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Crookedmouth ":-/" (As seen on iPlayer)
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Senfloco Men's Bamboo Fiber Sexy Low Rise Brief Thong G-string Tanga 7 Colours
Senfloco Men's Bamboo Fiber Sexy Low Rise Brief Thong G-string Tanga 7 Colours
Offered by Donner-UK
Price: £6.99

4.0 out of 5 stars May contain nuts, 17 Dec 2014
Not much room in the front for the "package", and a halfway decent stiffy will pop out and surprise the folks at the very front of the audience. So if you're particularly well endowed, you may want to think of Dame Edna Everage during the stripping routine at the Twilight Meadows Retirement Home Bingo Night.
Comment Comment | Permalink


Kids Exterminate Dalek Doctor Who T Shirt from Fabric Flavours
Kids Exterminate Dalek Doctor Who T Shirt from Fabric Flavours

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Wibbly wobbly timey wimey?, 12 Dec 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Bought this for my nephew who is a bit of a Doctor Who nut. He certainly seemed to like it. It feels and looks like it's of pretty decent quality and the picture on the front is nice and lurid. If they did this in adult sizes, I'd have one for me!


York Active 110 Exercise Cycle
York Active 110 Exercise Cycle

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Ride on, 12 Dec 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
My first impressions of this were "My god! What a brute!" until I realised that, bcause it's not a real bike, it doesn't have to be constructed like a £1000 racer - weight and aerodynamics mean nothing.

It was also remarkable just how small a box it was packed into. This worried me because it suggested that a pretty serious reconstruction effort would be required in order to deal with the thousands of parts that were bound to tumble out of the box when opened. I was pleasantly surprised to find that things weren't as bad as I was expecting - in the end it took me no more than 30 minutes to get the bike into working order. Not an EASY process by any means - the rear "foot" can go on in any one of four ways (probably more if you're particularly inventive) only one of which is correct - so pay close attention to the instructions. Putting the handlebars on is a little tricky too and an extra pair of hands wouldn't go amiss at this stage.

Once put together this seems to operate well as an exercise bike. I have no experience with these machines - this is my first one - but the tension control to adjust the rolling resistance and the LCD display make this what appears to be a basic but nicely functional machine. The display unit shows predicted speed & distance, pedal rpm, calories burned, elapsed time and even your pulse rate (there is a sensor in the handlebars). All very useful, although the refresh rate seems to be quite low.

The seat is big and comfortable as are the and pedals - quite comfortable enough that I can use the bike bare-foot. The handle bars' foam grips give off a rather plasticky smell and I wonder how long they'll last before I have to replace them with handle bar tape. The frame is also prety chunky - sufficiently agricultural to support my +100kg body.

Overall this seems like a very decent bike and good value.


Bodymax 8kg Kettlebell Cast Iron
Bodymax 8kg Kettlebell Cast Iron
Offered by Powerhouse Fitness
Price: £19.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bells & whistles, 1 Dec 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I picked up a couple of 8kg kettlebells because I wanted to work a little on my upper body strength. They are much more compact than the traditional barbell form of weight. The bells are fairly basic - well what more can you say about an 8kg lump of iron? Thanks to a coating of gloss paint, the handle provides little in the way of grip or friction. I can see that will have advantages or disadvantages depending on what sort of moves you are planning to work out with.

The 8kg size is in truth a bit heavy for me. I am at the very beginning of my regime but am already moderately well developed having done some light working-out in the recent past (but lapsed for about 6 months). Anyone starting out may well want to go for something a little lighter although I know - from experience - that if you keep to your regime and increase the number of reps on a regular basis that it shouldn't be too many weeks before you start to notice a real difference.

I'm by no means an expert in the field, but these do feel like pretty decent value. Why pay extra for high tech when all you want is a heavy lump of metal?


Outdoortips AA / AAA Battery Storage Cases (5 pack)-Protect And Reserve Batteries Easily
Outdoortips AA / AAA Battery Storage Cases (5 pack)-Protect And Reserve Batteries Easily
Offered by outdoortips
Price: £1.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Assault and battery, 30 Nov 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This is a great idea - five little plastic cases to store those batteries that would normally rattle around loose in a draw somewhere, losing their charge. I should have looked a little closer because I thought the cases would be much larger and able to store different types of battery - as it is, each case will only take 4x AA or AAA cells. That's ok though, they're cheap enough and mostly all I have in the house is AA and AAA batteries.


