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Profile for Alonzo Mosely > Reviews

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Alonzo Mosely (England)

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Splice [DVD]
Splice [DVD]
Dvd ~ Adrien Brody
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.78

7 of 16 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Most Boring Horror Film Since 'The Fourth Kind', 3 Dec. 2010
This review is from: Splice [DVD] (DVD)
I had read interesting things about Splice, it was sold to me as an intellectual horror film. I found it pretentious and boringly predictable. The lead characters are scientists who are meant to be the finest in their field, but they are unlikeable and annoying, who throughout the film make stupid and predictable "Horror Movie Mistakes".

The film tries desperately hard to shock, but there isn't one genuinely shocking or slightly scary moment in the entire Movie. It might have worked as a `B' Movie, but the director is so inept at directing horror, that he successfully avoids the imagery and tension filled scenes that makes a great Horror Flick.

It is badly made, slow paced, pretentious rubbish, and is probably the worst film I have seen all year.
Comment Comments (41) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 21, 2012 6:06 PM BST

Alien Apocalypse [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Alien Apocalypse [DVD] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Price: £5.35

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars B MOVIE LEGEND!, 17 Nov. 2010
If you meet someone who claims to be a film buff and they don't know who Bruce Campbell is, then they are not a film buff! They are a deluded idiot, and you should cease talking to them immediately. Bruce Campbell is a legend. If you don't agree, then please refer to my original statement. Now, admittedly the "Chinster" has made some bad movies, in fact he has made some terrible movies, but one thing you can bet on is that Bruce will always great in them.

In Alien Apocalypse, Bruce and his companions crash land back on Earth after forty years of floating about in space in hypersleep. When they land back on earth they find that the planet has been taken over by aliens and they are immediately captured and forced to work as slaves. Bruce & Co. manages to escape and hitch up with some freedom fighters, before trying to take back the planet.

The first half of the movie was really enjoyable, but falters when Bruce meets up with the freedom fighters. For Bruce fans this is definitely worth a watch, but new comers might be put off. For them I would recommend the brilliant and hilarious `Man With The Screaming Brain'.

Predators (2010) [DVD]
Predators (2010) [DVD]
Dvd ~ Adrien Brody
Offered by Discs4all
Price: £2.44

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Homage to an 80's Classic, 3 Nov. 2010
This review is from: Predators (2010) [DVD] (DVD)
To be honest if you are a fan of the previous Predator movies, then there is no reason why you won't like 'Predators'. It has everything that the 80's classic has, blood, gore and heavy artillery. The only problem is that it doesn't really encroach on any new ground, we've pretty much seen it all before.

However, it is still a hugely enjoyable, very entertaining action film, and Adrien Brody is excellent in the lead role. Its just a shame that the supportive cast aren't as enigmatic.

But I have to say, it is refreshing to see a decent action movie that isn't worried about its PG-13/12 certificate, and is far superior to the AVP rubbish that Fox have been putting out in recent years.

Iron Man 2 [DVD]
Iron Man 2 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Robert Downey Jr.
Offered by streetsahead
Price: £5.97

7 of 11 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars IT'S BEEN FRANCHISED!, 27 Oct. 2010
This review is from: Iron Man 2 [DVD] (DVD)
When the first Iron Man was being made, I'm guessing that the Paramount executives didn't invest a huge amount of their time checking every little detail of what the Director, Jon Favreau, was up to. I imagine that they kind of left him to get on with it, giving him a relative amount of creative control. Their hopes may have been that the film would earn back its budget, and more so, but they would easily make big profit margins on DVD and Blu-Ray sales.

In a year that gave us Mammoth releases like The Dark Knight and Indiana Jones 4, Iron Man was a huge hit, even out grossing `Indy' at the American box office. So you can only imagine the excitement of the Paramount executives when they were pushing ideas for the inevitable sequel.

Iron Man 2 looks and feels like a film made by committee, a film that has had far too much meddling by talentless executives.

