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Quetzalcoatl78 (Durham, England)

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Candyman 2 - Farewell To The Flesh [DVD]
Candyman 2 - Farewell To The Flesh [DVD]
Dvd ~ Tony Todd
Price: 6.75

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Standard horror sequel..., 18 Jun 2012
Pretty standard sequel, with the story being originated by Clive Barker. The urban myth of the Candyman is re-awakened when descendants from the tortured slaves bloodline attempt to find out the truth and ultimately destroy the legend forever. Some pretty nifty effects are all that are really here, as the weak succession of false shocks and the slow beginning only detract from the picture. The script too is weak, with its complexities of Candymans origins not solidly explained. It tries to achieve the epic and urban mythic qualities of the original but ends up as a formula horror pic, although Tony Todd has prescence as Candyman, and Kelly Rowan is a likeable protaganist.

A third picture seemed unlikely, as this picture helped Clive Barkers cinematic reputation, built up so solidly on HELLRAISER and the original CANDYMAN, slide into straight-to-video flop-out city. But what do you know, they made one anyway.

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (Cuando Los Dinosaurios Dominaban La Tierra) Spanish import, plays in English
When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (Cuando Los Dinosaurios Dominaban La Tierra) Spanish import, plays in English
Dvd ~ Victoria Vetri
Offered by DaaVeeDee-uk
Price: 19.27

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun film but remembered more giant crabs!, 18 Jun 2012
It is strange that this has not yet been released on DVD in the UK, but will be familiar to viewers from frequent TV broadcasts, though often in slightly cut form.

WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH is Hammer's second foray into quasi-prehistoric times, but the lack of a larger-than-usual budget, Racquel Welch, and Ray Harryhausen's dinosaurs mean this isn't ONE MILLION YEARS BC.

DINOSAURS tells the shaky story of Victoria Vetri's cave-girl escaping from a sacrificial ritual, only to encounter various beasties and man-eating plants determined to eat her, rival tribes who want to sacrifice her, and a dinosaur who thinks it is her mother. Vetri does what is expected of her in the lead role, and Imogen Hassel also jiggles as a love rival; the special effects are ok, although Jim Danforth's stop-motion dinosaurs aren't as refined as Harryhausens. The best and most memorable scene comes at the end, as the moon is being created, and a huge tsunami wracks the coast, waking up some very good but underused giant crab creatures.

This is a fun little film and will please Hammer fans and people who saw it on TV when they were little.

The next in Hammer's unconnected prehistoric series was CREATURES THAT TIME FORGOT, that had no dinosaurs in it!

Monsterwolf [DVD]
Monsterwolf [DVD]
Dvd ~ Leonor Varela
Offered by MediaMerchants
Price: 1.32

2.0 out of 5 stars A Big Bad Wolf!, 11 Jun 2012
This review is from: Monsterwolf [DVD] (DVD)
Let's be candid. You'd watch this for the wolf, right.

Let's be candid again. The wolf effects are terrible.

MONSTERWOLF is a premium example of cheap, badly rendered CGI; the effects would have looked terrible ten years ago, and they bring what could have been a reasonable adventure-horror flick into the realms of tosh. When the wolf appears it is very badly integrated into the action. It would have been better to have kept the wolf largely in the shadows or use imagination to convey it; this is just lazy film-making, pay someone for bad effects and throw them in the film.

It is a shame because the story, about an American Indian spirit out for revenge, isn't bad and Robert Picardo [the holographic doctor from STAR TREK: VOYAGER] is quite good, but he is probably where the budget went.

If you must buy this film, get it on the creature feature triple pack with SNOWBEAST and SWAMP SHARK, used, for a couple of quid. And consider; SNOWBEAST with its ludicrous man-in-a-suit monster, is a better film than MONSTERWOLF with its cliches and terrible digital effects. Discuss, using diagrams where appropriate...

Warbirds [DVD]
Warbirds [DVD]
Dvd ~ Brian Krause
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: 1.99

3.0 out of 5 stars Attack Of The Giant Budgies! A Review In Bullet Points., 11 Jun 2012
This review is from: Warbirds [DVD] (DVD)
Small deserted island. World War Two planes. Feisty female pilots. Giant bitey pteranodons.

Plenty of action, likeable characters, okay effects, guessable but satisfying conclusion.

Brian Krause from "Charmed" and LOCH NESS TERROR. Great DVD cover. Pulp adventure atmosphere.

Enjoyable, and good for family viewing [minus a bit of unneccessary but minor swearing].

