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Reviews Written by
The Movie Guy "Movies from A to Z" (United States)

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Delirium [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Delirium [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by EliteDigital UK
Price: £19.95

The film is a stinker, don't let anyone fool you. I loved this film because it classifies as "so bad it is good." As such I might toss a plot spoiler at you.

Six college kids who don't all know each other, travel to San Diego for a break before exams. Kirk (Louie Del Monico) is driving the Mustang and is a steroid a-hole. His girlfriend Reyna (Wren Napier) is a spoiled rich kid. Sandra (Heather Self) has her eye on Lucy (Tallia Cuellar) who tells her she is straight. She takes a liking to Brad (Donovan Smith) our urban representative. Dennis (Luke Slinko) is the picked on geek. Only Scooby-Doo could not see all the clues tossed at us about what was to happen.

Our gang who is already at each other throats, stop at a restaurant where you have to turn the sound up to hear the conversation. They get directions for a shortcut through the desert and are told not to go. Who was surprised when the Ford broke down?

First off the acting was really bad. Heather Self was laughable. The film also gives us a sighting of what looks like slender man, the alter ego of the killer, which we had pegged in the first two minutes...okay maybe three. However what really caused me to laugh out loud was the sound effects man. Rick Bowman take a bow.

The sound was very choppy in addition to the bad sound at the restaurant. The Mustang sounded like it was throwing a rod when a hose clamp came off. When the gang was walking down some railroad tracks, it was loud and sounded more like an army marching. What really made me laugh were the typical hitting sound effects that go with a fight. We get that hard skin on skin punching sound when there is a soft knee jab to the gut.

Brad let's us know there are two types of rich people. Those that use wealth to enrich themselves and those use wealth to define themselves. And there was one scene I had to rewind and watch again. Yes it was the nude scene, but it was the hard core talk that went with it, and not the visual.

Guide: F-bomb. Nudity (Wren Napier) 4 stars for the wrong reasons.

American Warship
American Warship
Offered by VipBluray
Price: £6.99

4.0 out of 5 stars THE BIG STICK IS UNDER WAY, 24 Nov. 2015
This review is from: American Warship (DVD)
This film is an Asylum mock-buster of the film "Battleship" and addresses some of the issues of that film, such as how does a Battleship welded to a pier suddenly has fuel and weapons? In this film the Enterprise (and task force) is up against an enemy with a cloaking device and the enemy has to become visible to fire its weapons. Where have we seen this before? We suspect the Chinese are involved. Now as any Trekkie knows the Romulans (not to be confused with Romney supporters) had such a device. Trekkies also know that the Romulans represented the Chinese. I love these movie tie-ins. Plus 1 star for a Star Trek tie-in.

What this film lacks, that "Battleship" possessed is a killer sound track, witty dialouge, and likeable characters. The USS Iowa is undergoing a world tour as a museum piece when the attacks occur. All solid state electronics are fried, so it is up to old technology and SEAL Team 6, who happens to be on board to save the planet. Mario Van Peebles is the captain of The Big Stick and has a love interest in Lt. Caroline Bradley (Johanna Watts) which is not fully developed. Carl Weathers (Apollo Creed) has a small role as General McKraken. David Polinsky starts out the film as a 4 star admiral and by the end of the film he is a three star admiral. Asylum normally confounds their naval ranking insignias. Not as good as "Battleship." The special CG effects are still Asylum grade, especially the fake looking fire on the deck of the ship.

No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Kid safe. 4 stars on the Asylum scale.

Red Herring [Region 1]
Red Herring [Region 1]
Price: £19.79

2.0 out of 5 stars I HATE WHAT I DO, 24 Nov. 2015
This review is from: Red Herring [Region 1] (DVD)
Jack (Robert Scott Howard) is a Vegas detective who is constantly telling us he hates his job. He has a reputation of being honest and hangs out at the private and exclusive Red Herring lounge. A string of murders points to a businessman friend. Detective White is called in to work with Jack who wants to excuse himself from the case because he knows the suspects.

The acting was very stiff. G. Eric Miles who played Detective White was noticibly bad. The dialogue was bland as was the sound track. The whole film had a made-for-TV quality to it. Jack suffers from lame flashbacks. He sees a man in a mask and we don't know if that is the real killer or a symbol of an unknown killer. On occasion, Jack gives us some first person narration with a faux noir quality to it.

And yes with a title like RED HERRING one expects a major twist.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity. Attempted rape.

