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Tim (far far away)

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Battleship [DVD] [2012]
Battleship [DVD] [2012]
Dvd ~ Liam Neeson
Price: 4.00

5.0 out of 5 stars WTF was that all about?, 10 Aug 2014
This review is from: Battleship [DVD] [2012] (DVD)
This movie cannot be reviewed positively regarding 'content' or 'dialogue' or any of the usual parameters - because it would fail outright, deservedly. Sheer entertainment is Battleship's single redeeming feature, and this is a "Saturday Night Special" : so reach for your high calorie salty snack, a beverage of your choice alcohol, and let your intellect take a break.


Case4Life Red Shockproof Splashproof External Backup Portable 2.5" Hard Drive Case for Western Digital Elements, My Passport Edge, My Passport for Mac, My Passport Enterprise, My Passport Ultra, My Passport Air, My Passport Studio, My Passport Essential, My Passport 500GB, 1TB, 2TB - Lifetime Warranty
Case4Life Red Shockproof Splashproof External Backup Portable 2.5" Hard Drive Case for Western Digital Elements, My Passport Edge, My Passport for Mac, My Passport Enterprise, My Passport Ultra, My Passport Air, My Passport Studio, My Passport Essential, My Passport 500GB, 1TB, 2TB - Lifetime Warranty
Offered by Gadget Barn
Price: 7.79

3.0 out of 5 stars although the hard drive slops around inside which isn't good. To be honest the 'amazon basics' case is ..., 24 July 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
OK, its RED so harder to lose (important!) but otherwise its ok, although the hard drive slops around inside which isn't good. To be honest the 'amazon basics' case is a better price and a much better fit.


Black Death [DVD] [2010]
Black Death [DVD] [2010]
Dvd ~ Sean Bean
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: 2.73

4.0 out of 5 stars Well that wasn't very nice - was it !, 20 July 2014
This review is from: Black Death [DVD] [2010] (DVD)
Surprising - I expected a B movie with Mr Bean hamming it in usual style (he must be 'the actor' that Directors always turn to for 'gritty historical macho') The reality is actually a pretty good movie. The dialogue is for a change quite fun - and the characters even get a bit of development. That French football geezer is especially good.

Why not the full 5 stars? well - it is a bit derivative. The monk is straight out of the name of the rose, and the witchy women a tad implausible. Unfortunately the director has employed the usual costume makers etc that do the rubbish Saturday afternoon ivanhoe + dragon etc / mock medieval films.

Overall, suitably repulsive.


No Title Available

5.0 out of 5 stars What makes this amazing, is it's the max speed coming in to ..., 17 July 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
Unbelievable - I'm getting 14mbps wirelessly (around 20M from router, up one floor, through two solid brick walls, and the areal has usual clutter of computer peripheral hardware around it such as 2 x large speakers, twin monitors etc). What makes this amazing, is it's the max speed coming in to the router in the first place! so I couldn't get faster .

Couldn't be happier.

PC is running win 7 / 64 prof. So just 'plug'n'play' with the areal & a USB slot - didn't bother with the setup disc.

My pathetic TPlink wireless card / areal combo goes in the bin - useless bit of junk.


The Monuments Men [DVD]
The Monuments Men [DVD]
Dvd ~ Matt Damon
Price: 7.00

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars 7 great stars - earning 'appearance' money, 25 Jun 2014
This review is from: The Monuments Men [DVD] (DVD)
So Hollywood has sanitised war - its either FULL ON CGI with big effects but no blood or acting - or as this film, top line up of actors but again no blood. This is 'how to do a war film' but without any 'war'.

Somewhere there is a blurred message about the value of historical art compared to transient lives - shame this was glossed over and replaced by each 'A' list actor getting their pennyworth in. Usual Hollywood lazy 'all americans are good / all germans are bad / all Brits are stiff-upper-lip / all Russians are bad' Surely even Clooney can see past that cliché?

Quite frankly its a weak film - but watchable. Could have been so much better if the director had a clear idea of what he actually wanted to achieve, which given such a cast of big names should have been easily achievable. I get the impression that the actors were coasting and not really that bothered, they just trotted out the character from their last films.

Cate Blanchett is a big name surely? but she is not even on the cover! - she really hammed it up.

Cloony's part was dismal - might as well have done a cameo.

Truly a weak, lazy excuse of a film. Potentially great, superb cast, totally misused by a rubbish director.


Edge of Tomorrow [Blu-ray + UV Copy] [2014] [Region Free]
Edge of Tomorrow [Blu-ray + UV Copy] [2014] [Region Free]
Dvd ~ Tom Cruise
Price: 13.00

8 of 62 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Big clue: the Aliens are called 'Mimics', 16 Jun 2014
The beach scene is lifted from 'saving private ryan'

The repeated history idea is copied from 'groundhog day'

Aliens controlled from Central 'hive' is an idea stolen from 'starship troopers'

Drill sergeant calls recruits 'maggots' and is SO MEAN to them! happens in dozens of Hollywood movies (but strangely not in real life - this is forbidden in the US military) Let's chose 'Platoon' as a source.

