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J. Clarke "Alright Sally" (England)

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Disarm The Descent
Disarm The Descent
Price: £9.99

4.0 out of 5 stars An Old Awakening, 28 April 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Disarm The Descent (Audio CD)
Nearly 10 years ago, Massachusetts' finest metal-core band, Killswitch Engage departed with vocalist Jesse Leach (due to personal reasons that still remain sketchy), replaced him with Howard Jones and found mainstream success with three albums spanning 9 years. The End of Heartache was an instant hit with fans and newcomers, Daylight Dies a technical, riff frenzy, full of classics, but 2009's second self titled release was a complete let down to many. The whole band had become stale, thanks to dreary lovelorn lyrics wearing increasingly thin, sitting atop downbeat melodies and song structures. It goes without saying that KsE owe Howard Jones a great deal for their current standing in rock culture, however, will the return of Jesse Leach, the man who laid the foundations with the bands most influential album to date (Alive or Just Breathing) save a seemingly sinking ship?

Dual brutal screams introduce 'Disarm the Discent' and its wonderfully clear that the band have a new lease of life, heavier and better than before. Leach decides to show his versatility - after the screams - debuting a jazzy, rich vocal he found with past side project 'Seemless'. Such sweet singing is snatched away with a real tongue out scream from the belly. "Protect me, from the hell that burns inside me. No one can see, this is the hell in me" provides a brilliant chorus thanks to long held epic guitar notes and some double bass drum picking up momentum. Cue a very short interlude that erupts back into the same line. Track 1 down and the second is equally intense. "Step back to see the vision - seduction of our minds." I can't help but reference every single lyric enough to emphasize how happy I am at this mans reunion with a long loved band. "Her dark embrace will suffocate - choking my senses! There is a fire within her eyes - blinding my senses! Now I am searching - Forwards beyond the flames". The guitars from Adam Dutkiewicz and Joel Stroetzel jump all over the shop in spectacular precise fashion.

3rd on the playlist and 3rd to be revealed is 'The New Awakening' a snarling shouty beast of a song. Super fast guitar mashing and piston like percussion give this one so much bite it stings the ears. The main message of the song being one of clarity and change with lines like "I'd would rather burn out, than fade away!" and "There is more to life than this! - We are more than just this flesh! - We are alive and our time has come, for a new awakening". Then something astonishing happens. Possibly the bands first ever chant - one that will no doubt encourage all to sing back "I-Will-Not-Live-In-Fear" as a medeval like melody gets pushed past by a cavalry charge guitar solo. Already a fan favourite. The first single to be officially released - 'In Due Time' - is a fitting tribute to the return of the reenergised frontman. "How much more can I give of myself - as these walls, close in on me?" An ode to past troubles and a delightful chorus building up the future - "All in due time. See the world through different eyes". Another top notch solo is becoming a welcome standard now.

'A Tribute to the Fallen' seems in hommage for Howard Jones.. "You cannot break this love with hate" - dispels that possibility. Its at this time one makes comparisons with Adam.D and Jesse's last outing in side project 'Times of Grace' as the two team up for a sound more suiting to 'Hymn of a Broken Man'. A long, drawn out exit sounds like a church organ dirge, appropriate for the title. 'Turning Point' is full of anger from the first note, as the ever persistant drumming creates an almighty rhythm. "Find the strength to maintain - give me a reason to believe. Search for truth that will not change" is yet more proof that Leach's lyrics are more genuine and meaningful than Jones', tenfold. It's by this time however, the melodies start to die down a bit for raw power metal and speed. 'All We Have' seems in the same vain as 'Life to Lifeless' with little in the way of positivity, only far more speedy. "Forgiveness is all we have, nothing else will give you a piece of mind" is easily the best of this one, floating over a frantic sweeping guitar.

'You Don't Bleed For Me' sounds similar to Leach's second side project 'The Empire Shall Fall's 'These Colours Bleed'. It's only a title that these share though as this albums is less busy pushy a catchy riff and instead hellbent of sending that powerful message. It's not known who or what Leach is referring to here but "It's clear to me know, you're not what you claim, you don't speak for me. There is no mistake, it's written on your face, you don't bleed for me" - could be about anything from politics to past relationships. 'The Call' doesn't throw its punches with a rhythm that won't be stopped. "Release your inhibitions and answer to the call" is the sirens call in a mess of technical accuracy perceived as utter randomness. "Leave behind this shell of flesh and bone, in the end we will answer to the call."

"The burning question remains, how much is too much to give? Do your wings have the strength to carry on? When we see redemption how long will we wait for deliverance? It takes everything to keep from falling now. Let go." If there's one thing that can introduce someone to KsE, it's the lyrics, proof that heavy metal is not just a bunch of screaming with no substance. 'No End In Sight' - the first song to be revealed (Leaked) was a pleasant reminder of what this band is capable of at full strength. It's a pulsing, righteous rant "Through the suffering we fight/Until we see the light - there's no end in sight". The sound is pure evil as are the harmonised growls. 'Always' looks and sounds like a song off of the 2009 album - slow, predictable, mourning, depression wrapped into an unsatisfying song. Truth be told, the album did need a break from the intensity and that is what 'Always' does. Also not out of place on a ToG album, it slowly trudges through verses and chorus', until Adam.D throws some sweet vocals into the ring with "I am with you always, from the darkness of night/from life until death takes me..." over a light, chugging, clean guitar... nice change.

All that peace is washed away in a second of the blistering pace of 'Time Will Not Remain'. Being the band that they are, they couldn't possibly end with a shmoltzy loved up track... at least, not anymore. "These are the days, our lives will change and time will not remain" is wondrous songwriting on a grand scale thanks to all musicians doing their part albeit for only 3 minutes. Its a good way to go out with bang, fast and hard. Proper sexual. In total honesty, this album took time to grow on me, perhaps due to unrealistic expectations, as if one man could make another AOJB version 2, which just isn't on the cards, nor should be. However, when compared to the bands last album, this is a new lease of life... or old... whatever, It's good.

