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The Movie Guy "Movies from A to Z" (United States)
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Road Wars (BR) DE-Version
Road Wars (BR) DE-Version

2.0 out of 5 stars CHOCOLATE AND NUTS, 2 July 2015
Asylum mockbuster of "Mad Max." Girls with excessive eye make-up, water and gas at a premium, folks living in the desert, demolition derby vehicles. Add in Zombies known as Night Runners and Day Walkers. One guy appears to be immune and human factions in conflict. Occasional grindhouse soundtrack, cardboard characters. People with various accents. A lot of talking and riding in a car. Spend the money and watch "Mad Max..." instead.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.


Midnight Chronicles [DVD]
Midnight Chronicles [DVD]
Dvd ~ Charles Hubbell
Offered by Buks4less
Price: £0.98

2.0 out of 5 stars COULD WE HAVE ONE QUEST THAT ENDS IN PLEASURE?, 2 July 2015
This review is from: Midnight Chronicles [DVD] (DVD)
The film gives you a quick background into the good vs. evil aspect then thrusts you into a story where it takes you a while to figure out the good guys from the bad guys. It copies some of the LOTR aspects in that it includes orcs (bad), elves (good) and humans on both sides. Priests who serve the Shadow are called "legates" with Charles Hubbell playing the lead role of questioning loyalty.

There is a prophecy which The Shadow fears, that is where a group of diverse characters lead by one man on a quest will overthrow him and rule Middle Earth er uh.. Baldur's Gate, no wait the world of Aryth. The one legate side kick had a sense of humor and was the only worthwhile character in the group.

The dialouge was otherwise dull and dry: "He has help me hide what must remain hidden." Or "In the shadow of the shadow he shall dance with the beast..." There is one scene with the side kick and Chuzara where we get to see the microphone overhead. The elves use bows (how did they come up with that?) and speak with bad poetic syntax. We never got to see the "little people."

Very little fighting. This appears to be just the first part. A real disappointment of a film. The acting was sad too.

No swear words, sex, or nudity.


Hottestmail.com
Hottestmail.com

3.0 out of 5 stars NEVER TAKE A WRONG STEP IN HASTE, 2 July 2015
This review is from: Hottestmail.com (DVD)
This is another fine Bollywood film. It has three random musical dance numbers, horrible swagger music, an overdeveloped meaningless subplot, at least two hours in length, and sporadic English words and sentences sprinkled into the mix. It seems Hindi has no words for "Hallo", "Please", "Property", and "Cancelled."

Sagar is a computer engineer. He has invented a great program no one will invest in. His girlfriend is Kiran, (Reshmi Ghosh) a former Miss India. His friend Lucky is a hacker and uses the Internet to meet women. In Bangkok, he was found the lovely Lisa, who claims her boss will invest in Sagar's project. Our heroes travel to Thailand only to find out it is a trap set by an evil money laundering Muslim, Mr. Martin.

Like most Indian films there is no sex or nudity. There is a scene where Sagar and Kiran are in a shower and then a tub. While in the tub, Kiran is wearing a towel while Sagar gropes her shoulders.

The green skinned, green eyed bad guy in this film looked and acted like he was from Rigel. He was comical to watch, I suppose it was intentionally. 3 dance numbers which included Indian women with bare midriffs working their hips.


Vampire Pack - Triple Feature [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Vampire Pack - Triple Feature [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by EliteDigital UK
Price: £19.95

4.0 out of 5 stars WORTHY AS AN INEXPENSIVE VAMPIRE CULT 3-PACK, 2 July 2015
This was a very popular movie rental under the title "Graveyard Shift" back in the 80's. The movie has a combination disco/ Miami Vice feel to it. The Travolta looking lead as well as the sound track gives it that classic 80's feel. Steven is a vampire in NYC who, like all vampires works the Graveyard Shift. Steven senses when women are in their "death cycle" at which time he makes them his lover and gives them a nibble. They in turn become vampires, who Steven never calls. He is a cab driver.

There is a subplot involving a woman named Michelle, who directs vampire videos, but apparently not to well. She is also terminal. Steven eventually ends up at a Halloween party at her house. Michelle's husband, who plays the field, is jealous, but Michelle is in love. The women vampires kill their victims. The cops are trying to figure out where the bodies are coming from.

The film uses red and blue lighting to represent heat and cold, hot and cold bodies. Sometimes it is effective, other times it doesn't work and is annoying. The movie also had some erotic nudity, especially one blue-lit scene with Kim Cayer, which was perhaps the main reason for its popularity. They don't even show her scene on the back cover and they should have plastered it on the front. It sold the movie. I think they did themselves a disfavor by re-releasing it under a different title, especially a bad one.

PARENTAL GUIDE: Sex and nudity. Not much blood for a vampire film.

