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Profile for smreynard > Reviews

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Content by smreynard
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Safe House
Safe House
Price: £1.89

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not what I expected, 9 Feb. 2013
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This review is from: Safe House (Kindle Edition)
I was very disappointed with this book. I disagree with reviewers who say it is fast paced, I thought it dragged on and found it hard to keep interested in the plot. It is also strange to have the main character's story told in the 1st person and all the rest in the 3rd person, that made it even more muddled. I had never heard of the author and assumed, as it was a cheap book, that it had been uploaded by an amateur, so I was amazed to find out that he is actually a published writer! There is hope for all of us aspiring writers if he can find a publisher and agent. My creative writing class would tear apart this description of a hotel lobby from the book:

"The walls were done out in half-timber cladding. There were multiple flower displays. Countless lamps. A lot of artwork and sculpture. The lobby was filled with people".

How are we supposed to imagine this? It's very poor descriptive writing. I won't bother reading any of his other books, I can't enjoy reading when I'm constantly finding fault with the writing.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 29, 2013 1:30 PM BST

River of Destiny
River of Destiny
Price: £3.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Please stop using the word "round" to excess!, 2 Aug. 2012
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This review is from: River of Destiny (Kindle Edition)
I have read every single one of Barbara Erskine's books. I like the way she combines past and present story lines and usually enjoy them very much. In particular, her earlier novels such as Lady of Hay, Child of the Phoenix and Kingdom of Shadows were exceptionally well written.
However, I think she is maybe running out of plot ideas as her last two books, Time's Legacy and this one haven't been up to her usual standard, both in content and quality of the writing. The characters weren't particularly likeable and the plot was predictable and wasn't gripping enough.
As a writer myself, I tend to pick up on badly written sentences and this interferes with my enjoyment of the book. I hadn't noticed this in her previous books but in the last two books she has overused the word "round" to an annoying extent. Apart from the fact that in most cases the word "around" is more grammatically correct, its use is often unnecessary. "He looked round the room" followed by a description of the room. Or it is used incorrectly as in "She looked round" (like a ball?). It's the sheer number of times the word is repeated that really spoils the flow. I am amazed that this was not picked up by the editors. The word appears at least twice on every Kindle-size page, sometimes four times per page! There are also instances where the word is used twice in a short paragraph. Once you have noticed this, it spoils the reading of the story.
I hope that someone brings this to Barbara's attention so that she can avoid this problem in future novels.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 2, 2012 1:51 AM BST

RUN, RUN, RUN (crime thriller)
RUN, RUN, RUN (crime thriller)
Price: £2.99

2.0 out of 5 stars Needs editing!, 9 Mar. 2012
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I thought this sounded like it could be a good read but I was disappointed. There are a lot of continuity errors, such as on one page saying the pregnant wife has low blood pressure and on the next page referring to her having high blood pressure!
Also, there is no way the paramedics would have had her pushing at only 5cm dilated!
But the most glaring hole in the plot was near the end, when the villain and the new mother and baby escape from an ambulance in the middle of nowhere and magically transport themselves several miles - in what?
I am writing two novels myself and the logistics are part of good plotting. You can't just leave characters to fly through thin air and appear somewhere else without explantion!

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