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Capt. N M Gilbert "capt_n_m_gilbert"

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5.0 out of 5 stars New Balls Please, 1 July 2013
Wow! As a registered sex offender and pervert this picture of the legs and arse of a minor is right up my alley, let me tell you.
So glad that PA Photos took the wise decision to turn this moment which encapsulates so many of the things we love about Wimbledon, nay, Tennis, nay, Elite Sports into an heirloom of this kind.

Children of the Matrix: How an Interdimentional Race Has Controlled the Planet for Thousands of Years - and Still Does
Children of the Matrix: How an Interdimentional Race Has Controlled the Planet for Thousands of Years - and Still Does
by David Vaughan Icke
Edition: Paperback
Price: £11.20

16 of 39 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Reptilians beware! the resistance is here!, 8 July 2004
So, you thought you knew the world?
You think you understand human nature and the history of mankind?
For centuries the nefarious reptile-men have run rough shod over the values that humanity hold as sacred, like JUSTICE, TRUTH, LOVE, FREEDOM, EQUALITY, and NO LIZARD MEN CONTROLLING US BY VIBRATIONAL VORTEXES From their underground lairs!
The modern system isnt working, the Reptilians are taking over the minds of the weak, and stealing the powers of the strong with their sick rituals which involve things like DANCING and SACRIFICE, and FIREWORKS POWERED BY HUMAN ORGANS!
Ha, so you thought the film 'the MATRIX' was Sci-fi? its SCI-TRUTH, for we are being farmed by an ALIEN RACE to fund their nefarious schemes.
THE SHORT SIGHTED will say, 'where's the evidence for this? there is no evidence of lizard men, and i mean LIZARD men? don't be ridiculous! Why not flymen? or Shredder from the Turtles, you crazy fools!'
Well how can you get evidence, when the body of a reptilian evaporates in seconds? didnt you ever hear of internal combustion??
Well, time for them to stop being Sheep, cos the reptilian men are ruling us, and if we don't stop the SHEPHERD then he's going to lead us over the CLIFF of JUSTICE AND TRUTH into the Sea of FOLLY and onto the ROCKS OF DEATH!!
The first step in the revolution? spread the TRUTH, and only then can we mobilise the forces of RIGHT and heaad into the CAVES of th REPTILIANS and their friends the BAT-PEOPLE and WORG LORDS, and end this, YEAH
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: May 22, 2008 3:53 PM BST

Kids Return [VHS] [1997]
Kids Return [VHS] [1997]
Offered by stephensmith_426
Price: £11.77

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars I know what its about, you see?, 8 July 2004
Beat Takeshi films always leave me thinking 'that was good but i wonder what it was Really about' well i worked out this one, i think.
This isnt so much a review as a discussion by the way.
At the beginning of the film we see two comedians talking about their dreams to play baseball, and they are funny, or at least a bit drole, by the way despite what the above reviewer says, because they are not doing PUNS they are telling JOKES. and the jokes do work because they are just based on supidity, and stupidity is funny in any language.
anyhow back to the review. The film is ACTUALLY about dreams you see? there are 2 main characters (young lads) and one perifory character who each get a chance to live out their various dreams, and at the end we see the results of what can happen if they are or aren't fulfilled, and how the fulfillment of dreams can actually be a negative experience in the end.
Any way the acting is good, the music is good, and there are some very funny moments, although this is no comedy, it is infact loaded with melancholy, until the suprise ending, which infact flips it all around and suddenly we can be optimistic again.
As good as the other Beat Takeshi films i've seen

Sonatine [1993] [DVD]
Sonatine [1993] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Takeshi Kitano
Offered by WorldCinema
Price: £9.99

18 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars OFFICIAL- WORST SUBTITLES EVER !!!, 8 July 2004
This review is from: Sonatine [1993] [DVD] (DVD)
This film is brilliant- however the DVD is awful, the subtitles come up too late or too early, if they come up at all. Buy the video version and see one of my top 10 films ever, and i have good taste in films and everythink.
Especially the bit when half way through it changes to a brilliant genre defying kind of 'Beach Movie' full of symbolism, which to be honest, i don't understand but i couldnt care less- It is a thought provoking film about all sorts of things, and probably the best Kitano film there is.
And that japanese bird's got a cracking pair, i must add. worth the price of it alone- and you don't need no subtitles to understand them apples.

