Profile for A. Jones > Reviews

Personal Profile

Content by A. Jones
Top Reviewer Ranking: 1,854,507
Helpful Votes: 75

Learn more about Your Profile.

Reviews Written by
A. Jones
(REAL NAME)   

Show:  
Page: 1
pixel
The Space Machine
The Space Machine
by Christopher Priest
Edition: Paperback
Price: £8.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars accurate and beautiful - in fact even more so, 13 Dec. 2014
This review is from: The Space Machine (Paperback)
Christopher Priest's writing is, as ever, lucid, accurate and beautiful - in fact even more so, as he deliberately takes on some of the style of HG Wells.

The story is quite brilliant, and more of a page-turner than some of his other novels. However, this edition of the book loses a star from me because of the terrible typesetting! I've never seen a professionally published book with so many typos in it!

Page 131 has no full stops, and from then on they're sporadic at best. There are even incorrect words, as if the books been typed using predictive text!

Christopher Priest would be turning in his grave if he wasn't still alive!


How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You
How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You
Price: £8.54

2.0 out of 5 stars We're not in Kansas anymore..., 16 Jan. 2012
Awful. The advice might be good (although most of it's just obvious) but it's difficult to tell because the prose is so turgid, the characters in the anecdotes so unrealistic, and the whole thing is written in the perky, tippy-toe-twinkling language of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz or Scarlett O'Hara.

Every one of Leil Lowndes friends is a rich business owner, lawyer, film star or the like. And she's got a LOT of friends! And yet not one of them with an ounce of self-awareness or common sense...

This book is more like a script for a U.S. sitcom from the 50s than anything else. It's so USA-centric that it's ridiculous. Didn't she realise it was going to be sold in countries where people don't behave like that?

Patronising.


Swiftly: A Novel (GOLLANCZ S.F.)
Swiftly: A Novel (GOLLANCZ S.F.)
by Adam Roberts
Edition: Hardcover
Price: £18.99

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant book - apart from all the poo, 5 Jan. 2010
I'm sure you won't believe me, but the main problem with this novel isn't the 'flowery language' or the rather sprawling plot, it's the fact that the main character becomes obsessed with human faeces.

It's a shame that Roberts felt the need to introduce that particular scatalogical strand into the plot, because the concept the novel's based on is quite brilliant, and there's really no need for poo to be involved.

The other problem is that, due to the insertion of the short story the novel's based around, at the beginning it appears that there are two protagonists. There aren't. Eleanor gets a couple of chapters to herself but then becomes a secondary character for the rest of the story. Which is a real shame, as she's much more interesting and sympathetic than the actual protagonist, who is wracked with self-doubt, shame and self-loathing, largely due to being obsessed with do do brown.

This would be a four-star novel if the plot was a bit tighter and there were less plop-plops in it. Just to be clear, I'm not being prudish or anything, it's just that the cover blurb led me to believe I'd be reading a novel about Lilliputians and Brobdignagians, but it's mostly about self-doubt and poo poo.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 25, 2010 9:01 AM BST


New Novelist--Start Writing Your Novel
New Novelist--Start Writing Your Novel
Offered by Unique_Item_Bazaar
Price: £11.87

39 of 39 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Very poor, 27 Nov. 2005
NewNovelist is a good idea, but the software is so riddled with bugs that it becomes unusable. For a start it will often lose the information you've stored in one of its files, so you lose every bit of work you've done.
Aside from the bugs, the idea of actually writing in this is laughable. There are no word-processing capabilities whatsoever. You can't change the font, font-size, use bullet-points, or anything. If you do write something you can't export it. You can only save it and open it in NN. You can't format your work, so you'd never want to submit it to a publisher! You can't even right-click in the text window should you want to copy and paste something!
Given that I paid £30 for it, I feel very ripped off. Don't buy this, just make your notes on paper and write your novel in Word.