TRIXES Black Micro 2 Port USB 2.1A Car Charger Splitter Adapter for iPod iPhone iPad Mobile SatNav
TRIXES Black Micro 2 Port USB 2.1A Car Charger Splitter Adapter for iPod iPhone iPad Mobile SatNav
Offered by Digiflex
Price: £4.00

1.0 out of 5 stars Dead Cheap, Dead Tech, 25 April 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I Bought one of these for my Citroen C2, believing it to be a fairly handy little device - and one of little expense (£3?!)

However, when attempting to charge my iPod Classic via this and the cigarette lighter slot in the car.... Nothing. No reaction from the adapter, iPod or car. No lights, no connection. I tested both slots, with both iPod & iPhone - along with cheaper versions of both (a small mp3 player and an old Nokia phone). It was also ineffective when plugged in with my sat nav, supposedly being helpful in that it can be used as a splitter - poppycock as neither worked.

Either my car is somehow incompatible with this, or I got sold a crummy piece of rubbish.

You might get a gooden, clearly from all the positive reviews, it does work for some and for a small price it could be worth the gambit but.. still, it looks/feels/is pretty crummy technology.

If you've got a decent car stereo, it'll likely have a USB port, so why bother?

My Shame Is True
My Shame Is True
Price: £12.99

13 of 19 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fresh & Fun, Predictable 3 Chord Honesty, 1 April 2013
This review is from: My Shame Is True (Audio CD)
"I wanna be a Warhol, displayed on your wall. Hung up there staring back at you..."

Classic Matt Skiba... His artsy lyrics are a much anticipated (amongst cultist fans) teaser for the follow up to 2010's 'This Addiction'. Not exactly a '3 years in the making' job, Skiba went off on a possible ego-trip/meltdown in the self-titled 'Matt Skiba and the Sekrets' - a group revolving around him (and his dodgey outfit designed by Limp Bizkit's equally whacky guitarist, Wes Borland). Forgetting the words to his own songs, being off key and generally looking nervous as hell, rumors of his live shows spread and the album 'Babylon' was generally the same spiel but without the solid percussion, bass and song writing of his Alkaline Trio bandmates. Dan Andriano's solo release 'Hurricane Season' however, was much more accomplished record that displayed not only the type of lyrics all know he is capable of, but the variety on show was first class. So will Skiba's previous effort taint the album, or will all be put aside and provide a well needed pick-me-up?

The first track already sounds familiar with a name like 'She Lied to the FBI' and after the few seconds of intro you can tell its a joyous return with its undeniably catchy hook. Skiba sounds care-free in his vocals which is a fair change of pace as his past songs have featured notes he simply can't hit live (although its not all that watered down as it is strewn with a few swears). The use of 2 guitars is a much needed boost to the bands sound also, providing a smooth punk combo, not that it means another band member is debuting (Alkaline Quartet doesn't sound right). The first single from the album is a souring, simple alternative rock anthem right away. The chorus instantly memorable, singing-along encouraged, the band keep pushing that same formula of 3 chord power chords. The song has flavours of many of the bands past songs but remains a good'n none the less with an official music video starring Milla Jovovich... Worth a look if you want a taste of a frankly, past it band.

Track 3 'I'm Only Here to Disappoint' is the first offering from bassist/vocalist Andriano. Introduction loud and downbeat, the guitar goes back and fourth through many a scale while 'Danny-boy' cries out "These simple things I just can't say, remove the you from you and me, I stand and bring you to your knees, again and again and again!" - its a throwback to the mans darker side that closes with a decent guitar thrashing riff. 'Kiss You to Death' on the other hand is a smitten Skiba lullaby, with mediocre love poetry like "..and I don't care if we f**k or we talk or we cry, I just miss you, i wanna kiss you to death tonight - wo-ho-ho". The words are one thing but the wailing moans are just plain puppy-like melancholy honesty. It picks up the pace towards the end with a list of things his sultry temptress is 'in' blood and bones and whatnot but the next track offers much more. 'The Temptation of St. Anthony' may be a Bosch painting of an old man meditating but 'this' is a rock and roll/punk storm. "Not a word you can say, can erase memories of that night" sits atop a palm muted verse that second time round gets a bit more flair amongst some subtly brilliant bass. On first listen, you recall the song by its funky bass interlude and Skiba cries of "..much like this world has never known... known!"

Second song from Andriano features Rise Against vocalist/guitarist Tim McIlrath, perform a duet in a brief bit of rock that passes all too quickly. At just over 2 minutes long, the duel shouts of "Disappear, disappear, I'm not here with my mind!" are only a fond memory when Dan showcases a contender for best song on the album. 'Only Love' sees the Elvis Costello-esque co-frontman belt out a real beauty. It wouldn't be out of place on his solo record, but in stark contrast to his 2 previous songs, its an upbeat sound (after the poignent introduction) with a bit of hammond organ that tips the cap to the past eras. "How young are you gunna be when you die?" asks Andriano, followed by the inevitable "All I know is time is undefeated so far". The chorus could not fail to raise a smile, rest assured. Definitely feel good songwriting at its core. Finally, Skiba steps up his game with 'The Torture Doctor' - albeit still pushing the "Hey-Ho"s. It sounds straight off of 2003's 'Good Mourning' in most aspects from the integration of guitar and organ to the dark lyrics of "There's a devil dancing in my head, as I'm hovering above your bed". Its similar to the songs lead single but in my eyes, a step ahead thanks to the well held notes of "There's nothing left to hide, down here on the south side!"

'Midnight Blue' sounds far too much like something from 'Babylon' except with a winding lead guitar carving a sharp path after each verse/chorus. One of the weaker tracks. All is forgiven when he busts out 'One Last Dance' however as its by this time a veteran of Alkaline Trio may come to the startling conclusion of how brutally honest the album is. We hear a humble Skiba declare "There just aint words to say how sorry I am.. For acting like a schoolboy trapped in a man. There's nothing I wont do for one last chance, may I have this dance?". It's also, for me anyways, the time you recognize the percussion! Derek Grant seems to have quietened down a smidgen, or perhaps its just he does what's expected of him on every occasion, that nothing more need be said.. The final song of Andriano 'Young Lover' is in-keeping with the track before.. a bit of negativity painted with a smile. "Young Lover, lets waste no time. You're too concerned with Heaven and I see it in your eyes. Young Lover, right now you're mine. Don't think of your tomorrow's, lets live like we could die tonight" - one of the many lines that make the Trio so special.

