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greenycrimson (Cornwall, UK)

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The Adventures of Inspector Lestrade (Lestrade Mysteries)
The Adventures of Inspector Lestrade (Lestrade Mysteries)
by M J Trow
Edition: Paperback

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Mediocre murder mystery, 23 July 2014
The only reason anyone might buy this book is because they have previously read the Sherlock Holmes stories, so then it doesn't follow why the author does a hatchet job on the Holmes character in this book. Terrible at disguises, a useless, cocaine-addicted idiot who hates his Boswell - why bother writing a story about a minor literary character if you dislike the series?

If it's for comedy, then you would hope the offering would be better than the tacked on rubbish which happens here. For example, Lestrade congratulates himself every time he manages to say a character's name correctly, in something rather akin to what you'd expect from a Spike Milligan book (incidentally, if you'd like a Sherlockian based comedy I would thoroughly recommend The Hound Of The Baskervilles According To Spike Milligan, which is the story this one could only dream of being.) At another point Lestrade leaps out of a window to avoid being seen by a woman who is interested in him romantically; utter mood whiplash when the story is trying to be serious nine tenths of the time.

In addition to this the author seemed to be inordinately pleased at having looked up a smattering of historical facts - while completely ignoring easily googled anachronisms. Every historical and literary reference is mugged and signposted, with Dixon of Dock Green working alongside Walter Dew at Scotland Yard in a clumsy mash that has none of the talent of compositional stories such as Anno Dracula (again, recommend thoroughly) or League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (more brilliantly blended Victoriana).

But, as I've said, the sheer laziness and lack of fidelity to the setting is nonsensical - in 1891 horseless carriages were not common (not mass produced until after the turn of the century) or going much above 5 miles per hour (remember the gentleman with the red flag?). How then is our hero, on a police inspector's wages, going in one every other adventure? And far more annoyingly - Victorian gentlemen calling each other by their first names? (And since when has G. Lestrade had the first name Sholto? Did the author just flop open the Sing of Four and pick the first name they stabbed with a pin?) Or sleeping with women before they were married?

On a side note, how weak is it that the only two women who are present for more than two pages of the book leap into bed with our protagonist? If you don't care about historical fidelity, why write your female characters so appallingly?

And if none of that deters you - this is not a short story anthology but covers only one case, a clichéd thing with a taunting villain linked to the Ripper murders.


Colouring for Grown-ups: the adult activity book
Colouring for Grown-ups: the adult activity book
by Ryan Hunter
Edition: Paperback
Price: £5.24

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent gift for the sneering middle class in your life., 8 Mar. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
If you have a friend who likes to feel sardonically superior to those around them, some emotionally stunted and sneering twenteen (who's probably pushing thirty now) who watches crap telly 'ironically' and dresses out of charity shops, whose birthday is approaching and you need a quick gift for? This and a packet of crayons is /perfect/. (Try the crayola multicultural flesh tones for maximum "lulz".)

I've bought two so far and will probably be sending a third soon.


The Three Musketeers [DVD]
The Three Musketeers [DVD]
Dvd ~ Matthew MacFadyen
Price: £3.00

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Trash! Lovely, lovely trash!, 8 Mar. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: The Three Musketeers [DVD] (DVD)
Disengage your brain, get a bowl of throwable snacks and get ready to point and laugh at the adventures of sagging men in leather and a dough faced arse. Do not watch if you feel that sense and reason, a decent plot or acting are necessary for your film based enjoyment.


Tame
Tame
Price: £3.59

4.0 out of 5 stars Perhaps I'm not the target market, 8 Mar. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Tame (Kindle Edition)
A nice, straightforward and comfortable read, Tame is a user-friendly romcom with light touches of werewolves and lesbians.

But - and there is always a but, even when it makes yoru sentence grammatically ugly - the problem for me as a reader remains that I am far more interested in lesbians and werewolves than I am in 'chicklit' and so, while I enjoyed the book far more than I usually do this genre (why are there so few happy same sex romance novels? Not everyone needs to be tragic against some scenery) I still felt the story was limited by its category.

The characters are well-fleshed and feel as in depth as the first person POV will allow, but some matters are still left unresolved: What of chappie who got bitten by a 'dog'? How do the legal issues (and subsequent problems) of another character get tied up? Perhaps these aren't things that fit well into the narrative of a romcom, perhaps it's the consequence of a (self confessed) unreliable narrator, but I should still have liked to have seen those outcomes.

An overall light and happy read, and a pleasant way to pass your commute home.


The Lost Files of Sherlock Holmes
The Lost Files of Sherlock Holmes
Price: £2.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Awful., 12 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Perhaps my standards are too high and I am too fussy in not tolerating out of character behaviour, flagrant anachronisms and sheer absence of writing talent, but when one can find far superior fan fiction on the internet (and, yes, I am aware pastiches are just grandiose fan fiction but I still remain fond) one does resent spending even 80 pence on this bilge.

Do not buy if you are a canon geek or want Sherlock Holmes to be himself in more than name only.


How Not To Write By Someone Who Doesn't
How Not To Write By Someone Who Doesn't
Price: £0.99

5.0 out of 5 stars A fine collection of anecdotes, 12 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
An enjoyable collection which keeps one foot firmly in the entertaining while still managing to talk fluently about the problems of writing. Far better than this review makes it seem.


Pan's Labyrinth [DVD] [2006]
Pan's Labyrinth [DVD] [2006]
Dvd ~ Ivana Baquero
Price: £3.58

5.0 out of 5 stars Magnificent film, 12 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Pan's Labyrinth [DVD] [2006] (DVD)
A proper fairy story for grown ups; dark, brooding, atmospheric and delightfully ambiguous as to whether Opehlia has created this escapist world or not. A beautiful film.


Booty Call of Cthulhu (Paranormal, Tentacles, Dubious Consent Erotica)
Booty Call of Cthulhu (Paranormal, Tentacles, Dubious Consent Erotica)
by Dalia Daudelin
Edition: Paperback
Price: £3.21

4.0 out of 5 stars Slim thing, 12 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Much smaller than I was expecting; I was rather surprised by its slimness, but otherwise a satisfactory surprise for my friend.


Sherlock Holmes & The Mystery of the Last Line (New Sherlock Holmes Adventures Book 2)
Sherlock Holmes & The Mystery of the Last Line (New Sherlock Holmes Adventures Book 2)

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Free and yet too expensive at that, 7 Jan. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This story is either the work of a magnificent troll, or a disappointing slap-dash piece of fanfic.

I hope it's the former as then the author is to be commended: there is no mystery; the characters are only recognisable in name; the plot is magnificently tedious in its soap opera levels of drama; anachronistic behaviour abounds and, my personal favourite -- at one point Mrs Hudson suddenly bakes 'cookies' for no discernible reason.

Don't bother with this: you are better off googling for Holmesian fanfic.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 10, 2013 4:08 AM GMT


Latex Liquid for Mold / Mould Making & Special Effects - 1 Litre
Latex Liquid for Mold / Mould Making & Special Effects - 1 Litre
Offered by Special Effects Direct
Price: £18.50

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic service, 6 Dec. 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Producted arrived the day before the estimated despatch date, in a box full of bubblewrap with a small packet of Haribo down the side. To quote, on opening: "Can we order all our supplies from these guys?"


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