The most offending element is the pointless inclusion of Samuel L. Jackson and Scarlett Johansson as "The Avengers", it is just an annoying distraction from the films plot. In fact I'd go as far to say that their "crowbar" inclusion borders on the criminal. The inclusion of these characters is only done to advertise the fact that Paramount are planning to make an Avengers movie. If you are going to be that derivative, then why not go all the way and have Iron Man save a bunch of kids from a burning McDonald's restaurant, then have a contrived scene where he is thanked by no other than Ronald McDonald? Why not, it's just a movie?

One of the few saving graces was the inclusion of Mickey Rourke, which was one of the things that had me very excited about an Iron Man sequel. Sadly, his talents are completely wasted here. Rourke's character is completely underdeveloped (I suppose we have to give more screen time for Scarlett & Samuel, haven't we Paramount?!). He is a lazily-written, badly conceived villain, whose background story is not even hinted upon.

If this was one hundred per cent Jon Favreau's vision, then he has completely let down his audience, but I get the inkling that Jon may have spent more time in front of a webcam talking with the Paramount Executives, than he did behind the camera.

It's a shame a real shame, because nearly everything that made the first Iron Man has been thrown aside just to make way for another, formulaic, average sequel that these Hollywood idiots turn out by the bin load every year.

Paramount should hang its head in shame, they have ruined what could have been a great franchise. Why not take the route that JJ Abrams has taken? He refused to be bullied by the producers when they wanted to fast track a `Star Trek' sequel. He took his time, and I predict that the next `Star Trek' movie will be amazing. But then again, what do I know? Iron Man 2 made a bucket load of money. So that's ok, isn't it Hollywood?
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 27, 2010 9:55 AM BST

The Terminator [DVD]
The Terminator [DVD]
Dvd ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
Price: £3.00

1 of 13 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars An Entertaining Sci-Fi Movie, 29 Sept. 2010
This review is from: The Terminator [DVD] (DVD)
Certain people would argue that James Cameron's Terminator is arguably his finest film, I personally prefer Aliens, but this one is always worth a watch every now and then.

The Terminator is a tight, to the point and rather clever sci-fi action film. It is a shame that everything James Cameron has done since has been overlong, badly written, badly characterised and seemingly, "Borrowing" plot points from other people's movies (See: Avatar).

The Terminator was James Cameron's first creatively controlled feature which took inspiration from two episodes of the sci-fi TV series, `The Outer Limits', namely `Soldier' and `Demon With a Glass Hand', Which resulted in a pay off by Orion Pictures and later prints of the film having to credit the writer, but credit where credit is due, being influenced by other creative sources is not a crime.

All in all, The Terminator stands up as a classic, small budget sci-fi B'Movie, and still has the power to excite and entertain. Admittedly, Arnold Schwarzenegger's performance didn't require much acting, but he is convincingly terrifying as the title character, with a terrific supporting cast. To be honest, Lance Henrikson, Paul Winfield and Earl Boen shine more than the lead characters.

The film's major flaws are James Cameron's choices of lead actors. The likes of Michael Biehn, Linda Hamilton and Sam Worthington are either simply "not great" actors or, as in Sam Worthington's case, lacking onscreen presence. Cameron has far more success with his supporting actors, the choice of Lance Henrikson in `Aliens' or Stephen Lang in `Avatar' are worthy of merit. (I can't really acknowledge his use of Sigourney Weaver in `Aliens' as she was Ridley Scott's inspired choice).

An inevitable sequel followed, and although grander and more explosive, it doesn't quite match the original.

Avatar: Limited Edition Steelbook [Blu-ray]
Avatar: Limited Edition Steelbook [Blu-ray]
Dvd ~ Sam Worthington
Offered by rsdvd
Price: £11.99

16 of 35 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Boring Snooze Fest!, 31 Mar. 2010
Now, I know a lot of people are going to tell me that I should have watched it in 3D to get the full experience, and I really wish I had, because then I may not have fallen asleep half hour before the end.

