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Reviews Written by
The Movie Guy "Movies from A to Z" (United States)

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Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension [Region 1]
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension [Region 1]
Price: £33.24

3.0 out of 5 stars THE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, 12 Feb. 2016
The film opens in Santa Rosa 1988. A cult like family are encouraging their special daughter to talk to an invisible entity named "Toby." In 2013 a new family moves into said house and find their camera and VHS tapes. This is a special camera is equipped with "spirit photography" capability. Their daughter Leila (Ivy George) starts speaking to "Toby" as brothers Mike (Dan Gill) and Ryan (Chris J. Murray) film spirits and watch the old tapes of a young girl who eerily describes what she sees in their time period.

The film attempts to have a few cute moments before it gets serious, but the script wasn't there. The feature is all low budget hand held camera including the green cam, but doesn't give us the dreaded foot cam. The movie isn't too deep and allows the viewer to get caught up with the events. Could have been better without the insistence of using a cheap camera for the entire film.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity. Olivia Taylor Dudley is an attempt at eye candy.

The Killing Machine - Re-Generator (blu-ray) (import) Gruner, Oli
The Killing Machine - Re-Generator (blu-ray) (import) Gruner, Oli
Offered by gebraucht-medien-ankauf
Price: £12.69

1.0 out of 5 stars IT WAS THE BEAST, 12 Feb. 2016
Mr. Karr (Brad Potts) tells the story of the re-generator to a reporter at a restaurant. The scene highlights the problems low budget productions have in filming indoors, mainly sound, awkward close-ups, and bad writing. The Re-generator (Olivier Gruner) is a military killing machine that can re-generate itself in twenty seconds. When a plane carry him crashes in Juniper Point, Colorado he becomes a killing machine on the local teen campers.

This film is part sci-fi, part slasher with neither one being good. The killings are not graphic. The plot was boring and the characters dull due to terrible trite dialogue and sad acting.

Not worth viewing.

Parental guide: F-bombs, clothed sex, drug use. No nudity.

Offered by Topbilliger
Price: £13.31

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars NO HISTORIANS ON THE SET, PLEASE!, 12 Feb. 2016
This review is from: Centurion (DVD)
This movie is a me-too movie attempting to capitalize off the success of pseudo histories such as Robin Hood and Arthur. My first objection to the movie is the font they chose to write the subtitles, locations, and plot points. It was difficult to read on my analog TV, especially when they opt for white on a pale blue background using an ancient looking font that is difficult to decipher in the first place. Now the reason why we have subtitles is for the Picts, who are native of Northern Britain. They don't speak English, but the Romans speak 21st century English, including one soldier with a British accent. "Sorry mate, but orders are orders," he says as he slices a Pict throat. OH PLEASE! If the Picts don't speak modern English, don't try to make it realistic with subtitles only to have the Romans speak English. The language spoken by the Picts is actually unknown.

A Roman governor wanting to make a name for himself, opts to send the 9th Roman legion into the Pict stronghold in order to kill their king. The Roman governor uses a female Pict slave (whose parents were murdered by Romans, with her being raped as a child and her tongue cut out) to guild them into Pict territory. Guess how that works out Scooby-Doo? The ninth legion is wiped out except for the general who is taken captive and 7 Romans (who look more like an international group). They opt to do the stupid thing and attempt to rescue the general in the heart of a Pict camp. After they fail at that, they are hunted by Picts. For those who like killing, blood, urine, and violence this is your film. The overly simplistic plot, lack of good characterization, making us identify with the bad guys who we know will lose, poor attempts at humor, makes this the least enjoyable of the pseudo histories to date. They spent a lot of money making this film and wasted it on an inferior script.

The story of the missing ninth Roman legion being destroyed by the Picts is legend. It actually got transferred to Judea.

King of the Avenue
King of the Avenue
Offered by Beat The Bomb
Price: £17.74

2.0 out of 5 stars BAD GENRE MIX, 12 Feb. 2016
This review is from: King of the Avenue (Blu-ray)
When they mixed the supernatural with a crime movie, you sometimes get great results such as "Crow" which added the right about of sex, nudity, violence, music, and weird. Sometimes you don't get good results such as this movie. Simon Rex plays Taz, a wannbe-drug king. His dad, or step-dad, is played by the tough guy Ving Rhames, who starts out the movie as dead, comes to life in a flashback, then really comes back to life as a demon. Taz, in order to save his family from being murdered, makes a deal with the devil, (who would BTW already would have his soul) to become the new drug king of Miami. Ving as the demon goes around to eliminate the competition, although as it turns out Taz doesn't have the stomach for the job.

Blood, killing, brief sex scenes, brief nudity and not enough of anything worth while.

Not a good supernatural film, not a good crime film. The movie has us identify with a drug king who is both a bad guy and a coward. It just doesn't work well.

Shark in Venice (DVD)
Shark in Venice (DVD)
Offered by nagiry
Price: £9.26

2.0 out of 5 stars NATIONAL TREASURE PLUS SHARKS, 10 Feb. 2016
This review is from: Shark in Venice (DVD) (DVD)
Shark in Venice and Sharks in Venice are the same film.

Dr. David Franks (Stephen Baldwin) travels to Venice to hunt for his missing shark bait dad. He find's Italy's Hidden National Treasure (stolen from Muslims) and doesn't want to go after it because there are always man eating sharks in the water and no one knows anything about lowering a shark cage or chumming to lure the sharks to a different location.

The Eighth Crusade was said to be in 1271. It was actually 1270. Also Marco Polo was born in 1254 making him 17 in 1271. He was on his way to Asia and did not take Solomon's treasure to Venice. If you are going to make stuff up, do some research.