To end, is a traditional acoustic start to 'Until Death Do Us Part' that sounds like every other Matt Skiba song you may have heard. Predictable notes as usual, but the odd ringing electric and effect laden solo make it much more bearable. Some fans have said its the albums 'Radio' and that no doubt is what they were going for but lets not be silly. The 8:4 split of songs for the vocalists is rather shameful as its been common knowledge for a while now that Andriano never disappoints (despite the track-list) however, no one knows whether thats because Skiba is at the helm or Andriano is just keeping it sweet. Despite having several bandaged up Frankenstein's monsters of songs, there is still a fantastic selection that will please the majority of fans, but as usual, nothing note-worthy enough to bag a worthwhile amount listeners or the attention they deserve... Milla Jovovich in stockings & suspenders included...

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Xbox 360)
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Xbox 360)
Offered by Gameseek
Price: £20.01

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Get Skyrimmed, 7 Mar. 2013
= Fun:4.0 out of 5 stars 
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
In the Beginning
As a big fan of The Elder Scrolls series, I was looking forward to Skyrim with much anticipation. Having severely scoured the island of Vvardenfell in the Dark Elf province of Morrowind as well as Oblivion's Imperial land of Cyrodiil (albeit to a lesser extent), the ancient home of the Nords was very much next in line. Coming across various trailers set in a snowy mountainous landscape with intense music and best of all, a gigantic dragon about to do battle, I had a good idea of what I was getting into. What I didn't know however was that Skyrim (Standard Edition) was priced at £55 on my pre-order receipt with GAME. Now I've been buying video games for over a decade and never seen such scrupulous money grabbing before, so it wasn't surprising news to see GAME go into administration 3 months later. I don't know whether this was just a cruelly shrewd business move by the distributors or a RRP price set by Bethesda, but regardless of Skyrim's content, it wasn't worth more than any other brand new game (I believe even £40 is steep for what most games offer). After I proceeded to tear up my non-obligatory inflated order and found it online for a default price of just under £40, I tore straight into the game, playing a good few hours, training up for an epic adventure across a giant winterland.

"Dovahkiin, By his honor is sworn to keep evil forever at bay" (Story)
As usual, the Elder Scrolls game sets out with a fairly swift introduction - the scene of your execution - while you realize your true potential culminating in the absorption of a dragon's soul and becoming Dovahkiin, AKA Dragonborn. Yeah, pretty intense stuff eh? Anyway, you get to grips with your powers granted to thee by being 'the one' and carve a path through the land, learning the teachings from the fabled 'Greybeards' and leaving dozens of fallen dragon corpses in your wake as you hunt down the biggest and baddest of them all - Alduin. This monster has been resurrecting his fallen brothers to scour the world, in an attempt to destroy it completely. It's your job to find him and end him... Of course, there are several other story-lines to follow such as the thieves guild, the dark brotherhood and the companions - each could be likened to the length of another games campaign. Now with various DLC available, you can expand your world even farther and take on whole new journeys, not that you'd ever get everything done...

FUS RO DAH!!! (Gameplay)
Where the combat in Oblivion felt chinsy and Morrowind diabolically terrible, Skyrim goes leaps and bounds onto better things. Duel wielding spells, swords and shields or your pathetic enchanted wood elf bow - you can fight the way you want to, although someways are evidently better than others when taking on a mammoth, giant or almighty dragon. One would think it impossible to not sound nerdy after that but since finishing blows have been added to the roster, combat gets a new lick of paint and feels more modern and stylish. The conversations are held at a realistic distance compared to Oblivions' "Let's zoom in on a terrifying face, highlighting some poor graphics and generally being a nuisance" thing. The menus however are out of place and reek too much of previous Bethesda title Fallout. The 'Shouts' are a welcome addition to get you into the games storyline but also as unique spells that could not be utilised in older games. However, the lack of enchant abilities, compared to Morrowind is sad, but expected because this game is absolutely riddled with bugs - both insect and glitch. It's difficult to recall all the great little bits and bobs of what the game offers, so here's a quick shopping list of newish inclusions:

Smithing & Enchanting- Craft armor & weapons from specific materials and enchant them.
Lockpicking & Pickpocketing - the tumblers from IV have been hidden and so have your hands... into that Imperial scum's heavy pocket.
Alchemy - pluck wild flowers and combine them with the eye of a sabre cat tooth.

"I don't have anything to say to you... SO GET OUT OF MY FACE." (Surroundings)
Not many games can come close to TES series environments and Skyrim still raises the flag higher with stunning backdrops and a vast wilderness almost limitless and always ready to explore. One downside would be that like the 2 games before it, the various tombs and dungeons all have a similar appearance and thus, get repetitive. The fact that the game is set in the northern winter land of Skyrim is a fresh choice for the series as volcanic desolation and generic woodland have grown tiresome. The people of Skyrim are quite diverse, but tend to offer little other than the odd humorous remark - soon to be common phrase amongst every single character... Basically, the number of hours required to get your money's worth means you're going to hear the same dreadful one liners over and over, from blacksmiths to jarls. You're much better off traversing the wild, edging your way closer up the intimidating mountain, plundering a glacial tomb or facing mighty foes across a permafrost spekled tundra. The soundtrack is also worth mentioning because not only is it as hardy and powerful as the natives but avid gamers with recognize older themes arise in certain situations.