Screen Burn
Screen Burn
by Charlie Brooker
Edition: Paperback
Price: £9.99

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Briliant and hilarious., 15 Jun. 2005
This review is from: Screen Burn (Paperback)
This is fantastic. Each page is hilarious. If you don't wet yourself with laughter you must be some sort of emotionless automaton.
Acerbic, acidic, and above all, witty, Brooker consistintely cracks the TV-walnut with his humour-sledgehammer.
Not for Nathans.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 25, 2013 1:24 PM BST


Wireless Access Point Router w/ 4-Port Switch 802.11g
Wireless Access Point Router w/ 4-Port Switch 802.11g

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy peasy, 10 Jun. 2005
This is great. I bought this and the USB receiver. I expected it to take a couple of hours to get everything set up and working (like most hardware).
But it took about 5 minutes. Plugged them both in, turned them and installed the software then rebooted, and that was it. Broadband.
Lovely. And very well priced, too.


Wimbledon [DVD]
Wimbledon [DVD]
Dvd ~ Kirsten Dunst
Offered by UclickWeDeliver
Price: £2.09

4 of 16 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Rubbish, 10 Jun. 2005
This review is from: Wimbledon [DVD] (DVD)
Absolute tosh. This is one of the most boring films I've ever seen. The entire plot happens in the first ten minutes, and then you have to sit through another ninety minutes of dullness.
The sequences where you can hear Paul Bettany's thoughts are just patronising. The characters are unsympathetic and never have any real challenges. The only thing that prevents them being together from the very beginning is Kirsten Dunst's character's decision to behave like a naughty little girl who's decides to do what Daddy says, even though she's a grown woman.
Please don't think "I like Notting Hill, Four Weddings, Green Card, etc, so I'll like this." This is a below average romantic comedy whose plot isn't even as good as any of the many subplots of Love Actually.
I wish I could have those two hours back.


Wimbledon [DVD]
Wimbledon [DVD]
Dvd ~ Kirsten Dunst
Offered by UclickWeDeliver
Price: £2.09

4 of 16 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Doesn't even qualify as a proper story, 23 May 2005
This review is from: Wimbledon [DVD] (DVD)
The plot of this film (without spoiling it) is as follows:
A very good looking, posh, rich, reasonably successful tennis player goes to Wimbledon where he falls in love with a very good looking, posh, rich, very successful tennis player. And she falls in love with him. Then they play tennis.
That's it. The entire plot of the movie is over within the first ten minutes. But the film carries on for another 90 minutes.
To provide some tension, the female tennis player's Dad tries to stop her going out with the male one. But as she doesn't listen, this provides almost no tension at all.
This isn't the worst film I've ever seen, but it's definitely the most boring. No tension, no depth, no excitement. Utterly predictable.


Want More
Want More
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £1.56

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy this or be square (wave), 30 Jun. 2004
This review is from: Want More (Audio CD)
I haven't heard this album yet. But I have heard earlier versions of many of the songs on it, and if it's as good as they were it's fantastic.
Also, the band are very nice young men; they wear cool labcoats and safety specs, and their singer throws some brilliant shapes on stage.
Buy it. Buy it now. Then you can say you were there at the beginning!


Night Sisters
Night Sisters
by John Pritchard
Edition: Paperback

8 of 11 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Fields of the Nephilim Fan-Fiction, 18 Nov. 2003
This review is from: Night Sisters (Paperback)
I have awarded this book 1 star because the review page won't allow me to award it none.
This is, without a doubt, THE worst book I have ever read. It reads more like Fields of the Nephilim and Sisters of Mercy fan-fiction than a novel. Every chapter starts with a quotation from a FOTN or Sisters song, the cover appears to be a very bad painting of the Sisters of Mercy circa 1985, and the villains are clearly based on FOTN. One of the characters is called 'Carol McAuley' which is a painfully obvious reference to Carl McCoy from - you guessed it - Fields of the Nephilim.
This is second-hand, second-generation horror completely lacking in style, suspense, skill or anything remotely good. In fact this book is so bad, I recommend reading it for a laugh.


Page: 1