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Minette Walters - The Dark Room [1999]
Minette Walters - The Dark Room [1999]
Dvd ~ Dervla Kirwan
Offered by HarriBella.UK.Ltd
Price: 10.00

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Tedious, 29 Jun 2014
Long, drawn-out, tedious and uninteresting. There is very little more I can add to this review because I can't really find anything positive to say. About as entertaining as watching paint dry. The story is feeble and can be told in one episode with ease, yet it is drawn out over three tedious hours to make a 'boxed set'.


Moulin Rouge [2001] [DVD]
Moulin Rouge [2001] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Nicole Kidman
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: 3.00

1 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Unwatchable!, 2 Mar 2014
This review is from: Moulin Rouge [2001] [DVD] (DVD)
It's just a hotch-potch of ripped-off songs, anachronistic to the period it's supposed to be set in, interspersed with continually changing shots from close up angles that are enough to turn anyone sick. It is a bit like an alcohol-fueled nightmare only worse because it's in full colour. Some of the numbers are good, but poorly sung - a bit like 'Mamma Mia!' when you're cringing while Pierce Brosnan attempt to croon a tune that is higher than his register allows. That said, I am truly at a loss to understand why this film is so popular. I thought Kidman was Minogue when she first appeared. A horrible film I will do my best to avoid in the future.


Atlantis [DVD]
Atlantis [DVD]
Dvd ~ Jack Donnelly
Offered by themediamerchants
Price: 9.95

4 of 14 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Back To The 80's!, 20 Nov 2013
This review is from: Atlantis [DVD] (DVD)
'Atlantis' is a new show, that attempts to fuse Greek myth, classical history and TV drama adventure into watchable entertainment.

The plots are simplistic and naive, remeniscent of the innocent, two-dimensional storylines of 80s TV shows such as 'The A-Team' and the original TV series 'Battlestar Galactica', seemingly unwilling to overload us, the audience, with anything too taxing than the blatantly obvious. Goodies are goodies; baddies are baddies - black hats and white hats. The goodies are purely benign; the baddies plotting predictably. Let's have an example, shall we? Jason arrives in a hidden land under the sea - Atlantis - and seems amazingly unperturbed by the experience. He gets chased by soldiers and arrives at the house of Pythagoras, who immediately invites this stranger to stay with him. Would you? Then there's the characterisation of characters we already know well from Greek mythology or history, butchered and bastardised to fit in with the plot for the TV show - never mind history or classical civilisation, as long as TV viewers are satisfied! Jason is, well, yeas, handsome, but pretty bland, Pythagoras is a weedy blond streak of you know what and Hercules (yep, he's there too) is depicted as a fat, lazy bloke with an eye for the ladies and a desire to slip Medusa a length. Yes, that Medusa, and we all know what is going to happen to her, don't we? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. At least none of them is American, or not obviously so! This trio of 'blokes' becomes an unlikely band of friends and the main characters at the centre of all the adventures.

'Atlantis' is not a bad show, but it isn't a particularly good one either. It's watchable as a bit of light entertainment if nothing else is on, I can take it or leave it, as it is so unmemorable. So much more could have been done with it in terms of plot, unless it was written to be uncomplicated, but then again, we have all moved on from our expectations of the kind of shows the 80s had to offer, so we expect more, when maybe we shouldn't.

Just another Ultimate Review from everyone's favourite Ultimate Reviewer!


Homeland - Season 3 [DVD]
Homeland - Season 3 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Damian Lewis
Price: 23.50

24 of 86 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Review of Episodes 1 to 5, 7 Oct 2013
This review is from: Homeland - Season 3 [DVD] (DVD)
Oh well done! Season 3's first episode recaptures the intrigue and the suspense of the first series, that unfortunately went a little haywire in the latter part of season 2. I really hope the writers are back in the driving seat because on the basis of this first episode, we are in for 12 weeks of very interesting television. Various plot strings have been initiated and Brody has yet to make a ginger-haired appearance, although we did see a Brody clone rogering our heroine. Loose morals? Or in the vernacular - 'slapper', but let's see what 'comes' of that, eh? Having said that...bit of a tear in the fiber of the plot there - an agent with an almost Aspergersly acute sense of spycraft can't see a ginger bloke who looks like Brody might be up to some subversion and /scene cut/ to her banging him on the stairs? Someone has dropped the ball here - come on writers - that's way too obvious for the character you've created. I hope you're going to see this series out with some convincing intrigue, or else, I'll be ranting in my updates to this review! I expect a LOT! DELIVER!

