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Content by Philip G. Brown
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Reviews Written by
Philip G. Brown (Clevedon, England)

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Fallout 4 (PC)
Fallout 4 (PC)
Price: £20.49

5.0 out of 5 stars S.P.E.C.I.A.L., 24 Jan. 2016
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Fallout 4 (PC) (Video Game)
The 1950s conception of this game is worth ten stars, and the accompanying cartoons twenty. Never have I been so amused by a computer game. It’s also huge and exhausting, as looking after all these hopeless settlers, following total atomic annihilation, is the equivalent of a full time job.

It’s terribly clunky, as it uses an overheated version of the game engine that’s been around for eight years. The animations are only adequate, the Bethesda bugs are legion and the skin textures and models are definitely from the last decade.

But all is forgiven as it puts a smile on my face.

Feral ghouls are the creepiest and they laugh when you shoot their legs off. And the super-mutants are the funniest cross between Homer Simpson and Ian Paisley at his most shouty. Raaaage!

And talking about the Simpsons, a Marge impersonator does all the female, nice ghoul voices.

Hurry up with the Creation Kit.
Comment Comment | Permalink

Odysea Pine and Fir Tree Honey (Pack of 2)
Odysea Pine and Fir Tree Honey (Pack of 2)
Price: £11.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Horrible, 24 Jan. 2016
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This used to be a nicely flavoured, good value honey, deserving its 2012 taste award. Now its changed into a vile, sugary mess that any amount of soaking in warm water doesn’t get rid of. All that happens is that most of the sucrose sinks to the bottom of the jar. Not helped that Amazon palmed me off with the same stock they were selling a year ago.

I should have sent it back, but it ended up being thrown down the sink in disgust.

Save your money and sprinkle granulated sugar on your toast.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 10, 2016 9:58 AM BST

Multi-Colored Crystal Christmas Tree Brooch Pin Christmas Gift
Multi-Colored Crystal Christmas Tree Brooch Pin Christmas Gift
Offered by MrStar
Price: £1.21

4.0 out of 5 stars Good, but too long in coming, 16 Jan. 2016
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
For a very modest price this is quite a nice brooch. Unfortunately, I ordered it on the 3rd November, 2015 for a Christmas stocking filler, but didn't receive it until today, the 16th January, 2016 six weeks after the expected delivery date.

Dragon Age Inquisition (PC DVD)
Dragon Age Inquisition (PC DVD)
Offered by Turbotrance
Price: £17.76

5.0 out of 5 stars Down in the Deep Roads, 1 Dec. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Just a word in praise of ‘Descent’ one of the three DLCs that add on to the story. A lot of reviews were terribly snooty about it, but it’s lots of fun, the scenery is great, the battles are hard but doable, and for once searching for collectibles is actually a worthwhile experience, particularly for those like me who find vertiginous cliffs challenging. I’m now an expert in virtual parkour.

Panasonic RP-HJE125E-K Ergo Fit In-Ear Headphone - Black
Panasonic RP-HJE125E-K Ergo Fit In-Ear Headphone - Black
Price: £5.99

4.0 out of 5 stars Good value, 24 Nov. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
These work well for the price. My only caveat is the microscopic L and R printed on each of the phones. I had to tie on a piece of cotton to tell me which was which. A standard, 90 degree, stereo mini-jack is attached.

Clearzal-Bac Nail Solution for Healthy Nails 30ml
Clearzal-Bac Nail Solution for Healthy Nails 30ml
Offered by DirectHealth&Beauty
Price: £20.99

4.0 out of 5 stars Good for me, 24 Nov. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This product works well for me. You have to stick at the applications though. As other people have noted the new fangled applicator top is useless and needs a pin to unblock it. Clearzal, please go back to the old one.

Wired-up BT 10m Telephone Extension Cable Suitable for BT and Other Networks
Wired-up BT 10m Telephone Extension Cable Suitable for BT and Other Networks
Offered by Pakeeza
Price: £0.94

5.0 out of 5 stars Good, 24 Nov. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This is a cheap and cheerful product that does the same job as other cables at a fraction of the price. The wire is long, flat and needs to be unravelled.

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PC DVD)
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PC DVD)
Offered by Ace Goods Co. Ltd
Price: £32.89

2 of 13 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Life's too short..., 13 Oct. 2015
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I had high hopes for this game, but as time has dragged on the number of stars has been slowly getting less and less. It’s not the bugged quests, or the patches, which take four and a half hours to download. It’s not the none explanation of which button does what after the game is patched. It’s not even the so called modding tools which are at best primitive command line instructions requiring line upon line of code.

