Profile for Blackmale > Reviews

Personal Profile

Content by Blackmale
Top Reviewer Ranking: 18,556
Helpful Votes: 475

Learn more about Your Profile.

Reviews Written by
Blackmale (Newcastle upon Tyne, UK)

Show:  
Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11-13
pixel
The Day the Earth Stood Still [DVD] [2008]
The Day the Earth Stood Still [DVD] [2008]
Dvd ~ Keanu Reeves
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.73

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Shameful attack on the original. A film with no redeeming qualities., 20 Jun 2011
If you have personally taken even the merest degree of pleasure from this motion picture, I applaud you for having succeeded where I have completely failed. Let my fulsome condemnation of this loathsome celluloid experience remain my own isolated opinion and in no way challenge to those who see otherwise.

Unremittingly predictable aimless meandering. Plot points are delivered with the subtlety of a freight train. Two hours of unyielding narrative bereft of depth I was disappointed when the cast repeatedly escape slaughter.
Scott Derricklson's directs with passionless indifference. Witness the "deafening" calm as Yankee(?) Stadium is vapourised.
Having not seen other outings and therefore judged entirely on this evidence, young Jadine (Will and Jada Pinketts) Smith has no future without repeating this corruption of nepotism.
Jennifer Connelly, picks up pretty much where she left off A BEAUTIFUL MIND giving the same sublime treatment to this ridiculous and dull characterisation. Why MUST female leads be interesting OR intelligent, but rarely both?
Keanu Reeves is excused the deserved pasting, because this time he is intentionally wooden.
Kathy Bates delivery (of Madeline Albright?) evokes Jack Nicholson in Batman. Great performance rendered daft by the apathetic neglect of the rest of the cast. If they don't take this seriously Kath, why should you?
Special effects comprehensively over-treat. The elegant simplicity of the original's GORT is lost within the superficial CGI used to Photoshop at every other opportunity. The director couldn't simply call the "shot" so did it all in post-production, with the sudden appearance of two golden arches heralding the very worst product placement I have yet been insulted by.
I found this film contemptible and truly difficult to place in context, but I offer the following as a superior consumption of 120 minutes:-
Howard the Duck
Mac and Me
Airbud
MVP
Thunderpants
Thunderbirds (2004)
Sex in the City II.
I can readily recall only a single flick less creditworthy than this shameful reconstitution and that would have to be SOUL PLANE also from 2004 - Trust me, if you haven't already...NEVER do !

When we go to war to preserve "our way of life," I really think one should take a closer look at what our way of life occasionally includes. Should I live to be 178 years, I would still look back on two hours spent in front of the screen in 2011 as being an unjustified waste of oxygen.


Targus TCB001EU Atmosphere XL Laptop Computer Backpack fits 17 - 18 inch laptops, Black/Blue
Targus TCB001EU Atmosphere XL Laptop Computer Backpack fits 17 - 18 inch laptops, Black/Blue
Price: £43.09

5.0 out of 5 stars Lifetime warranty for the Business Class "brief case" you wear on your back., 16 Jun 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
When my ANTLER wore out the limitations of its successor, the EXECUTEC, gave rise to an epic journey passing through SAMSONITE, BRIGGS & RILEY, JANSPORT, NIKE, NORTH FACE and more before settling for TARGUS. Why?
"Airline-proof" armoured fabrics.
1 Horizontal zip pocket.
1 vertical zip pocket.
Left/Right webbed padded side zip pockets for power supply unit and (only just) 500ml bottle.
VERY thick armoured (faux alcantara) seat material.
Two adjustable straps attached to the seat support weight and retain the shape by tying down interior content of the bag in use and when free standing.
Zip compartment located in the seat that includes the attached rain cover for the whole backpack.
Side support straps to retain the bag shape.
Elasticated, webbed, chest-bracing straps to secure the bag around your body.
The main shoulder straps are very thick, look strong and like they are anchored securely.
Twin loops for g-hooking small items.
Telephone pocket, g-hooked to the shoulder straps. Cunningly shaped to fit YOUR iPhone, but not MY Blackberry (least not including the sleeve anyway).
Integral locking waist belt to tie the pack around you, or by reversing its direction - could be used to secure something else to the back - occasionally.

....and then I opened it..... And found:-
Main double zip pocket large enough to accommodate most laptops, holds an 11.6inch unit both landscape or portrait comfortably.
1 business card window.
3 elastic pen loops - two sized for writing pens, one for a whiteboard marker.
1 zipped web slot pocket.
Velcro pocket - desktop calculator sized.
Velcro pocket - large phone (including my Blackberry sleeve) sized.
2 thick, fixed dividers give three sections large enough to organise A4 documents, strong enough to locate 11.9 laptop (held portrait).
Main compartment fits a 17 inch laptop comfortably, with an integral sleeve with 5mm thick padded foam sleeve and still leaves enough room for both an office suit jacket and an A4 sized folio (think A4 FILOFAX, plus handles and you're there).

