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Spazmo (UK)

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The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [DVD] [2013]
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug [DVD] [2013]
Dvd ~ Martin Freeman
Price: £6.99

8 of 16 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Oh dear..., 10 Jun. 2014
I guess I loved the LotR movies because I hadn't read the books. At the time I got annoyed by this small group of purists who kept condemmning it. Little did I know - or so it appears - what Iwas talking about.
I did read The Hobbit in my early teens though during a winter holiday in the middle of a snowy nowhere and adored it, every single page of it. Its dry humour, (then felt) the grand, slow narration to the benefit of imaginative settings and characters, how the story unfolded, particularly the (also then felt) terror caused by the goblins. I have read it a few times since and it has lost nothing of its touch. Therefore, I was very keen to watch the movie.
And just how bad it was… Nothing of Tolkien's language, dialogue or drama. Instead: never(!!)ending CGI toss accompanied by stupid attempts at humour by resuscitating Charlie Chaplin to play Bilbo featuring dialogue which is as predictable as the jokes. And they are not funny. (Bilbo really did look at the camera befor falling down unconscious in An Unexpected Journey, didn’t he?)
And who, I wonder, suggested reissueing the book with a picture from the film when there are beautifully rendered previous editons? Who? I obviously don’t know, but everybody knows the answer to Why?. Having seen Pan's Labyrinth is the very reason one shouldn't begin to wonder what might have been.
What's left of the story for part 3 is the village scene and the battle. For this the world can rely on PJ to deliver the biggest CGI orgy ever to have graced the silver screen. By the time this happens I will make sure to have given the first two parts away pretending it all never happened.


Beaster [Deluxe Edition]
Beaster [Deluxe Edition]
Offered by Fulfillment Express
Price: £9.72

5.0 out of 5 stars When you can't make much sense of the s*** that's in your head..., 9 Jan. 2014
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I can't add anything substantial to the subject particularly not on an intellectual level but I would say that next time your head is full of s*** and you can't make any sense of it instead of taking up arms put on Beaster. The s*** will mostly likely still be there if you check again later but it will have been blasted well in its place.


After.Life [DVD] [2009]
After.Life [DVD] [2009]
Dvd ~ Liam Neeson
Price: £3.25

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars What was that about?, 17 July 2013
This review is from: After.Life [DVD] [2009] (DVD)
Thank God I got this out at the local library and didn't buy it. My backside has more depth of character, music and sound effects suggest something the pictures/plot don't deliver (I think the composer got delirious with boredom, fell asleep and his head hit the keyboard), the story line... err.. not sure there was one but plot holes enough to fill Neeson's character's house. Ricci finally, finally (!!) gets to a phone after stomping around the house trying to "hide" (and knocking over half the house's content in the process) and dials... no, not 911 but her drunken boyfriend's mobile. Why? Well I guess she couldn't rememeber the number of the emegency services and quickly called him to ask. Unfortunately this movie is not scary, spooky, not even mysterious or at least stylish. It's .....dunno really. I don't think my pulse changed once while watching it. Oh no, wait, it did. I got irritated.


Sex Traffic [2006] [DVD]
Sex Traffic [2006] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Wendy Crewson
Price: £5.50

5.0 out of 5 stars Not much to add, 15 July 2013
This review is from: Sex Traffic [2006] [DVD] (DVD)
Contains a bit of a spoiler

Living outside the UK I didn't see it on telly and got it out at a local library on the strentgh of its production credits. After it had been lying around for a few days I started watching it on a Sunday night at 11 thinking 'here we go another hour then off to bed and finish it tomorrow'. That didn't work because the film doesn't slow down a single minute. There aren't 180 minutes of non-stop torment but the story lines that run parralel keep you wanting to know how they all link in the end and I kept fearing for a very late bad turn of events. The performances, picture and music (!) are all brilliant and it grips you pretty hard at times especially when it starts involving the kids of the women. Although I consider films like 'Irreversible' to be much more brutal in parts this film was more difficult to watch.