The Hills Have Eyes 2 [DVD] [2007]
The Hills Have Eyes 2 [DVD] [2007]
Dvd ~ Michael McMillian
Price: 3.04

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Really good sequel shock!, 11 Jun 2012
This was surprising; an exciting and entertaining hack'n'slash sequel!

Plot is simple and standard; a group of half-trained soldier types get stuck in the New Mexico desert where a bunch of degenerate mutant killer cannibals live. Cue mayhem.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES PART 2 is not the most original film in the world, and pretty much everything is standard for the genre. However, it is competently made and is constantly engaging. There's peril, shocks, a bit of tension, lots of gore and some big smelly mutants that take forever to kill. Things get a bit dark in the caves in the second half, and most of the logic makes not much sense, but if you've had a few beers you can forgive these usual faults.

Basically, its a good sequel, and if you really wanted a film about degenerate mutant killer cannibals with complex character development and motivation then perhaps your standards are a little too high.

I've seen a lot of these sort of films, and this lives in the "Good" cave.

Friday The 13th Part II [1981] [DVD]
Friday The 13th Part II [1981] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Amy Steel
Offered by DVDBayFBA
Price: 11.53

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A superior hack'n'slash film. Is that a misnomer?, 10 Jun 2012
It's hard to find anything new to say about this film that hasn't been said in the other reviews.

Part 2 is a solid and entertaining hack'n'slash film, on a par, or perhaps better, than the original. Jason Voorhees is the killer for the first time here, but has not yet found his hockey-mask or his supernatural powers. Also, if you missed part one, there's a fairly comprehensive recap at the start of this one. As hack'n'slash films go, this is better than most of the cheap rip-off titles that proliferated in the eighties. Indeed, slasher films may not be highly respected in the film world, but the majority of the Friday films are among the best of that sub-genre.

This DVD boasts an impressive subtitle range, although I found the English one to be a bit lax.

Dementia 13 [1963] [DVD]
Dementia 13 [1963] [DVD]
Dvd ~ William Campbell
Price: 2.75

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Early atmospheric hack'n'slash., 10 Jun 2012
This review is from: Dementia 13 [1963] [DVD] (DVD)
There`s plenty of info on the plot and background of this little film elsewhere among these reviews so straight to the point;

For the cheap quickie that it is, DEMENTIA 13, succeeds fairly well. It's interesting from the start, and quickly becomes a kind of Old Dark House style thriller. There are moments of early hack'n'slash that would later influence FRIDAY THE 13TH et al, a hint of supernatural goings-on, and a riff on PYSCHO, when what seems to be the main character becomes a victim half way through.

There are faults; the killer is quite easy to guess, while some other plot points make little sense, and the production values and sound quality are variable throughout.

Nevertheless, this is fairly entertaining and is worth an hour or so of a horror fans time.

But what's the title all about???

The Lost Empire [DVD]
The Lost Empire [DVD]
Dvd ~ Melanie Vincz

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Highly-watchable terrific little piece of crap!, 5 Jun 2012
This review is from: The Lost Empire [DVD] (DVD)
Wynorski is a B-movie king, and he continually turned out Z-grade crap throughout the eighties.He has directed over twenty films, and contributed story, script, or produced on dozens more. On his directorial CV are such noted flicks as DEATHSTALKER II, DINOSAUR ISLAND, BODY CHEMISTRY 3, CHOPPING MALL, GHOULIES IV, MUNCHIE, SORCERESS, RETURN OF THE SWAMP THING and SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2. Wynorski likes the macabre, lots of special effects and women in his movies, and if I see his name on the credits, I know I'm in for an interesting time.

He wrote, produced and directed THE LOST EMPIRE, and managed to make a film that I can`t decide whether it is brilliant or plain crap. Wolfe is a high-octane lady cop who wears a black leather suit and rides around on a motorcycle. When a chinese curio shop is robbed by sect-members with spiky death-star yo-yos for weapons, Wolfe`s FBI lover suddenly reveals that the Devil himself is involved and that he lives on an island somewhere and kidnaps women, and is about to make himself immortal with the help of a crap plot token, The Eyes Of Avatar. For some odd reason, women sign up to be taken to his island, ritually humiliated, forced to fight, and then possibly pawed or, if they`re especially lucky, eaten, by Old Nick himself [who is, incidentally, building, out of Meccano and a few plastic tubes, a super-weapon that disintegrates everything it is fired at]. Anyway, busty Wolfe decides to visit the island and sets about finding two like-minded women to come with her. This first part of the film is the best, and its a bit like THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, but just with three. Wolfe finds WhiteStar, played by professional stripper Raven De La Croix, who is some sort of magical native-american woman. She has a huge bust and wears a ridiculous white bikini suit with lots of tassels [which De La Croix designed herself]. Next, the pair go off to a corrupt womans prison to negotiate the release of a woman that Wolfe arrested. In the prison grounds she has a catfight with a dominiatrix woman with a whip, and later talks to Wolfe and TasselyBra in the shower. Like you do.

