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Profile for J. McInnes > Reviews

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Reviews Written by
J. McInnes "chronic procrastinator" (Portsmouth, UK)

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Silverline 999666 Rechargeable Torch 1 Million Candle Power 1 Million
Silverline 999666 Rechargeable Torch 1 Million Candle Power 1 Million
Price: £10.29

2 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I've seen the light! (not really, it's just a joke), 14 Oct. 2011
Oh my little girl, what a wonderful product this is! Of course, even the most naive and susceptible of you might be wondering why I would make such a bold claim, so I'll tell you.

The first great thing about this product is its price. You might be thinking, "It's nothing special, I've bought cheaper torches in the past", but of course they didn't boast the sheer power of this beastly thing. You see, originally I had planned to just buy a million plain wax candles like any ordinary person would do (of course I could have opted for one of the many varieties of candle such as scented, floating or advent), but what with the street price of a candle averaging somewhere around 75p, this would have to have been a very long-term investment. Of course I understand that the wonderful candle-makers of our country need to make a living, and to be honest I will probably still be requiring their services when it comes to preparing my grandmother's birthday cake in a few months' time, but I just don't have the resources to raise three-quarters-of-a-million pounds within my current life circumstances. This torch, on the other hand, at the absurd price of £12, is an absolute steal. You could probably even just steal it if you wanted, but it would require a lot of planning and probably isn't worth the time and effort.

Is that all? No it flipping well isn't! Another amazing thing about this fantabulous item is that it also solves the logistical nightmare one would probably be faced with if they tried to light one million candles. There are many obstacles in such a task: the first is how you would go about it - safety matches? Lighter? Good ol' fashioned petrol? And even once you've chosen your method of combustion, lighting a million candles is no easy task. I once tried to light a mere 1000 candles as an experiment to refer to when I was reviewing a now-obsolete model of torch, and by the time I approached triple figures, many of the first candles I had lit had become reduced to a messy wax puddle! Of course, you could always recruit some friends to help you carry out the task, but what if your friends are busy (maybe you don't have any friends!).

The fact of the matter is, neither of these factors are an issue any longer with this fine piece of electronic gadgetry. You simply switch it on, and hey pesto! - the luminosity of a million candles is literally at your fingertips. I do however recommend you also add at least 10 cans of moth killer spray to your basket before going to the checkout.


9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb!, 7 Sept. 2010
This review is from: 4'33'' (MP3 Download)
You all know this piece of music; used everywhere from UK digital terrestrial channel Dave's off-air test card to the background music performed during televised golf matches. Millions of electrical appliances worldwide have adopted it as their 'sleep mode' music. The majority of national radio stations used to play the EP on repeat throughout the night (although with an increasing demand by the younger generation for more conventional pop music it has taken a backseat from the heavy rotation playlists).

And yet despite the ubiquity of this iconic compositon, the name of John Cage remains largely unknown to most households, except for those confusing him with his Mortal Kombat namesake.

A defining aspect of 4'33" is that it cannot be easily pigeonholed into one style. A fine example of a genre-shattering crossover piece, pompous so-called "musicologists" often attempt to label it with such throwaway terms as 'minimal', 'contemporary classical' or 'musique concrète' but I would highly recommend disregarding such nonsense, especially from the famously misinformed writer Isaac Cox.

Thus, here is John Cage's original composition available for the first time to the iTunes/MP3 generation. With not a second of this golden masterpiece lost (as has previously happened due to scrutiny from radio stations for an abridged edit), you can enjoy it the way Cage intended.

Say what you will about the gangsta rap version that became an underground club hit in the late 80s, or the recently championed dubstep version, but in my opinion none manage to perfectly encapsulate all of the subtle nuances of the original. Remixes, renditions and covers aside - of which there have been many - this is the version that started it all.

So what are you waiting for? Add this timeless release to your digital media library today and you'll never look back. Don't forget to tell your friends and relatives either! Nothing would make me happier than to hear a busful of youths chiming 4'33" from their mobile phones and iPods.

On a side note, I would be interested in meeting the mastering engineer of this particular version of the release, as he has met the recording's challenging acoustic demands immaculately. Aurally unblemished from start to finish, not once does the dynamic range become compromised.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 5, 2010 10:05 PM BST

Silverline 763591 Tubular Shaft Claw Hammer, 8 oz
Silverline 763591 Tubular Shaft Claw Hammer, 8 oz
Price: £3.76

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A bangtastic experience!!, 29 Oct. 2009
It is mad to think that, in this day and age and with all the technology we have at our disposal, there is still a significant number of people (mainly in parts of rural England) living their life without one or more hammers to make their life easier. In light of this, I can highly recommend the Silverline 8oz Tubular Shaft Claw Hammer as a hammer not just for the entry-level hand tool enthusiasts and long-term hammer connoisseurs alike, but also for those unfamiliar with the logistics of hammering.

Typical of most claw hammers it has a grip made of premium quality black rubber; in fact this is the exact same rubber used by the Soviet Union to make fuel rockets during the Space Race of the mid-1900s, so you can expect a good quality grip that's not going to malfunction at any point in time. The head of this hammer is also a wonder of modern-day tool craftsmanship and after your first use of this superb tool, be it to drive a stake into a vampire acquaintance this Halloween or to undertake basic diagnostics on your computer, you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.

