0 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Bland, poorly produced prog-metal band with cookie monster demon vocals, no tunes and no weight to kick your head in with, 26 Mar 2013
This review comes from an internet game. You buy an album you've never heard of from a shop. Then you write your impression of it before and after listening to it for the first time.
---BEFORE LISTENING TO IT---
WHY DID YOU SELECT THIS ONE? The cover makes it look like progressive rock inspired ambient music. I expect the band comes from Sweden or Norway and do big, ambitious classical inspired suits instead of mere songs. Also I wouldn't be surprised if it's a concept album. As a Pink Floyd fan I can't help but be curious about these types of things. I'm not at all convinced that it will be even listenable, but I thought I'd take a big gamble on it.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE COVER? It's a photograph of two giant rocks (I doubt they're hills, or that they are manmade structures) with a bridge connecting them at the top. The night sky is bathed in majestic colours caused by an astrological event or something. It's nothing great but it's of interest to me as I recognise the place. If I remember right Kenneth Anger filmed Marianne Faithful at this location for his avant-garde 30 minute film Lucifer Rising (a comically bad movie). Apparently it's a place of pilgrimage for Satanists, druids etc because of the regularity of these glowing sky events. Of course, it could be a made up sci-fi painting of an alien landscape?
WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC ARE YOU REALISTICALLY EXPECTING? High, keening male vocals on mostly slow, quiet, hushed, ambient music disrupted every five minutes by big operatic heavy metal sections. I also expect long songs of about seven to fifteen minutes. The bands I'm most comparing them to are The Gathering
(soft prog-metal with operatic female vocals) and Our Broken Garden
(gothic, stately, chilly ambient music with female vocals). The song titles are in English but I wouldn't be surprised if it's all instrumental or sung in multiple languages. Or even done in made up words like the Cocteau Twins. It was in the main rock section so I doubt it's a metal album.
BEST CASE SCENARIO IT WILL SOUND LIKE? As described but with female vocals. Also more up-tempo metal than down-tempo mood pieces. Hopefully the language used will be pretty sounding. Any hints of Pink Floyd will be gratefully received, even if it's more Atom Heart Mother than Wish You Were Here.
WORST CASE SCENARIO IT WILL SOUND LIKE? New age music. Or just really complicated musicianly stuff that leaves the listener out in the cold as they go about impressing each other with their technical brilliance. They might be like Dream Theatre in other words.
HIGH, LOW OR MIDDLING EXPECTATIONS? Middling. It can so easily go either way.
ANY OTHER COMMENTS? The back tracklist has the album split into two sections. Ten songs for part one, and three for part two. It wasn't until I bought it and they were putting the discs in the box that I realised that it was a double album.
---AFTER LISTENING TO IT---
WHAT DID IT SOUND LIKE? It's a fairly soft bit of metal music with ambient passages. The male vocals are about 80% clean and 20% cookie monster demon growl. I have no idea why performers think demon vocals are a good idea. Even more puzzling, why do some listeners like it? It's an awful singing style and it ruins everything its connected to. It's one of the reason why I never take a chance on metal music without hearing something first. I fear paying money for music with that vocal style.
As for the clean vocals, they are that curiously anodyne, characterless style that seems popular among modern obscure metal bands. I'm getting flashbacks to downloading metal music on eMusic and finding almost all of it to be weak to begin with, and outright crap in the long run. I doubt a single metal download from then is still on my iPod.
The production sounded mushy and indistinct to me. When I stopped playing this and put something else on, the new music would sound so much better sonically.
DID YOU LIKE IT? It was boring. There was just no character to any of it. Everything sounded the same and there was no discernible tune or an interesting lyric to be found. Very, very, very bland. Also for metal music it was strangely lightweight with no attack to it. I gave up on track seven. I then read some reviews on Amazon and they sounded enthusiastic about it. So I decided to try again. I finished disc one. I then got a bit of the way into the first track on disc two before giving up again. I then skipped about disc two. As far as I can tell it's an instrumental disc of droning, directionless music. They are aiming for epic. They are missing the mark by an epic amount.
DID IT SATISFY, SURPASS OR FAIL YOUR EXPECTATIONS? I half expected it to be a massive turd. It is.
WHAT ARE THE BEST SONGS? N/A
WHAT ARE THE WEAKEST SONGS? All of them.
WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT TO OTHERS? Ha ha. Maybe on repeat plays it comes together, but the first listen was so bad that I'm only too happy to not give it a second chance. The CDs are not staying in my collection.
PLEASE DESCRIBE AND SUM IT UP IN ONE SENTENCE. Bland, poorly produced prog-metal band with cookie monster demon vocals, no tunes and no weight to kick your head in with.
ANY OTHER COMMENTS? I got the band name and the album title confused with each other when I bought it.
They are a French band that sings in English.
The cover art has no connection to the Lucifer Rising location. There is no information in the booklet, but I assume it's either a painting or a computer creation.