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mister joe "mister joe" (Herts)

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Bridesmaids (Extended Edition) [DVD] [2011]
Bridesmaids (Extended Edition) [DVD] [2011]
Dvd ~ Kristen Wiig
Price: £4.77

10 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars SEX AND THE CITY, 13 Mar. 2012
My sister literally badgered me to watch Bridesmaids,according to her it was "sooooo funny".Even her other half agreed.Though rather meekly i have to admit.
The main problem probably is as a 30 something male maybe i am not the right demographic, i suspect a lot of couples went to see this movie its a kind of Bridget Jones Hangover hybrid.There was a few articles talking about how Bridesmaids may be a new dawn of female led box office successes,well i just thought the movie was awful.
Every cliche is ticked,crude toilet humour,i mean i felt no empathy for the lead character at all.
It sounds awful but i began to question whether female performers in movies are as good as males.
A militant feminist would despise the candy floss subtext of Bridesmaid,which presents the idea that your life is over as a woman if you have not met the "man of your dreams".A woman cannot find happiness unless it is compounded by the attention of a male.Pretty lame really.
There seems to be a spate of nasty obnoxious humour on display in some of the recent Hollywood comedys i have seen where a character calls someone a c word and i assume as an audience you are meant to guffaw.
I didn't laugh.Nor did the 3 females i was watching it with.
2 HOURSSS!!!!!!Good golly for a film with the gravitas of an empty crisp packet they strecthed it out.By the 70th minute i was nearly going to tear my eyes out of my skull.
When will a film maker in Hollywood make a genuinely good film with well written women characters with emotions beyond screaming and wishing they we're skinny?Its depressing.As all boyfriends and fathers will attest to women are rather complex creatures with as much strength and intelligence as men.
But anyone would be valid in saying i am an over serious moron who is reading way too much in what is essentially fluff.In that case enjoy the fluff.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 13, 2012 4:30 PM GMT

The Ides of March [DVD]
The Ides of March [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ryan Gosling
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.97

10 of 28 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars NOT THE PRESIDENTS MEN, 10 Mar. 2012
This review is from: The Ides of March [DVD] (DVD)
George Clooney.I don't like the man,in my opinion his best performance was over 20 years ago in Revenge Of The Killer Tomatoes.Since then he has become the epitome of smugness,a wet lefty spoilt actor who schmoozes so heavily he leaves a gloopy trail like a slug.Hes a boring actor,good film acting doesn't constitute putting on a few pounds,growing some stubble or having a side parting.
Clooneys speciality now is wine and cheese films marketed to that awful boring guardian crossword,mid 40s divorced demographic,smelly leather couch movies that scream "prestige!","nominate me..."
Have you seen a film more smug then The Descendents????The Ides Of March is another "quality" pristine picture with Clooney playing a laughably unrealistic presidential candidate.And you would not believe the revelations that in the world of politics....its a bit corrupt you know,games are played.WOW.....i did not know that.
I refuse to take political idealogies from a person who advertises coffee makers.Seriously Clooney lives in an alternate universe,most probably 1976,you know where good movies like All The Presidents Men were made.
I imagine Clooney writes love letters to Alan Pakula and Sidney Lumet in between slurping expressos and looking in the mirror.
When i saw this in the cinema it was akin to being in an old peoples homes,a vacuous,gereatric atmosphere.No one was eating pop corn,everyone wore cardigans.Horrific.
Clooney needs an emotional disaster in his life,he needs to be gripped by terrible addictions.His films are boring beyond belief and if you think there good you are a killjoy and wrong.
Clooney needs to smell the coffee.
Comment Comments (7) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jun 1, 2012 9:05 PM BST

Price: £6.23

6 of 13 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars G AND T, 5 Mar. 2012
This review is from: 19 (Audio CD)
Adeles ubiquity is truly horrifying,whether on the car radio,pushing your trolley round the supermarket,eating a chicken drum stick in Harvester it will be sure be soundtracked by the nations "sweetheart" Adele bellowing mournfully about some bloke who stole her snickers bar 10 years ago.
Whats quite funny is what made people love Adele seems to be what she is changing,out goes the trackies,hooped earings,big belly income the stylists,yes men and a sense of importance.Wow....Adele gets her speech cut at the Brits.
GOOD....i propose gaffer taping their mouths.I don't care about these rich luvvies.I can just about afford a microwave meal for one.
19 is a bland,generic album akin to be trapped in a room with a woman at the certain time of the month in need of a hot water bottle and bar of chocolate.The self absorbsion is STAGGERING.So what if you are not happy?Or your boyfriend hasn't bought you a bottle of d and g?People are starving,homeless.
Though obviously Adele is in no shape,way or form starving.
I mean theres what 300 reviews of this cd,never in my life have i seen a cross section of such boring,boring taste.This is music for boring people who place cds next to their groceries in their shopping trolley whilst giving dirty stares at the parent whose kid is throwing a loud paddy.This is the music of daycentres,building sites,hairdressers....devastating mediocrity in a cess pool of emotionally facebooked,googled tweety apathy.
Comment Comments (10) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 2, 2012 3:08 AM BST