These Silverline 8oz Tubular Shaft Claw Hammers are available in extremely limited quantities only, so buy now to avoid a state of extreme misery and disappointment!
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 25, 2009 9:22 PM GMT

"Gund My First Snowman 8.5"""
"Gund My First Snowman 8.5"""

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Snowman can make me enjoy this toy less!, 9 Nov. 2007
While I may be accosted for this, I feel I should get it out of the way as to give as honest a review as possible. This is not, in fact, my first snowman. I have owned at least three prior to the purchase of this one. It is, however, the BEST snowman that I have ever had the privilege of calling my own.

Now that that unpleasantness is behind us, let me continue with my review of My First Snowman 8.5".

Upon opening this product, the first thought that occured to me was "actually, I'm pretty hungry, I should, perhaps, open this later", but I managed to fight off my crippling eating disorder for long enough to open the box. And, boy, was I pleasantly surprised! 8.5" may not sound like a lot, but in first snowman terms, it is, indeed, gigantic.

The Snowman is very well packaged. I had expected some melting to have taken place during its journey to my homestead, and to my chagrin, some had. However, this was later discovered to have been my incontinent grandmother, so this does not take away from my pleasant experience with the product!

I immediately had to see for myself just how huggable this little white creature was and "oh my", I said. "That is indeed cuddly". Does it warrant the "World's Most Huggable" title? That is completely subjective. In my view, however, yes. Yes it does. Understandably my wife is a little unhappy about this but GUND said it, not me. I will continue to enjoy this product until at least the Spring, but then I will have to get rid of it. OCD-related product rejection aside, I am looking forward to the coming months!

Thank you, My First Snowman 8.5"

Do Not Open
Do Not Open
by John Farndon
Edition: Hardcover

1 of 40 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Innovative, but not for everyone!, 9 Nov. 2007
This review is from: Do Not Open (Hardcover)
As a keen reader of instructional and advice publications, I've previously never come across a book quite so to-the-point as Dorling Kindersley's poignant "Do Not Open", so you can understand why I was somewhat sceptical about buying it at first. The front blurb describes the book as "An encyclopedia of the world's best-kept secrets", but thanks to the genius title of the book itself, it will certainly remain a timeless family favourite for generations.

At the time of writing I have owned this book for 2 weeks and have yet to open it. Thankfully, the hardback cover means I can prop it against a nearby windowledge or mantlepiece which means I don't have to constantly hold the book as I read it. Perhaps a bit of an involved read for those who have a full-time job, if you have regular time to devote yourself to reading then it's an indisputably great purchase.

Strand CD Plastic Wallets 100 Pack
Strand CD Plastic Wallets 100 Pack
Offered by hibaba
Price: £3.95

37 of 49 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic solution!, 9 Nov. 2007
Strand CD Plastic Wallets are an unrivalled revolution in CD storage. Imagine my surprise when I was given a box of them by a loved one on Valentine's Day to open it and find not 1, not 65, not 82.5 but ONE HUNDRED of these invaluable storage units, essential for safeguarding my most treasured optical media from everyday wear and tear, as well as curious but slow-witted children.

Although it's not 100% certain Strand were the first people to come up with the idea, the transparency of these things just adds a whole new dimension to the CD experience, so they certainly deserve praise for at least recognising the transparency of CD wallets as being a tremendously good idea. I feel I'm able to appreciate the CD visually as much inside the wallet as outside, which is just a splendid added bonus really.

Another innovative part of these wallets' design is that they will hold ANY kind of CD. That's right; I have tried countless albums, from The Axel Boys Quartet to Zpandau Ballet and not one could cause the wallets to malfunction.

Finally, something which still amazes me to this day (and I have been a loyal user of Strand's wallets for 10 years now) is the sheer durability of the wallets. These wallets WILL NOT break under the brute force of any blunt object, such as a hammer, baseball bat or prosthetic limb. My eldest aunt-in-law and my best friend witnessed this test as carried out on a kitchen worktop and they can vouch for my findings should you not believe me!

And in fact, why should you believe me? For all you know I've never used these things in my life (though I have, and I'm all too glad I discovered them), and at their astonishingly low price it would be criminal not to put your current CD storage system aside to give these a trial. Give yourselves a pat on the back once again, Strand!
Comment Comments (12) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 31, 2010 10:17 AM BST

Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £14.99

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic, 24 Oct. 2006
This review is from: Lazytown (Audio CD)
I beg to differ with the other review here, I was expecting a musical piece and this is just what was delivered. This soundtrack covering most of the popular tracks from the Lazytown series is an unadulterated journey through dance music with cutting edge production throughout.

This is possibly one of the greatest albums of the year!

Konami Karaoke Microphone & Dancing Stage Fusion Bundle (PS2)
Konami Karaoke Microphone & Dancing Stage Fusion Bundle (PS2)

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Genius!, 11 Sept. 2006
This is an excellent bundle to buy if you want a MICROPHONE for a DANCING game!

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