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Angel Time: The Songs of the Seraphim 1
Angel Time: The Songs of the Seraphim 1
by Anne Rice
Edition: Hardcover

13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sanctimonious and Boring., 25 Jan. 2010
Put simply, this was honestly one of the most boring books I have ever read.

I have read many of Anne Rice's Vampire Series books, and while some can be hit and miss, most were very enjoyable. Not so for this book, alas, which seemed like she just couldn't be bothered to make an effort with the unimaginative plot she expects us to swallow. The entire premise of a "redeemed hit-man" and his time travelling angel guide is not so much unrealistic as it is unconvincing and lack lustre. The story goes something like this:- hired hit-man with "bad childhood" meets an angel, the angel casts him back in time to medieval England to help others and redeem himself. The rest of the book is essentially dull page filling and pedantic rambling, neither of which really adds anything to the story, or my attention span for that matter. What makes it even less bearable is the way that Anne Rice spends pages ranting about religious themes, saints, god, and Christian salvation (Catholic, mostly)... thanks Anne, but I can get that kind of patronising stuff with any religious channel on satellite, cheers. On top of that, I can only assume she got paid handsomely for the many ingratiating pages she wrote on the real life hotel mentioned at the start of the book, which reads more like a obsequious travel brochure.

This book was a herculean struggle to get to the end:- its dull, boring, unconvincing, unimaginative, and the overbearing (not to mention endless) religious nonsense made it less of a story than it did sanctimonious preaching. Anne Rice has lost her flair, and I certainly won't be buying the promised sequels... watching paint dry in a catholic church will have the same effect, and for less money.


Demon
Demon
by Peter Mark May
Edition: Paperback
Price: £9.99

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Simply Awful, 22 Sept. 2009
This review is from: Demon (Paperback)
I'm somewhat surprised by the other reviews here, I thought this book was awful. My first feeling when I started reading his book was that it seemed to be written in the style one would expect from a socially inept teenager who spends most of their time playing role paying games.

I had no expectations of the book when I started reading it, but it was the hardest book to finish, and took a lot of effort to get to the end. The story is very simplistic:- good guy saves girl, good guy battles baddies from hell, good guy tries to stop an invasion from hell of rather un-hell like creatures with more penchant for pretentious language than anything evil. And that's about it.

The book is littered with cringe worthy grandiose language and titles, such as the protagonist calling himself the "King's Paladin" and his nemesis the "Arch Duke of Hell". The protagonist is a mild mannered geek who turns out to be an all round perfect guy, an able "warrior", a hit with the girls, brave and well versed in magic... and about as unrealistic as you can get. The other characters are all one dimensional stereotypes:- his ex-girlfriend is a pompous London yuppie type with more arrogance than substance, his new girlfriend was obviously based on "Pretty Woman", his grandmother is the stern country lady, and his pet dog is the guardian of Hades who can leap between dimensions. Hell is painted to look more like a Disney Themed Park Ride than anywhere the damned would spend a torturous eternity.

If this book was geared for young teenagers, I'd say fine, but its supposed to be a horror... unfortunately its a boring read, unbearably cringing in places, and about as scary as a tea bag.


The Dracula Tape
The Dracula Tape
by Fred Saberhagen
Edition: Paperback

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Absolute Rubbish, 1 July 2008
This review is from: The Dracula Tape (Paperback)
As you can see from all the other reviews, they are from the same person quoting various lines from the same review. Clearly an attempt by the author to make his book look more interesting and move it up the review listing.

The truth: This book had an interesting concept, but its badly written, and what few entertaining bits there are seem to be mostly plagiarised from the original Dracula. Nothing new here, and I found the book to be simply boring.

No wonder the author had to write all these fake reviews to make this seem like a good buy.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: May 6, 2012 4:56 AM BST


Mister B. Gone
Mister B. Gone
by Clive Barker
Edition: Hardcover

6 of 12 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Dull and painfully boring, 9 April 2008
This review is from: Mister B. Gone (Hardcover)
Well, I used to be a big fan of Clive Barker, but this book looks like it was written by a repressed teenager with delusions of being Stephen King, and couldn't be more boring if it tried.

