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Reviews Written by
Mr. C. Gelderd "aka GelNerd" (Basingstoke, UK)

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Writing's On The Wall
Writing's On The Wall
Price: £0.99

4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars ...."Along With The Rest Of Him?", 28 Sept. 2015
Lyrically it's interesting, and well crafted. Musically it has echoes of John Barry and you can't beat an orchestral swell. One star each.

Vocally it's typical Sam Smith - mopey, dreary and no power. As for the falsetto? Jesus Christ - not for a James Bond theme at all! Comes over as a strange Barbie-esque theme tune rather than a powerful 007 ballad like we had from Adele. Power, balls and some brass. This lacks all three.

Mobile Case Mate Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini i8190 Case Cover Clear and Purple Raindrop Water drop with Stylus Pen
Mobile Case Mate Samsung Galaxy S3 Mini i8190 Case Cover Clear and Purple Raindrop Water drop with Stylus Pen
Offered by Mobile Case Mate
Price: £3.45

5.0 out of 5 stars Bargain Buy, 21 Sept. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Bargain price, and fits the phone perfectly with a good amount of security to it. Good design too.

SanDisk 16GB SDHC Card
SanDisk 16GB SDHC Card
Price: £5.21

5.0 out of 5 stars Bargain Buy!, 21 Sept. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Does the job for a bargain price.

Self Adhesive Matt Photo Paper, Pictures, Photos
Self Adhesive Matt Photo Paper, Pictures, Photos
Offered by BargainShop_London
Price: £2.19

5.0 out of 5 stars Bargain., 21 Sept. 2015
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Does the job perfectly.

STAR WARS EPISODE 7 : THE FORCE AWAKENS - US Imported Movie Wall Poster Print - 30CM X 43CM Brand New VII
STAR WARS EPISODE 7 : THE FORCE AWAKENS - US Imported Movie Wall Poster Print - 30CM X 43CM Brand New VII

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The Fake Awakens, 21 Sept. 2015
Nice design from a fan, but shouldn't be selling this as a poster for 'The Force Awakens' because it's nothing more than something you could find on a fan forum or make yourself. Not at all official or commissioned by Disney.

Blackadder's Christmas Carol [1988] [DVD]
Blackadder's Christmas Carol [1988] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Rowan Atkinson
Price: £5.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Humbug!, 28 April 2015
A nice 42 minute run-time, aimed straight at the British public who love the ‘Blackadder’ comedy series, and those internationally, who have been won over by the cutting edge, satirical and wonderfully observant comedy.

Rowan Atkinson reverse the tale of Scrooge to start of well-meaning and full of spirit, gradually turning bitter and greedy to become the Blackadder we know and love so well, full of fantastic one-liners, put-downs and insults. Tony Robinson, as loveable and dead-pan as ever is on fine form, just like the series.

With faithful support from the likes of Stephen Fry, Miranda Richardson and Hugh Laurie reprising their roles from the series, along with guest star Robbie Coltrane, this is a perfect festive offering which does the job for a Christmas special.

“Mr Baldrick, I want you to go out and get a turkey so large you’d think it’s mother was rogered by an omnibus!”

Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas [DVD]
Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas [DVD]
Dvd ~ Kelsey Grammer
Offered by Direct-Offers-UK-FBA
Price: £2.00

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding Xmas Disney Fun, 28 April 2015
Featuring the classic hand-drawn animation from Disney Studios, this encapsulates the heart of Disney through their founding characters set around the most wonderful time of the year; Christmas. Couple the sugary-sweet and heart-warming stories with this festive season, and Disney really come into their element.

With brilliant animation, family friendly humour and three simple stories with very clear and meaningful themes, this lasts for only 60mins but never outstays its welcome. Each character is given time to shine in different ways, my favourite being ‘Donald Duck Stuck On Christmas’, playing out like a festive Groundhog Day. Exceptional voice talents bring the loveable characters to life in the usual way of witty scripts and comedic action and chaos.

You can’t really find fault in these seasonal tale unless you’re heartless or just hate Disney in general, but I doubt many can hate something that is presented in the classic way Disney originated from; classic family characters and no CG animation in sight proving that even in 1999, this style of animation adds so much charm to things it’d be a crime to lose it.

Mickey's Twice Upon A Christmas [DVD]
Mickey's Twice Upon A Christmas [DVD]
Dvd ~ Matthew O'Callaghan
Price: £3.06

3.0 out of 5 stars Disney Treats For Xmas, 28 April 2015
Another festive helping of Disney stories including:

‘Belles On Ice’, where Minnie Mouse (Taylor) and Daisy Duck (MacNeille) take part in an ice-skating competition, starting slow and steady but gradually increasing the risk and danger as each try to better the other…

In ‘Christmas: Impossible’, young Huey, Dewey and Louie (Taylor) sneak away from Uncle Scrooge (Young) in Duckburg and head to the North Pole when they are convinced their names are on Santa’s naughty list, and they will do anything to put it right…

‘Christmas Maximus’ re-unites Goofy (Farmer) and Max (Jason Marsden) as he returns home with his girlfriend Mona (Kellie Martin) for Christmas. However Goofy manages to provide his own style of welcome for the two in a series of comical mishaps…

‘Donald’s Gift’ sees Donald Duck (Anselmo) try to have a quiet, peaceful Christmas but becomes increasingly frustrated by the over-bearing community spirit and festivities and tries to avoid everything, especially when his large family arrive for Christmas…

Finally, in ‘Mickey’s Dog-Gone Christmas’, Mickey sends Pluto out of the home when the excited dog causes chaos when decorating the home. Fleeing from home, Pluto finds himself shipped off to the North Pole and becoming part of Santa’s reindeer troupe, as Mickey desperately searches for his best friend…

This time we have a similar brand of heart-warming and well-meaning stories told by Disney across their original line-up of popular characters at Christmas time. Sadly gone is the classic hand-drawn animation first seen in 1999 and now we have CGI animation bringing out characters to life.