This review is from: Fiancee of Dracula:

The movie starts out in a cemetery as a woman emerges at midnight, removes her robe as she bites the neck of a willing circus midget. The first thing I noticed was the directors good use of lighting, shadows, and color. Eric and his hypnotist colleague badger the midget to get information as to the whereabouts of Dracula (a word that pronounce the same in English and French). They eventually end up at a convent controlled by quirky nuns(Order of the White Virgins). Dracula's fiancee is located here. Only she knows how to get to the Master.

The nuns have lost some of their sanity because of their nearness to Isabella, Dracula's fiancee. This made what would normally be a dull scene, interesting. The hypnotist uses his whammy on the girl...and he can now read her thoughts as well. Eric and the hypnotist also communicate by mental telepathy. At times, Isabelle looked liked Michele Bachmann on the cover of Newsweek.

The movie makes use of symbols and colors, almost like Ingmar Bergman. I was curious as to what "parallel creature" would pop up next, something perhaps underutilized by the director. This film would make for a great Cohen Brothers adaptation, or a cultist Roger Corman production.

PARENTAL GUIDE:No f-bombs, no sex, full frontal nudity.

This review is from: Two Orphan Vampires:

Two teen girls are blind orphans by day. At night they regain their eye sight for hunting. They are apparently frequently killed and part of the film is flashbacks to previous lives, the first of which was extremely boring with no dialouge, just music. They are adopted by a rich elderly doctor.

The girls wear Catholic girl outfits, frolic in the graveyard, and even partake in dog's blood. In one scene they dare each other to stand naked outside their adopted father's window. They believe they were once ancient Aztec/Inca goddesses. The dialouge is culturally odd in the translation as the girls are described as "so sweet, so pure, just like the sisters of baby Jesus." Another bit was "all gods are real because they are imaginary."

The movie was artsy and not a real horror style vampire film. As an art film, I failed to grasp the message.

Lame sound track. PARENTAL GUIDE: No f-bombs, no sex, some nudity. Neither erotic or scarey.

These 3 films are for people who like oddball vampire movies with nudity. They are not by any means first run features.


Below Zero /BD
Below Zero /BD
Offered by momox co uk
Price: £8.55

5.0 out of 5 stars IT'S A BOSH!, 1 July 2015
This review is from: Below Zero /BD (Blu-ray)
Jack (Edward Furlong) has writer's block. His agent suggests he lock himself up in a freezer for 5 days. In northern rural America, he meets Penny (Kristin Booth) who has just the place. Penny is very likeable. She has the "Fargo" accent and laughs at her own jokes with a snort. She is single and says things like, "You can make anything good with ketchup, just not a marriage." She aspires to be an actress or a screenwriter, while she cares for her mute son.

Once Jack is locked up in a room in a meat processing factory. The movie then becomes the account of his writing. But don't let this deter you from watching this film. Michael Berryman, the face of "These Hills Have Eyes" and an underrated actor becomes an unsavory character in the script. The film bounces back and forth from the script to Jack's imprisonment which is becoming more unbearable as the plot twists. Jack incorporates his surroundings and characters he meets into the story.

At some point you have to ask yourself, "Is there a limit on plot twists before the movie becomes a BOSH?" This one approaches that number. In some ways this film reminded me of "Misery" i.e. a writer being tortured to write.

I enjoyed the ending...at least I think that was the ending. Good indie thriller, for those who like twists. Most of the horror is generated in what we know to be a fictional story.

Parental Guide: F-bombs, no sex, no nudity (woman bra/panties) 4 1/2 stars


BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE.
BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE.
Dvd ~ John Carradine
Offered by adabola1
Price: £14.99

3.0 out of 5 stars SCREAMS? WHAT SCREAMS?, 30 Jun. 2015
This review is from: BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE. (DVD)
In the opening scene, Ann (Vicki Volante of "Brain of Blood" fame) has Ford problems. Rather than wait or walk along the highway, she opts to take off into the woods...with heels. She faints at the sight of Mango (Ray Young-Morka of Star trek Deep Space Nine). He is named Mango most likely because Mungo and Eegah have been reserved.

Mungo works as a caretaker for a castle leased by the vampire Townsends (Alexander D'Arcy and Paula Raymond from "The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms") . John Carradine is the butler. The owner of the castle has died and the new owner (Gene Otis Shayne a dancer in the Monkees TV series) and his model girlfriend (Jennifer Bishop of "The Female Bunch") come to check out their new home and toss out the vampires. Also about the same time escaped psychopathic killer Johnny (Robert Dix of "Satan's Sadists") friend to the vampires, comes home to the castle.

The dialog and film was funny for the era. It has a good amount of camp value, some by design. My DVD from a multi-pack was poor quality with green and blue vertical lines throughout. They live at Falcon Rock Castle (say that 3 times real fast) and prefer to be called "Living Dead" as opposed to vampires.