Anyway, the three fly off to the island, do some star-jumps, fight a little bit, and finally discover the horror of its odd leader [played by PHANTASM`s Angus Scrimm]. Oh and there`s a gorilla, too. And a black-skulled man. And plenty of topless scenes, as it seems a lot of the ladies want to just throw away their tops for no particular reason, or have them ripped off for no better particular reason. For people who are scared of things, there is a scene with a big snake [trying to negotiate its way around De La Croix`s bosom], and a scene with a [robot] spider, as well as lots more star-jumps.

But this is great. It doesn`t make a lot of sense, the majority of the women who get their hooters out are ageing porno stars, the script was perhaps written by the gorilla that appears, and generally its just really stupid. But add all the ingredients together and you have a highly-watchable terrific little piece of crap. It was released on DVD in 2002 and repackaged to make it look like a sword`n`sorcery flick. Which it isn`t. Tommy Rettig can be seen in this movie, too, who was the annoying little kid in LASSIE.

Godzilla VS Hedorah [VHS]
Godzilla VS Hedorah [VHS]
Offered by smallerneil
Price: 13.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Godzilla does his recycling!, 5 Jun 2012
Starring: Godzilla, Hedorah, Japanese people, a cat with sludge on its fur

This is the eleventh Toho outing for the Big G and this time he`s turned green. Okay, so he was always kind of green [apart from in the b/w pics], but here he`s envoironmentally green. Ah! But instead of helpfully sorting out his trash, using re-cycled toilet-paper and taking his empties back, he`s chosen instead to come to Japan and beat up Hedora, a shape-changing sludge-filled, flying-about, muck-slinging, smoke-guzzling monster who has emerged from Japan`s industrial pollution. He appears in the forms of a giant sea-going tadpole, a river of sludge, a flying stingray thing, and a vaguely humanoid reptillian dude. The Japs attempt to beat him off first with oxygen bombs, then with a truly terrifying anti-pollution pop song, and then some invented device that will hopefully fry him into an omellette. But they don`t work, so Godzilla has to beat him up, set him on fire, throw him around, pull his eyes and internal sludge out, stomp him into the ground and generally save the day.

Ok, ok, as a self confessed Godzilla fan, this in both painful and fun in parts. The first half hour is interesting and fun, but the middle bit is very ponderous, leading to a slightly better punch-up between the title monsters. Scatterred through the film is some bad animation and the title song is repeated several times. As usual, the token little kid is annoying, the dialogue funny and the acting is just plain odd. There are no spacemen this time, although there is a bizarre segment that alludes Hedora came to Earth on a comet [even though he apparently came from sewage and pollution - er!]. The special effects seem slightly weaker than usual, and the film as a whole is either for big Godzilla fans or insomniacs. The previous film, GODZILLA`S REVENGE [hopefully on the film-makers] was crap, too, being filled with stock footage battles, but the next one, GODZILLA VS GIGAN proved to be minutely better.

Ghoulies [VHS]
Ghoulies [VHS]

2.0 out of 5 stars Creature-feature toilet humour., 5 Jun 2012
This review is from: Ghoulies [VHS] (VHS Tape)
Typical eighties horror romp for teenagers. A young man inherits an old house, unaware that it was once used for black magic rituals. Very soon, the evil resident in the house encourages him to continue the satanism. While his girlfriend and teenage friends are staying he summons up (with a lot of gibberish) a number of GHOULIES, pint-sized monsters that vary wildly in appearance and style, that then go on to bite, eat and hack at his mates, until their true master rises from his grave for a confusing climax. For some bewildering reason there are two midgets dressed like vikings contributing to the fairly senseless plot. The creatures themselves were designed by John Carl Buechler and aren`t too bad for 1985, but are slightly more comedic [even cute?] than frightening.

GHOULIES was a Charles Band attempt at little-creature movies like the far superior GREMLINS and CRITTERS. To enjoy this film you have to be either quite high on something, or seriously love the eighties horror crap that it is. Nevertheless it did quite well on video, even later turning up on sell-thru, and spawned three variable sequels.

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