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Inflatable Man
Inflatable Man
Offered by Price Drop UK
Price: £6.97

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hours of fun!, 23 Mar. 2012
This review is from: Inflatable Man (Toy)
Me and my `friend' Dan Wing (not asian) have spent many hours rolling around together in a paddling pool filled with KY jelly (see my other comment) and I have to say that this makes the perfect companion to our innocent frolicking! His manly chest and perfect moustache just proves how hetero and straight this is. The only negative I would say is that it is not `complete', as I find this lack of detail and accuracy somewhat disappointing (in a purely aesthetic way). I would definitely prefer this if it had something to hold on it can get very slippy covered in KY jelly.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 19, 2013 7:53 PM GMT

Snake Willy Warmer
Snake Willy Warmer
Price: £2.83

192 of 205 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful, 23 Mar. 2012
This review is from: Snake Willy Warmer (Toy)
I often find that my penis gets kind of cold (a chilly willy) so this product was a great addition to my wardrobe that includes but is not limited to pink spandex shorts, a leather crop top and high heels from the 60s with dead goldfish in them. The only complain I have is that this product is not made for those with girth `issues', namely those of use with massive Chodes. Perhaps they could produce a version for me, maybe to look like an obese, pregnant slow worm?
Comment Comments (27) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 25, 2014 9:37 PM BST

KY Jelly Personal Lubricant - Standard  42 grams
KY Jelly Personal Lubricant - Standard 42 grams
Offered by Pharmacy Place
Price: £2.84

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Useful, 23 Mar. 2012
I found this product extremely useful for `playtime' with my good `friend' Dan Wing (not asian). Although I still don't not what the KY stands for! Plus, I would suggest that in the heat of the moment you don't ingest this as it is not actually jelly.

No Title Available

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Penis Pump, my arse, 23 Mar. 2012
I have to say that I am somewhat disappointed by this product as it advertised to increase length, however all it did was increase the girth, giving me a distinct Chode! Now my penis can touch all sides of a tuna can without touching the bottom! However, saying that, £40, WHAT A BARAGIN!

Edward Quote - Twilight - New Moon - Maxi Poster - 61 cm x 91.5 cm
Edward Quote - Twilight - New Moon - Maxi Poster - 61 cm x 91.5 cm

5.0 out of 5 stars Great!, 23 Mar. 2012
This poster hangs directly over my bed so whenever I am making love to a 'woman' I can look deep into those soulful eyes while I climax.

The Twilight Saga Triple Pack [DVD]
The Twilight Saga Triple Pack [DVD]
Dvd ~ Kristen Stewart
Offered by SweetBuzzards
Price: £4.99

94 of 103 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I love Twilight! And for only £8!, 23 Mar. 2012
This has to be the greatest offer made, giving every man, woman and child a chance to see this work of art! The people who offer this amazing deal are true humanitarians!
Whenever I think of bland, dull and deary Belle, overtly moody Edward or greased-up, permanently topless Jacob I can't help but touch myself inappropriately. Yes, I am a man...sort of (half of one if you get my drift) and I believe that this enchanting, timeless love story about a three-way between a tedious, monotonous, average looking woman, a werewolf and vampire is something we can all relate to (I mean, we've all been there, right girls?) and shall be remembered as the greatest story ever told! Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet eat your heart out...literally!
I have to say that I can't decide between Edward and Jacob (whos tone cheeks remind me of my `friend' Dan Wing (not asian)) and would happily invite either (or both) to share a soapy, steamy bath with me! Therefore I would have to say I am firmly in team Jedward.
Whenever I make love to a `woman' I think to myself, what would Edward do? Then I start applying too much makeup and act like a moody five year old with diarrhea. Then I think how would Jacob act? At which point I rip off my shirt, oil up my torso and act like a stroppy child. Yes, these two are my Heroes (check out my review of Enrique Iglesias' Greatest Hits).
Also, I completely agree with Chris Cooke, this is an amazing bargain! I mean, 3 DVDs for £8! That works out to be 47 minutes of heaven for every pound you spend (not including the DVD extras)! Can you imagine that? Go on; imagine that, I'll done? Wasn't it awesome! It's such a great deal I've bought 3 of them and I don't even own a DVD player! If I could give this 6.25 stars I would! Seriously people, £8 for 3 DVDs'''
Oh, and P.S. I think that the idea of vampires glistening and shining in sunlight like a wet sweaty fish instead of bursting into flames is ingenious and in no way completely undermines the concept of being a vampire!
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 23, 2013 3:26 PM BST

Greatest Hits
Greatest Hits
Price: £7.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Can I be your Hero?, 23 Mar. 2012
This review is from: Greatest Hits (MP3 Download)
OMG! This is the greatest album of greatest hits eva!!! I have listened to this album bijillion times and you know what? It gets better every time! Enrique (I personally like to call him by his true name; Eric Church) is truly one of the greatest, nay, the greatest poet, singer and booty shaker of all time! I love nothing better than singing along to `Hero' while I look lovingly into the eyes of my `friend' Dan Wing (not asian) sitting within kissing distance. I don't know why that makes him uncomfortable or why he won't let me be his hero (or he mine, I'm easy and go both ways). There is also a plethora of other hits, too numberous to list (unless you look at the track list, then its 16 plus a remix of `Hero') and each of greater quality than the last. This includes the sadistic anthem `I love to see you cry' and the track that depicts Eric's struggle with Nyctophobia (`Don't Turn Off The Lights'). Truly no better album has been or will be made, making all future endeavours in the music industry completely futile! If I was a woman I would totally `do' Eric!
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 21, 2013 12:11 AM BST

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