. However, please be assured that my views shall be every bit as free of bias as a juror on an international piano competition, whose own student is amongst the finalists. I've always been something a fan of such unnatural hair colours as pink, green and blue. Unfortunately, they do sometimes suffer a bad reputation, thanks to the preponderance of highly unattractive women- hoping to use it to draw the male attention that their faces and bosoms fall tragically short of commanding. However, put one upon an extremely attractive female and it really is the icing on the cake. The marshmallow on the hot chocolate. The sprinkling of hundreds and thousands upon the slice of Arctic roll.

Anyway, I've been getting my young secretary to put it on in the bedroom and she really does look superb. The shade is almost as deeply blue as our roleplay has been. I like to fantasise that she's an evil intergalactic sex robot from the future, that was sent back in time to rewrite the course of history- by quite literally pleasuring my brains out. It's really rather a devious ploy, actually. With my carnal desires being fully sated, I'll never have a chance to develop the powerful sense of resentment, that I was some day to have channelled into founding a resistance movement against cybernetic oppressors. When the fated hour arrives (in which mankind is enslaved by computers), I just won't be burning with the kind of furious sexual frustration that might have led me to fulfil my destiny as a revolutionary saviour. This image has been playing out with quite some success. If you've ever found it arousing to know that you're letting your wife down, just imagine how magnificent it feels to "sow the seeds" for the downfall of the entire human race!
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LuckyFine Male Styrofoam Foam Mannequin Manikin Hat Wig Display Stand Head Model
LuckyFine Male Styrofoam Foam Mannequin Manikin Hat Wig Display Stand Head Model
Offered by Tiopeseer
Price: £4.29

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice male head, 13 April 2016
Firstly, I was given a code by the manufacturer to receive one of these "au gratin"- an Italian expression which means that no currency changed hands. However, rest assured that my appraisal shall be every bit as objective as that which a young parent would give to their three year old child's first drawing. Made from styrofoam, this is quite a nice little item. In the event that the makers of Doctor Who were to blow their entire budget for the next series, by accidentally signing up Jackie Chan as the Doctor's new assistant, they could do a lot worse than to pick up a bundle of these to serve as makeshift adversaries. At four pounds a pop (assuming the probability that BBC producers would meet the list price without question, rather than strive to negotiate a more appropriate trade discount for license fee payers) it would still make for a bargain basement approach. Admittedly (owing to the martial arts experience to put a bare fist through a whole stack of bricks) if left untempered, Chan would quickly leave nothing but a cheap artificial blizzard in his wake- making for a disappointingly brief episode. However, the writers could doubtless come up with a tenuous excuse for Chan's arms and legs to be bound within a special sub-atomic forcefield- leaving the Doctor free to stretch a flimsy plot across two remarkably dialogue-heavy episodes. Eventually he would make peace with the disembodied heads through diplomatic means, although I'm sure there would also be ample time to weave another flagrant display of homoerotic affection into the fabric of the storyline.

Anyway, I had initially intended to use this for storing my glasses upon. Sadly, however, the ears don't protrude terribly much. Although I was able to pose it briefly for a photo, the absence of an auricular pivot point meant that they soon fell off. I'll take that one on the chin, mind, as it was technically in contravention of the official list of outlined functions. I wouldn't be too surprised if I've even gone and voided the warranty. However, I did notice that it looks subtly different to that in the product photos. Not only are the ears a little bit smaller than those pictured, but mine is also missing the distinctive philtrum between the nose and upper lip. If you were to use some of that special facial recognition software that has proved beyond all reasonable doubt that Paul McCartney really WAS replaced by a double, there's not a chance that the images would give a match. On the plus side, this one does come with a rather stronger chin that includes a characterful indentation beneath the lower lip- which is pleasingly reminiscent of that found upon the death mask of Ludwig van Beethoven. Perhaps they're all just made bit different in their own unique way, similarly to cabbage patch dolls or people?