HOEREV Sexy Mens Mesh Hole Thongs G-string Briefs Comfy Underwear
HOEREV Sexy Mens Mesh Hole Thongs G-string Briefs Comfy Underwear
Offered by Goods First
Price: £3.45

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh myyy!, 30 Nov 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Sent free in exchange for a review.

This pouch slips over one's genitals and is secured there by a drawstring, looking for all the world like a gaily coloured executioner's hood, leaving one almost completely starkers. The effect is clearly intended to be "sexy". However, being nearly 50 years old, overweight and quite hairy I look less sexy and rather more... well, like a fat hairy fifty year old in a posing pouch, I suppose. (can I also just point out that green is not the best colour to choose - it makes me look like I'm raping Kermit the Frog).

That drawstring, tieing around the testicles and the shaft of the penis, is all that keeps the pouch in place. The string has some fairly weighty aigulettes which tap against the balls and provide an... interesting sensation. This could present a problem, because any hint of a stiffy and one runs the risk of popping the pouch right off. Then again, in times of boredom, stress or extreme cold, the fit becomes rather loose and an impromptu uncovering is also possible.

And that latter eventuality was nearly my undoing when I decided to give the pouch a road test at work. The pouch was comfortable all morning, but during the afternoon I was dragooned into a particularly dull presentation on the company's half-yearly results. The meeting room was also rather chilly and, unbeknownst to me, and for obvious reasons, the pouch dropped off about half-way through the session and began to work it's way down my left trouser leg. I was then asked to take the stand and provide an impromptu talk on our sales figures. As I stepped to the podium a bright green posing pouch emerged from my trouser leg and deposited itself on the floor at my feet. I swiftly kicked it underneath the Sales Manager's chair, hoping that he would be blamed for the indiscretion, but I suspect that my manoeuvres were detected. I may not be getting a bonus this year...
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 8, 2014 12:26 PM GMT


Ashers Highland Single Malt Whisky Cake 180g/6oz
Ashers Highland Single Malt Whisky Cake 180g/6oz
Offered by Emporium Cookshop & Homewares
Price: £7.95

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars och the noo, 30 Oct 2014
Absolutely lovely little cake. Rich, moist and with a tangily decadent whisky flavour, this is an ideal addition to a Christmas hamper or stocking. It IS very small though and you will barely manage to get more than two servings out of it.


Senfloco Men's Sexy Mesh G-String Thong (Purple)
Senfloco Men's Sexy Mesh G-String Thong (Purple)
Offered by Donner-UK
Price: £6.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thong thung blue, everybody loveth one, 30 Oct 2014
Captain, as I am, of The Willow's Country Club Tennis Team, I consider it my duty to set a decent example of gentlemanly behaviour and sportsmanlike conduct at all times. I have noticed a tendency amongst the younger professional player to indulge in less acceptable behaviors. That Scottish fellow, for instance... Murray. Well known for his loutish antics, better suited to the soccer pitch. His latest trick seems to be to let his balls pop out, whether by accident or design, to the great consternation of the spectators and the distraction of his opponent. Not what one would have expected of previous generations; MacEnroe, Nastaze, Connors took great pains to keep their balls under control at all times and you would certainly never expect to have seen that fellow Navratilova's balls in the middle of a hard - fought set on Centre Court.

Well, you can barely imagine my embarrassment when it happened to me! It was during a mixed match with Miss Fanshawe of our under -21s. We were both at Love when I slipped a particularly vigorous service right into her baseline and lost both my balls. I was crestfallen to see my balls bouncing off down the court, coming to rest at the base of the umpire's stool. Miss F was jolly decent about it, retrieving my balls herself and kindly popping them back into my shorts. I was most impressed at her composure, and her dexterous, gentle hands. She took my next service right up her tramline and with the greatest aplomb.