It is the sheer imbalance of the game. There I was on level four having finished in the first area, and I’m being told the next quest is suggested level five. I’m seven tenths of the way to level five so I have to kill 300 wild dogs or 150 drowners to make it to that level. Fortunately I got an unexpected 25 points for untying a man. About the same amount that you get for slogging through quests where the enemies have double the number of your levels.

The real finisher though was when I got to level five and started on the main quest and was expected to confront three level 27 enemies in quick succession without any decent equipment ~ and one of these enemies had three lives, for God’s sake. No wonder the downloads for cheats are astronomical.

The reason this game is so revered is because it’s a fanboys wet dream. The central character is irresistible to women (even though he’s old, scarred and ugly) all of whom get their kit off for him at the drop of a hat.

If I wanted to play someone who’s old, scarred and ugly, I can look in the mirror, thank you.

Anyway, if you want a game that’s less buggy, more adult and doesn’t appeal to the fanboys, try Dragon Age Inquisition, because life’s too short otherwise.

(Edit) I’ve found the most marvellous console command code. It’s called killall(). And that’s just what it does: kills all your enemies nearby. If you put in killall(100), it’ll kill every enemy in sight. This is brilliant and definitely puts the game back up to three and a half stars, because the story itself isn’t half bad.

Another good thing about this command is that’ll it’ll make all the unctuous fanboys scream with horror. This is because a fanboy will spend thirty hours planning on how to kill something that’s ten times more powerful than they are, because in reality they’ve got nothing else to do.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 25, 2016 4:35 PM BST

The Disciple (2013) ( Lärjungen )
The Disciple (2013) ( Lärjungen )
Dvd ~ Erik Lönngren
Offered by Mr.Molotov
Price: £22.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars How did the dog get pregnant?, 5 Oct. 2015
A handsomely mounted film from Finland about an orphan boy who gets a job as apprentice lighthouse keeper with a family on a remote island. The acting is terrific and the two boys, the orphan and the son of the lighthouse keeper are lovely.

So why only three stars?

Because the film is supposed to be a psychological thriller but I would call it a psychologically inconsistent non-thriller.

The story revolves around the intelligent and academically orientated orphan and the less cerebral and downtrodden son, both of whom suffer in different ways at the hands of the bitter and twisted father, the lighthouse keeper. Unfortunately, at the plot’s centre is the rather hackneyed theme of the dead elder son and there are no points for guessing the truth behind his death.

To illustrate the inconsistency and dissatisfaction with the story, I will take one example, and of course I’m having to rely on the veracity of the subtitles for this. The orphan can’t swim and so the son gives him a swimming lesson at which he seems to be doing all right. They end up in a sea cave where the son says he comes to get away from his father. The orphan replies that he can’t stand being in confined spaces and leaves, and one would assume he’s had to swim back to the landing stage. Nothing is made of this confined spaces business, but the fact that the orphan can’t swim becomes a major point in the story, even though he’s apparently having lessons.

The film is full of these odd incongruities which piled on top of one another become annoying after a time.

The film is 88 minutes long in Finnish with English subtitles. The photography is excellent with some minimal CGI. The sea is remarkably placid and the weather clement. No storms to point up the psychology of the characters.

The only storm for me is the current price of £23 plus postage. Please!
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 26, 2015 10:35 PM GMT

The Last Ship [Blu-ray] [2015] [Region Free]
The Last Ship [Blu-ray] [2015] [Region Free]
Dvd ~ Eric Dane
Price: £14.99

3 of 8 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Hokum, 22 Sept. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
OK fellas, here it is. ‘On the Beach’ for rednecks.

Sounds great, boss, but how?

Simple, make it as if John Ford was directing not that commie Stanley Kramer. And instead of a sub we’ll make it a ship so it looks great in HD. And just to show how we know what we’re doing, we’ll mention John Wayne.

But this is the 21st century, boss...

Of course it is, and so, as well as all the old stock John Ford characters, we’ll add some sassy girls as crew members and instead of John Carradine playing the scientist we’ll get some actress. As long as she can talk scientific, wear a vest, pout and flounce around the decks it don’t matter. The icing on the cake is that one of the sassy girls will mention in the first episode that she had a girlfriend. That’ll get the redneck juices running with the thought of some lezzie sex. Of course, it’ll never be mentioned again just in case the evangelicals pick up on it.

What about villains, surely we can’t have Indians or Germans any more?

I’ve thought real deep about this, boys, and I’ve come up with some great ideas! How about Al-Qaeda, Spanish drug lords and the Ruskies, old style commie Ruskies of course. A host of cardboard, evil characters and loads of canon fodder for a good ol’ fashioned killin’.

Dang it all boss, if you ain’t the best Hollywood producer there is!

Let’s get to it boys. And we’ll call it ‘The Last Ship’ - three one syllable words that even the rednecks will understand...

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