Shop now Shop now Shop now  Up to 70% Off Fashion  Shop all Amazon Fashion Cloud Drive Photos Shop now Learn More Shop now Shop now Shop Fire Shop Kindle Shop now Shop now Shop now
Profile for Surrey Smallholder > Reviews

Personal Profile

Content by Surrey Smallholder
Top Reviewer Ranking: 461,938
Helpful Votes: 48

Learn more about Your Profile.

Reviews Written by
Surrey Smallholder "Surrey Smallholder" (Guildford Surrey)

Show:  
Page: 1 | 2 | 3
pixel
Veo VEOAUDIO-RE-FR - cable interface/gender adapters (Lightning, 30-pin Apple, Red, Male/Female, iPhone 4 / 4S - iPhone 5, iPod Touch 5)
Veo VEOAUDIO-RE-FR - cable interface/gender adapters (Lightning, 30-pin Apple, Red, Male/Female, iPhone 4 / 4S - iPhone 5, iPod Touch 5)

4.0 out of 5 stars Arrived quickly. Useful for when I switched iPhones and needed to keep talking to my Quilt wife Yvonne, before she left too, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I needed to talk to Yvonne. I had swapped from an Iphone 4 to an Iphone 5. How do you talk to your Quilt wife (Yvonne) if she is incompatible with your chosen smart phone. You use this adapter!


JSG Accessories® Dock Extension Cable Support Audio Video Signal for Apple iPhone, iPod , iPad in white colour
JSG Accessories® Dock Extension Cable Support Audio Video Signal for Apple iPhone, iPod , iPad in white colour

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Used to give my Quilt Yvonne a voice, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Once I had made a Quilt copy of Yvonne (my wife who left me for Derek...see other reviews), I wanted to hear her again. I used to talk to Quilt Yvonne all the time! But if only she could talk back? By placing a small speaker in Quilt Yvonnes chest cavity I could easily have in depth and meaningful conversations with her. I would just record Yvonnes part of the conversation while wearing her clothes and talking in her voice, and play them back. Oh we had such fun! She was so, so cheeky! And provocative! She often surprised me with her unconventional views on fossil fuels, large animal management and early 19th Century American History.


Country Cottage Quilting: 15 Quirky Quilt Projects Combining Stitchery with Patchwork
Country Cottage Quilting: 15 Quirky Quilt Projects Combining Stitchery with Patchwork
by Lynette Anderson
Edition: Paperback
Price: £14.18

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I made a quilt effigy of my wife (Yvonne) using this book., 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I am a man who likes to work in the garden. I love a spade. A garden fork in my hand is like a pen in the hand of James Joyce, a brush in the hands of Cezanne, a hose in the hand of a fireman. Following the Ash Yd handle incident (see other review) things, well, OK....Yvonne left. She left with Derek. She chose Derek, not me.

What could I do? What would you do? If the only woman you've ever loved walked out of your life? Yes, its obvious isn't it? I am a resourceful man. I make things happen! When she left she didn't take all of her clothes, and night after night I used to cry myself to sleep thinking of her in our home, but looking at her lifeless clothes. Then, a flash of pure inspiration! I will make a quilt copy of Yvonne using basic stitchery, quilting and applique techniques, and every day dress her in different clothes!

The result was FANTASTIC! It was like Yvonne! But here with me, and not with Derek. We spent hours and hours together, dancing, laughing, talking. Oh a life reborn! But then....disaster. Quilt Yvonne and I went for a walk one November morning, the dry leaves of autumn catching in her golden wool hair. She said she was tired, so she sat on a bench while I went to get a cup of tea for us both. I came back and Quilt Yvonne had gone! Again! Immediately I looked for Quilt Derek, but instead saw a gang of children taking Yvonne away. "Yvonne, Yvonne....come back my love!" But it was too late.

I thought I'd never see Quilt Yvonne again. Then I opened the Newspaper (Surrey Advertiser) and there she was, atop a bonfire, getting ready to celebrate the ritual death of a traitor! Oh Quilt Yvonne, Quilt Yvonne, the echos of our time together will be remembered forever.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 13, 2014 8:45 AM BST


DKNY Women Eau de Parfum - 50 ml
DKNY Women Eau de Parfum - 50 ml
Price: £27.20

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It was her, blind love, I fell immediately, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Long warm happy days, filled with love, wine and laughter. Yvonne and I, together, in love. No, something deeper than simply love, an all encompassing passion. She filled my mind, my eyes, my body, my soul. And now? And now Yvonne is with......Derek. She left after the Ash Yd incident (see other review). What could I do? I did what any normal man would do when his wife leaves him for his Neighbour, I made a quilt effigy of her and sprayed it with her favourite perfume.