Functionally speaking, it stores my ladies' wig rather nicely, as you'll see from the included photo. However, as I'm sure that Germain Greer would wish for me to remind you- don't think for a moment that putting a female wig upon a masculine polystyrene head will change the true gender- of what is clearly designated by the product description as "male styrofoam". If I were to walk it into a changing room filled with naked women, far from accepting his presence in there they'd probably just start screaming their heads off. In case that were a little too ambiguous in its exclusory message, the transphobic blare of a full harmonised chorus of rape alarms would definitively signal that male display dummy heads are not welcome- wig or not.

With the 21st century now in full swing, you should certainly feel at liberty to put whatever type of wig you should please upon it. But if you are planning to take it into gendered toilet facilities then I'm afraid that the majority of women will still tend to regard it as an unwelcome male oppressor. Still, at least it will command higher wages than these closed-minded witches, for doing an identical job!
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CreepyParty Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Dog Head Mask (Shiba Dog)
CreepyParty Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Dog Head Mask (Shiba Dog)
Offered by CreepyParty
Price: £9.99

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice mask, 6 April 2016
I was sent this item for no charge by the seller, although rest assured that the views I express shall be every bit as objective as those of a randy groom- whose rather portly new wife wants to know whether her rear end looks big in the wedding dress (that it has irreparably damaged the seams of) before getting down to the act of consummation. Firstly, this mask doesn't strictly resemble the rare Japanese Shiba breed all that closely. If anything, I'd say it looks a lot more like a fox to me. Still, excepting the possibility that you're a non dog owner who had been hatching a devious plot to compete at Cruft's this year, I don't really foresee any major problem with that. As the manufacturers point out themselves, there's a quite a strong rubbery smell out of the box. In fact, you might say that it smells almost as strongly of latex as an adult film star after a specially themed educational video (that was aimed at promoting the virtues of safe coitus, via a new world record for providing hospitality to the most sheathed gentlemen in succession). Still, give it a couple of days to air out and the aroma will have faded sufficiently for normal use to ensue (and likewise with the mask).

Anyway, there was recently an event for which my "partner in crime" Doreen and I both needed a mask. I went for the monkey one that I've also reviewed so I gave this to my wife. Although the mouth hole is relatively small, it was still possible to converse with adequate clarity during usage. To be honest, she's always had a voice like a shoe horn, but when she bellowed "RIGHT, EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR!!!" the response was more than adequate. She tells me that her vision was slightly restricted during use, but that's a relatively small price to pay for keeping all distinguishing facial features well and truly concealed from the view of the public and security cameras, alike. In fact, it would be a small price to pay for keeping them from my own view a little more often, so I'm also trying to persuade her to wear it about the house.


CreepyParty Deluxe Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Animal Monkey Mask
CreepyParty Deluxe Novelty Halloween Costume Party Latex Animal Monkey Mask
Offered by CreepyParty
Price: £9.99

5.0 out of 5 stars Monkey magic, 4 April 2016
I was sent this item for free by the seller, although (just like a judge of a beauty contest who received a special "surprise" from one of the contestants inside a small cupboard, shortly before his announcement) you can be assured that my views are completely unclouded by external factors. I had already been in need of a mask, so considered myself rather lucky when the offer came through. This is a nicely built piece of latex, that makes for an entertaining likeness of a chimpanzee face. It would doubtless be suitable for fancy dress parties and niche branches of sexual role play alike. While apes are perhaps best known for their lighthearted affinity for dressing up in human clothing and shifting pianos upstairs, let's not forget that (following the onset of adult maturity) they have a propensity for violence which is no laughing matter. Indeed, there are recorded instances of them quite literally chewing a human face off. There could be a rather pleasing irony, mind, in the event that a person who had been aggrieved as such were to wear one of these for the rest of their life (in substitution for a rather expensive face transplant), so I'd definitely recommend one to victims of chimp attacks, in particular. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. Such a defiant gesture would send out the message, loud and clear, that when an ape takes a human face, we'll fight back by shrouding the disfigurement using the face of his own kind.

That said, if I lived in the state of Texas, I'd happily testify my wishes in court to see the monkey death row. Hopefully the little sod would be assaulted in the showers on a daily basis (by gang members who wouldn't take kindly to having monkey faeces hurled in their direction). It would only be a matter of time before he'd be gassed within an inch of his life and then hung by the neck from an electric noose. Poetic justice is all very well, but I'd sooner be out petitioning for fatal justice any day.


