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Crookedmouth ":-/" (Somewhere in the Jurassic...)

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York Fitness Active 110 Exercise Bike
York Fitness Active 110 Exercise Bike
Price: £149.99

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Ride on, 12 Dec. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
My first impressions of this were "My god! What a brute!" until I realised that, bcause it's not a real bike, it doesn't have to be constructed like a £1000 racer - weight and aerodynamics mean nothing.

It was also remarkable just how small a box it was packed into. This worried me because it suggested that a pretty serious reconstruction effort would be required in order to deal with the thousands of parts that were bound to tumble out of the box when opened. I was pleasantly surprised to find that things weren't as bad as I was expecting - in the end it took me no more than 30 minutes to get the bike into working order. Not an EASY process by any means - the rear "foot" can go on in any one of four ways (probably more if you're particularly inventive) only one of which is correct - so pay close attention to the instructions. Putting the handlebars on is a little tricky too and an extra pair of hands wouldn't go amiss at this stage.

Once put together this seems to operate well as an exercise bike. I have no experience with these machines - this is my first one - but the tension control to adjust the rolling resistance and the LCD display make this what appears to be a basic but nicely functional machine. The display unit shows predicted speed & distance, pedal rpm, calories burned, elapsed time and even your pulse rate (there is a sensor in the handlebars). All very useful, although the refresh rate seems to be quite low.

The seat is big and comfortable as are the and pedals - quite comfortable enough that I can use the bike bare-foot. The handle bars' foam grips give off a rather plasticky smell and I wonder how long they'll last before I have to replace them with handle bar tape. The frame is also prety chunky - sufficiently agricultural to support my +100kg body.

Overall this seems like a very decent bike and good value.


Bodymax 8kg Kettlebell Cast Iron
Bodymax 8kg Kettlebell Cast Iron
Price: £18.47

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bells & whistles, 1 Dec. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I picked up a couple of 8kg kettlebells because I wanted to work a little on my upper body strength. They are much more compact than the traditional barbell form of weight. The bells are fairly basic - well what more can you say about an 8kg lump of iron? Thanks to a coating of gloss paint, the handle provides little in the way of grip or friction. I can see that will have advantages or disadvantages depending on what sort of moves you are planning to work out with.

The 8kg size is in truth a bit heavy for me. I am at the very beginning of my regime but am already moderately well developed having done some light working-out in the recent past (but lapsed for about 6 months). Anyone starting out may well want to go for something a little lighter although I know - from experience - that if you keep to your regime and increase the number of reps on a regular basis that it shouldn't be too many weeks before you start to notice a real difference.

I'm by no means an expert in the field, but these do feel like pretty decent value. Why pay extra for high tech when all you want is a heavy lump of metal?


Outdoortips AA / AAA Battery Storage Cases (5 pack)-Protect And Reserve Batteries Easily
Outdoortips AA / AAA Battery Storage Cases (5 pack)-Protect And Reserve Batteries Easily
Offered by outdoortips
Price: £2.55

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Assault and battery, 30 Nov. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This is a great idea - five little plastic cases to store those batteries that would normally rattle around loose in a draw somewhere, losing their charge. I should have looked a little closer because I thought the cases would be much larger and able to store different types of battery - as it is, each case will only take 4x AA or AAA cells. That's ok though, they're cheap enough and mostly all I have in the house is AA and AAA batteries.


Ashers Highland Single Malt Whisky Cake 180g/6oz
Ashers Highland Single Malt Whisky Cake 180g/6oz
Offered by Emporium Cookshop & Homewares
Price: £8.25

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars och the noo, 30 Oct. 2014
Absolutely lovely little cake. Rich, moist and with a tangily decadent whisky flavour, this is an ideal addition to a Christmas hamper or stocking. It IS very small though and you will barely manage to get more than two servings out of it.


