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mister joe "your mum" (Herts)

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Born to Die
Born to Die
Price: 8.90

12 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FEMME FATALE, 1 Feb 2012
This review is from: Born to Die (Audio CD)
Authenticity.A horrid term,a misunderstood term.I mean do people really think all the hip hop stars were really selling drugs on the sidewalk before a platinum selling music career?Hmmmmm....Mainstream culture positively trades in projected fictions.David Bowie before being from mars was singing jaunty songs about laughing gnomes,Bob Dylan created his own mythology....all the best performers have a history.
So we have the beautifully imagined Lana Del Rey,a rich daddys girl,former incarnations,possible surgery....and a truly stunning voice.And an enigma in a day and age where any bit of mystery in music has all been saturated by tweeting,facebooking and youtubing.
In all honesty i do not want to see my pop stars buying a loaf of bread in their trackies.I want them far away.
Lana as all the best artists firmly splits audiences down the middle,no room for impartial mediocrity.But ultimately she is having the last laugh,obviously Del Ray is a shrewd,astute woman and i imagine the rants of spotty,unattractive haters flows like the proverbial water off a ducks back.As long as people are talking hey,all publicity is good publicity.The haters by taking note effectively strengthen her marketing.
Born To Die is one sexy,seductive album taking in faded Hollywood glamour,sad tragic doomed romance,rich girls being bad.Aesthetically perfect,produced with lush,panoramic sound.Lana Del Rey is an actress in her own movie.
Lana is every boys dream or nightmare,presenting herself as a blank canvas.I am totally in love with the woman.Deeply sexy.Her voice veers from incredible vulnerability to total femme fatale strength.
Born To Die,Video Games,National Anthem are great tunes on a great album.A perfectly concieved statement.
Fact or fiction who cares?Who wants to be themselves nowadays anyway?
And what a joy to see an edgy album at number one rather then Adele?
Lana Del Rey.Born to do it.
Comment Comments (12) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 10, 2012 2:03 PM BST


Drive [DVD]
Drive [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ryan Gosling
Price: 3.00

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars NO GOOD SHARKS, 31 Jan 2012
This review is from: Drive [DVD] (DVD)
It is very nice to see a few derisive reviews in an otherwise sea of 5 stars.However i am afraid mine is another thumbs up jobbie.Purely on a technical level Drive deserves 5 stars,the look of the film and lighting is simply lush.To anyone in the know there is a lot of similarities to Walter Hills The Driver and the godlike Two Lane Backdrop.Plus a palpable reverence to Micheal Mann's Thief.
To be honest a modern film referencing these is not a problem at all in my humble opinion.Far more this then the constant sausage factory recurgitation of every conceivable horror movie or slasher.
Ryan Gosling is a matchstick in the mouth,sullen quiet stuntman who also has a sideline in driving getaway cars.
I suppose you would say he's an existentialist action hero,though i doubt very much Goslings character knows or even thinks about this rather complex thought.No....he's far too busy,catatonic in thought,being cool and stuff.
Theres a few gangsters,jobs gone wrong and a broad to protect all told in a dayglo version of noir,i would say "neo noir" if i knew exactly what this term meant.
Drive tells its haiku style story in images rather then words,a style i like and which is constantly taught by script writer teachers in seminars "show...don't tell".
The romance in the movie is never quite fulfilled,always the best way and through this there is a very nice longing,yearning portrayed on screen.Rather nice.
The violence is beautiful in a sort of splurting,colourful way and there are a few very iconic in the making shots.
I especially liked when Gosling was wearing a latex mask.
I did wonder if Gosling was the right man for the job,a silent character demands a gravitas.In the earlier part of the film he kind of has a constipated smirk which i believe wasn't the intention.But when the film froths Gosling does a good job.No one will however top the pure laconic coolness of Dennis Wilson in Two Lane Blacktop in my mind.
The soundtrack to this movie is perfect.All in all a strong Hollywood movie with a good heart and ambition.
Beautifully composed,cool as a cucumber.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 13, 2012 5:27 PM GMT


Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] [1982]
Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] [1982]
Dvd ~ Harrison Ford
Price: 3.49

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BLUSH RESPONSE, 25 Jan 2012
Mr.Scott WE ARE NOT WORTHY.I will make you coffee,light your cigars,wash your plates and scrub your kitchen floor.
Free of charge.Blade Runner is awesome for everything it is and everything it is not.
I did not want this film to end and this was about the 859th time i have watched it.NEVER have i seen such a profound,stylish,classy,poetic movie as this.Well apart from Alien.
It is just the perfect film,the work of a visionary director.Blade Runner simply has not dated.The soundtrack is awesome,the script is awesome,Rutger my dear is beyond awesome.
No need to watch anymore movies or even write reviews.
Blade Runner,the holy grail....best movie of all time.FACT.
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 28, 2012 11:51 PM BST


The Butterfly Effect - Director's Cut [DVD]
The Butterfly Effect - Director's Cut [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ashton Kutcher
Offered by DVD Overstocks
Price: 3.40

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, 15 Jan 2012
The Butterfly Effect most certainly caught me off guard,here i was replete with snobbish indifference{it stars Ashton Demi Kutcher} expecting some moronic supernatural bag of air but instead viewed a thematically profound,expertly written close to masterpiece movie.Gosh.
I am not going to pontificate about the meaning of the butterfly effect,i will leave that to the rather more elequoent reviewers.The conceit of this movie of one's place and actions in life is ingenious,exploring different ways in which events can transpire thus almost giving the viewer 3 films in one.Hey....i am always up for a bargain in these times of debt.
This is one of those rarities of a Hollwood movie with admirable motivations,a story that aims for the heart rather then the wallet.Definetly an example of a studio taking a risk,film makers being brave....
There is a real tangible emotional landscape to this movie,the actors are top notch veering physically,emotionally through different realities.Issue wise you have incest,abuse,regret,love,hate...beautifully poignant stuff that we go through as people.Stuff we live,stuff we suffer...you know stuff...baggage.
Butterfly Effect is pardon the cliche a rollercoaster of a movie and if you have not viewed it get in,ponder.
Beautiful,thought provoking mainstream cinema.
How often can you say that?
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 28, 2012 11:30 PM BST


Tron Legacy [DVD]
Tron Legacy [DVD]
Dvd ~ Michael Sheen
Price: 3.00

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DDDDDUUUDE....., 10 Jan 2012
This review is from: Tron Legacy [DVD] (DVD)
When i heard a Tron sequel was being made i wet my pants and cried.Continously for 3 days.Life's depressions we're lifted instantly,i actually smiled a couple of times.I had seen the light.
This is a gigantic monster of a movie.The BEST FILM OF 2011 for a few pertinent reasons....
1.Tron is the coolest movie of all time,thus Tron Legacy is the second coolest movie of all time
2.Legacy is a visual triumph,battering your brain to mush with spectacular set pieces,bikes spinning mid air,the coolest landscape since...well Tron..or Blade Runner.This is a cyber punk Matrix ting.
The design of this movie is purely awe inspiring.
3.Daft Punk provide a BANGING soundtrack.
4.Dude....Jeff Bridges is in it.
5.To the haters....stop moaning.Nothing will ever bring you even a modicum of happiness,let alone satisfaction whether this be free pies or a no strings date with the goddess that is Kelly Brook.I am stereotyping dreadfully here as i assume only males love Tron.
6.The movie rocks like Keith Moon on drums,Hendrix on lead,that short bloke singer from Level 42 on bass,Gary Numan on synths and Freddie Mercury on vocals.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 18, 2012 12:04 AM GMT


Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Dvd ~ Emma Bell
Offered by DVD Overstocks
Price: 10.37