Resolving never to lose my balls on court again, I availed myself of this ball pouch. Available in a range of gay colours, it is tied around one's waist with a length of sturdy elastic and is just the right size to secure both of my balls which are, if you're interested, of International Tennis Federation regulation diameter 2.7" (plus or minus an eighth of an inch or two, depending on ambient temperature). Even during the most athletic matchplay sessions with our younger members I can be confident that my balls will be securely held, free from chaffage and excessive shuffle, never again to fall out at critical moments. The material is perforated, allowing my balls to breathe, ensuring predictable bounce and spin. Admittedly, when playing with my newest balls, the fuzz does tend to poke through the perforations, but one can't have everything, can one?

Now all I need is a way to stop my penis from flopping out as well.

PROPER REVIEW

This was sent free in exchange for a review.

Well, there's not a lot to this, to be honest. The pouch barely covers my genitals, but is secured reasonably well by the elastic that loops around my balls. Even so, one good stiffy and it pops off, rather defeating the object of the whole thing. Being mesh, there's plenty of skin visible and the "nearly naked" feeling of wearing it is certainly very sexy. I'm pretty sure, though, that as a 47 year old, hairy, overweight guy, I look faintly (or very) ridiculous rather than sexy, as the album linked in the comments should demonstrate depressingly well. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 17, 2014 7:51 PM GMT


The Haunted Vagina
The Haunted Vagina
Price: £3.13

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fanny by flashlight, 28 Oct 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
After a passionate evening of love-making, Steve's girlfriend's vagina starts making weird, eldritch noises. And when Stacey's ghoulish gash produces a full-sized human skeleton it becomes clear that she has a haunted hole. There's only one thing for it. She persuades him to grab a torch, dive in and do some ghost-busting.

The improbably named and effusively mutton-chopped Carlton Mellick III seems to be a big name in "Bizzarro" fiction, a genre characterised by an extreme surrealism/absurdism. Mellick's work is known for it's hyper-sexual themes, gore and eye-catching titles. It is a huge shame that works such as "Baby-Jesus ButtpIug", "The Morbidly Obese Ninja", "Razor Wire Pubic Hair" and "I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter: A Demonic Romantic Comedy" are unlikely ever to find themselves on Richard and Judy's Summer Reading List.

However, if this offering is anything to go by, Mr Mellick is being under-sold. Ok, it's not exactly the highest of haute fiction, but there's much more to this than is suggested by the trashy title. For a start, this novella is actually rather well written in a sparse, understated way. True enough, there's some extreme explicit and very surreal sex but its neither pornographic nor gratuitous. Instead, The Haunted Vagina is an incongruously mature, intimate and rather poignant (albeit Cronenburgesque) love story. The characters are engagingly sweet and the story deals with some serious sexual themes.

Don't be put off by the title. I wasn't. It was the title (I'm a little ashamed to say) that sold it to me, but I certainly didn't get what I was expecting.

'"I also got you a sleeping bag and some food," she says, "if you want to camp out over night."

'"I'm not camping out in your vagina overnight," I tell her.'


Emhar WW1 British Mk A "Whippet" Medium Tank - 1:72 Plastic Model Kit
Emhar WW1 British Mk A "Whippet" Medium Tank - 1:72 Plastic Model Kit
Offered by Isca Models Ltd
Price: £6.44

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars All tanked up, 19 Oct 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
The Whippet was designed to act as a fast and agile tank to break through enemy lines. The two bus engines gave this 14 ton beast a sprightly 8mph capability. That sounds pretty slow it had a 4mph advantage over the more familiar MkI/II Heavy tank.

This is a relatively simple kit comprising a paltry 18 pieces. The tracks, (the bane of the tank modeller's life) are in this kit molded in solid styrene and are already "attached"*. This really couldn't be simpler to build. The detail is pretty decent too, with engraved panel lines and raised rivets. These latter are a little large to my inexpert eye, but once the kit is painted they will, no doubt, blend into the final finish.

There is a choice of decals - a very simple olive green scheme with either British or German markings.

A rather nice little kit of a less than familiar subject.

* Pay no attention to the other review which says that the tracks come as separate black rubber. They don't


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