Paranormal Activity 3 [DVD]
Paranormal Activity 3 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Chloe Csengery
Price: £3.85

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars SMOKE AND MIRRORS, 28 Feb. 2012
This review is from: Paranormal Activity 3 [DVD] (DVD)
Talk about laughing all the way to the bank,the Paranormal Activity franchise are a lesson in gross profits.They cost barely nothing to make,feature no big salary stars,effects vary from floating bedsheets to wobbly lampshades and yet here we are for a third helping.This film is a win win proposition for its shrewd makers.
Many reviewers are saying how they hope this will be the last in the series,personally i hope for another 3.I thoroughly enjoy being mocked as a viewer as i watch waiting for something,anything to happen.
It is not very often in a film where a bedsheet suddenly being swiped gratifies me as much after waiting 30 minutes of essentially nothing.In a way Activity is a tribute to the old chestnut less is more,the anticipation of something occuring far out weighs the result,the film in your imagination is far superior to the actual movie.
Its a con of a movie,smoke and mirrors,just trashy instantly forgettable cinema.
Storyline?Who know the score.I did not see this for a lesson in stylish shots or lucid screenwriting.
For those that are asking for that Paranormal Activity 3 is not for you.
But for others looking for a fun,silly film this does the job.
And i have to admit there were a few times i held a sofa cushion up to cover my eyes expecting a scare or jump.
Which did not happen of course.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 2, 2012 11:12 AM GMT

Born to Die
Born to Die
Offered by mrtopseller
Price: £3.54

12 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FEMME FATALE, 1 Feb. 2012
This review is from: Born to Die (Audio CD)
Authenticity.A horrid term,a misunderstood term.I mean do people really think all the hip hop stars were really selling drugs on the sidewalk before a platinum selling music career?Hmmmmm....Mainstream culture positively trades in projected fictions.David Bowie before being from mars was singing jaunty songs about laughing gnomes,Bob Dylan created his own mythology....all the best performers have a history.
So we have the beautifully imagined Lana Del Rey,a rich daddys girl,former incarnations,possible surgery....and a truly stunning voice.And an enigma in a day and age where any bit of mystery in music has all been saturated by tweeting,facebooking and youtubing.
In all honesty i do not want to see my pop stars buying a loaf of bread in their trackies.I want them far away.
Lana as all the best artists firmly splits audiences down the middle,no room for impartial mediocrity.But ultimately she is having the last laugh,obviously Del Ray is a shrewd,astute woman and i imagine the rants of spotty,unattractive haters flows like the proverbial water off a ducks back.As long as people are talking hey,all publicity is good publicity.The haters by taking note effectively strengthen her marketing.
Born To Die is one sexy,seductive album taking in faded Hollywood glamour,sad tragic doomed romance,rich girls being bad.Aesthetically perfect,produced with lush,panoramic sound.Lana Del Rey is an actress in her own movie.
Lana is every boys dream or nightmare,presenting herself as a blank canvas.I am totally in love with the woman.Deeply sexy.Her voice veers from incredible vulnerability to total femme fatale strength.
Born To Die,Video Games,National Anthem are great tunes on a great album.A perfectly concieved statement.
Fact or fiction who cares?Who wants to be themselves nowadays anyway?
And what a joy to see an edgy album at number one rather then Adele?
Lana Del Rey.Born to do it.
Comment Comments (12) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 10, 2012 2:03 PM BST

Drive [DVD]
Drive [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ryan Gosling
Offered by DVDBayFBA
Price: £2.97

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars NO GOOD SHARKS, 31 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Drive [DVD] (DVD)
It is very nice to see a few derisive reviews in an otherwise sea of 5 stars.However i am afraid mine is another thumbs up jobbie.Purely on a technical level Drive deserves 5 stars,the look of the film and lighting is simply lush.To anyone in the know there is a lot of similarities to Walter Hills The Driver and the godlike Two Lane Backdrop.Plus a palpable reverence to Micheal Mann's Thief.
To be honest a modern film referencing these is not a problem at all in my humble opinion.Far more this then the constant sausage factory recurgitation of every conceivable horror movie or slasher.
Ryan Gosling is a matchstick in the mouth,sullen quiet stuntman who also has a sideline in driving getaway cars.
I suppose you would say he's an existentialist action hero,though i doubt very much Goslings character knows or even thinks about this rather complex thought.No....he's far too busy,catatonic in thought,being cool and stuff.
Theres a few gangsters,jobs gone wrong and a broad to protect all told in a dayglo version of noir,i would say "neo noir" if i knew exactly what this term meant.
Drive tells its haiku style story in images rather then words,a style i like and which is constantly taught by script writer teachers in seminars "show...don't tell".
The romance in the movie is never quite fulfilled,always the best way and through this there is a very nice longing,yearning portrayed on screen.Rather nice.
The violence is beautiful in a sort of splurting,colourful way and there are a few very iconic in the making shots.
I especially liked when Gosling was wearing a latex mask.
I did wonder if Gosling was the right man for the job,a silent character demands a gravitas.In the earlier part of the film he kind of has a constipated smirk which i believe wasn't the intention.But when the film froths Gosling does a good job.No one will however top the pure laconic coolness of Dennis Wilson in Two Lane Blacktop in my mind.
The soundtrack to this movie is perfect.All in all a strong Hollywood movie with a good heart and ambition.
Beautifully composed,cool as a cucumber.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 13, 2012 5:27 PM GMT