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED, 9 Jan 2012
Blimey Final Destination seems to be the ultimate in a franchise that refuses to die,will not die,cannot die.
The conceit of the movie could go on for 30 or so sequels.I think they should make a tv series as well as a Final Destination theme park where you pay to board rickety,wobbling rollercoasters or big wheels where the cable snaps and you and your cousins are trapped in a freefalling boxcar.How about cups and saucers that spin off track throwing you into a burning bus.I think its a great idea,death simply HAS to be the biggest buzz.
The younger crowd love these movies.This is the only movie i have seen that kept my 15 year old cousin and 18 year old sister in law from not texting,tweeting,twatting,facebooking,goggling on their phones.
I enjoyed it as well watching the fresh faced,square jawed cast alternately step onto screws,get their blue retinas scorched or beautifully impaled.
A Hollywood movie where the majority of the good looking cast are placed in comical peril and life threatening accidents automatically receives 5 stars.Final Destination 5 is a perfect,lobotomised,pop corn munching,brain rot movie.Long may the series run!
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 21, 2012 3:24 PM GMT


John Carpenter's The Thing [DVD] [1982]
John Carpenter's The Thing [DVD] [1982]
Dvd ~ Kurt Russell
Price: 5.00

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FIRST THING FIRST, 9 Jan 2012
WOW.Believe it or not i had never seen The Thing until tonight.What an awesome movie.Bleak,gooey,paranoid...fantastic.Something that is truly shocking apart from not having seen it till now is the original critical savaging it recieved on it's original release.Everyone from the New York Times to Roger Egbert mauling the movie.Obviously these critics have revised their kneejerk opinions now but lordy lord...cast iron proof of the inherent idiocy,snobby,irrelevant agendas of critics.
I have even read a quote by John Carpenter saying how the failure of the movie hit him hard,even the director of the 50's Thing was dissing him along with supposed "sci fi" fans.Shocking.This is a perfect piece of genre movie making,also as with the best horror or sci fi movies you can apply metaphor to The Thing whether this be about disease or lack of trust between humans.
One can only assume that in 1982 there was only room for one alien,this being E.T.Sometimes films no matter how good just don't hit the jackpot.It could something as moronic as a title..."what's this thing The Thing?"
Maybe a film sent in the artic with a bunch of beardy men living in close quarters doesn't have that summertime box office appeal.Or as an audience we are totally redundant,ignorant.
Get this The Thing opened at the same time as Blade Runner.....gore blimey talk about double dribble!These two movies ON RELEASE we're treated awfully.Bloomin Spielberg hey!
The special effects in The Thing are truly special,i did wrench a couple of times.Amazing stuff.The work that went into this movie shows,definetly a labour of love.The Thing is awesome and easily settles its slimey bottom in my top five movies of all time.That John Carpenter for even a NANO SECOND thought this was any type of failure is a travesty.As the film has since flourished in the home market and gained considerable status Carpenter hopefully feels what he should always have felt HE WAS RIGHT.Yeah Carpenter made a few stinkies but....HALLOWEEN,ASSAULT ON...,THE FOG,ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK,BIG TROUBLE...GENIUS.Sod Coppola give me Carpenter any day.Guy is a god.
All in all i think you can gather i rather liked The Thing.I am going to say this for the very first time as i can
THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THEY USED TO.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 14, 2013 12:08 AM GMT


Kill List [DVD]
Kill List [DVD]
Dvd ~ Neil Maskell
Offered by Lifes Essentials
Price: 5.32

9 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BEANS ON TOAST, 5 Jan 2012
This review is from: Kill List [DVD] (DVD)
To be honest i cannot be bothered with a laboured synopsis,Kill List is about two hit men.It's 90 minutes or so,a Brit flick that DOESN'T star Danny Dyer or set on a council estate,revelling in social realism.The fact Dyer is not in this movie warrants an automatic 5 stars.
I am probably being a tad too generous but i think the director Ben Wheatley is definitely a talent.I have not come across him before but Kill List is wonderfully directed,there is a palpable sense of dread running through the movie and some beautiful shots.I honestly did not know what direction the movie was going to go,which in these times is a nice thing.I like not knowing.
Violence in the movie is portrayed realistically,short,sharp,fraught explosions.Plus the vocation of being a hitman is depicted as abhorrent,shady not the normal stylish career choice for a matchstick in the mouth anti hero.
Some people will say "it's a bit odd innit..." similar to the moronic headstracthing that greets any film or story that doesn't automatically end with a nice bow attached to it.
I find life completely non sensical,bizarre,unpredictable so i enjoy a film that adds a little oblique confusion or surrealism,as far as i am concerned there is not enough of it in the movies.Frankly films about a stuttering king announcing the birth of a war being adored by housewives across the country is far more "odd".Or films about gigantic robots.Kill List is flawed but it has an ambition,it really reminded me of Nic Roeg for some reason.
A cult classic in the making.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 19, 2012 3:16 AM GMT


Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights [DVD]
Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights [DVD]
Dvd ~ Frankie Boyle
Price: 4.00

35 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HATE THE WEEK, 1 Jan 2012
Things are so bad in comedy nowadays i have resorted to becoming a Frankie Boyle fan.Stand up comedy is fast becoming the career choice of the privately educated silver spoon dangling from their mouth middle classes who would've otherwise embarked on a gilded career in finance.
Perpetual guests on woeful panel shows,recycling their 5 year old material on endless Dave repeats these performing chimps from you're Russell Howards to Andy Parsons now play to 10,000 people in various enormo domes round the country.Blimey i remember when Newman And Baddiel playing Wembley Arena was a cultural event.
Even bottom of the barrel Al Murray can do it nowadays.Arena comedy sponspored by Dave.
Richard Pyror and Bill Hicks would be spinning in their graves.
In this soulless context a hateful,spiteful comedian like Frankie Boyle becomes a valid proposition.Almost needed.
When watching Tramadol Nights i WANTED to be offended...blimey anything other then midly amused.
I am tired of hearing routines concerning chicken shops,asking for directions,hoodies.....the retinas of a modern audience have been scorched by images of unlawful wars,riots,corrupt politicians and this wet behind the ears material just simply doesn't cut it.
The laughter at a Frankie Boyle gig is far more uncomfortable,awkward rather then the moronic laughter of the masses at some gig at Wembley where the audience have paid 50 quid to see some auto cued mannequin deliver another harmless insipid,vapid routine.Just laughing to get their moneys worth.
Frankie Boyle is no Lenny Bruce but seems to be the only comedian who doesn't court acceptance or popularity.He seemingly wants to invite derision and outrage.Good on em.I doubt you will be hearing Boyle providing a nice cheeky voice over for investment adverts.Hate Boyle,loathe Boyle,like Boyle...at least hes a comedian that illicits SOMETHING.I found it slighty cathartic to laugh at frankly awful things,otherwise you'd cry.
As a country we get the comedians we deserve,Boyle is one.... who hopefully will continue to gob in our moronic,googled,facebooked slackjawed faces.I hope his new stand up tour this year cranks up the hate fuelled bile.
Comment Comments (8) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 6, 2013 11:37 AM BST


Sherlock Holmes - Complete Collection [DVD]
Sherlock Holmes - Complete Collection [DVD]
Dvd ~ Jeremy Brett
Price: 24.75

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars JEREMY BRETT IS FLAWLESS, 1 Jan 2012
This is a brilliant set at an exceptional price,16 discs and 41 episodes.I am not going to say much except how awesome the late Jeremy Brett was.The gentleman IS SHERLOCK HOLMES.Its one of those pieces of acting that is a pure joy to watch,Brett simply commands the camera with every movement.
I am still watching the set but have pretty much enjoyed every programme,my favourites so far being The Crooked Man and The Copper Beeches.
I love David Burkes performance of Watson as well,it works terrifically against the masterful Holmes.
To be honest i am really starting to tire of most modern tv series with their ironic violence,post modern narratives and profane languge.
ITVs Sherlock Holmes is just pure storytelling coupled with a towering pure performance from Jeremy Brett.Sure,some people may find it a bit hammy or slightly sunday afternoon stuff but personally this suited me to the ground.
Rather then the frankly stupid and unbelievable Dexter which my other half gobbles up.
I don't like Guy Ritchies version,i do not like the new bbc version i like this.
I now fully understand Jeremy Brett's army of admirers.A legend.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 21, 2012 10:07 PM GMT


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