No sex or nudity. In fact the young unmarried couple sleep in separate rooms.


Echelon Conspiracy - Adim Adim Komplo
Echelon Conspiracy - Adim Adim Komplo
Dvd ~ Shane West

2.0 out of 5 stars ONE CALL, THAT'S ALL, 29 Jun. 2015
PLOT SPOILER REVIEW***

The film starts out as an excellent thriller/mystery in spite of the lead being Shane West. Shane stars as Max "glass jaw" Peterson a man who installs programs in computers to prevent hackers. Max gets a strange phone that sends him text messages which saves his life and gives him money. We also know the government is after this device and other people have received such a phone and have died from following its instructions. At this point the film is an excellent thriller/mystery.

There are few suspects and clues in this production and then we find out who's the culprit and the film becomes boring. Max saves the day from a stunt he saw in "War Games" or if you prefer, the Star Trek episode "The Changeling." At this point I groaned. Perhaps if you have never seen either of those two productions, this might seem pretty darn good. As for me, I got bored when I realized you could kill the "bad guy" by tripping over the plug.

Ving Rhames always does a good character job. Outside of that, the film lacked. Might work as a rental. Better than most of the "Red Box" action.

PARENTAL GUIDE: F-bombs, no nudity, brief love scene.


Echelon Conspiracy [DVD] [2009] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Echelon Conspiracy [DVD] [2009] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dvd ~ J.K.Rowling
Offered by RAREWAVES USA
Price: £5.60

2.0 out of 5 stars ONE CALL, THAT'S ALL, 29 Jun. 2015
PLOT SPOILER REVIEW***

The film starts out as an excellent thriller/mystery in spite of the lead being Shane West. Shane stars as Max "glass jaw" Peterson a man who installs programs in computers to prevent hackers. Max gets a strange phone that sends him text messages which saves his life and gives him money. We also know the government is after this device and other people have received such a phone and have died from following its instructions. At this point the film is an excellent thriller/mystery.

There are few suspects and clues in this production and then we find out who's the culprit and the film becomes boring. Max saves the day from a stunt he saw in "War Games" or if you prefer, the Star Trek episode "The Changeling." At this point I groaned. Perhaps if you have never seen either of those two productions, this might seem pretty darn good. As for me, I got bored when I realized you could kill the "bad guy" by tripping over the plug.

Ving Rhames always does a good character job. Outside of that, the film lacked. Might work as a rental. Better than most of the "Red Box" action.

PARENTAL GUIDE: F-bombs, no nudity, brief love scene.


Salmon Fishing in the Yemen [DVD]
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen [DVD]
Dvd ~ Emily Blunt
Offered by Tom-Media
Price: £8.81

4.0 out of 5 stars TO FAITH AND FISH, 29 Jun. 2015
The Sheikh of Yemen (Amr Waked) wants salmon fishing in his country which the British government is willing to do. Dr Alfred Jones (Ewan McGregor) and Harriet (Emily Blunt) are thrust together on the project. Both are stuck in relationships with other people and can't move on. The salmon becomes a metaphor for their lives as their DNA forces them to do the same thing, i.e. staying in their comfort zone. The fish movement to Yemen is symbolic that we can move on. We just have to have faith.

The production is a typical indie flavored with bits of humor and a warm fuzzy side of philosophy. It is in a way a romance, but not your typical romantic comedy. It is a good date movie, especially if you are dating a married man that is having trouble leaving his wife...or on second thought, maybe not.

PARENTAL GUIDE: F-bombs, no real sex or nudity.


Jurassic World [Blu-ray] [2015]
Jurassic World [Blu-ray] [2015]
Dvd ~ Chris Pratt
Price: £14.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars WE NEED MORE TEETH, 28 Jun. 2015
Owen (Chris Pratt) is ex-navy and works with raptors, eat your heart out Siegfried and Roy. Vincent D'Onofrio plays the human antagonist like Brian Dennehy and has a plan to adapt dinosaurs to military use. Bryce Dallas Howard provides our hero with a love interest because all the best films are love stories. You get the picture, dinosaurs running, flying, and swimming around killing each other and eating grandma who still has a few good years. In the beginning they hint that the audience wants action with bigger and badder dinosaurs, so they do that and sacrifice any aspect of building or creating memorable characters. I would have been happy just to see Jeff Goldblum, as an extra, getting eaten by a dinosaur.

The dinosaurs aren't any better than they were 20 years ago. The characters were bland. The film had a loose plot and I kept waiting for it to engage me. The kids weren't even as cute as the first film. Oh Yeah. Chris Pratt runs with dinosaurs, which is apparently a big deal.

Guide: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Minor swearing such as SOB. 3 1/2 STARS


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