In the End...
A massive achievement in gaming, considering how far it has come but most especially, the fact that a single-player only game, has managed to scoop so many industry awards and please a thousand critics and millions of gamers over such a short time. With an Online game in the pipeline, it would seem that this could be the last of the great RPG's as companies try to pursue the majority, getting their hands on monthly payments. It's possible a 6th installment could see the light, but if this game's scale is any indication of waiting for an improvement? We may be waiting a very, very long time.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 2, 2013 7:02 PM BST

Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Offered by multimedia-online
Price: £24.94

3.0 out of 5 stars Blurring the lines of video gaming and playing with yourself, 6 Mar. 2013
= Fun:3.0 out of 5 stars 
D.O.A Xtreme Beach VolleyBall is a spin off from the Dead Or Alive video game series where players assume the control of a fairly large roster of characters and take part in various forms or 1 on 1 combat (as well as tag team) offering a different fighting game as it was less about button bashing and more about counters. Even then, the ladies of D.O.A had their jubblies shaking about all over the shop thanks to an overzealous rag-doll physics engine.. but this game offers gamers the chance to dress up said jubbly and even pan out and zoom in on it like some kind of amateur virtual pervert. Of course, you don't _have_ to spend all day staring at a virtual lady, lounging on a sun-bed or straddling a palm tree, but considering some of the games other options, you might be better off... If girls can look past the bouncing breasts they may find a cute and addictive game with stylish outfits and gambling, If guys can look past the bouncing breasts, they'd trade this in.

After a pretty random introductory FMV about a man and his jetpack, as well as a showcase for the entirely female roster - BADA BUUM BADA BUUM the song is pretty catchy - you select your girl, get a tour around the island and do the same thing pretty much every day. The 'objective' if ever there was one (which seems unlikely as there is no main accomplishment or goals to achieve) is to find a suitable Volleyball partner (its always 2 on 2) and make friends with them by showering then with shiny trinkets, toys and tiaras. It's not all as fake as Barbie though because each character has their own preferences which revolve around colour and general interest - for example, one may be a typical girly girl wanting everything in pink with ribbons and teddybears (Kasumi) whilst another may prefer something in matte gun metal black... like a gun (Christie). The actual game of volleyball is extreme in one way only - in its simplicity. 2 buttons on and off the ball - pass & smash, dig & spike. Serving can be a bit of a gambit as you can hit the net should you go for a gooden but other than that, its mostly about watching breasts sway mercilessly around as teammates launch into the sand. Multiplayer is offered but properly weird because I struggle to imagine 2 straight blokes seriously playing this game single player let alone together.

A tropical island with a casino bang in the middle of it and a volcano - need I say more? During the day you lavish gifts on anyone you chose, playing ball, minigames in the pool, relax and go shopping. By night you can hit the casino or hit the sack.. the bed I mean.. there's no Y chromos here. Choose from blackjack, roulette, slots, poker etc in the end though, you only need money to spend on gifts to keep teammates on board, that and an eye for what they find appealing. You can play volleyball in the jungle, on the beach during the day or at sunset.. not that you'd notice much. What makes this game sort of work, is that the graphics are really top notch for an Xbox game from 2003, otherwise it just would not work for obvious trouser snake reasons.

This one I found to be 50-50, which is a pleasant surprise in itself as you'd expect a japanese game about volleyball to be less than well versed in any musical genre.. So it was nice to see Bob Marley's track 'Is This Love' as well as the odd ska punk song such as Real Big Fish's 'I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend too' & 'The kids don't like it'. However it's not all legends and obscure bands - B*witched may not be out of place, but that doesn't mean they can write a good song. Any young man playing this game may come to a startling conclusion upon hearing 'Jessie Hold On' (as well as realising you can only spend your money on swimsuits, accessories and general chick stuff) - that makes one wonder, maybe this game really _is_ for girls? Oh, and there's Spice Girls, Christina Aguilera and a reggae cover of Minnie Ripperton's 'Lovin You'... the high F must be sold separately...

In the end, it is what it is, a group of girls dawdling about on a beach in their underwear.

Never before has the product rating 'Satisfactory' been more relevant.

Dead Space (Xbox 360)
Dead Space (Xbox 360)
Offered by Game Trade Online
Price: £13.97

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star..., 5 Mar. 2013
= Fun:4.0 out of 5 stars 
This review is from: Dead Space (Xbox 360) (Video Game)
"...How I wonder what you are..." (Intro)
Despite being late to the party, using a nursery rythme has never been used so effectively to create an atmosphere of complete and utter dread. Dead Space's introductory trailer plays this incredibly eerie tune (a lone female vocal echoing amongst a low string section) whilst panning out across the games location - a desolate spaceship floating in the orbit of a crumbling mining planet. All scenes of genuine gameplay, gradually interrupted by brain splicing, glimpses of what is to come - your grisly demise. Undoubtably one of the best intro/trailers I've witnessed for a game, up there with the likes of Dead Island and Bioshock.. sharing more similarities with the latter than first imagined.. Now I ventured into the Dead Space series way past it's prime - nearly 5 years to be precise, so it's 2nd offering was still for the taking and a 3rd on its way - this time featuring co-op - a/the reason a friend turned me onto the game in the first place.

"Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..." (Story)
Like the majority of Horror titles, Dead Space has a rather mediocre plot that's stretched out through 12 chapters (in my experience lasting around 30-45 minutes each). For once, the use of levels rather than open world-like saving system is used effectively and gamers can feel at ease in where to put down the controller and take a rest. The problem is not necessarily the storyline though, rather the way it is dragged out, drip-fed amongst a deluge of tech-jargon explanation and medial engineering tasks. You take control of Isaac Clarke (aptly, an engineer) who trudges through the various sections of the ghostly ship - the Ishimura - which has sent out a distress signal - believed to be the reason you are investigating. However, when you and your crew encounter monstrous creatures dubbed 'Necromorphs' right from the word go, the search & rescue mission becomes a fight for survival, unravelling the mystery behind the Ishimura's crew and their fate. Isaac (you) gets ordered around by some lady and your commanding officer, each getting severely effected by your surroundings, each slowly losing it...