Weighing 1.48kg the whole show lands softly on your back courtesy of two shoulder webbed cushions with 10mm of foam padding and a cushion with 20mm padding for your lower back.
When you are done, it is solidly built to completely retain shape - regardless of content - standing proudly upright.

Criticisms? Only Two.
The narrow phone carrier. In the smartphone era this is a little short-sighted.
The specification is so long, you raise expectations way above any level you have a right to (note my phone gripes) or you start looking for places for stuff you really shouldn't be carrying in the first place - at least I did.

And finally, while (unjustifiably) giving second thoughts to my purchase, I looked across at the bag used (and abused) for 8 solid years prior to the ANTLER that survived just 9 months. I examined every seal, seat, zip pocket, Velcro and corner. All of them remained intact with only a single crack in the leather handle as testimony to thousands of miles porting far more weight than the manufacturer recommends. The name on the front - TARGUS.
In my opinion other brands may protect my image, but none protect my equipment as well as this.
I rest my "case."


You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet
Price: £0.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Exactly what you were looking for, 7 Mar 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
The original version, original length, carefully restored and recaptured.
This is not one of the later re-records floating around from the reformed line-up.
Safe and sound


Anything Featuring Patti Labelle, Mary Mary & Kanye West
Anything Featuring Patti Labelle, Mary Mary & Kanye West

5.0 out of 5 stars Simple formulaic rap/soul but I still can't help playing it, 9 Feb 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I'd like to think there is some real art in my music collection... and a lot of audio chewing gum
The latter category is my reason for owning this little gem. Caught during some lazy iTunes listening while working studiously on something so important I have completely forgotten it. I suddenly switched from auto pilot to "what-the-hell-is-that" mode.
Bought it for buttons on Amazon and would have warn it out completely if it were physical. Thank heavens for MP3. Played repeat for an hour or so.... And to be honest I can't easily figure out why.

It is lively, upbeat, very spiritual, motivational soul, but never steps a foot outside the entirely predictable, digitally sampled plus drum world of 21 Century R'N'B.

Patti Labelle is elderly, but still has the magic by the barrel load. Mary Mary do what they always do and make you stand up and take notice as soon as they start up. Rap I am tired of but there is an interesting take on this to keep the whole show rolling until you hit the replay button.
Guaranteed no awards will be snatched with this but in the way that a McDonalds or Subway addresses hunger, same as a Cola cures thirst, this keeps your ears happy asking nothing in return.
If you play and you hate it, no problem it's pop NOT art.
If you do fall for it, great, but don't crow. It's pop NOT art.

For now I'll add to my shortlist of guilty pleasures.


Much Love
Much Love
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.70

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Very limited appeal - IN RETURN far stronger, 9 Feb 2011
This review is from: Much Love (Audio CD)
I rarely dispose of music. Once bought - it really just HAS to stay. I'll take care over what I allow to move in with me but occasionally surprise myself with some of the loathsome trash I still live with. Apologies to Shola Ama fans alive and still grooving but you're about to be upset.

I shelled out full beans for this one a decade ago, when buying CD's required serious financial commitment. I had major doubts about my wasted wonga back then, but still waited patiently to see if time would change this? After years collecting dust I decided to listen again.
....And it's still vacuous trash!
But, not without some small redeeming qualities:-
It is beautifully sung. Miss Ama in particular is sweetly flawless throughout and expensively produced with a crisp clean veneer over otherwise tasteless 90's synth and drum. Three cheery "pop tunes" make the case for themselves for no other reason they sound good to sing/dance to.

BUT! This project was hopelessly rushed.
I postulate - Chasing a meteoric rise to fame, riding the guaranteed groove that was Randy Crawford's seminal "YOU MIGHT NEED SOMEBODY" WARNER BROS leaped long before they looked and gathering nine minutes of serious pop, then slopped in 40 minutes padding. Nervously eyeing the calendar in the hope of a release date before the next Janet Jackson comeback was due, I reckon they wrapped up a parcel of rejected ideas for somebody more established and said "...ere Sholes luv, see what you make of these. Her Highness Diva Wassername thought they were the dogs wotsits, but there wasn't room on `er album." And poor Ama, still too young and trusting to argue, bought it hook line and sinker, rolling in her advance to back it right into the shops.
In context of the era, recalling when folk had the courtesy to dance with before they slept with a partner, you'd probably find it was perfect backing to a "well good hour" of bumpin' an grindin.' I don't argue. However, next morning playing a taped copy from the dashboard of your Cavalier GLSi, you might well be having second thoughts.....
Ama warbling aside, 40 mins of dull, meaningless, going nowhere, repetitive, lightweight, girly, bubble-gum, "...we got a love" "...my summer love" "...you were my only love" mind-numbing TRASH!
Pop should be cheap and disposable, dance music should make you want to. The follow up IN RETURN is simpler but vastly better.

I genuinely love the Crawford cover as an alternative without overtaking the original. #4 "Who's loving my baby," also gets my attention but the remainder barely passes for mood music at the dentist chair. I actually stopped for a double take at track #6. Here is a song desperately in search of a lyricist, endlessly cycling the same four syllables around as many different refrains as can be attached to a single key/tempo combination. IT'S JUST HIDEOUS!