Swimming Goggles with FREE Protective Case & Ear Plugs, Anti Fog Busters, Mirror Lens Glasses With 100% UV Protection, Easily Adjustable Silicone Head Strap & Watertight Leak proof Seal, Clear Vision, Pro Unisex Adult Swim Goggles Black by Bezzee Pro
Swimming Goggles with FREE Protective Case & Ear Plugs, Anti Fog Busters, Mirror Lens Glasses With 100% UV Protection, Easily Adjustable Silicone Head Strap & Watertight Leak proof Seal, Clear Vision, Pro Unisex Adult Swim Goggles Black by Bezzee Pro
Offered by Bezzee
Price: £24.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars a nice pair of underwater goggles, 4 April 2016
I was sent this product for free by the seller, although I will endeavour to remain as impartial as a bank's board of executive directors, during a meeting to decide how much of a pay rise they should award themselves. The goggles arrived in a rather sturdy looking plastic case, which certainly lived up to its appearance. After finally having resorted to the idea of smashing it open with a brick, however, I was eventually able to extract them. A little drastic perhaps, but I didn't greatly need that part anyway. Some things look great when mounted in a transparent case, such as rare stuffed animals or an extensive collection of Diane Youdale (Jet from Gladiators) memorabilia. However, I was never really planning on putting these goggles on display in the first place.

Aside from the goggles, you also get a pair of ear plugs. I can't comment upon those, however, as they went straight into the bin. It's a mystery to me as to why anyone would take steps to prohibit the free movement of fluids into their ears. If you're going under water then surely you might as well exploit the opportunity to clean some of the wax out? After all, who in their right mind would insert a precautionary butt plug prior to going for a quick dip? These are exactly the kinds of orifices that should have an "open door" policy, that would welcome in the cleansing properties of chlorinated water. It makes absolutely no sense to try to impede its natural flow with aural/anal barriers.

Anyway, to the goggles themselves. They're extremely easy to adjust to an individual head. Simply pull one bit slightly, so the other bit goes longer or shorter and you can count on a perfect fit. The mirrored effect is rather pleasing, akin to the one way glass typically found either on limousine windows, or upon the wall of the honeymoon suite of an expensive hotel (while the manager lurks inside an adjacent cupboard, secretly filming). Admittedly, they don't offer the same level of a camouflage as a one way wall mirror. If you were to stand beside the bed of a newly married couple, with the expectation of an opportunity to spectate with impunity, I'm afraid to say that your presence would be nothing short of conspicuous. However, with your eyes shielded from view, you could certainly carry an air of VIP like mystique about your person, whilst being escorted from the premises by a police officer. The glass is also shielded from UV light, which means that you are protected not only against the blinding power of the sun's rays, but also from any potential urine inspections that may take place about your home.

As a frequent swimmer, I've been rather pleased with the performance. No issues with leakage/fog etc and I'd go as far as to say that they're waterproof. It has the promised 180 degree field of vision (although it's a slight pity that they chose not to upgrade the specs to a full 360 degree panorama). In the past swimming a kilometer or more tended to be as boring as ditchwater, with my eyes having to close whenever beneath the surface. With the chance to keep them wide open throughout, swimming is now a whole lot more mentally engaging. These come highly recommended, and particularly at 3 pm on a Tuesday afternoon (if you can get a place in the lane next to the local university undergraduate female team).


VicTsing Portable Mini Dehumidifier 22w Whisper Quiet Air Dryer for 20 Square Meters Area
VicTsing Portable Mini Dehumidifier 22w Whisper Quiet Air Dryer for 20 Square Meters Area
Offered by VICTECH
Price: £45.99