As a treasure hunting film it didn't make it as the treasure was discovered early in the film. The shark attacks were murky and generic. Can be missed.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

Cryptic [DVD]
Cryptic [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ed Stoppard, Robert Glenister, Jerry Anderson, Ray Panthaki, Philip Barantini, Daniel Feuerriegel Actors Vas Blackwood
Price: £7.00

4.0 out of 5 stars STOP SHOOTING MY DEAD BROTHER!, 9 Feb. 2016
This review is from: Cryptic [DVD] (DVD)
Contains comedy lines from the film. No end spoiler.

Seven crime figures are ordered by Gordon (Jerry Anderson) to guard a coffin until he arrives. An eighth person, an educated junkie (Ben Shafik) is also present when Steve Stevens (Ed Stoppard) their banker locks them in. The characters are quite colorful and Meat (Vas Blackwood) comes up with the dumbest questions. For instance:

Stevens says"I've got good news and I got bad news, what do you want first?"
Criminal: " The bad news."
Stevens "The bad news is, there is no good news."
Meat: "Okay, what's the good news?"

The film is done grindhouse/Tarantino style with a shoot out, blood, and western metal music. The mystery item is "the coffin." Meat initially claims he ordered it off "the dark web" and it is a V-A-M-P-I-R-E slaying kit as Meat doesn't want to say the word and gets upset when anybody else says it. Tensions mount and suspicions fly as they suspect one among themselves is a v-a-m-p-i-r-e.

Cochise (Ray Panthaki) a sex trafficker laments he has lost "a quarter of my business. Do you know how much that is? That's 25%" He also informs use that "hermaphrodites don't grow on trees."

The film is shot in one setting. It is a crime thriller/comedy. If you love Tarantino, you should get some enjoyment from this one.

Guide: Plenty of swearing. No sex or nudity.

Ninja Apocalypse [DVD]
Ninja Apocalypse [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ernie Reyes Jr.
Offered by DVDBayFBA
Price: £2.89

2.0 out of 5 stars Devastation. Mutation. Termination., 9 Feb. 2016
This review is from: Ninja Apocalypse [DVD] (DVD)
Years after "the Great War" (Not WWII but that other great war) the world, or at least one community is divided into Ninja Clans with some having magical role playing game powers. The master (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) calls for a conference for the clan to unite against a prospective outside foe. During his speech, he gets Ninja starred in the head. Cage (Christian Oliver) is accused of the crime and he must fight his way out of a 100 levels which include zombies, just because zombies are hot as are girls in leather. The film is too much like a computer game.

It is a future which still has running vehicles, but no guns.

Guide: No swearing, sex, or nudity. Sexy siren women with cleavage in leather.

Price: £10.14

3.0 out of 5 stars DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE DEAD. FEAR THE LIVING., 9 Feb. 2016
This review is from: SILENT RETREAT (DVD)
The film starts out with an incident at a mental hospital and then changes. The hospital has been converted into a retreat where a company is holding a getaway to brainstorm increased production. The cast of politically incorrect characters and comments made the film interesting. Teddy (Eli Bildner) and Lira (Devon Ogden) are polar opposites who annoy everyone. Rita (Trista Robinson) has a high squeaky voice and loves Jesus.

The connection of the past to the present was not as clever as the writers thought and the climax ruined a great cast of characters. I give credit to the director and cast, but the plot wasn't exciting.

Guide: F-bomb, sex, distant nudity ( Devon Ogden?)

The Haunting Of Ellie Rose [DVD]
The Haunting Of Ellie Rose [DVD]
Dvd ~ Lucy Benjamin
Offered by Wowudo
Price: £4.00

1.0 out of 5 stars MOM CHANGED, 9 Feb. 2016
This is a confusing mess by design. Ellie Rose's mom (Kika Mirylees) changed when she was a child. She has a sister Chloe (Alexandra Moen) who apparently mom liked best. Ellie (Lucy Benjamin) has flashbacks to her husband Frank (Bill Ward) apparently slapping her and causing a miscarriage, although the flashbacks hide faces. Then there was the night her and Chloe go to visit mom and she finds blood everywhere, and if you missed that flashback, wait as it is repeated as it takes up half the film.

As I watched the film I was confused as to what was flashback, what was real and what was the present, and what was a dream. In the end things did come together and the imagery made sense. I can even say it was smartly done for what they wanted to do. However the fact is I struggled through the film and wasn't entertained seeing the same faceless scenes repeated over and over. Nice era recreation. Did they have underground power lines to remote areas?

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

Brainstorm [DVD] [2016]
Brainstorm [DVD] [2016]
Dvd ~ Thomas Stroppel
Price: £12.99

This review is from: Brainstorm [DVD] [2016] (DVD)
David Thorogood (Thomas Stoppel) and Ryan Cates (Artie Ahr) are performing unauthorized computer mind reading experiments with "borrowed" equipment from the university they attend. They are both dirt poor. Ryan cares for his invalid grandmother (Erma Sullins) while David is behind on his rent. His wife (Christine Haeberman) and child (Mykayla Sohn) are being neglected. Ryan meets Jordan (Amber Marie Bollinger) and brings her into the group.

The government, of which we get glimpses, gets involved and things change.

I liked this "low budget" sci-fi indy. It had characters I could relate to. Like good sci-fi it asks questions. In this one it is about government surveillance and control. Where does free will lie? If the government could read and control thoughts, would they? This film is built upon our current government surveillance and Edward Snowden...traitor or patriot? And who was Earle M. Jorgensen?

I didn't know that neurons snap and crackle like electricity and lightning.

Guide: A couple of F-bombs. No sex. Nipple slip ( Christine Haeberman) PG-13 stuff. Strong 4 stars.

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