Senfloco Men's Sexy Mesh G-String Thong (Black)
Senfloco Men's Sexy Mesh G-String Thong (Black)

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Thong thung blue, 30 Oct. 2014
Captain, as I am, of The Willow's Country Club Tennis Team, I consider it my duty to set a decent example of gentlemanly behaviour and sportsmanlike conduct at all times. I have noticed a tendency amongst the younger professional player to indulge in less acceptable behaviors. That Scottish fellow, for instance... Murray. Well known for his loutish antics, better suited to the soccer pitch. His latest trick seems to be to let his balls pop out, whether by accident or design, to the great consternation of the spectators and the distraction of his opponent. Not what one would have expected of previous generations; MacEnroe, Nastaze, Connors took great pains to keep their balls under control at all times and you would certainly never expect to have seen that fellow Navratilova's balls in the middle of a hard - fought set on Centre Court.

Well, you can barely imagine my embarrassment when it happened to me! It was during a mixed match with Miss Fanshawe of our under -21s. We were both at Love when I slipped a particularly vigorous service right into her baseline and lost both my balls. I was crestfallen to see my balls bouncing off down the court, coming to rest at the base of the umpire's stool. Miss F was jolly decent about it, retrieving my balls herself and kindly popping them back into my shorts. I was most impressed at her composure, and her dexterous, gentle hands. She took my next service right up her tramline and with the greatest aplomb.

Resolving never to lose my balls on court again, I availed myself of this ball pouch. Available in a range of gay colours, it is tied around one's waist with a length of sturdy elastic and is just the right size to secure both of my balls which are, if you're interested, of International Tennis Federation regulation diameter 2.7" (plus or minus an eighth of an inch or two, depending on ambient temperature). Even during the most athletic matchplay sessions with our younger members I can be confident that my balls will be securely held, free from chaffage and excessive shuffle, never again to fall out at critical moments. The material is perforated, allowing my balls to breathe, ensuring predictable bounce and spin. Admittedly, when playing with my newest balls, the fuzz does tend to poke through the perforations, but one can't have everything, can one?

Now all I need is a way to stop my penis from flopping out as well.

PROPER REVIEW

This was sent free in exchange for a review.

Well, there's not a lot to this, to be honest. The pouch barely covers my genitals, but is secured reasonably well by the elastic that loops around my balls. Even so, one good stiffy and it pops off, rather defeating the object of the whole thing. Being mesh, there's plenty of skin visible and the "nearly naked" feeling of wearing it is certainly very sexy. I'm pretty sure, though, that as a 47 year old, hairy, overweight guy, I look faintly (or very) ridiculous rather than sexy, as the album linked in the comments should demonstrate depressingly well. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 24, 2015 6:47 PM GMT


The Haunted Vagina
The Haunted Vagina
Price: £3.65

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fanny by flashlight, 28 Oct. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
After a passionate evening of love-making, Steve's girlfriend's vagina starts making weird, eldritch noises. And when Stacey's ghoulish gash produces a full-sized human skeleton it becomes clear that she has a haunted hole. There's only one thing for it. She persuades him to grab a torch, dive in and do some ghost-busting.

The improbably named and effusively mutton-chopped Carlton Mellick III seems to be a big name in "Bizzarro" fiction, a genre characterised by an extreme surrealism/absurdism. Mellick's work is known for it's hyper-sexual themes, gore and eye-catching titles. It is a huge shame that works such as "Baby-Jesus ButtpIug", "The Morbidly Obese Ninja", "Razor Wire Pubic Hair" and "I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter: A Demonic Romantic Comedy" are unlikely ever to find themselves on Richard and Judy's Summer Reading List.

However, if this offering is anything to go by, Mr Mellick is being under-sold. Ok, it's not exactly the highest of haute fiction, but there's much more to this than is suggested by the trashy title. For a start, this novella is actually rather well written in a sparse, understated way. True enough, there's some extreme explicit and very surreal sex but its neither pornographic nor gratuitous. Instead, The Haunted Vagina is an incongruously mature, intimate and rather poignant (albeit Cronenburgesque) love story. The characters are engagingly sweet and the story deals with some serious sexual themes.

Don't be put off by the title. I wasn't. It was the title (I'm a little ashamed to say) that sold it to me, but I certainly didn't get what I was expecting.