"When the blazing sun is gone, when the nothing shines upon, then you show your little light, twinkle, twinkle, all the night..." (Gameplay)
Small tutorial like hints appear throughout the first chapter, without taking away from the chilling situation you and your character are now in. It's basic - d-pad for a weapon reel, triggers for primary and secondary fire, bumper sprint, melee and sci-fi abilities such as 'Stasis' which freezes/slows down objects and enemies, and kinesis to move the various objects in your path. Controlling Isaac is a cinch, although he is sluggish, with his physical attacks flailing and failing often, his pace pathetic and turning circle devoid of a quick spin. Its possible that this was intended though as it makes escaping a far more unrewarding, last ditch, often foolish move as the monsters will likely hunt you down and end you. These creatures are wonderfully created - clearly based on humanoid appearance but with giant scythe like arms, missing lower jaws and an attitude that revolves around forcing spikes inside you and/or decapitating you. Unfortunately there are only a few variants of 'alien' but that said, each one offeres something different, be it a more tactical approach or change in weapon. Should you get caught in the grasp of an enemy, a good old button bash is required, otherwise, aim for the limbs and you're golden. Even on normal difficulty, the enemies appear a bit slow (not to say that aren't daunting) and unsurprising at times as a horrid orchestral que, gives their presence away, almost every single time - lack of surprise or classy creature theme, its a tough one to call on whether it's beneficial to the game or not.

"Then the traveller in the dark, thanks you for your tiny spark. He could not see which way to go, if you did not twinkle so..." (Environment)
Ridley Scott's 'Alien' is the first thing that comes to mind for the location of the game - not the sparkling clean white rooms of cryo-stasis, but the acid dripping lower hulls beneath where the baddy lurks. Menacing hallways with steaming vents and malfunctioning doors all possible of veiling a threat. While the darkness and faulty lights often make for an unappealing prospect, the game doesn't always utilize them when possible, meaning they missed out on the chance of terrifying the gamer on numerous occasions. The chores you must accomplish throughout these levels is often as droll as plugging in a battery, riding an elevator to press a switch or use your kinesis to connect the dots. It's not that the jobs are so tedious, after all, most of the time you get ambushed by blood thirsty beasts, ready to dismember you.. its the way the crew or your 'superiors' go about it - they bang on about how the elevators lost power to the command deck where the switch to the turbo fuel deposit for the emergency escape pods re-route the engine couplings is located - then tell you to get on your bike and fix it like a good little boy. Jumping through zero G zones is a bit of a laugh at times though... as is playing basketball and visiting the shooting range. Which reminds me, the weapons are a real treat too - mines, spinning blades, machine guns and of course the classic throwback - the flamethrower.

"Though I know not what you are, twinkle, twinkle, little star..." (Conclusion)
So plowing through hordes of diabolical mutations, you can pick up a few scares, upgrade your weapons and armour (which is likened to the salvation of the ammo jukeboxes in Bioshock) and generally scour through a decent horror game. A worthy rental for certain, perhaps a better replacement for the crummy blockbuster you've seen a hundred times over with a different title. It is certainly a grim title for gamers, a solid 18 and rightly so but definitely worth a play if you're into the genre and in my limited opinion of the 2nd and 3rd games, I'd go out on a limb and say this is the finest.

Price: £14.32

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Sun Penguin, 4 Mar. 2013
This review is from: Insofar (Audio CD)
Searching for appropriate background music to work alongside promotional company films, I stumbled across an instrumentalist band in 'Penguin Cafe Orchestra' - of which 2 members teamed up to form the likes of Sundog. Even those unfamiliar with the name will have most likely heard a brief melody from an advertisement or stirring concerto during the closing scenes of a film -'Perpetuum Mobile' being one of their most well known pieces. A brief liaison with SoundCloud proved beneficial as a handful of songs were showcased - '4LB' striking the right chords initially with its chinking piano clicks and clacks building a dramatic violin melody that soars through the song, dipping in a hopeful melancholy sway. 'Light on Stone' offered an equally enthralling but lighter, more piano tinkling focus whereas 'For you when it rains' sealed the deal enough to convince me to purchase the digital download - which' title sums up the sound perfectly as you imagine a steamed up window with raindrops cascading down beyond - this one being solely a piano piece.

Much to my surprise 'Boso I' differed greatly from the previous tracks, despite its continued theme of piano, however this time the violin would be plucked and the keys much more pronounced and heavy with chords etching out a chorus. Although a tad more frantic than the first songs, its follow up track 'Boso II' goes one further to alter the feel of the album, this time with an electrical, groggy feedback ridden remix of the track beforehand. Personally, I prefer no.2 as it seems more progressive and build up instead of organised eccentricity. As to why both were included on the album? Perhaps the artists could not part with either, but don't be duped into thinking you're getting less songs - at this point there is still 9 left to go...

'The Heart Waits' is rather incomprehensible upon first hearing. A downbeat piano and backtracking violin entwine together, desperately trying to find a stable rhythm, ending up with a mixture of melody that wouldn't be out of place in a victorian england backdrop or in that rubbish film 'The Village'. At 2:52 however, the song finally picks up some delightful meaning only to fall short compared to the rest of the album. 'Shadows in Water' picks up some much needed pace but slows down with chunky string strokes and a repetitive melody, its at this point the album starts getting old, only shining when short sequences break out from the already established sound. 'Parise (Song for Wayland)' takes a good 2 and a half minutes to conjure up any audible sound, and when it does, its hardly worth the wait because its an equally messy structureless heap as some of the tracks before it, not to mention the longest at six and a half minutes.

Its worth noting that the average length of each song is around the 5 minute mark - so listening to 'Insofar' in one sitting may prove daunting - especially if you intend on giving it your full attention, something I would discourage as it works wonders as background music or the odd inspirational pick me up. 'Machell' sees the violinist become the repetitive musician for once but as the song is a short one, the sound dies before becoming stale, something a couple of the songs here are guilty of. 'Je Crois...' finally breaks out of the recurring themes with a dripping riff that fades into a crawling piano concerto. Around 3 minutes though, the song has become a chaotic calamity of contrasting sounds and intent - not necessarily a bad thing but hardly the most pleasant thing to listen to. 'Things fall apart...' again has an interesting introduction, however a strange bass-like melody and click clacks of something or other take away any expectation as it is yet another track that can pass you by - whether you try to ignore it or just get bored and skip it.