3 half descent singles. The rest should have been hurled from the Walkman into the bin marked DEMO's.


Everybody Wants To Rule The World (In The Style Of 'Tears For Fears')
Everybody Wants To Rule The World (In The Style Of 'Tears For Fears')
Price: £0.99

4.0 out of 5 stars A little thin for ZOOM. Otherwise up to the mark, 18 Jan 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
HiFi production, somehow sounds a bit FM-Radio here. All other boxes checked with the ending also welcome in place of the original fade out. Job done.


Are You Ready For Love (In The Style Of 'Elton John')
Are You Ready For Love (In The Style Of 'Elton John')
Price: £0.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Nice recording, poorly edited, 18 Jan 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Glitch at the start, and a syncopation error at the lyrical opening, ruin an otherwise typically competent Zoom rendition of the original. For the uninitiated zooms are Hi-Fi reproductions with appropriate endings to draw you to a predictable close.


Black 6.35 mm Mono Jack Plugs (2x) to 3.5 mm Stereo Jack Plug Lead
Black 6.35 mm Mono Jack Plugs (2x) to 3.5 mm Stereo Jack Plug Lead
Offered by Motionperformance - Waxacar
Price: £1.37

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly very good., 18 Jan 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
So cheap as to defy consideration but here goes anyway.

These are heavily shielded leads, with a snug fit. They function and perform very well.
Wrapped and packed professionally to be guaranteed to arrive safely if you are going to use them yourself and retail ready if you buying inventory.

Solid, safe purchase.


Wonderful Christmastime
Wonderful Christmastime

4.0 out of 5 stars Titled to decieve..., 18 Jan 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Bought for the obligatory Christmas party, I need offer no furher juustification.
I add therefore the following. The embedded digital title refers to the source compilation album rather than any link to Monsieur McCartney et al having a wonderful time at Christmas. Consequently once loaded you'll struggle to find it. Unless you re-name the file you'll be repeatedly annoyed.

For what it's worth folk still love this. For one month each year - Essential.


The Last Exorcism [DVD]
The Last Exorcism [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ashley Bell
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.73

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Possibly worth watching, probably not worth buying. And it's NEVER a horror., 18 Jan 2011
This review is from: The Last Exorcism [DVD] (DVD)
The genre is NOT horror, of that I am certain,
However, on reviewing the final cut the producers were likely challenged by where to position the marketing and plumped for lowest hanging fruit.
THE LAST EXCORCISM trials everything from documentary, horror, occult, black comedy, teen horror/splatter movie, spoof etc. but fails to satisfy in any direction explored.
The cinema piece I saw was black comedy. I'll suggest they were aiming for the reaction we gave films like FARGO, but I stress that is where any similarity ends.
The superficial "exorcism" plotline appears to be a MacGuffin where the real intent, however poorly recounted, is simply an examination of one Reverend Cotton Marcus and his alleged conscience.

Set up in "mockumentary" fashion the film ticks boxes that are obvious to the point of cliché. Roving, single reference video camera made to look like outside broadcast news footage.
The associations with BLAIR WITCH are unavoidable and demonstrate poor judgement exercised by the producer. BW was intentionally more than 80 minutes of cinema. Here was a daring "you-can-only-get-this-the-first-time" multi-media experience drawing on then pioneering viral campaign techniques to suspend belief in advance with the precision crafting of a modern day myth. By the time you arrived at the screening you were at the concluding stage of an extended journey of self-induced convincing of the inconvincible. EXCORCISM borrows heavily from BLAIR to economise on explanation but utterly fails to do the former justice when it visibly abandons the whole idea switching uncomfortably to an almost routine presentation of the final act.
The film is doomed from the start through indecision. It bounces all over the place with heavy handed referencing of everything from SIXTH SENSE, THE EXCORCIST, said BLAIR WITCH and even RACE WITH THE DEVIL in approximately that order.
Too light to seriously engage, it is equally too heavy to be passed off as simply spoof and ultimately betrayed as plain poorly executed.

The film achieves an 18 rating on the basis of content not imagery. The book says "see blood `n' guts...give an 18 rating." The upset comes from the sense of being taken for a ride rather than the buckets of offal spilled for increasingly no good purpose. U18's will NOT be scared but it is not "suitable" for younger audiences owing to the subject matter and potential associations with occult and demonic possession. These remain unresolved issues with censors.

Redeeming points are few - Patrick Fabian delivers a measured account of the self-confessed snakeoil selling preachers exploitation of faithful but gullible Southerners. It is unlikely you'll see any of the supporting cast anytime soon.
EXCORCISM was crafted on a shoestring ($2million) yet raked in a fortune (relatively speaking) with +$64million worldwide so unfortunately the last laugh may have been on us.

It all drove off in the right direction, but at 83 minutes erupts abruptly in a car crash of insincerity and a hastily tacked on ending.
I stay on the fence offering the following in conclusion:-
The story told is worthy of merit. The storyTELLING is not.


Page: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11-13