'"I also got you a sleeping bag and some food," she says, "if you want to camp out over night."

'"I'm not camping out in your vagina overnight," I tell her.'


Emhar WW1 British Mk A "Whippet" Medium Tank - 1:72 Plastic Model Kit
Emhar WW1 British Mk A "Whippet" Medium Tank - 1:72 Plastic Model Kit
Offered by Models4hobby
Price: £11.07

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars All tanked up, 19 Oct. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
The Whippet was designed to act as a fast and agile tank to break through enemy lines. The two bus engines gave this 14 ton beast a sprightly 8mph capability. That sounds pretty slow, but it had a 4mph advantage over the more familiar MkI/II Heavy tank.

This is a relatively simple kit comprising a paltry 18 pieces. The tracks, (the bane of the tank modeller's life) are in this kit molded in solid styrene and are already "attached"*. So, this kit really couldn't be simpler to build and it went together in about 30 minutes. The fit is good and there was no need for any sanding or filling. The detail is pretty decent too, with engraved panel lines and raised rivets. These latter are a little large to my inexpert eye, but once the kit is painted they blend into the final finish quite well.

There is a choice of decals - a very simple olive green scheme with either British or German markings.

A rather nice little kit of a less than familiar subject.

Photo link in the comments.

* Pay no attention to the other review which says that the tracks come as separate black rubber. They don't
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 25, 2014 2:16 PM GMT


Airfix 1:72 RAF Benevolent Fund BAE Hawk Gift Model Set
Airfix 1:72 RAF Benevolent Fund BAE Hawk Gift Model Set
Offered by Gaugemaster
Price: £9.95

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Faith, Hawk and Charity, 18 Oct. 2014
Customer review from the Amazon Vine Programme (What's this?)
The BAe Hawk has acted as the RAF's advanced trainer since 1976 and is also flown by the Red Arrows aerobatic team. This box set gives you the opportunity to paint the Hawk in a paint scheme devised in 2013 by the RAF to publicise the Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund. For every kit sold, Airfix have pledged to donate 50p to the RAFBF.

What you get in the rather larger than normal box is an Airfix Hawk T1 kit, a collection of acxrylic paints suitable for the rather psychedelic scheme (red, white and blue, with cream and grey to finish the details), two brushes (nos 0 & 4), a tube of glue and some decals that allow you to complete the plane in the RAFBF scheme. There is a paint scheme sheet and Airfix's quite distinctive instruction leaflet.

The brushes are quite decent quality, the acrylics will always come in handy and the glue will also make a useful addition to the modelling tool box.

The kit itself comes in four grey styrene sprues (and one clear canopy part) and is rated at Airfix's Skill Level 1 (the easiest skill level). The parts are nicely molded with engraved panel lines of intermediate finesse (some of Airfix's kits have panel lines that Luke Skywalker could fly his X-Wing down). The detailing is pretty good all 'round, and the cockpit interior and undercarriage legs are quite decently represented. Fit is good and there shouldn't be much need for filler or sanding. Some aspects of construction will need some skill - the tailerons and dorsal strakes need to be carefully set with a particular angle off the true (dihedral) and the kit will require a little weight added to the nose if it is to sit on it's own undercarriage. Consequently, I think, the Skill Level 1 is a tad optimistic, especially if you consider the intricate paint scheme which will need a steady hand and eye.

I think this is a really nice kit and it will make a very distinctive stand-out piece in any modeller's collection. The charity connection makes it particularly special.

Some photos of the finished kit in the comments below.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 31, 2014 2:51 PM GMT


Airfix 1:72 Scale BBMF Collection Gift Set
Airfix 1:72 Scale BBMF Collection Gift Set
Offered by Tiger Hobbies Limited
Price: £24.49

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My god! It's full of aeroplanes!, 18 Oct. 2014
Customer review from the Amazon Vine Programme (What's this?)
The Battle of Britain Memorial Flight was formed in 1957 and operates a large number of historic aircraft. Amongst these, Lancaster PA474 is it's most iconic member - one of the two surviving airworthy Lancs in existence. Spitfire MkIIa P7350 is an actual Battle of Britain veteran and Spitfire PRXIX PM631 is the flight's longest serving member.