4.0 out of 5 stars An okay water collector, 29 Mar. 2016
Firstly, I must declare that I was sent this free of charge by the seller. However, please accept my assurance that I shall remain every bit as unbiased as the selection process for Oscar nominees. Recently, there's been a somewhat musty stench in the Redhart family cellar, that I'm keen to expunge. Only the other day I'd picked up a chest infection that saw me coughing up every colour of a brown rainbow. The sooner I can dry the place out, the better. Anyway, the device bills itself as portable, which is perfectly accurate (as long as you have an equally "portable" supply of mains power to plug it into, whenever taking it about your person). I'm not altogether sure about "whisper quiet". I don't have a decibelometer to perform measurements with. But, volume aside, it certainly doesn't have the same seductive quality as the gentle whisper of a coquettish Amsterdam whore, as she touts for business. Indeed, it's a little more reminiscent of the adenoidal whining of a girl who I once met in the local cheesemongers. To her credit, she didn't ask for a penny in recompense for her time, although it was far from a soothing experience for my sense of hearing. Well, come to think of it, she wasn't especially easy on any of the five senses, with the lone exception of touch- a respect in which she was able to serve as a both capable and willing outlet for the provision of sensory stimulus. Anyway, the point is that you'd probably want to have it removed from your bedroom before trying to nod off to sleep (which is probably also true of this dehumidifier, too, come to think of it).

In terms of yield, the results are less than spectacular. After a day, I'd collected about enough moisture to fill around two of those ridiculous little cans of coke that they fob you off with on flights with "free drinks". However, my young son Crispin was extremely glad of the device. Ever since we decided that the "naughty step" was a shade too lenient, we've been detaining him inside the cellar for a few days, for each and every transgression. Although in the past he had typically been expected to drink his own urine, in order to live to fight another day, of late he has oft been threatening to send a rook to amnesty international, bearing word of his plight. Call it Stockholm syndrome if you will, but since having installed this clever contraption, the lad has been ever so grateful to me- for being so soft as to leave him with up to 270ml per day of clean drinking water, during such periods of incarceration without trial.

Anyway, if you've recently been flooded then this will probably make about as much of a dent into the situation as a Facebook petition will make into Government policy. However, if you have mild damp issues, then it does a reasonable, if relatively unspectacular job.


Premium Beard Oil - The Maverick Beard Co - 100% Natural - For Men - Conditions and Softens your Beard and Moustache - Cedarwood and Lime - 30ml.
Premium Beard Oil - The Maverick Beard Co - 100% Natural - For Men - Conditions and Softens your Beard and Moustache - Cedarwood and Lime - 30ml.
Offered by The Maverick Beard Co
Price: £11.99

5.0 out of 5 stars A good beard oil, 28 Mar. 2016
Before we commence proceedings, in order to avoid any undeclared conflict of interest I must state that I was sent this product for free by the seller. However, with my hand clasped upon my heart (and the national anthem playing over Spotify, whilst I type with my spare hand) I swear upon her majesty the Queen's life that this review shall be every bit as free of bias and prejudice as an article by Katie Hopkins, regarding the subject of immigration. Although I've had a beard for quite some time now, I have often suffered considerable annoyance during the recuperative period, post-trim. And yes, that's right. I trim my beard. It's not one of those ridiculous hipster things, where you simply leave it to grow out and then tie it together in a massive clump beneath the chin (bound merely with an elastic band, that was recycled from a bundle of organic asparagus). Anyway, as I was saying, it can be incredibly itchy after a trim. Almost as itchy as wearing a pair of long John's woven from asbestos, brambles and pubic hair. After applying a little oil, it does plenty to help prevent stray hairs from popping up towards the nostrils. It also softens everything into a rather pleasant and altogether less bristly texture. The smell is quite good- something of a cross between Vick's vapour rub and smoked bacon, with subtle intonations of both the outer coating of a chocolate lime and the internal filling of a sugared almond (nb if you're not familiar with the latter- what I'm referring to, in an obtusely long-winded fashion, is the almond).

Overall, it's a good product, although in my opinion HMRC are entirely within their rights (both legally and morally) to collect tax upon it at the standardised UK VAT rate of 20 percent (assuming that the seller should be among the minority of Amazon vendors who conduct their business in compliance with financial law). It's certainly fair to regard this as more of a luxury than a mainstay of a subsistence bearded lifestyle. If I found out that Britain's criminals were being provided with the stuff at the taxpayer's expense (after rallying Shami Chakrabarti and the rest of that whinging lot at "Liberty" to have the European Court of human rights to rule that it's an infringement of a serial rapist's human rights to have to endure the indignity of an unkempt and poorly conditioned beard), then I'd have an email on its way to Richard Littlejohn within the hour. I've already drafted one just in case, you see, so I'd literally just have to press send. Regardess, my advice to anyone who's struggling for cash would be to use olive oil (legally exempted from VAT, as a food product) or even a dash of Crisp 'n Dry. In all seriousness, it performs a similar function perfectly well. However, if you're a man of means (with sufficient financial command as to reach with confidence towards your favoured brand of cheddar, for instance, without even caring to observe which one is currently on Tesco's buy one get one free rota), then this may be the very source of beard lubricant that you've been looking for.