Continuing with the odd full stoppages, 'A Simple Loss...' is another piano only track that's a bit bouncy but offers little else than the odd glimpse of madness that was present in many a Penguin Cafe Orchestra song. Its 'tinkly'. Second to last track 'Percy' raised my spirits though, thanks to a far more defined structure and pronounced melody. The pianos notes are struck with venom and the violin strings glossed over sporadically. Needless to say I used this in my latest company film. Unlike the majority of the songs on the album, this one features a definitive outro theme thanks to spiralling strings and intense playing. To cap off a fine attempt at a first album (albeit under a new name) 'Both Hands in Pockets...' seems to be the most poignent. A lonesome piano that echoes away, played disjointed and gradual, as if never to be played again. The odd heavy chord is thrown in over a wandering melody that at times, despite being one of the most quiet and haunting of the songs, is hard to grasp whether or not its a mournful goodbye or upbeat see you soon. Such is the sound of a wonderful closing track.. and what sounds like a rough accent of a content man muttering something inaudible that I at first thought was "How 'bout that Tony?" but could well be "That, roll that take." who knows...

Although a mixed bag that promises a lot in the beginning, falters midway and picks up where it left off, 'Insofar' is worth the listen, as providing the songs to several other listeners has revealed odd results, many people seems to find a variety of favourites and differing opinions as to which songs work and other fail. Even without any vocals or distinguished structure, It's safe to say that there is something for everybody... as long as they have an open mind that is...

Resident Evil 6 (Xbox 360)
Resident Evil 6 (Xbox 360)
Offered by 101Trading
Price: £2.79

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Resident Evil...... SUX, 5 Nov. 2012
= Fun:3.0 out of 5 stars 
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
2009's Resident Evil 5's premise was first seen as questionable - swapping the dark and murky streets of Raccoon city, the grim n' grey surroundings of 4, - in favour of the scorching terrain of africa. Despite the lack of horror and thrills, its action was unrivalled and was a blockbuster title - punching boulders into volcanos and all. Yet no.6 tries to go one further... or 3 further, as this time there are initially 3 campaigns to scour through, each one consisting of 5 chapters that are far longer than the average level time of 5's. The 3 campaigns also have intertwining stories to tie up loose ends and offer up different situations that probably could have been crammed into one anyway. Despite the many changes, 6 is unlikely to appease the fans of the series, be it from day one with 3 playstation releases, spin offs or the latest offerings. Although... if you're morose enough to hold the resident evil film franchise in high regard, you'll likely have your little mind blown away...

To start, you get to limp through a fairly eventful tutorial - based at the end of the story. This 5 minute tidbit is enough to prepare you for what's in store in jerky controls, scarce ammo and at times, inappropriate button bashing. The likes of 4 & 5 managed to pull this off well, keeping players focused during cutscenes and desperately mashing controllers to take down big bad bosses and even speed up the fights. 6 however, would rather you frantically search for a set of car keys, hopelessly put them in the ignition slot and start the engine with jittery hands as if cutting the correct wire on an explosive device. Fair enough, that was the most pointless and annoying moments of this button sequence thing but there are some satisfactory button sequences. Combat may seem a step in the right direction as now you can move whilst shooting, strafing about all over the place, firing on your back or front for unnecessary bad-assery. The games cover system though is, put simply, broken. You'll find yourself unwillingly snuggled up to a wall or pillar thats still in plain sight of enemies fire away as you frantically try to figure out 1. how to free yourself from said wall an 2. how you took 'cover' in the first place. Of course, when it comes to weaponry... '''forgeddabowdit!'''

Resident Evil's haven't exactly been groundbreaking when it comes to storyline, evil company makes virus, virus breaks out, zombies ensue (Capcom can add as many backlog extras and insights to plot as they want but its still a bit of a joke). Instead of pushing another lame story, 6 is geared towards the happenings of the games main characters. Leon (from 4) prances about, brushing his hair out his eyes, accompanied by some angry lady called Helena (no not Helena - HELAYNAR..???). Chris (from 5) is drinking his troubles away in mega cliche fashion, getting shot down by barmaids, zombies and disgustingly offensive camera angles. Anything said about this new guy Jake's campaign would be a spoiler. Thanks to the differing campaigns, players can journey through burning urban concrete jungles, mirky underground subways and tombs.

What they kept, what they changed, what the hell

Like its predecessor, 6 features cooperative gameplay for 2, utilizing teamwork slightly more efficiently and in more original and even realistic ways (such as providing support from long distance). However for every answer lies another question - why add gestures and signals? 5 let you press a button to respond to your partner - 6 lets you swagger a thumb about proclaiming "Thanks!" and several other pointless schmaltz - there is zero benefit to these actions other than general politeness - something long dead when there's a zombie apocalypse going on ya dig?

The Res series has never had a decent set of controls - ever - and this is dating back to the original. The need to hold buttons or use combinations to perform basic tasks commonplace in similar games were a chore but worth overlooking back then. Now in an age that boasts far greater capabilities, 6 is expected to be slightly better than those of its past - it aint. No pause menu, an obscuring jostled menu, 3 button basic moves and the option to use melee - something you could probably get away with using throughout instead of firing a single bullet.

By far the biggest atrocity committed by Capcom and their sixth installment in a once loved franchise is the blatant attempt at acquiring a new, larger audience, the kind of folk who're amazed by the special effects, dazzled by explosions and care little for fun and engaging gameplay. The shaky camera, abundance of firearms and cover system impart influences from Gears of War & Call of Duty. The dog tag and special abilities at the end of chapters are just forgettable and generally not worth bothering with.

I unfortunately pre-ordered this game, paying full RRP, expecting a quality gaming experience. When I got home after work, I headed straight for my mates who is equally into the RES series and played through the first chapter in Leon's campaign. It took us a good few hours each weekend to get it done, but by the end I was all by my lonesome on the final chapter as my friend had given up all hope of finding any enjoyment in the game. I wish I had called it quits also as I had to trudge through a long, drawn out uninteresting conclusion to a severely disappointing game... one that should of and could of met its lofty hype and expectations.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 21, 2013 1:04 PM BST

Apple iPhone 3G 8GB SIM-Free - Black
Apple iPhone 3G 8GB SIM-Free - Black

4.0 out of 5 stars Unnecessary gadgetry flimflammery Innovation, 9 Aug. 2012
I admit that I was a tad late to get my hands on Apple's fabled iPhone.. Because I was never keen on blowing hundreds on something that was masquerading as an essential item when in truth its a luxury. My dad was clearing out all the old and broken phones in the cupboard as he bought my mum a new one and realised we had a little pile of them and wanted one spare 'emergency' phone and to cash in on the other, so he asked if any of them worked. First off, I told him no matter what models they were, the phone recycling ads on tv may show people being stunned by cheques of "WOW maybe even £150!" but the reality was - he'd receive pittance. So there it was, a slightly scratched iPhone in a pink floral silicone case.. it didn't turn on and it was 'busted' according to ma. So I did what a lot of Apple products respond to (in this case the iPod Classic) and held two buttons to reset/factory restore whatever. Lo and behold it loaded up that metallic logo and I instantly swapped it for my crummy Nokia touchscreen, girl case and all!

