5.0 out of 5 stars
Accurate and informative, 23 Nov 2010
Anyone who has suffered at the hands of a parent who was unable to give them unconditional love will find this book enlightening. It is difficult to understand why, when growing up, you feel emotions such as envy, interpersonal anger, disgust, and aggressiveness. This book helps you to understand these feelings.
Alice Miller writes, "Throughout their life, these people will have to deal with situations in which these rudimentary feelings may awaken, but without the original connection ever becoming clear." But this isn't new. Plato explained how harmful ideas are sometimes implanted in us by others whom we trust, such as our parents, when we are young and vulnerable. These ideas then exert undesirable controls over us, but we defend them all the same because we erroneously believe they are our own.
Parents who are not emotionally available to their children when needed, create deep rooted problems for their children; maybe not intentionally, but problems nonetheless. So it is refreshing to read a book that gives answers to the questions that seemed so irresolvable when growing up.