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Profile for Smokin Louise > Reviews

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Content by Smokin Louise
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Smokin Louise

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Master Class Stainless Steel Triple Hard and Soft Boiled Egg Timer / Sand Timer
Master Class Stainless Steel Triple Hard and Soft Boiled Egg Timer / Sand Timer
Price: £9.34

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Time your eggs and achieve pregnancy more easily (or something), 23 May 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I'm a professional person so I was instantly attracted to this 'professional' egg timer; no more amateur egg timing for me, oh no. I couldn't wait for the moment it arrived and I could start professionally boiling my eggs. The great day arrived and I put a pan of water on to boil. Luckily one of the chickens in my garden had laid a lovely brown egg which I lowered into the water then turned over the timer. When the sand ran out in the five minute glass, I fished out the egg and cracked the top, eager to dip a soldier into it. Agh no, the egg was completely raw; what had gone wrong? Well it turned out that it was a question of grammar; this isn't a 'professional' egg timer, rather it's a timer for professional eggs, and my garden hens are amateurs and thus, lay amateur eggs. when I bought some battery hen eggs from the supermarket everything worked just fine. Truly an inspirational product that looks nice in the kitchen.


No Title Available

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Stop snoring forever, 20 May 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
My husband was a dreadful snorer but resolutely refused to do anything about it; he wouldn't see a doctor or try any sort of remedy. I tried sleeping in the spare room but it was too noisy, I moved into the garage but I could still hear him, brrrrr fwsssshhh all night. I even tried sleeping in the shed but to no avail; and then I spotted this product.
I immediately ordered 10 packs, 300 strips in all. On the day they arrived, I waited until I heard a sound like a broken exhaust pipe, snook into the bedroom and stuck one across the bridge of his nose. He rolled over, scratched his bottom, and started snoring again. I stuck another one on, and immediately noticed a small reduction in noise level. 'Aha' I thought, and stuck a few more on; the noise lessened with each strip I applied. I ran out of space on his nose and was soon sticking them across his nostrils and then over his mouth. When I had used all three hundred strips he was finally silent and I had my best nights sleep in years. That was three weeks ago and he hasn't kept me awake at all, in fact, he hasn't moved from his bed or made a single sound. He is also starting to smell.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 6, 2016 2:47 PM BST


Organic Baeri Sturgeon Caviar from Pyrenees. 1800 gr.
Organic Baeri Sturgeon Caviar from Pyrenees. 1800 gr.
Offered by Deliterranea
Price: £3,780.00

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No plaice for a brain sturgeon, 20 May 2015
I was given a tin of this at the local food bank and thought that I'd have it with some oven chips and a small tin of marrowfat peas. I slopped a big dollop of it onto the side of the plate and dipped a chip into it; yuck, it was all fishy, not what I expected at all, so I tried to feed it to the cat but he wouldn't eat it either. In desperation I dropped it into my fish tank; thinking 'those goldfish will eat anything', but I was wrong again. The goldfish recognised that this was fish eggs and built a nest and started sitting on the eggs. They sat on the eggs for several weeks until one finally hatched and I'm now the proud owner of two strapping great teenage sturgeons who live in my bath and nibble me all over when I bathe. What can I say but, great product.


10 X 100  WATT PEARL CLEAR LIGHT BULB BC BULBS by MAXIM
10 X 100 WATT PEARL CLEAR LIGHT BULB BC BULBS by MAXIM
Offered by Select Online
Price: £8.82

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Eco bulbs give as much light as daffodil bulbs., 23 Feb. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I noticed that I was having trouble reading and started to worry that my sight was going. That didn't seem quite right as I only noticed the problem at home in my front room.
I was clearing out a cupboard and I found a 100 Watt bulb of the non Eco friendly type. I had to change the ceiling rose as some yoghurt weaving previous occupant had fitted ones that only accept energy saving bulbs. (Well, I suppose they do save energy; energy used by reading a book and energy used cleaning the house as you can't see how dirty things are.)
Anyway, in went the old fashioned, fossil fuel burning, polar bear killing, planet warming bulb, and now I can read books again. Less happily, I can see when my carpet needs vacuuming, but never mind, I can read again.
So you can keep your energy saving green light bulbs, I prefer a bulb that gives a decent amount of light. Long live the incandescent light bulb.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 13, 2016 6:31 PM GMT


Taken by the Pterodactyl (Dinosaur Erotica)
Taken by the Pterodactyl (Dinosaur Erotica)
Price: £2.24

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Utter drivel, 26 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I downloaded this book to my kindle so that my friends and I could have a giggle over it in the pub. I have never read such a load of absolute codswallop in my entire life. Obviously I wasn't expecting Shakespeare but "she could tell that this pterodactyl wanted to cum" really takes the biscuit; some basic biology lessons probably wouldn't do the author any harm. Maybe she'll write about people having sex with fairies next, or even God. Maybe I'm a little unfair, after all, pterodactyls existed once whereas god and fairies never did, and I did giggle at the creature nibbling her nipples with its beak.
Warning; if you get off to this trash, you need to see a shrink.