I got this at 22, so its fair to say that I should be used to the device with the knowledge of both Macintosh computers and Apple iPods, so I can only imagine how difficult it would be for someone with no background know how on Apple products, or even standard computer use. For me, it was simple, at least it was after sorting out the troublesome sim card - unless you 'jailbreak' your phone, you could originally only use an O2 sim - (jailbreaking involves changing the phones firmware so it basically runs a different program, allowing for all sorts of custom modifications - however there are drawbacks and if you find problems? You're on your own.) Controlling and navigating the phone requires all sorts of flicking and swiping away at the thumbprint glossed screen, as well as pinching back and fourth to zoom in and out. Gone are the days of chunky buttons, now is the time of the touchscreen and apart from turning it on/off, everything else can be achieved by touch alone. I believe that if one were to use it solely for calls and messaging it would do fine and could be done with ease, however this would truly irradiate the whole point in purchasing an iPhone. Outside of the regular phone activities, expect to be checking your email, the weather, location and generally knobbing about with addictive minigames. I don't particularly agree with the phones heavy reliance on iTunes though, as not everyone is keen on the program, nor the program keen on them. iPhoto is also just as annoying, and simple transferring of photos, music and files becomes a right fiddly task - especially when trying to send file TO the phone.

With only two main buttons to concern yourself with, everything else you need to know, appears on screen. There is also a volume control on the side, along with a silent mode switch. It includes a standard headphone jack - which is fantastic because you can use the phone as an mp3 but mainly because other models slap on a dodgey looking slot that can only be used with a 'sold separately' money grab cable.. Sony Ericsson I'm looking at you. Its receiver is clearly the thin slot seen in the photo (it sounds pretty clear to me but with all phones, I find specific detail about phone line quality, difficult to ascertain), whereas the mic is nowhere to be seen. The On top is where the sim is stored (opened via pushing a pin inside) and kept safe in a little plastic case. On the bottom of the phone is the Apple connecter port for connecting via USB and AC adapters. There are also two very small speakers which although decent in terms of volume and clarity, can be obscured by hands and positioning. Lastly, there is the camera, about the size of a pea, it sits at the top of the back case staring at all who walk by. Compared to the rest of the phones capability, the lens is a let down at only 2.0 megapixels, it offers the most basic of 'phone photos'. It does however possess zoom abilities (although things get rather pixelated and obscured the further you go) and thanks to the freedom of the app world, can gain the ability to record videos. Another let down is its battery, with an ambitious operating system and all those apps running/ready, it drains away in the space of around 30 hours through general use. The final flaw I found in its hardare is the lack of a 'wakening alarm' - something almost every mobile phone has over this one, an alarm clock that turns on the phone, so you can switch off your mobile at night and rise with it in the morning, saving battery - something that should be high on this models priorities.

The apps have gained legendary status amongst phone users, with a wealth of differing programs to download for free, test out or pay full price for. Anyone can create and sell/offer their very own apps, making the AppStore an ever changing source of entertainment and ingenuity. The most common apps downloaded are those under the Google brand (maps, search, earth & translate) and internet favourites FaceBook, YouTube and Messenger. The phones utilities are handy to have as well with weather outlooks, stock market updates, a calendar, clock, calculator. Its worth noting though that not all apps have the desired outcome, nor are supported on older versions. Don't misunderstand, I'm not an appfiend who's constantly fiddling away with silly noises and games - I mostly get apps I deem extremely useful or enjoyable. With 8gb though, I probably could get a load more as they take up very little space. I am yet to find many that are worthy of remaining, outside of the default apps already installed. The whole process of downloading apps can be a bit of a chore too, having to login frequently and I'm not that comfortable paying via this method. Apps that mimic websites and their purpose are also heavily limited, as are the webpages themselves as not all (lesser known) sites support access via mobile devices.

Prices, Faults & Final Thoughts
You can find a 3G 8GB iPhone from anywhere between £100 - £200 which is still a fair investment when so many tariffs offer free phones with contracts (and because of the depreciation of the phone itself). The fact that mobile recycling sites offer 10-20 pounds for them goes to show you just how much they stand to make in profit (1000%!). With more complex OS's comes more errors, and the iPhone doesn't escape them. The most common problem would be the occasional freeze or need to reset which is fine as there is little or no aftermath. Then there are the big ones - mess about with sim cards, jailbreaking, software - and expect issues. One of the major glitches is the iTunes logo with USB - this one effectively BRICKS your phone and you need to connect to iTunes and restore your phone with a new update and wait about an hour. If you get that image with the ability to make emergency calls however, you just need to reinsert the sim and USB. Putting the phone in DFU (device firmware upgrade or 'recovery') mode is annoying also, as you need to hold the power, then home, let go of one, whilst holding the other blah blah blah. These problems are the last thing you need if you've spent so much money on it. Personally, I was glad I managed to 'fix the busted bloody thing' because I now had a phone with up to date capabilities. I've never been onboard with the ideas of being able to do this and that on a handheld device thats sole purpose should be a PHONE, but the benefits of compiling so many things into one certainly makes things easier, if a little irrelevant.