While the heart is still there and much of the 1999 foundation still stands, something about the CGI reduces the over-all charm of this seasonal tale. It still is very entertaining and enjoyable, but with 5 stories to fit in over an hour, we are treated to a little less content in each to fit them all in.

But with seasoned veterans providing the iconic voices, along with many singing and dancing routines, this does the job that you’d expect from Disney at Christmas time and is very amusing in places with lots of mad-cap animation and dizzying set-pieces that CG allows more-so than hand-drawn animating.

The Polar Express [2004] [DVD]
The Polar Express [2004] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Tom Hanks
Price: £4.29

4.0 out of 5 stars All Aboard!, 28 April 2015
The first ever fully motion-captured film comes from the imagination of director Robert Zemeckis, adapted from the novel of the same name by Chris Van Allsburg. With such a creative and imaginative director at the helm, it doesn’t surprise you to see this is fantastical journey taken where laws of physics are ignored, and the thrills, danger and excitement is heaped on sequence after sequence where it is obvious in places this has been made to profit the 3D experience on the big screen.

However this doesn’t lessen the enjoyment of top-quality animation and the creepy-realism of the locations, the train itself, the wisps of snow, smoke and ice and the characters themselves. All are all rendered via computer animation to the point they can be 99% real, but it allows the other 1% to be escapist, thrown into danger and fantasy with no real risk to anyone – except maybe young viewers.

It will capture the imagination on first, maybe second viewing, but gradually on repeated watches you come to see that the first 45/50mins or so is basically one long, dangerous train journey. It is also quite scary, un-nerving and perilous for our young heroes – scary hobos appear out of thin air to be in your face with demonic laughs and grins. Scary puppets are present in the rear carriage of the train that seem to have a mind of their own. The train itself is a monstrous beast that thunders towards and over the screen, and also races along the edges of cliff faces, ice lakes and mountain peaks where, if you’re not totally at ease, can be more nerve-wracking for young viewers than intended.

It edges into Tim Burton-esque surrealism with creepy imagery, peril and lots of tense moments that fail to capture a magical train journey to the North Pole but rather a nightmarish and disaster filled ride that easily demonstrates exciting animation but loses that festive spirit in the story. Even segments in the finale at Santa’s Workshop edges us into peril and disaster, offering visual thrills as we race towards a crash or collision but are saved at the last minute. The soundtrack saves the film in places it drags; a thrilling and enjoyable flurry of music that is exciting, rousing and very bombastic with sprinkling of festive charm along the way.

Tom Hanks does a superb job in his various mo-cap and vocal roles to keep your faith present as best he can, but it’s the opening and closing moments of the journey and the finale at the North Pole where he shines brightest – that wry, warm and witty Hanks gives us characters that are likeable and heartfelt, and his range is clearly on show. Our other supporting cast of relatively unknown actors help lend innocence to the children in their discovery of faith, friendship and Christmas cheer, while the mo-cap performances are near perfect in rendition.

So while the journey is itself not as magical as it could have been, the finale offers a few tender moments, much needed calm and a feel-good cheer as we discover what it means to believe in Christmas and Santa Claus; much more than toys and treats, but more about simply believing in all that is good, decent and honest. The message in the closing moments does tug at my heart-strings as it’s a wonderful summary of what Christmas should always be about, and how important it will be to preserve the magic for younger generations to come in a society so close to destroying it with commercialism.

Christmas with the Kranks [DVD] [2004] [2005]
Christmas with the Kranks [DVD] [2004] [2005]
Dvd ~ Tim Allen
Price: £3.00

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Worse Than Dry Turkey, 28 April 2015
Probably one of the few Christmas films that I think is ok every year before watching, but when I actually DO watch it I remember how poor it really is on the surface. It’s got everything you need for a basic, run-of-the-mill madcap seasonal film; the festive community, chaotic shopping sprees, decoration disasters, a picture-perfect happy ending with cranky neighbours and bitter families alongside slapstick chaos…but something about this film is done in a way that is more irritating and drab than others.

Most of the film spends time making you resent the community the Kranks life in, as the basis of the story revolves around how two parents, parted from their grown-up daughter, want to go away on a cruise for Christmas. Sounds nice. BUT we are introduced to cantankerous and creepy, stalker-ish neighbours, headed by a silly and wasted Dan Aykroyd, who spend a good portion of the time bullying, moaning and threatening the Kranks to make them stay around and decorate their home.

Basically, pushing them into something they have no right to participate in. The Kranks are a very irritating couple from the outset – frumpy Jamie Lee Curtis has two good assets in front of her but comes across as very screechy and very unstable. Tim Allen, who increasingly comes over like he is the King of Christmas Comedy (after his ‘Santa Clause Trilogy’), gurns, goofs and over-acts his way through this in a series of un-funny set pieces, dialogue exchanges and slapstick.

With an irritating couple to start with, mixed with a creepy community, this doesn’t give you anything other than maybe a few chuckles as the mad-cap dash to escape Christmas ensues (it’s been done better), and then the finale of the film has it all reversed for a mad-cap dash to build Christmas (it’s been done better).

Very flat supporting characters, and very clichéd (the lazy cops, the grumpy old man, the cheeky children etc) give you something that is very un-memorable and rather un-funny unless you like your Christmas films to come over as very over-acted, very hammy and very tacky – festive films are usually a mix of all three, but there is a charm and heart behind it. This has nothing like that.

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