The story of Jakabok the demon begins (supposedly) in the 9th level of hell. Clive Barker's version of hell seems to be no more original than the suburbs of Calcutta. As the book is narrated by Jakabok himself, most of the story consists of him "threatening" the reader, which are just downright boring (I skipped most of those pages) and do nothing for the story. Ah, yes, the story.... a unrequited gay love affair between Jakabok and another daemon as they seek out the "greatest invention" ever. This other demon is about as evil as a jar of pasta sauce, and I'm sorry, I just didn't get any feeling either of these people were from Hell. Maybe a bad upbringing, yes, but not hell. Reading about their journey and so-called "evil deeds" along the way was simply mind-numbing, and I found myself skipping more and more pages to get to the "climax" which was even more pointless than the story itself.

I was left wondering what the point of the whole thing was? Is it a battle between good and evil, or between your conscience? Is it that demons are not that evil at all, just boring? Love is pointless, and unrequited gay love even more so? Then again, I asked myself, why do I care... clearly Clive Barker didn't.

I wouldn't bother with this book, clearly Clive has given up the ghost on writing and this was just to pay for some bills. The cover is more interesting than what's inside I'm afraid.


Fifty Ways of Saying Fabulous
Fifty Ways of Saying Fabulous
by Graeme Aitken
Edition: Paperback

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars A good read and mildly amusing, 19 Jan. 2007
I had read 'Vanity Fierce' by the same author, and loved it so much I though I'd give this book a try. Sad in places, funny in others, this book is an entertaining read and quite insightful at times. It covers the growing pains of a boy wrestling with his sexuality with great tact and insight, and how the conservatism of rural life can affect ones self perceptions.

My only real issue with the book is that, while there are some genuinely funny moments, there's just not enough going on in the plot to keep you fully engaged, and sometimes I found a little bit of apathy creeping in... and sometimes I was just plain old bored.

Having said that, the witticism and observations are delightfully funny at times, and make the book worth reading for that reason alone.


Vanity Fierce
Vanity Fierce
by Graeme Aitken
Edition: Paperback

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Charming and bitter-sweet, and wonderfully funny., 18 Jan. 2007
This review is from: Vanity Fierce (Paperback)
I received this book as a gift from a friend coming home from an Australian holiday, and I was a little reluctant to read it, it wasn't really my genre of book to begin with. But as I have been to Sydney many times, I decided give the first few chapters a try, to say that I gave it a fair chance, and I was very much surprised by how much I loved it... a wonderfully amusing story that's charming, gritty in places, and bitter-sweet.

The story involves one Stephen Spear, your classic vain, beautiful and shallow gay man, from his teenage coming out to his new life in Sydney, where he meets the love of his life. Problem is, the love of his life seems completely disinterested in him, and Stephen cannot fathom why. So Stephen sets out on a sometimes clever, but mostly vindictive, journey to encourage his new beau to fall for him, crushing a few hearts along the way to reach his single-minded goal. Stephens journey is one of self discovery and realisation, and its one in which any gay man can recognise in himself, or recognise in someone we have met along the way.

The book does not try to be overly clever or intellectual in any way, but it does hit on some real issues, and its portrayal of gay life is painfully accurate in places. You can't help feel a little pity for Stephen, as he battles with unrequited love, even though he doesn't deserve our pity because of his actions.

My only criticism is that the story can falter a little in places, but the pace picks up quickly again before boredom sets in. This is one of the few books that I genuinely wanted to read again, its real delight to read, and it left me a little sad but very glad I gave the book a chance.


Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius (The Vampire Chronicles)
Blood and Gold: The Vampire Marius (The Vampire Chronicles)
by Anne Rice
Edition: Paperback

1 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read... one of the better Anne Rice books., 15 Nov. 2006
Given that Anne Rice is chucking out 'from my point of view' vampire story-lines like the writers of an afternoon soap opera, I kind of gave up reading the any more of her books after "Armand". However, my curiosity got the better of me and I had to read this one, mainly because I hoped it captured some of the charm of the original five in the series. I wasn't disappointed, it was a great read! The start and end of the book seem a little lame, simply poor rapping for the tale of Marius, but when his story gets going, its captivating and addictive.