2D or 3D, it doesn't matter, this film should stand up as movie in it's own right, no matter how many special-effects it claims to have. Otherwise you have just spent 300 million dollars on making a pretty movie with absolutely no substance. And that is exactly what we have here.

I shall start with the special effects. The hanger sets remind me of the sets from `Aliens', giving the military aspects of this film a dated 80's feel. I would have thought James Cameron would have been a little bit more imaginative than to just to dig out the old sets from his garage, but then perhaps he was simply paying respect to `ALIENS', a film that most people consider one of his greatest movies.

The biggest problem with `Avatar' is with the script. It is overlong, filled with cinematic cliches and bad exposition. For example; in one scene an actor holds up a piece of "Unobtanium" and then explains to Sigourney Weaver's character, exactly what "Unobtanium" actually is, why they mining it, and how much it costs. Rule 101 of screenwriting; never explain a films plot by telling another character something that they already know. It is extreme laziness on Cameron's part and comes off stinking like an amateur screenplay.

As the film progresses, we travel onto the magical world of Pandora, or Panboring, as I like to call it. This is where the film starts to resemble a Pixar movie, (I half expected Woody and Buzz to come flying round the next corner).

The second act of the movie spends its entire time offering us dull, boring contrived shots that are simply designed to show off the 3D capabilities. So we have lots of scenes of blue alien faces looking at funny insects and pretty trees. However, the most frustrating thing about this section of the film is its painfully slow pace, which is made even worse by the bad dialogue and complete lack of charisma of the lead actors. Many other reviewers have mentioned that there are certain scenes lifted straight out of 'Dances With Wolves', and I have to say, the scene where 'Blue Sam Worthington' falls off the Alien horse-thing, rang a lot of bells. It suggested that I had seen this all before, albeit with Kevin Costner in a cowboy hat.

As for characterisation, well it's virtually non-existent. For instance, the main bad guy in this movie is a simple two-dimensional mechanism. Cameron decided to pass on the usual efforts that are needed to set up a convincing villain, and instead simply opted to having him blurt out racist things, like: "Lets blow these blue aliens of the face of their planet". Watching 'Die Hard' recently, I realised how much effort the writer went into creating a worthwhile adversary like Hans Gruber. I love his character, but at the same time I can't wait for John McClane to shoot him off the top of that building. Why? Because the writer spent a lot of time setting up the character of Hans, the quick witted exchange in the elevator about his expensive suits is just one example of the many "little exchanges" that the screenwriter planted to create an interesting three-dimensional character.

Don't get me wrong, I adore Hollywood blockbusters like `Raiders of The Lost Ark', `Star Wars', `Back To The Future', `The Matrix', 'Hellboy', and 'Batman'. I am not some kind of 'movie snob'. It's just that this movie is lazy, from beginning to end. A film that is far more focused on its special-effects than its actual storytelling. An overly long ego-trip from a deluded director who believes far too much in his own press. A press that states the most succesful movie ever made, is surely the greatest movie ever made, and if you believe that, then you know absolutely nothing about cinema.
Comment Comments (35) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 12, 2014 10:54 PM BST

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (1-Disc) [DVD]
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (1-Disc) [DVD]
Dvd ~ Shia LaBeouf
Price: £2.50

6 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Michael Bay Makes Things Blow Up...Again!, 2 Dec. 2009
Lots of crashing, banging, and explosions. Lot's of Meagan Fox in hot pants done up to look like a street walker. Lots of cringeworthy attempts at humanising the transformers by having them dance and crack bad jokes. This is appallingly strung together by a Macguffin (See: Alfred Hitchcock) that even George Lucas would be embarrassed to pursue.
All in all a perfect movie for underdeveloped teenage boys or people with an IQ of around 60.