A real bruiser of a kit, this gift set comes in an enormous box and allows you to build the Mk IIa and PRXIX Spitfires and the Lancaster. You may be tempted, as I first was, to consider that a Spitfires is a Spitfire is a Spitfire and two in one box is a bit much... why not a Hurricane? But actually the MkII and PRXIX are two very different looking aircraft - even down to the colour schemes (green and brown camouflage and photo recce blue). Still and all, it would have been nice to have a Hurri instead of, or as well as, the Spifires.

As for the kits themselves, these are Airfix's more recent versions of these aircraft, and beautifully rendered they are too. The Lancaster in particular has a wealth of internal detail on the cockpit, undercarriage and bomb bays and the gun turrets. The external detailing is great too, including Airfix's now familiar engraved panel lines. There are some extremely fine parts to be added (aerials and the like) and, with 108 construction steps and 236 pieces, this is NOT a kit for the beginner. You will also need a fair bit of display space for the Lanc - the model tops out at 432mm in span - not far shy of half a metre.

Although technically complex, the Lanc builds well with little need for filler or advanced techniques. You will need to drill some holes in the fuselage and do some internal paintwork before you close it all up so careful attention to the instructions is essential.

The two Spits are equally nicely manufactured although, being rather smaller, they are also much easier to build.

There is a nice three 'plane display stand and the kit includes all the paints you will need to finish the models (as well as a tube of glue and two rather nice brushes).

This is a lovely kit and it will keep the modeller of the house occupied well past Christmas and into the New Year. The Lanc is definitely NOT for the newbie though and a little experience is essential.

Five sumptuous, glorious and well-earned stars.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 18, 2014 9:09 PM BST


Airfix 1:72 Scale RAFBF Design a Hawk Scheme Gift Set
Airfix 1:72 Scale RAFBF Design a Hawk Scheme Gift Set
Price: £12.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars All you need to build the model and a charity donation as well!, 16 Oct. 2014
Customer review from the Amazon Vine Programme (What's this?)
The BAe Hawk has acted as the RAF's advanced trainer since 1976 and is also flown by the Red Arrows aerobatic team. In 2013 Airfix and the RAF Benevolent Fund held a competition for members of the public to design their own paint scheme for a Hawk aircraft. This box set gives you the opportunity to paint the Hawk in the winning scheme - one that apparently may be adopted by the RAF for one of their aircraft. For every kit sold, Airfix have pledged to donate 50p to the RAFBF.

What you get in the rather larger than normal box is an Airfix Hawk T1 kit, a collection of acxrylic paints suitable for the rather psychedelic scheme (red, blue and black, with cream and grey to finish the details), two brushes (nos 0 & 4), a tube of glue and some decals that allow you to complete the plane in the competition winning scheme or a slightly modified RAF markings version. There is a paint scheme sheet and Airfix's quite distinctive instruction leaflet.

The brushes are quite decent quality, the acrylics will always come in handy and the glue will also make a useful addition to the modelling tool box.

The kit itself comes in four grey styrene sprues (and one clear canopy part) and is rated at Airfix's Skill Level 1 (the easiest skill level). The parts are nicely molded with engraved panel lines of intermediate finesse (some of Airfix's kits have panel lines that Luke Skywalker could fly his X-Wing down). The detailing is pretty good all 'round, and the cockpit interior and undercarriage legs are quite decently represented. Fit is good and there shouldn't be much need for filler or sanding. Some aspects of construction will need some skill - the tailerons and dorsal strakes need to be carefully set with a particular angle off the true (dihedral) and the kit will require a little weight added to the nose if it is to sit on it's own undercarriage. Consequently, I think, the Skill Level 1 is a tad optimistic, especially if you consider the intricate paint scheme which will need a steady hand and eye.

I think this is a really nice kit and it will make a very distinctive stand-out piece in any modeller's collection. The charity connection makes it particularly special, although 50p out of a £13 kit feels a little bit stingy.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 31, 2014 2:52 PM GMT


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