TOC 2 Sided 'To The World You May Be Someone...' Love Heart Pendant, 16" Chain
TOC 2 Sided 'To The World You May Be Someone...' Love Heart Pendant, 16" Chain
Offered by eurosparkle
Price: £7.17

5.0 out of 5 stars And to think, I was going to give this to Yvonne!, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
It was going to be a surprise gift for the only woman in my life, Yvonne. I kept it in my sock drawer, waiting for the right moment to give it to.....Yvonne. But its too late. Yvonne? Gone! With Derek! Derek! He of the Ash Yd handle! Oh please don't say you've not seen the review. She went, but what can I do with this? A token of love once won, now lost, forever in a drawer........
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2014 10:57 PM BST


' I Love My Mum ' - Photo Picture Frame Gift - 5 x 3.5 " - Brushed Aluminium Satin Silver Colour
' I Love My Mum ' - Photo Picture Frame Gift - 5 x 3.5 " - Brushed Aluminium Satin Silver Colour
Offered by Cygnet Gifts
Price: £6.99

5.0 out of 5 stars I have no memory of my mother, this helps, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Growing up in the orphanage I often wondered what it would be like to have a mother. Difficult years bled into difficult, sorrow filled decades. Then Yvonne (Oh, please do not get me started! Yes, Yvonne of the Ash Yd review obviously!) suggested (during a brief moment of kindness before she had even met Derek), that perhaps I could think of who would be my ideal mother, and perhaps put a picture of them in a special frame. This is the frame I use. I change mothers every month (actually every 4 weeks, allowing 13 mothers in a 52 week period. Its temporally cleaner I find). This month its Benedict Cumberbatch. Last month it was Teresa May. Next month I'm toying with either Hayley from Coronation Street, or the lady that used to do the Shake and Vac advert.


Global Gizmos Benross Mini Jackpot Bank
Global Gizmos Benross Mini Jackpot Bank

8 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Not a good way to give up compulsive gambling, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Following the Ash Yd handle situation (see other review), my life was empty without Yvonne. She made her choice, and her choice was Derek. And to think, Yvonne used to to sing Abba's "Take a chance on me"! Yes I did Yvonne, I took that chance, and what did you take? Me? No! You took Derek!

Empty, empty days. Before I knew what I was doing I was playing online Poker under the pseudonym "Rusty Jim", and had to sell the car after being dealt a bad hand by a guy called Enriquo from Bolton. Things were spiralling out of control. I didn't change the batteries on the smoke alarms! I had to break away from this addiction, but how? How? HOW? With the Global Gizmo Benross Mini Jackpot Bank...thats how! This thing has literally saved my life. Every time I pull its handle its like I'm chasing the gambling dragon around the room until hes sick.


Starting with Chickens
Starting with Chickens
by Katie Thear
Edition: Paperback

4.0 out of 5 stars .....and ending with Foxes, 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Starting with Chickens (Paperback)
Good book, covers everything that you'd need to know. However, if you are thinking of keeping chickens, keep Pigs instead. I've had loads of Chickens that have met with their demise at the jaws of the cunning Reynard, but never lost a Pig to a Fox. Pretty certain that a Pig could eat a chicken. Would be messy.


Starting with Pigs: A Beginners Guide
Starting with Pigs: A Beginners Guide
by Andy Case
Edition: Paperback
Price: £7.95

5.0 out of 5 stars Pigs. Not Sheep., 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
If you are thinking of keeping Pigs, do. Clever, funny and nice with a bit of brown sauce. They are also robust, and not suicidal like sheep. Also, usefully, they don't get eaten by Foxes, which happens to Chickens. Decent book. Covers all the basics. My Rabbi loved it.


The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Non-Believer
The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Non-Believer
by Christopher Hitchens
Edition: Paperback
Price: £12.08

4.0 out of 5 stars Some good stuff in here. The chapter on Islam is very good., 30 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Decent spread of work in this chunky book. If you want to get a good feel for the 'Atheist' movement, you could do worse than starting here. The chapter on Islam is a cracker.


Page: 1 | 2 | 3