On the plus side Meagan Fox does wear hot pants!
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jul 24, 2012 10:22 PM BST

Sneezer Beam - Hayfever treatment
Sneezer Beam - Hayfever treatment
Offered by J D Harris
Price: £19.55

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Relief at Last, 1 Jun. 2009
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
We all know the misery of hayfever, so I won't sit here and list my symptoms. Quite simply this time of year just makes you want to stay indoors and hide from the glorious weather.

Well, I decided to give this bizzare invention a go after seeing one similar advertised on 'This Morning'. I am very glad I did. After going to a family barbecue, I came home suffering from a stuffed up, fuzzy head and blocked sinuses for two days, when this contraption arrived in the post.

I didn't hesitate poking those probes up my stuffy nose. Three minutes later, my nose immediately became very runny, shifting all the congestion from my sinuses, allowing me to breath properly for the first time in two days. My head also felt clear. I was so impressed and elated that I took my dog for a walk across the fields breathing confidently through my nose.

Although I still suffer the itchy eyes and stuffy nose, when coming in from a day out in the sun. A quick blast and this invention goes a long way to alleviate the symptoms of hayfever.

By no means is it a miracle cure all, but anyone who suffers with the itchy blocked nasal passages like myself should find that this reduces the inflamation and itchyness, making your summer bearable.

I only hope this works as well for you as it did for me.

Years of Refusal (Special Edition CD+DVD)
Years of Refusal (Special Edition CD+DVD)
Offered by GMFT
Price: £7.95

7 of 15 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT SO GOOD, 18 Feb. 2009
I'm sorry to say that I am not enamored with Morrissey's latest effort. I was hoping that this would be an improvement on 'Ringleader' as I found that album rather disappointing. It lacked the lush melodies and brilliant lyrics that filled the comeback album 'You are the Quarry'. I think that the lack of melody is 'Years of Refusal's' major problem. It tends to opt for for heavy chugging guitars, with barely a chord change, rather than the excellent melodies that dominate his earlier work.

The best songs are the two co-written with Alain White, 'It's Not Your Birthday Anymore' & 'You Were Good In Your Time' The second track being rather apt.

I have to say I adore Morrissey and I love nearly everything he's ever done, I always thought 'Southpaw' was an excellent album, even the flawed 'Maladjusted' has some great songs. But 'Years of Refusal' remains his worst album to date, and placing it behind 'Kill Uncle' is really saying something.

If you loved 'Ringleader' then maybe this album is for you. But for all those fans that get misty eyed at 'Vauxhall & I' and loved his 'Quarry' comeback, then I'm afraid you will be severely disappointed.

Eden Lake [DVD]
Eden Lake [DVD]
Dvd ~ Michael Fassbender
Offered by HarriBella.UK.Ltd
Price: £3.08

7 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars ANOTHER DUFF BRITISH FILM, 30 Jan. 2009
This review is from: Eden Lake [DVD] (DVD)
In short I thought this film was a boring retread of an overused Hollywood genre.

It starts off with a very simple story line of two people going for a camping holiday and being set upon by the "Yokels" (Hoodies in this case). The problem is it fails to develop beyond anything more than people running through the woods, with a load of violence thrown in for good measure. You will spend the early part of the movie saying to yourself, "Well I wouldn't have done that! I wouldn't have gone there!"
I found all the characters, even the supposed heroes, void of any redeeming qualities or characterization, and in the end I felt that the lead characters got what they deserved.

This film is rather horrific but completely fails to add any tension, excitement or fear. The violence is plainly there to sensationalize. It embarrassingly tries to come across all cutting edge with the obvious use of the inbred Hoodies as the villains , recording their vicious crimes on a mobile as they go.

The director quite obviously wants to shock you, and wants you to go away with the feeling like you've had a very bad experience. I get what he was trying to do. I just wish he was a little more inventive and less sensationalistic.

The American Film Industry is forever being clever and inventive while at the same time being commercial. It shows us just how great the Americans are at making movies, and how low the British Film Industry can go.
Comment Comments (7) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 6, 2009 11:07 PM BST

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