There is some re-hashing of the previous books, a lot of the story we have heard before, but I found this quite nostalgic rather than boring. The character Marius is incredibly charming and intelligent, and you can't help but love him as he carries you through the long centuries of his life's tale, giving us a unique perspective of his encounters with Lestat, Armand, and the Queen of the Dammed Akasha.

One of the better Rice vampire novels, and definitely more true to form than some of her latest offerings. It would help if you read at least some of the original vampire chronicles, including Armand and Pandora, but this books is well able to stand on its own. A great book, and a captivating read, I'd highly recommend it.


Forever Odd
Forever Odd
by Dean Koontz
Edition: Hardcover

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars A boring rehash of the original., 8 Nov. 2006
This review is from: Forever Odd (Hardcover)
Okay, I have to say, I used to be a huge Dean Koontz fan, but this book was the most boring and unoriginal work he's ever produced. Lately, his books are simply copies of topical movies, or rehashes of his own earlier works. This book is a far cry from the days of the "Bad Place" and "Phantoms". As usual, this book consists of a great guy (humbly modest) with great friends that simply adore him, super pets, and even more super girlfriend, living in a small town with supernatural things running amok.... Sound familiar? Indeed it does, it's a Dean Koontz formulae novel, and it's been done before in "Seize the Night", "Watchers", and "Fear Nothing" to name a few.

If that wasn't bad enough, this book is just down right boring, it's practically a lame copy of the original "Odd Thomas", which incidentally, wasn't all that great to be begin with. The book just seems to go nowhere after a futile attempt to build up some suspense. It was more like watching an hour long episode of a TV crime series than reading a novel, and at the end of the book I couldn't care less if they all died or won the lottery, I just wanted it to end. I found myself simply skipping pages throughout the book, and realising I missed nothing.... One of those books that you either can't wait to finish, or simply give up out of boredom.


Alec Baldwin Doesn`t Love Me: And Other Trials from My Queer Life
Alec Baldwin Doesn`t Love Me: And Other Trials from My Queer Life
by Michael Thomas Ford
Edition: Paperback

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A collection of funny anecdotes and observations, but no story, 8 Nov. 2006
This book is more of a collection of witty anecdotes and observations fitted somewhat erratically into chapters, than an actual novel. Its not that I didn't enjoy this book, I certainly did, but the books lacks any continuity between chapters, and is more of a diatribe of mutually exclusive ramblings than the expected interwoven tapestry of the author's life.

Having said that, the book is quite funny in places, and Mr. Ford has a singular wit when it comes to the individual aspects of his life, aspects that any gay man can easily relate to. In fact, I found the book to be an interesting diversion from what is the expected "norm" for a gay man, and I found myself agreeing with the author:- Like the author, I'm one of those "freaks" who happens to be gay and cannot stand musicals (There, I've said it!).

This book is an ideal read for a rainy day on the sofa, or lazing in the park on a Sunday afternoon with your favourite coffee beverage: don't take it too seriously, don't expect too much, and enjoy the clever wit of Michael Thomas Ford.


Vampyrrhic
Vampyrrhic
by Simon Clark
Edition: Paperback

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Eerie read, genuinely scary... A Smashing Horror Novel, 8 Nov. 2006
This review is from: Vampyrrhic (Paperback)
I have to say, I had mixed feelings about purchasing this book when I read the somewhat polarised reviews. However, this book turned out to be a real page turner for me. The story involves a group of people, seemingly from different backgrounds, who are drawn to the backwater town of Leppington. This town's underground labyrinth has been hiding a horde of vampires there for many years, fed by the Leppington family throughout the centuries. This group of strangers soon realises it is their destiny to confront these creatures and chose which side they will fight on in the coming war between the living and the un-dead.

This book is quite similar in feel to other works, most notably Salem's Lot, but I have to say, I found the book genuinely scary in parts. There is something in the way Simon Clark writes, while not very taxing from a literary point of view, is quite eerie, almost hypnotic, and draws you right into the plight and fears of the main protagonists. He is well able to build the suspense, so much so I found myself wanting to skip pages to see what happens next. I couldn't put this book down. Some parts of the plot are a little hard to swallow and lacking substance, such as the origin of the vampires in the story, but given the good scare Simon Clark give us, one can forgive him a little poetic licence.

Would recommend the sequel also, Vampyrrhic Rites, which much of the same, but thankfully maintains the eerie feel of this book.


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