Just another Ultimate Review by everyone's favourite Ultimate Reviewer!

Edit after viewing episode 2. 14/10/13

Oh dear! It has already started to get silly with plot turns that make little sense. There are only so many times you can lock Kerry up in a nuthouse and bring her back as a player in the CIA, which is what I am assuming we have in store. I can already feel this series going the way of so many others with twists and turns that are meant to be clever and hold viewers' attention, but just serve, in reality, to create a weak story arc. There need to be good reasons behind what is happening - believable reasons. For example, we see at the end of this episode that the daughter is showing signs of following in her father's footsteps. Why? I hope they can pull this together because I am starting to see a really good show going down the pan. I'll hold off on adjusting my rating for this show, on this review, for a week or two, to see which direction we are going in.

Just another edited review by everyone's favourite Ultimate Reviewer.

Edit after viewing episode 3. 23/10/13

I know! I know! I'm late writing this review of episode 3, considering it was broadcast on Sunday. I know some of you are just dying to know what your favourite reviewer makes of the series so far, so I will keep you in suspense no longer. I apologise for the delay, but you see, I was so uninspired by episode 3 that the days just went by and I...well, enough about me! This was a one slow moving, and storywise (assuming there is a story in this series somewhere waiting to make itself known), a throw-away piece. Finally Brody is back on the scene, although to be honest, I really didn't miss him! And yes, he is now bald. By some amazing coincidence he has been picked up by a militia group that has ties to Carrie and that is based in a ghetto in a half-finished tower block in Caracas. He has been shot and is patched up by the group. There is a lot of running up and down stairs in this skeletal structure, making it seem like Donkey Kong come to life! The other 'half' of the episode is just about Carrie acting all weird and psycho, gurning and crying, which has pretty much become her trademark. I'm finding it a little tiresome now, when I expected so much more, having been impressed by the first episode. I read that the go-ahead has been given for a Season 4 to be filmed. I suspect this series is suffering from what many other series suffer from, in that a complete story arc for the entire story has not been set from the beginning. Do one series, and if that works, do another, but in each the writers are basically winging it, and trying to weave new, interesting plot twists into each, without really knowing where the story is supposed to be going. 'Prison Break' is an example of this. Whatever 'Homeland' created in series one, it seems to have lost somewhere in series 2, and going by what I have seen so far, is unlikely to rediscover in series 3. I hope I am wrong!

Just another edit by everyone's favourite, Ultimate Reviewer!

Edit after viewing episode 4, 2/11/13

OK, 4 episodes in, number 5 tomorrow and the whole show is now number 2! What we have here is a great show gone bad. Carrie's face like a slapped arse dowsed in tears is becoming a frightful bore, don't you know! What's the story with F. Murray Abrams and his role? I have a lot of respect for him, by the way, but have been disappointed with his role in 'Homeland' mainly because he doesn't seem to have one, save standing around, looking old with a beard, making vaguely cryptic comments, to complement Saul, no doubt, who stands around looking old with a beard too. Oh, and there's a Muslim girl rooting through bank records. That is pretty much it for plot.

I can't help feeling that the show might be running on a far lower budget than before, because for what little action there is, it could easily be shot on a cardboard set like a 70s TV drama. At least they saw the necessity for good dialogue; what we are getting in 'Homeland' is lame, but that's OK because I am not seeing much in the way of acting abilities, and as for the ever-pouting daughter, she has the acting abilities of a stuffed bear. So her sub-plot is really doing nothing for me. Is it meant as filler to help drag the season out into the full 12 episodes with no real story? They seem to be taking so much time to tell so little, so I'm guessing this is part of the reason for the pointless sub-plots. I'm both bored and disappointed with this show now.

Where did 'Homeland' begin to lose its momentum? Just where did it crest the hill and start its rapid descent into mediocrity? I believe it was at the point when Brody was broken and confessed in season 2. The idea that Brody had been turned and was a terrorist about to commit a terrible act was the whole point of the story. The possibility that he might, or he might not, was what created the tension that made 'Homeland' unmissable. Once that no longer existed, the plot no longer worked and the story had to be altered to try and keep up with the high standard already set. Maybe some stories are only meant to run for one, possibly two seasons, and then end in a blaze of glory. What is this need to keep them dragging on, trying to spin stories out of plots that are already dead?