Project Zero 2: Crimson Butterfly (Xbox)
Project Zero 2: Crimson Butterfly (Xbox)
Offered by Retrotrader68
Price: £52.90

4.0 out of 5 stars ... ..... ..........I don't want to play anymore, 7 Aug. 2012
Project Zero 2: Crimson Butterfly: Directors Cut (Origins)
A couple of years after playing the first of Tecmo's Fatal Frame series, I wandered into my local game store and found this grinning at me on the shelf. I had got fairly far into the first game, but seeing as I was still getting used to the original Xbox console, I was far busier playing the likes of Halo with friends and KOTOR alone.. Plus I was probably stuck on one of the games tough enemies or trivial minigames.. Anyway, this time around, 2 restored my interest enough to pay more attention and get an eyeful of one of the scariest games on the system. When gamers think of titles in the horror genre (for xbox & ps2), the top results are usually Resident Evil & Silent Hill. Although, unlike both of those games, there is significantly less physical gore. PZ2 plays on the nerves, making you question your eyesight, hearing and bravery as you attempt to tackle a fantastically creepy story. The first game's plot revolved around a young woman searching for her brother who had set out to explore an old mansion, encountering ghosts and monstrosities along the way. 2 sticks with the lost sibling idea, however this time, is far more menacing.

"Didn't we always promise each other... that we would always be together forever" (Plot)
The very first introductory video stars two young twin girls, Mio & Mayu taking a break in a secluded forest near a pleasant little stream. The pair reminisce about their location, (soon to be destroyed by the building of a dam) revealing that Mayu had an accident that left her leg weak due to the negligence of Mio. Suddenly, in the middle of a question, Mayu strolls off... drawn out deeper into the forest by a crimson butterfly... well actually is more lava orangey than crimson... Anyway Mio easily catches up to her limping sister, seeing troubling images as she approches ever closer. Together again, day turns to night and a black and white filter engulfs the screen. Now lost, the two girls edge their way towards a once lost village, blanketed in endless night. Things grow increasingly worrying as both girls witness spirits wandering around and find mysterious documents lying about one of the houses... along with the fabled 'Camera Obscura' - a device used to see and capture spirits on a different plane. Just in time too, as unsettling noises arise from the next room! After combatting and escaping several ghosts, Mio & Mayu find several diaries, newspaper clippings and tomes all divulging on one thing - 'The Crimson Sacrifice' Ritual. This is where the game gets seriously grim. Every so often, this ritual must be performed in the village to 'appease the Hellish Abyss'. To do so, twins must partake in a cruel ceremony, to keep the location safe from this 'Abyss' - by having one twin kill the other. The last attempt was a failure, as one twin simply ran away, abandoning her sister, who would suffer the same fate regardless. It appears that the previous sacrifice was insufficient and so the ghosts of the past, including Sae, the sacrificed twin, spilled out into the village and went on a murderous rampage. With Mayu showing signs of possession, you (Mio) must follow her exploits whilst attempting an escape.

Cameras, Herbal Medicine, Spirit Orbs & Miniskirts (Gameplay)
One thing that the PZ series has made trademark is the idea of having the main protagonists as young, naive girls. So instead of traversing the horror as a bulky bloke with a machine gun or 2x4, you float about like a little powder puff, raising your arms as you daintily jog away from moaning bloodthirsty demons. This lack of self preservation and pace makes every escape a close call, every fight even more one-sided. The games viewpoint is normally stable, with a clear shot of an area which you can navigate in 3rd person. This is one of the many reasons why playing can be a nail-biting affair because you often turn corners blind, unknowing to what lurks beyond. Thanks to this view style, the surrounds are of far greater detail as they aren't really intractable (so they have been illustrated, painted and look far better than anything computer generated - in 2003). To battle the ghosts, the game switches to first person mode as you ogle your opponents through the camera lens. Again, with this switch of view comes more suspense as now, ghosts can circle around behind you, pop in and out of walls and doorways, grabbing you by the ghoullies. To damage the spirits, you simply take photos - the better the photo, the more damage dealt, along with stronger film, spirit power and lenses. The majority of the game is endlessly searching dark rooms and creaking buildings for, Mayu, Safety and Answers. There is a bit of reading to do - albeit interesting & insightful, puzzles which require patience and more hunting down items - and of course ghost fights getting tougher with each reel. You can come across a couple of different items such as medicine for healing and new equipment (camera abilities to slow, stun and knock back spirits), but the majority of useful goods are orbs to power up the camera, which are essential to spend points gained from photos - which by the way are viewable in an album, which is nice.. or a traumatic memory.

Lightning Bolts & A Bloody Kimono (Ghosts & Environments)
Like the characters, ghosts and story, the locations are equally frightening. You're neither safe in or outdoors as there are likely to be creatures waiting for both. Outside there are chilling ideas used in many stories such as a well, which is heavily strapped down and closed, a misty graveyard, fogged bridges and underground passages. Indoors you've got dimly lit rooms adorned with traditional Japanese luxuries and clothing plus the odd blood spatter. Lightning often cracks into life when you pass by windows, lighting up rooms and its contents. The sounds are yet another positive (besides the voice acting which is rather generic) not always having a clear melody in the background, its usually whirling wind and cool air, but when things get serious you'll hear a heartbeat and the cries of anguish from the trapped souls. The silence makes it far more tense as you're expecting things to leap out and get you for long periods and as you settle down, contorted ghosts head your way and get the heart racing again. There are 25 different attacking ghosts you can come across, but unfortunately several look similar and are a bit uninspiring. Consequently, it is the ghosts who look most human that are the scariest, often with disfiguring scars and broken limbs - not that they are distracting them from tearing you apart. The ghosts 'Yae' & 'Sunken Woman' are some real terrors, one a little girl covered in blood, cackling away atop grotesque strewn corpses, the other bubbles up and floats innocently on the surface of a lake you must cross, inevitably getting closer and revealing her lifeless face upon attack.

The Lingering Scent (End)
This Xbox version features 4 endings, which is one more compared to the PS2 version, although not one I particularly care for. The 4 conclusions all vary in mood and offer real choices that people would consider. These endings can make for better longevity, but I think for most, 1 play through is enough as others must be done on harder difficulties, and its stressful enough on normal as save points are scarce. Its definitely a fright fest, but if you have no time for the spiritual side of horror than you could breeze through the game only picking up a couple of scares from the jumpy moments. Get engrossed in the story though and the game works its magic. If you had to kill your twin whilst being eyeballed by a village of evil ghosts, would you? or would you do what I'd do, LEG IT!

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