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] [1982]
Blade Runner: The Final Cut (2-Disc Special Edition) [DVD] [1982]
Dvd ~ Harrison Ford
Price: £5.99

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BLUSH RESPONSE, 25 Jan. 2012
Mr.Scott WE ARE NOT WORTHY.I will make you coffee,light your cigars,wash your plates and scrub your kitchen floor.
Free of charge.Blade Runner is awesome for everything it is and everything it is not.
I did not want this film to end and this was about the 859th time i have watched it.NEVER have i seen such a profound,stylish,classy,poetic movie as this.Well apart from Alien.
It is just the perfect film,the work of a visionary director.Blade Runner simply has not dated.The soundtrack is awesome,the script is awesome,Rutger my dear is beyond awesome.
No need to watch anymore movies or even write reviews.
Blade Runner,the holy movie of all time.FACT.
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Mar 28, 2012 11:51 PM BST

The Butterfly Effect - Director's Cut [DVD]
The Butterfly Effect - Director's Cut [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ashton Kutcher
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £3.15

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, 15 Jan. 2012
The Butterfly Effect most certainly caught me off guard,here i was replete with snobbish indifference{it stars Ashton Demi Kutcher} expecting some moronic supernatural bag of air but instead viewed a thematically profound,expertly written close to masterpiece movie.Gosh.
I am not going to pontificate about the meaning of the butterfly effect,i will leave that to the rather more elequoent reviewers.The conceit of this movie of one's place and actions in life is ingenious,exploring different ways in which events can transpire thus almost giving the viewer 3 films in one.Hey....i am always up for a bargain in these times of debt.
This is one of those rarities of a Hollwood movie with admirable motivations,a story that aims for the heart rather then the wallet.Definetly an example of a studio taking a risk,film makers being brave....
There is a real tangible emotional landscape to this movie,the actors are top notch veering physically,emotionally through different realities.Issue wise you have incest,abuse,regret,love,hate...beautifully poignant stuff that we go through as people.Stuff we live,stuff we know stuff...baggage.
Butterfly Effect is pardon the cliche a rollercoaster of a movie and if you have not viewed it get in,ponder.
Beautiful,thought provoking mainstream cinema.
How often can you say that?
Comment Comments (7) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 28, 2015 3:17 PM GMT

Tron Legacy [DVD]
Tron Legacy [DVD]
Dvd ~ Michael Sheen
Price: £5.99

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DDDDDUUUDE....., 10 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Tron Legacy [DVD] (DVD)
When i heard a Tron sequel was being made i wet my pants and cried.Continously for 3 days.Life's depressions we're lifted instantly,i actually smiled a couple of times.I had seen the light.
This is a gigantic monster of a movie.The BEST FILM OF 2011 for a few pertinent reasons....
1.Tron is the coolest movie of all time,thus Tron Legacy is the second coolest movie of all time
2.Legacy is a visual triumph,battering your brain to mush with spectacular set pieces,bikes spinning mid air,the coolest landscape since...well Tron..or Blade Runner.This is a cyber punk Matrix ting.
The design of this movie is purely awe inspiring.
3.Daft Punk provide a BANGING soundtrack.
4.Dude....Jeff Bridges is in it.
5.To the haters....stop moaning.Nothing will ever bring you even a modicum of happiness,let alone satisfaction whether this be free pies or a no strings date with the goddess that is Kelly Brook.I am stereotyping dreadfully here as i assume only males love Tron.
6.The movie rocks like Keith Moon on drums,Hendrix on lead,that short bloke singer from Level 42 on bass,Gary Numan on synths and Freddie Mercury on vocals.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 18, 2012 12:04 AM GMT

Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Dvd ~ Emma Bell
Price: £19.99

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED, 9 Jan. 2012
Blimey Final Destination seems to be the ultimate in a franchise that refuses to die,will not die,cannot die.
The conceit of the movie could go on for 30 or so sequels.I think they should make a tv series as well as a Final Destination theme park where you pay to board rickety,wobbling rollercoasters or big wheels where the cable snaps and you and your cousins are trapped in a freefalling boxcar.How about cups and saucers that spin off track throwing you into a burning bus.I think its a great idea,death simply HAS to be the biggest buzz.
The younger crowd love these movies.This is the only movie i have seen that kept my 15 year old cousin and 18 year old sister in law from not texting,tweeting,twatting,facebooking,goggling on their phones.
I enjoyed it as well watching the fresh faced,square jawed cast alternately step onto screws,get their blue retinas scorched or beautifully impaled.
A Hollywood movie where the majority of the good looking cast are placed in comical peril and life threatening accidents automatically receives 5 stars.Final Destination 5 is a perfect,lobotomised,pop corn munching,brain rot movie.Long may the series run!
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 21, 2012 3:24 PM GMT

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