I see a 4th season has been given the go-ahead. I wish they wouldn't! I'd be surprised 'Homeland' would have enjoyed anything like the following it has had, had the first series been anything like the rubbish we are being offered from this franchise now. I think the money would be better spent providing an ending to far better series like 'The 4400' rather than wasted on this rapidly ageing haz-been. I'd rather watch TOWIE than this trash! I think its time to alter my initial star rating to a more apt one.

Just another...well, you know the drill now - I don't need to say it every time...do I?

Edit after viewing episode 5, 7/11/13

Well, by now, the format of this travesty seems to be set in stone. Episode 5 sees not one, but three females crying and wailing. The main plot, such as it is, is painfully slow, and what little action there is over the last 4 episodes could easily have been covered in just one. The plot, such as it is, has become very disjointed, and the sub-plots, such as the daughter running off with a psycho and coming home again unscathed, are merely there for filler. What point did it make? What purpose did it serve? Who is writing this trash? What started out as an unmissable thriller has quickly become less than mediocre entertainment. I very much doubt that 'Homeland' would have had anything like the following it has, had the first series been as dull and impotent as the third. 'Homeland' is one of the most disappointing thrillers out there because it offered so much to begin with, but now offers so little by comparison. A fourth season is being commissioned. Unbelievable!

Just another Ultimate edit.
Comment Comments (7) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 8, 2013 10:36 AM GMT


Big School - Series 1 [DVD]
Big School - Series 1 [DVD]
Dvd ~ David Walliams
Price: 10.03

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Enjoyable, 30 Sep 2013
This review is from: Big School - Series 1 [DVD] (DVD)
A superb comedy that draws on both the acting abilities of the cast and also their ability to deliver comedy. I suppose it could be seen as a spoof on 'Waterloo Road' or a rival to 'Bad Education', with which it shares the concept of surreal characters: the former assistant head in 'Big Education' being somewhat similar to the one in 'Big School'. But anyway, this is cool comedy, not new as comedy by any means, but comedy all the same.

Just another review by everyone's favourite 'Ultimate Reviewer'!


Homeland - Season 1-3 [Blu-ray]
Homeland - Season 1-3 [Blu-ray]
Dvd ~ Damian Lewis
Price: 45.75

5 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Homeland 1-3, 4 Sep 2013
This is a good set because it includes series 1-3 in a box and it's on Blueray. What more could one want?
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 8, 2013 6:07 PM GMT


A Sound of Thunder [DVD]
A Sound of Thunder [DVD]
Dvd ~ Edward Burns

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The BEST ever!, 25 July 2013
This review is from: A Sound of Thunder [DVD] (DVD)
I just watched this cult movie for the first time and I am so inspired to write an Ultimate Review of it! It just has to be. And it's a 5-star rigt off the bat, no questions asked, yowza!

This must be the best time-travel, cause and effect movie ever produced. It is fascinating, fast-moving, scientifically thought-provoking and just overeall well done. Special effects are second-to-none and even for a movie that is going on for its 10th birthday, it still holds its own amongst anything today can offer, and that includes 'Bored Of The Rings' and 'Star Trek' with people you've never seen before trying to be Kirk, Spock and Servelan.

The premise is simple - change one tiny thing in the past and it can impact on everything.

Thankfully, we didn't have to endure long, drawn-out pseudo sex scenes just for the sake of them. This is story and just story, as films used to be, and as they should be again. I think a bit of time travel would shoe some of our modern-day film-makers just what a good movie should be and consist of, and you wouldn't need to risk crushing any butterflies and altering the course of causality to do so. Just go and watch the old stuff!

Effects were excellently done. I particularly liked the farting gorilla-pig-lizard-bat-dogs. Someone was 'avin' a larf when he dreamed those up, but they work within the context of the genre and the story.

The coolest bit must be when the final time wave hits and the snotty English woman is turned into a kind of fish-humanoid thing with side-closing eyelids. It's interesting to see what people think we might have looked like had evolution taken a different turn.

Don't be put off by negative reviews. This is the best sci-fi flick ever made.

Just another Ultimate Review by everyone's favourite Ultimate Reviewer.