Care+ Glycerin Suppositories 4g Adults Size (Glycerol) 12
Care+ Glycerin Suppositories 4g Adults Size (Glycerol) 12
Price: £1.75

14 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Don't go more then five metres from the lavatory, 27 Nov. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
When they described these things as glycerine suppositories they missed out the prefix, nitro. These are nitroglycerine suppositories; grease 'em up, bung 'em in, count to three (two being one too few), and KABOOM. Nothing will be left alive within a 100 metre radius.
These are the soil and vent pipe unblocker of last resort; I think I'd rather "call the mudwife" and ask someone to perform a forceps delivery of the bumbaby using warm teaspoons and olive oil than subject my clackervalve to the explosive forces generated by these "Weapons of Ass Destruction".
Your precious nipsy (and you only get one) will end up looking like a Flanders poppy; bright red and shot to pieces.
You have been warned.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: May 23, 2014 9:22 PM BST


1 x rosehip jam (hip) from France - confiture d églantine (gratte-cul) Bernard le Gulvout - 220 gr + 1 bag of madeleine Théodore Bardin-Cuinet
1 x rosehip jam (hip) from France - confiture d églantine (gratte-cul) Bernard le Gulvout - 220 gr + 1 bag of madeleine Théodore Bardin-Cuinet
Offered by French grocery
Price: £12.92

5.0 out of 5 stars this is delicious or should I say delicieaux, 16 Nov. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I want to give this SEVEN stars.
It's the Rolls Royce, the Burj-al-Arab, the Dom Perignon of jams.
It gives liberte, egalite and fraternite with every mouthful, and its napoleonically tasty.
This is the tastiest jam in the universe, possible the tastiest thing ever made.
I could eat the whole pot with a spoon.
It comes with little cake bars which you can dip into this revolutionary jam.
These Frenchies know a thing or two about food, that's for sure and you can put my head on a spike outside the Tuilleries if it isn't true.
Sacre Bleu, I've eaten it all and will have to order some more.


Camille Womens Ladies Red Push Up Padded Underwired Bra 40C
Camille Womens Ladies Red Push Up Padded Underwired Bra 40C
Offered by Camille Lingerie

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Over shoulder boulder holder, 16 Nov. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This was ordered after an alcohol induced frenzy of breast measurement (with a plumber's steel tape measure!).
Obviously, it's completely the wrong size but it seemed like a good idea with a gutful of nasty cider on board. It arrived in good time and I soon found that it sits about an inch clear of my chest allowing boobage to spill out underneath and to the sides; I am actually a 38D not a 40C and couldn't wear it as a normal bra. I can however, wear it on the outside of my clothes for fancy dress and loan it to male friends who want to support their moobs.
I gave it 4 stars as it is a decent quality bra and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Ladies; don't measure your funbags when you're tiddly.


Is It Really Too Much To Ask?: The World According to Clarkson Volume 5
Is It Really Too Much To Ask?: The World According to Clarkson Volume 5
Price: £4.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars its a "Loo Read", 16 Nov. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Reading Clarkson is one of those guilty pleasures; I wouldn't want visitors to spot him on my bookshelf but my kindle is a private secret place.
(Apparently, one of the most popular things to search for on a kindle is gay erotic fiction so there are a lot of people who also regard their Kindles as secret places!)
This is a good lavatory book, ideal for a five minute sit down visit, you'll find that Clarkson's opinions chime with your own in a mildly amusing way. He obviously lives a nice life, socialising with the great and good of the country and it's interesting to read about it; on the toilet.


Chemistry
Chemistry
Price: £5.75

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How can something this wonderful be a free download, 16 Nov. 2013
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Chemistry (Kindle Edition)
I always assume that you get what you pay for; everything that costs more is automatically better.
But this book was free.
Its an excellent reminder of all of the chemistry (and atomic physics) that you used to know. I find it very enjoyable, in a quiet moment, to dip into a book and relearn something from years ago; radioactive equations, the ideal gas laws, properties of the halogens; you knew all of these things at school but they've blended into the ever greying fog of the past. It only takes a little snippet to bring these facts bouncing back to life so why not have a free chemistry book on your Kindle.
Next time you're watching "I'm a non-entity, make me famous for no good reason" or some other such drivel on your TV; switch it off because it's poisoning your brain, and let a little bit of quantum physics slide into your consciousness instead. You'll be a better person for it, I guarantee.


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