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Jurassic Shark [DVD]
Jurassic Shark [DVD]
Dvd ~ Emanuelle Carriere
Price: £5.54

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Shark Film Ever?, 23 Feb. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Jurassic Shark [DVD] (DVD)
From the same production team who were behind Jurassic Park, comes this shark film. I am what many would call an expert in shark films, having seen 'Jaws' over one hundred times and even some of the rarer straight-to-video shark films of the eighties. Who could forget 'Shark In The Bath' starring Debra Winger as a struggling widower who comes home one night from work to find a twelve foot shark in her bathtub. Then there is the much talked about 'Sharks In The Library', curiously also starring Debra Winger. This was not very popular because there were no sharks in the film, instead it was about people reading about sharks in a library.

Jurassic Shark sees a tycoon (John Hurt) open up a shark sanctuary on a remote island somewhere off the coast of Costa Rica. He then invites his family to the island and one by one they all fall foul to the sharks in a series of ghastly accidents. My favourite scene is where Helen Mirren mistakes a shark for a lilo and is eaten. There is also a superb scene where John Hurt attempts to reason with a shark by offering it a percentage share in his company. The shark declines, but the scene is brilliantly played for twenty minutes.

The effects are brilliant, the soundtrack is world class and the camera shots are out of this world. If you see one shark one in your life, watch Jaws 4. If you see two, pick this one as well, because it is nearly as good, but not quite.

Moonraker [DVD] [1979]
Moonraker [DVD] [1979]
Dvd ~ Roger Moore
Price: £4.79

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars In space nobody can hear you scream!, 14 Feb. 2015
This review is from: Moonraker [DVD] [1979] (DVD)
Based loosely on the David Niven book, 'Moonraker' is the fifteenth Bond film and generally perceived as the best Bond of them all by the fans. Why? Quite simply, it has the best costumes of any Bond movie. Bond's grey flannel suit with sewn on elbow patches caused a storm when the film came out, because the fashion world had never seen anything quite like it. Fast forward a few decades and the grey flannel suit is still one of the most discussed things at Bond conventions. The Bond villain, a classy Mongolian called Dracor is equally resplendent in an all-in-one beige catsuit, which leaves nothing to the imagination.

Dracor has landed on the planet Pluto and is developing a super new race of supreme beings, all of whom are women with permed blonde hair and big lips. When MI5 learns of this development, Bond is sent in to investigate. Along the way Bond romances three French maids, a sales assistant in a Florist and the entire ensemble of a women's only brass band. Moore, despite pushing sixty is suave and sophisticated in all his scenes, but you can visibly see where a stuntman had to double for Moore in a particularly energetic sequence where Bond has to rise from a restaurant chair with a sense of urgency.

The lead Bond girl is bland though and wears a wig. The scene where it floats off her head into outer space is a joy to watch, as is the moment where Bond walks out of M's office giving his boss the finger.

Rear Window [DVD] [1954]
Rear Window [DVD] [1954]
Dvd ~ James Stewart
Price: £5.00

5.0 out of 5 stars Time To Shut That Window!, 7 Feb. 2015
This review is from: Rear Window [DVD] [1954] (DVD)
I remember first seeing this when it received a test screening at our local theatre. Father had managed to get all of the family tickets through some very loose connection to Alfred Hitchcock. Father claims he used to shine Hitchcock's shoes at a tube station. I am not convinced because Father has never shown the remotest interest in shoes.

James Stewart (real name Stewart Curmit) plays sleazy adult-magazine photographer AJ Jefferson. Confined to a wheelchair due to a very uncomfortable pimple on his thigh, Jefferson spends most of his day sitting on his balcony and hurling abuse at his neighbours. That is until one night where he becomes convinced he has witnessed one of his neighbours commit a terrible crime, putting personal rubbish into another neighbour's bin.

Only the surly girlfriend, played by Gene Kelly can offer any distraction, but she does little except sit on sofas and moan about the weather.

There is plenty of tension, the scene where Jefferson ties his wheelchair to a piece of wire and winches himself out of the window and into an apartment on the other side of town is gripping, as is the scene where Jefferson and his girlfriend struggle to eat a very hot soup.

Hitchcock delivers his obligatory cameo, playing a beautiful ballerina, pirouetting in a leotard through a steamy window.

The Full Monty [1997] [DVD]
The Full Monty [1997] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Robert Carlyle
Offered by 101Trading
Price: £4.67

0 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A Partial Monty!, 4 Jan. 2015
This review is from: The Full Monty [1997] [DVD] (DVD)
Set in the bleak Scottish highlands, in a remote village where the population is just seven people, a group of six men agree to put on a stage show for the rest of the village.