[Update Version] VicTsing Smart Automatic and Electric Touch Switch Pencil Sharpener Red
[Update Version] VicTsing Smart Automatic and Electric Touch Switch Pencil Sharpener Red
Offered by VICTECH
Price: £8.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cocaine for pencils, 14 Mar. 2016
I was sent one of these sharpeners free of charge by the manufacturer, although you can rest assured that I'll be every bit as neutral as a divorced female judge, in presiding over a custody battle between a young child's mother and father. As someone who owns a very large number of unusable pencils, it was a pleasant surprise to be offered quite such a big-balled bastard of a power sharpener. Although my grandfather had passed on the now nearly extinct art of using a Stanley knife to carve a pencil, somehow it never really used to do the job. Much like a devious school assembly preacher after a long underhand analogy about football (that was designed to manipulate an impressionable young mind into paying attention) it never culminated in a worthwhile point being made. I did previously own a standard pencil sharpener, but it went missing some years ago and I've simply been using blunt pencils ever since. In the event that I were to have used one of those during the perpetration of a pre-planned execution, the coroner would most definitely have classed the murder weapon as a "blunt instrument".

After inserting the batteries, I was pleased at how quick and effective it proved to be. Simply press the pencil in (while holding firmly to prevent it from rotating) and it quickly emerges with an extremely fine point. In fact, I'd probably go as far as to say that it's almost as sharp as the protruding edges of the Chinese knock off "Minions" toys, that I picked from the local market. I'd try not to draw anything too Freudian into the process of sharpening, mind, as it could potentially be almost as psychologically damaging as a viewing of the film "Teeth ". It took no less than six months of celibacy on my part, before Doreen was finally able to entice me back in, following that. Anyway, needless to say, if I were to commit a homicide today, utilising a freshly sharpened Helix HB, it would be classified as a "stabbing". A rather grisly and inefficient method, admittedly, but with a clean and precisely aimed strike to the jugular vein (ideally aided by catching a sleeping victim off guard), the average human body would soon bleed its last. Thanks to the traces of graphite left amidst the wound, any good forensic pathologist would deduce the weapon, however. In order to dispose of the evidence, the entire remainder of the pencil would best be run through the sharpener and then burned. A quick rinse of the interior with bleach (to remove all traces of DNA) and you've literally committed the perfect crime.

Anyway, unlawful killings aside, this is a genuinely great sharpener. If your primary criteria is to own a sharpener that is plated with gold, then you would be better off with one of of these . However, if you simply want a fine tip from which to draw, then this is much like a snort of cocaine for your pencil (ie you can expect a state of extreme sharpness within mere moments of having administered it).


Frostfire Rechargeable Mooncandles Colour - Colour Changing Flameless Candles with Timer and Remote - 4/5/6 inch
Frostfire Rechargeable Mooncandles Colour - Colour Changing Flameless Candles with Timer and Remote - 4/5/6 inch

5.0 out of 5 stars A nice set of candles, 14 Mar. 2016
Length:: 0:33 Mins

Please note that I was provided this item free of charge, in return for a review. To be honest, I wasn't immediately enthusiastic about the idea of owning some fancy candles. In fact, you might say that I was about as enthused as a proponent of Sharia law, who had just found out that Sir Elton John, Boy George, Neil Tennant, Sam Smith and George Michael had formed a new super group and were planning on giving a special performance in their local mosque. However, Doreen has recently been complaining that there's not enough romance in our relationship (insisting that's it's been as stale as loaf that had been kept for a fortnight in a defective bread bin). As you'll see from the video (taken shortly prior to the most extraordinarily romantic evening in) these genuinely do make for a rather nice atmosphere.


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