Irreversible [DVD] [2003]
Irreversible [DVD] [2003]
Dvd ~ Monica Bellucci
Offered by EU ELECTRIC
Price: £14.98

2 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars ...and the point is?, 30 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Irreversible [DVD] [2003] (DVD)
I doubt I have a lot to add to what has been said before but since it has been quite an experience I'll do it anyway.
The subject of the movie aside what struck me most was how well the components worked together, i.e. camera, music, acting, structure etc. I'm no art film buff but looking back I remember this to be my strongest impression. Although violent to the core it didn't feel sensationalistic or voyeuristic. I guess it was very much like real life situations people fall prey to and that they have to deal with afterwards, which thank God I and everybody close to me have been spared. The impact watching this movie was deep and as it has been said before the two scenes were unbearable and made me want to walk away. The question that remained in my head though, despite all truthfulness, sincerity, realism etc. was about the purpose of the movie. Surely not to simply portrait life because you have these news on your mobile phone app at 7:30 in the morning on your way to work. The same goes for a critical stance. The artistry of its production? I wouldn't be too sure because then a different subject could have done the trick without weakening the impact. I don't have an answer and I do think it's worth watching but at the same time I couldn't say why.


Righteous Kill [DVD]
Righteous Kill [DVD]
Dvd ~ Robert De Niro
Offered by Jasuli
Price: £3.15

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Overall disappointing, 26 Sept. 2011
This review is from: Righteous Kill [DVD] (DVD)
Having watched a trailer and being a big fan of Heat I expected Pacino and de Niro sharing (almost) 100% screen time to be a treat. As it has been said before the story becomes pretty predictable very early on, the characters' interactions are never surprising, twists aren't really twists and de-Niro-or-not, after the 10th m-f***er the swearing simply gets dull. The younger actors are either overwhelmed or not particularly good. This is one to get when everything else has been rented. Lukewarm.


A Monster Calls
A Monster Calls
by Patrick Ness
Edition: Paperback

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars No tear jerker yet in tears you may well be, 4 Sept. 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: A Monster Calls (Paperback)
A very moving and completely un-sentimental book. I'd never heard of either of the writers but very craftily executed (I'm no expert but still...) with a big plus being that the writer doesn't moralize or pretend he can explain the situation. To an extent the book merely describes with great sensitivity what the boy is going through and how he responses to the pressure he's experiencing in these gravest of circumstances. Utterly believable throughout and at no point compromised by over-emotional wallowing.


Live Killers
Live Killers

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Their finest hour, 28 Nov. 2006
This review is from: Live Killers (Audio CD)
Went to see 'We Will Rock You' in the cinema, got 'Live Killers' a few days later and didn't listen to much else for about a year or two. The energy, humour and the anthems make this one of the finest live albums ever (sounds naff I know) and once you're in there, you're somewhere else. The balance of showmanship, pomp and full throttle is perfect and if you know some of Queen's early 70's live recordings then you can tell their roots. Mercury's vocal performance and showmanship is phenomenal, May's wall of sound monumental (arrgh...sorry, but it just is) and Taylor's drumming marks him the epitome of rock'n roll drumming. Doesn't leave a lot to say about John but he's got the initials. They should have called it a day then, because they never got close to such class again. Such a must-buy it redefines the term.


Power Windows
Power Windows

14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Rush's finest, 20 Sept. 2006
This review is from: Power Windows (Audio CD)
This was the first Rush album I listened to and despite loads of other songs I like spread across several albums this is my favourite. Here they found a perfect balance between great lyrics and great song writing and the arrangements are not as full on as in earlier recordings yet still have maximum impact. Always sublime to put the vinyl on and after the crackling wait for the opening of the first track.


Sky Captain & World Of Tomorrow [DVD]
Sky Captain & World Of Tomorrow [DVD]
Dvd ~ Gwyneth Paltrow
Offered by UclickWeDeliver
Price: £1.29

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Plain great fun, 29 Jun. 2006
Consider me whatever among smart bottoms looking for plot, character development etc, but I enjoyed every minute. Neither Law nor Paltrow were miscast and finding out who plays the "Totenkopf" in the end is a nice surprise, too. I expected a humerous and superb looking retro adventure movie, reminiscent of Saturday afternoon entertainment, and that's what I got down to a T.


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