The film follows their plight, as they experiment with Shakespeare, Swan Lake and Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. With none of their ideas working, the men decide it would be much easier if they just stood onstage in their underwear for an hour and recounted some of their personal family anecdotes.

With a cast list headed by Sean Bean and supporting roles from Jeremy Irons and the late Sir Oliver Reed, the actors gel well together. My only complaint is that Irons' choice of flannel briefs is rather unflattering.

A wonderful soundtrack plays while the men read their anecdotes. One of the highlights is where they all dance to the Nutcracker suite. As for the infamous 'full monty' ending, this was spoiled for me because mother marched into the lounge demanding we stop the film to eat our sausage casserole.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [DVD] [2013]
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [DVD] [2013]
Dvd ~ Martin Freeman
Price: £6.99

0 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good lord...!, 30 Dec. 2014
Loosely based on the books by Terry Pratchett, this is a welcome addition to the already busy canon. With directing duties handed to his step-niece La Toya, the film has a slightly different feel about it.

There are a few re-castings in this picture, mainly due to budget. The budget was unexpectedly slashed at the last minute when the studio realised it had invested too much money into the straight to DVD thriller 'Bald Men On A Bus' starring Jason Statham and Patrick Stewart. So we say goodbye to Sir Ian McKellen as Gandolf and Martin Freeman as Bilbo and welcome Brian Blessed and Steve Guttenberg, who were apparently far more affordable.

The film follows the infamous Bilbo Bagshott as he searches for a very rare ring in the mountains. This is a tedious quest because he is short-sighted and not that bothered whether he finds the ring or not. Assisted by a group of forty dwarfs, all of whom are played by Warwick Davis, Bilbo must find the ring before the treacherous Baron Smaudor gets his hands on it. Baron Smaudor is a very tepid villain, who is only referenced and never shown in the flesh.

The costumes are not quite up to par, with each character wearing what looks to be a one-sie with the head bit cut off. I managed to overlook some of the mistakes though and immersed myself in the film. There is a wonderful moment where Legolas (Val Kilmer) is practicing firing his bow and arrow and 'accidently' shoots Gandolf in the head. Being a mighty wizard, Gandolf is not injured for long and soon gets his revenge on Legolas by turning him into a goat.

I enjoyed the film and recommend it for anyone who enjoys fantasy films and very long end credits (twenty nine minutes - I was the only person left in the theatre at this point with my stopwatch.)

White Christmas [DVD]
White Christmas [DVD]
Dvd ~ Bing Crosby
Price: £3.00

4.0 out of 5 stars I'm Dreaming Of A ..., 13 Dec. 2014
This review is from: White Christmas [DVD] (DVD)
I often dreamed of a white Christmas when I was younger. Father would do his best to make the house looks festive, stapling white felt to the walls and covering the floors in flour, but this was swiftly knocked on the head when mother realised she had no flour left to make her Christmas cake and used baking soda instead. The cake was uneatable and Aunt Grace spent a month in hospital after.

This charming 1920's film stars Bill Cosby, Dick van Dyke, Bette Davis and another woman who is unbilled on the cast list. Basically four strangers get marooned at a cottage on Christmas Eve and have to make their own entertainment.

They play charades, clean the house, make some mince pies, smoke some interesting substances and have a major argument over whether to have a star or an angel on the top of the Christmas tree. Their Christmas then falls apart as home truths come out - Cosby's character reveals he is a womaniser, gambler and on the run from the law for stealing a tangerine from a market stall. Bette Davis plays a conniving drunk, the scene where she deliberately gives Dick van Dyke one less brussel sprout than everyone else is heart wrenching and cruel.

I enjoyed the film and the part where they all frolic in the snow wearing just strategically placed stockings is wonderful. Plus, Bill sings White Christmas at the end, out of tune.

Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi (Limited Edition) [DVD]
Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi (Limited Edition) [DVD]
Dvd ~ Mark Hamill
Offered by HalfpriceDVDS_FBA
Price: £23.90

5.0 out of 5 stars A Concise Yet Accurate Review, 7 Dec. 2014
I only bought this because Princess Leia is on the DVD cover in a bikini.
Enough said I feel.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 13, 2014 8:41 PM GMT

The Hunger Games [DVD]
The Hunger Games [DVD]
Dvd ~ Jennifer Lawrence
Price: £4.00

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not One To Watch On An Empty Stomach, 6 Dec. 2014
This review is from: The Hunger Games [DVD] (DVD)
My parents used to play something called 'The Hunger Games' with me and my brother, when we were younger. On occasions where we had been badly behaved or when mother was having one her 'episodes', we would be banished to the drawing room. Mother would turn the key and leave us locked in there with nothing except for a large ceramic plate. Myself and my brother had to hunt for food, place it on the plate and present it to mother at the end of the day. This game was very tedious, as there was never any food in the room. This always gave mother an excuse to moan more and send us upstairs to bed early, as we had 'lost' the game. Mother is better now, but we still warn house guests to watch out if mother suddenly appears clutching a large iron key and ceramic plate.