Mostly set in London, just like the last Bond film 'skyfall' - I wonder if they used the same computer model?

Tom Cruise - doing the same toothpaste advert character he's always done (how about 'war of the worlds'. With a blond totty co-star who cant act.

Lots and lots and lots of overdone CGI (from transformers of course) - so unfortunately the human acting is overshadowed and weak.

Aliens are called 'mimics' but resemble bits of a swiss army penknife. They move so fast that the computer modelling has no detail! that must save a lot of cost.

What do you get: A mishmash of the best bits cut'n'pasted from previous blockbusters. Golly gosh - that should result in a mega experiencer movie (cue: sound of cash till). Go watch it, the movie version of a pot noodle, all flavour enhancer but nothing memorable and you feel empty afterwards.
Comment Comments (8) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 15, 2014 1:37 PM BST


XMI X-Mini Max Duo Portable Mini Speakers for iPhone/iPad/iPod/MP3 Player/Laptop - Orange
XMI X-Mini Max Duo Portable Mini Speakers for iPhone/iPad/iPod/MP3 Player/Laptop - Orange
Price: 32.89

1.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing - sounds like a box of matches., 24 May 2014
I wanted a pair of travel speakers for my laptop : without the hassle of Bluetooth just a single cable, separate speakers for reasonable soundstage stereo, had to be 'travel durable', ideally look 'designer' - and these puppies fitted the bill.

Dropped a star 'cos they hum ever so slightly if the USB power lead is plugged in at the same time as the audio jack. Dropped two more stars because although the sound is much better than my in-laptop speakers, it doesn't in anyway compare to decent headphones or larger speakers. Not exactly tinny but definitely 'cardboard' lacking oomph & with a rather nasty sibilance.

Great for movies, but makes a huge difference what sort of music you listen to - vocals are excellent, but mid to low range is rubbish. Any bass-line is like someone tapping a box of matches! And this inconsistency makes music listening pretty awful.

Lost another star because they claim "Bass Xpansion System (BXS) mimics the effects of a sub-woofer for deeper fuller bass in a tiny capsule" which is a downright lie - should be done under the trade descriptions act.

To be honest I wish I had tried out a few others before buying - these are not that good.


Vurt
Vurt
by Jeff Noon
Edition: Paperback
Price: 6.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Drivel. Binned it after reading half way, 2 May 2014
This review is from: Vurt (Paperback)
Rare to find a book that so disappoints.

Standard yarn you've read a 100 times before: Boy on quest to rescue girl, meets companions on the way, has adventures and fights monsters both real and imagined. To add insult, Cyberpunk is an emerging market with few established authors - so no excuses for lack of originality but Noon fails.

Noon's version lacks anything special - none of Michael Moorcock's weirdness, certainly none of Iian Banks creative and literary class, Wiliam Gibson does 'what if' much better. As for Noon's idea of 'street talk' - well it's contrived telly-tubby language and he's no more street than I am. What you are left with is slightly repellent and deviant for the sake of it, without being that engaging. Bit like watching telly after midnight when you cant be bothered to go to sleep.

What really pisses me off is there are 28 pages of padding at the front of the book before the story actually starts! I didn't pay 9.00 for blank pages and to read 'introduction' reviews of the book I've just bought. Bin material.

INSTEAD: Read 'The wasp factory' (now that IS deviance done well) 'Mona Lisa Overdrive' 'Diamond dogs turquoise days' 'Time of the Hawklords' or even 'Alice through the looking glass'(although Noon has now ripped that off as well)


Vurt
Vurt
by Jeff Noon
Edition: Hardcover
Price: 13.99

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I couldnt be bothered to read more than half - its that bad., 2 May 2014
This review is from: Vurt (Hardcover)
Standard yarn you've read a 100 times before: Boy on quest to rescue girl, meets companions on the way, has adventures and fights monsters both real and imagined. Cyberpunk Genre so an emerging market with few established authors - no excuse then for not coming up with something original.

But Noon's version lacks anything special - none of Michael Moorcock's weirdness, certainly none of Iian Banks class, Wiliam Gibson does 'what if' much better. As for Noon's idea of 'street talk' - well he's no more street than I am. What you are left with is slightly repellent and deviant without being that engaging. Bit like watching telly after midnight when you cant be bothered to go to sleep.

What really pisses me off is there are 28 sides of page at the start of the book before the story actually starts! I didn't pay 9.00 for blank pages and to read 'introduction' reviews of the book I've just bought.

Bin material.


Stalker [DVD]
Stalker [DVD]
Dvd ~ Anatoli Solonitsyn

0 of 9 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars No - its bollox, 28 Mar 2014
This review is from: Stalker [DVD] (DVD)
Arty noire films are so exciting, and the more foreign the better. Except in this case, it's not. Truly navel gazing, plodding, cheap, crap - but beautifully filmed of course. And to think that 'Threads' was made around the same time.

Odd thing is the book is quite good!


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