Pharaoh (Sold Out Range)(PC)
Pharaoh (Sold Out Range)(PC)

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars It took hundreds of years to complete the pyramids..., 8 July 2004
It took hundreds of years to complete the pyramids... and i'm not talking about real life.
Pharaoh is basically a repackaging of Caesar 3 with a few worthwhile improvements, and is very similar indeed to Zeus, the next in the line.
Like these other games Pharaoh offers a challenge set in a pretty atmospheric surroundings with some nice graphics and music. You will be pretty proud when you get your first big palaces, let me tell you.
However the flaws include the ridiculous amount of time you will need to spend on this game doing rather repetitive missions, building very similar cities or carrying out military quests which are not particularly rewarding- the combat system is overly simplistic and you cannot control your armies when abroad on campaigns.
And you will have to spend hours and hours, at the end of some maps just waiting pointlessly as your workers build the pyramids brick by brick by brick by brick ad infinitum- even the fastest speed doesnt help to end the tedium.
Still, if you liked the other games you could do worse, and if you don't have any of the others in the series, i would recommend this, albeit slightly less than Zeus Master of Olympus- but then that might be a bit more expensive, innit?
If you can get this game for under a fiver then you can do alot worse.

Biggles Pioneer Air Fight [CASSETTE]
Biggles Pioneer Air Fight [CASSETTE]

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Stand back you, You're Daft!, 2 Dec 2003
'Biggles, pioneer air fighter, by captain W.E Johns. read by Michael York.
The Carrier.
The summer Sun was sinking in the western sky, in a blaze of crimson glory. Biggles, smuggled deeper into his office as he contemplated another afternoon spent watching mud coated men and lumbering tanks... etc etc
Yes indeed i must have listened to this particular Spoken Worder at least a million times ever since my brother first got it way back in, oooh, about 1993. And even after 10 years, i still love it. No doubt. Michael York's soothing tones and vocal dexterity, whether whispering 'i'm going topsides!"
or yelling
"NOT YOU said biggles" can hardly be bettered. OK, I know what your thinking, so its not Tim Piggot smith, in the seminal works 'Biggles Flies East' + 'Biggles defies the Swastika' but you cant have everything can you?
7 Classic biggles tales, plus the frankly mediocre 'Biggles finds his feet' are brought together on this fantastic tape that remains the benchmark for late night-go to sleep audio works. If you are a biggles afficienado and you do not own this, then you will have to ammend the situation.
To those unfamiliar with BPAF, it is an engaging tale of the pressure of mid air combat counterbalanced with the boredom of life on the ground back in the days when Pilots had chivalry, and all men lost 'the milk of human kindness'. Written just after the 1st world war BPAF is exceptional amongst the Biggles Stories because no one gets captured-freed-captured-freed-rescued again- the format that was to later be the staple of his fiction. As always, Capt. Johns demonstrates his masterful knowldege and ability to apply national stereotypes such as the drunk irishman, the kilt wearing scott and the chirpy cockney "bleedin' Sparra"
The Carrier is an atmospheric tale about acting beyond the call of duty full of vivid visual imagery.
Spads and Spandau is an exciting account of aerial combat and why americans are all brasch and a bit rubbish.
The decoy comes as a change of tone, written in a mournful style with a grim air of desperation as our hero struggles to keep his sanity
The Boob introduces us to Biggles cousin Algy, described as a slice of "warmed up death wrapped up in velveteen ribbons", who is to be the comic relief for the future biggles saga.
In the tour de Force 'battle of the flowers' Algy thrills the listener with his eccentric ways and daring-do, combined with his own brand of humour.
'Biggles Finds his feet' is the sleep inducing second tale for side 3, highlights include York's nasal Major.
'The bomber' is another insight into aerial combat of the time, and is most interesting to aviationists as a record of reactions to the technological advances in air warfare.
And Finally there is 'Fog', where the atmosphere generated is as thick as the pea soup itself, and Johns manipulates the mist to build tension and pathos- (what is Pathos anyay???).
Now i know that every single review on amazon either gives 0 or 5 stars, but truly, this spoken worder is the King of Spoken Worders, and should be produced for ever and ever until all men in the world owns one for ever to listen to it every night, AMEN.
In other words buy this. I love it so much i even am willing to write a massive review that, probably, no one else will ever see....

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