The film is loosely based on the novels by previously unheard of author Gwendoline Burphouse. I have not read the books, but I have heard that they are only published in paperback in Maori, so I have avoided them because I detest paperback books.

Onto the plot. The film centres around a girl, whose name is never mentioned in the film. She wins a competition where she gets to take part in a Big Brother style show. in the jungle. She has to survive being evicted from the jungle and the only way she can do this is completing a series of challenges. Her prize if she wins...a lifetime's supply of bananas. (One delivered to her house a week.)

Some of the challenges posed are poor. The one where she has to find three different sized branches is not very exciting, nor is the one where she has bob for apples. Luckily, a very exciting challenge finally appears in the last twenty minutes, where she has to draw an accurate map to scale. I used to love graphical drawing at school and this scene is beautifully played out in real time. For fifteen glorious minutes we get to see her crafting a map out of parchment.

The other contestants put into the game are a mixed bunch. David Bowie and Emma Thompson are delightfully miscast as two mercenaries and even a computer generated sequence starring the late Oliver Reed fails to deliver.

The film is still very enjoyable though, despite a hefty five hour running time. The map drawing sequence and fonts used on the scrolling end credits more than made up for the poor content of the rest of the film.

The Expendables 3 [DVD]
The Expendables 3 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Sylvester Stallone
Price: £7.00

1 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Slightly Explosive Fun, 15 Nov. 2014
This review is from: The Expendables 3 [DVD] (DVD)
Was another sequel really needed? We all know this started as a television show in the fifties before it was made into a film saga. I remember the TV show well, in which Stallone also starred. The show started life as a gentle family sitcom, in which Stallone lived his busy-body mother (Bette Midler) before it shifted to a full-on action film.

This sequel packs an all star cast including Steve Guttenberg, Julian Clary and Hugh Grant. The plot is straight forward enough, when a group of terrorists seize control of a Waterstones bookstore in LA, the team of the Expendables are called in to take charge. Stallone heads the cast as down on his luck road sweeper turned hit-man Merv Panda. His team are made of retired everyday men. there's Len (Guttenberg) an ex bus driver who is a dab hand with a truncheon and insurance broker Nigel (Hugh Grant) who also happens to be a lethal ninja.

Sadly, there is no action at all for the first hour, as the men sit in a bar and reminisce about 'days gone by.' This really slows the film down, as does the self-indulgent karaoke scene where Stallone sings the full length version of 'American Pie'.

On the plus side, there are some fun chase scenes, my favourite scene was where Stallone and John Cleese steal a motorbike and sidecar and chase some swans around a town square for a few minutes.

I won't spoil the ending, but let's just say one major character is horrifically killed when the entire works of Beatrix Potter fall on him from a great height in the bookstore.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 8, 2014 6:14 PM GMT

Lady and the Tramp (1955) (Limited Edition Artwork & O-ring) [DVD]
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (Limited Edition Artwork & O-ring) [DVD]
Price: £16.62

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not So Much A True Lady, 25 Oct. 2014
This started life as a West End musical before being turned into a Disney film. Lady was of course played by Lauren Bacall and Tramp by Burl Ives. The Disney version takes all of the charm of the stage show and brings it to life with animation. For the first time, Disney use colour and it's clearly a learning curve, as the dogs change colour numerous times throughout the film.

Lady (voiced by Eartha Kitt) is a pretentious collie dog who spends most of her days lying in her basket and hissing at anyone who walks past. Also prone to bouts of wind, she is not the most likeable female lead. Thank goodness then for the charismatic Tramp (voiced by Oliver Reed.) Tramp might be a down on his luck, drunk mongrel with very little fur left, but his heart is in the right place.

A chance meeting between Lady and Tramp in a brothel results in a feverish love affair. Several memorable moments follow, such as the infamous dining sequence where they share a pizza. Lady is sick afterwards (a wheat allergy) and has to be hospitalised for a week. Then there's the more subtle moments, where Tramp's nose twitches; he winces as Lady swings her posterior in his direction.

The supporting cast are strong, namely Sidney Poitier who plays a very camp poodle, whom Lady and Tramp meet in a dubious back alley bar, while on a boozy night out.

Definitely one of the finer Disney films. My DVD came with what appeared to be an authentic scent attached. There was a strong dog odour when I unwrapped the disc, but that might have been my date for the night; Gloria is prone to bouts of bad breath and does lives with sixteen great danes.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 12, 2014 2:49 PM GMT

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