Poltergeist Activity [DVD]
Poltergeist Activity [DVD]
Dvd ~ Natalie Martins
Price: £5.95

1.0 out of 5 stars MOM NEVER MADE ME EAT VEGETARIAN, 24 Nov. 2015
This review is from: Poltergeist Activity [DVD] (DVD)

A dad (Lee Bane) and daughter (Natalie Martins) move into a new home after 1 day of acting school. Mom has recently passed. Daughter is moody, takes pictures and hates the porcelain clown doll. Things happen. Medium and investigator come over. There is some "Otto" writing which we knew what it was going to say after "You" "Are" ... Sound track too loud and horrible. What was that sound? Was that a humpback whale noise trying to be scary? Could the sad piano player learn a tune or was that asking too much? Why was Jared Morgan talking like Treebeard?

The ghosts were people in masks. No special effects.

Guide: F-bomb. No nudity. Was that supposed to be poltergeist sex?

The Dead Lands [DVD]
The Dead Lands [DVD]
Dvd ~ James Rolleston
Price: £5.99

4.0 out of 5 stars TELL THE DEAD I AM COMING, 23 Nov. 2015
This review is from: The Dead Lands [DVD] (DVD)
This is a long epic tale that takes place in New Zealand before there were settlers. Two warring tribes come together for peace, only for one tribe to do the genocide thing on the other. The King's son manages to escape and vows revenge. As the victors return home, the son follows them through the cursed "Dead Lands" filled with witches and a huge cannibal warrior.

The film was extremely interesting for the first 50 minutes. I thought it should have been shorter. The film is told with subscripts. Lawrence Makoare who played Lurtz in LOTR, plays the warrior. The end has a slight twist.

No swearing, sex, or nudity. $9.88 US Walmart with VUDU

Steel Frontier [DVD] [1994] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Steel Frontier [DVD] [1994] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dvd ~ J.K.Rowling
Offered by EliteDigital UK
Price: £35.95

2.0 out of 5 stars IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH THE PACK, YOU GOT TO BE ONE OF THE DOGS, 23 Nov. 2015
This is a post apocalyptic world that apparently has radiation and mutants, although an explanation is not warranted. It appears the business of tire recycling is hopping in the desert town of New Hope. They are confronted by Death's Raiders who fly a black flag with a red crescent moon. They are lead by General Quantell (Brion James) because it sounds like Quantrill. A loner (Joe Lara) with the long haired Jesus look comes to town and gives us a Hollywood formula performance. The Raiders have some over-the-top characters that one expects in this type of film as well as the automobiles. Nothing outstanding.

Guide: F-bomb. No nudity. Implied rape.

Andy Milligan Grindhouse Experience Triple Feature [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Andy Milligan Grindhouse Experience Triple Feature [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Price: £10.12

1.0 out of 5 stars MILLIGAN CULT CLASSICS POORLY RESTORED, 23 Nov. 2015
These are three short films which are supposed to be "cult classics." The restoration and sound is bad as are the films themselves. The plot back little sense and one film has shameful anachronisms. Unless you are a Milligan fan, this is not worth it at any price. 3 films on one disc. Some minor nudity.

Guru the Mad Monk [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Guru the Mad Monk [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]

1.0 out of 5 stars LOST SOULS CHURCH, 23 Nov. 2015
I am not sure of the time period. It is supposed to be 15th century, but in one scene a motor bike is in the background. An island is set up to punish bad sinners and is run by the Mad Monk (Neil Flanagan). There is a story about a woman stolen by gypsies, then escaped with her dead baby or something. The restoration was bad as was the sound, story and acting. Supposed to be a cult classic, I think it is just a stinker. Yes, it did have the Milligan hunchback character.

The Body Beneath [DVD] [1970] [US Import] [NTSC]
The Body Beneath [DVD] [1970] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by supermart_usa
Price: £5.88

1.0 out of 5 stars OUR HOME, OUR HERITAGE, 23 Nov. 2015
Rev. Alexander Algernon Ford (Gavin Reed) is a vampire attempting to look for a stronger bloodline within his own. He has imprisoned Susan Ford (Jackie Skarvellis) a pregnant relative and plans to use her as breeding material.

The acting was terrible as was the plot, make-up, and sound. Film includes a hunch-back and cemetery ghouls. Shows Ireland and America in a bad light. Cult film.

Brief nudity (Jackie Skarvellis)

Pinnochio [DVD]
Pinnochio [DVD]
Dvd ~ Mario Adorf
Price: £5.00

2.0 out of 5 stars YOU HAVE A LOT OF WOOD, 23 Nov. 2015
This review is from: Pinnochio [DVD] (DVD)
This is a German made TV mini series filmed in Turkey about an Italian toy maker and badly dubbed in English. I think ,most us know the story. This one includes the whale ending, the mules, and Coco the wood cricket. It was geared for a very young audience, maybe about 5 years old. It doesn't have much in the way of adult appeal. If you have seen the old Disney version, or not, watch it again instead.

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