Flightplan [DVD] [2006]
Flightplan [DVD] [2006]
Dvd ~ Jodie Foster
Offered by gowingsstoreltd
Price: 2.75

3.0 out of 5 stars Panic Room On A Plane, 23 July 2013
This review is from: Flightplan [DVD] [2006] (DVD)
If you've seen 'Panic Room', which is basically Jodie Foster running around screaming her child's name hysterically while single-handedly taking on a group of vicious villains, then you've pretty much seen this. It isn't a bad film, and Sean Bean turns out not to be a baddie for once, but the concept is just far too much like 'the other' film to be a particularly good one. Cool plane though!

Short and sweet (like Jodie) this time from Ultimate Reviewer, but nevertheless insightful!


The White Queen [DVD]
The White Queen [DVD]
Dvd ~ Rebecca Ferguson
Offered by RAREWAVES
Price: 11.68

4 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Rebecca Ferguson is Fit!, 15 July 2013
This review is from: The White Queen [DVD] (DVD)
Set during the English Civil War, between William of Normandy and Polpot of Spain, 'The White Queen' is a futuristic fighting-fantasy adventure which takes place in the post-apocalyptic Star Wars universe of J.K. Tolkein's 'The Simpsons'. Doh!

All joking aside, although I have only seen the five episodes, am inspired enough to be able to write a positive review of this excellent new show. I have been disappointed with a lot of the Beeb's offerings of late, but it's nice to see they can still churn out a good bit o'drama now and again. I'm giving it 4 stars for now, and we'll see how it goes because it still has the chance to disappoint, but also to please even more. I'll adjust stars accordingly if necessary as the show progresses.

First of all, I have to say that I am not aware of the history of the Wars of the Roses beyond the fact that they were fought between the houses of Lancaster and York, let alone that there was such intrigue going on between women involved at the time, so I can't comment on how much of the story is based on genuine historical fact, and how much is just story. What I can say is that I am enjoying each episode and eagerly awaiting the next one.

From the trailers and the new rendition of an unusual old pop song that I like, I had expected 'The White Queen' to be more of a fantasy-fiction love story kind of thing, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was a well-acted adult-orientated drama based on a period of history. Acting is fine, and themes also, are adult ones. It does, however, retain the elements of fiction that make it an intriguing story - the love affair, the bit of 'magic', the heroes, the deception and the 'baddie' you just can't wait to see meet a fateful ending. He did in the last episode, so I don't know where it's going to go from there.

Negative points so far include: the battle scenes are scarce, which is strange considering how much reference is made to them, and the fact that this story is set during the Wars of the Roses. 'Wars' suggests battles, but the most we get to see of these battles tends to be the talk before and after them, as you might expect from a theatre production where massed battle scenes are obviously impossible. Granted there was more battle scene that usual in the 5th episode but I doubt there were more than 50 combatants trying to convince us a huge battle was afoot. This would have been impressive on a stage, but with modern technology, could they not have tried to populate the battlefield with a few more soldiers?

And where is that song in the actual program? I haven't heard it yet.

This review is dessicated to M. Cunliffe, who, having taken interest in my reviewing style, and even gave me the initial impetus to write this review, deserves a quick mention.

This has been another Ultimate Review by everyone's favourite Ultimate Reviewer.
Comment Comments (10) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 20, 2013 6:15 PM BST


The Cuckoo's Calling (Cormoran Strike)
The Cuckoo's Calling (Cormoran Strike)
by Robert Galbraith
Edition: Hardcover
Price: 14.95

5 of 65 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars It's by J.K. Rowling! It's by J.K. Rowling!..., 15 July 2013
As well as joining in the fun of posting a 5-star review when I haven't actually read the book, I also wanted to be the first one to tell the world that this book is by J.K. Rowling, just like all the other excited posters who have been the first to break the revelation that Robert Galbraith is, indeed, J.K. Rowling, even though it has been plastered all over the news! It's OK now, folks, you can calm down. We know this book is by J.K. Rowling! I'm not surprised she'd want to write under a pseudonym after that 'The Casual Vacancy' hiccup! I think if the illustrious J.K. Rowling wants to try writing in other genres, she should definitely pen a book on how to promote one's work for massive publicity and landslide-sales. Kerching! Kerching!

Disclaimer: This is not an 'Ultimate Review' but merely sarcastic comment. Thanks for reading.


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