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Reviews Written by
JJB "Sloop Jon B" (UK)

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Alba 32" LCD32ADVD HD Ready Digital LCD TV/DVD Combi
Alba 32" LCD32ADVD HD Ready Digital LCD TV/DVD Combi

1.0 out of 5 stars Very poor, 12 Jun. 2016
Dreadful DVD player, very noisy. Poor sound and useless menus. Clumsy and cheap.

Love Life
Love Life

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Booth delivers an absolute winner, 18 April 2011
This review is from: Love Life (Audio CD)
Tim Booth's solo albums are fantastic, better than some James albums actually. Anyone serious about music will listen to a CD twice before passing judgement. 2 listens & I'm hooked. There is no substitute for a good tune and there are 9 belters on here and 2 fairly decent fillers - a much higher ratio than "The Night Before" for example. As a lifelong James fan I am well used to the feeling two-thirds of the way into a CD that things aren't quite catching fire, but this is different. The songs are well crafted, clever, varied and ultimately rewarding. On Track 3 "Harbour" I even catch a whiff of a little known James gem called "Wisdom of the Throat" - an added bonus.

Love it.

2012 [DVD] [2010]
2012 [DVD] [2010]
Dvd ~ John Cusack
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £2.78

15 of 22 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Insults the viewer, 13 April 2010
This review is from: 2012 [DVD] [2010] (DVD)
I would like to hit back at all the reviews here that criticise people who hated this disastrous, sorry - disaster, film. Quite simply; normal rules do not apply to 2012. As an audience, we do have the right to be stimulated! Despite what you say, disaster movies do not have carte blanche to be all style and no substance - I demand more.

And so to the review...

Take one massive budget, some idiot with CGI software who's never had a girlfriend, various assorted comedy cliché accents, add some half decent actors and bake under a warm lamp for 3 minutes. That's how they made this film... Only then did the director realise that no one had remembered to add the key ingredient - a plot. The studio conversation then went something like this; "I know, the film will look so amazing, no bugger will care about the plot, let's just sprinkle some mumbo-jumbo about Mayan legends on the whole detritus and the hell with it!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...2012.

This horrific mess does not even count as a popcorn movie or mindless entertainment because quite simply, it is boring. Dull, dull, dull... It should be called "Run (or drive or fly) for your life, the pavement (or road or runway) has got a crack in it."

Anyone of moderate intelligence will be bored and insulted after the first 15 minutes. Fast forward nearly 3 hours of very repetitive CGI, stolen plotlines galore, cardboard cut out characters and inane tree-hugging Tibetan subtitles about welding and film barely limps like a wounded animal to an instantly forgettable and unimaginative conclusion.

The way to avoid extreme nausea and frustration is to watch 2012 with a friend and have a competition who can spot the most bits ripped from other films and books. Be sure to bring plenty of paper and a spare pen. What annoys me most is the way the powers that be think they can get away with this garbage. It is so shoddy, they have tried to plaster over the many cracks with the same dull CGI scenes in the false hope that we will be appeased with this.

To those about to buy or rent 2012, I leave you with my thoughts last week. "Mm, Sunday night, great, bit of easy disaster film viewing to end the weekend, I quite enjoyed 'The Day After Tomorrow', 'Armageddon' also has it's moments (apart from the appalling music...), 2012 will be just the ticket..." Oh how I was wrong.

Dear reader, don't believe the hype, this film is without redemption; devoid of any charm, tedious beyond words and sickeningly unintelligent.

Green Street 2 [DVD]
Green Street 2 [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ross McCall
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £3.34

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Never watch this film!, 16 Feb. 2010
This review is from: Green Street 2 [DVD] (DVD)
Curiosity eventually got the better of me and despite some dire reviews I dug in for this one having enjoyed Green Street immensely. If you follow only 1 piece of advice this year, make it this (you don't even need to thank me as I see this as a public service); Do not waste your time, do not even think about wasting your time, with this undernourished, battery farmed turkey of a film. It literally has no redeeming features and may even spoil your enjoyment of the original just by association. I have warned you, you will never get the time back you spend watching this utter garbage. Charmless, devoid of plot (scriptwriters give up after 40 minutes by the way, it goes into freefall), stupid beyond belief and utterly one dimensional - this might be even being doing it some justice. How anyone can award any stars is beyond me.

No Title Available

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Intelligent, moving and warm, 28 April 2009
So strong and powerful is the pull of this film that at times you almost forget you are watching a vampire film. The film's central theme is the nature of friendship, in this case the love that grows between the 2 leads - the frozen North's ultimate odd couple.

This film is a remarkable piece of work and the performances by the 2 young actors is a pleasure to watch. Another strong endorsement is the way that many of the most unsettling moments do not involve monsters but come instead from the bizarre and eerie collection of sadistic bullies, revolting psycho-pederasts and social inadequates who populate Nowhere-ville in early 80s Stockholm - truly the dark side of the 80s. The strong support cast ensures that not a single line or scene is wasted throughout.

A modern classic - touching, chilling and beautiful.

Into the Wild [DVD] [2007]
Into the Wild [DVD] [2007]
Dvd ~ Emile Hirsch
Offered by DVD Overstocks
Price: £3.75

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mesmerizing & beguiling, 13 April 2009
This review is from: Into the Wild [DVD] [2007] (DVD)
I watched this film for the first time last month and have been unable to forget about it ever since. It is an incredibly sensitive and understated piece of film making and the lead performances are flawless.

The premise is quite average and the temptation is to rule it out as just a dull story about a pretentious student "looking for himself". The reality however, couldn't be further from this. The protagonist is 100% convincing and engaging and there is not a dull moment. By turns the film is hypnotic, moving and incredibly warm.

The soundtrack also needs to be acquired; it is quite simply one of the best albums I have ever heard - albeit in the context of the film.

A must see film, loved it.

The Mist [DVD]
The Mist [DVD]
Dvd ~ Thomas Jane
Offered by skyvo-direct
Price: £5.49

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Lord of the Flies at Tescos, 2 Jan. 2009
This review is from: The Mist [DVD] (DVD)
Sounds like a B-Movie by the numbers on paper doesn't it? But there is far more to this tour-de-force psycho-gore fest. The real monsters are of course the humans and the steady deterioration of brotherly love packs one hell of a punch and is genuinely unnerving in places. This said, the monsters themselves by no means play 2nd fiddle despite the disconcerting premise of flying bugs and tentacles crawling across supermarket forecourts.

I urge you to watch this film; I was captivated from the first second. Even the minor characters add depth and credibility to the surging wave of hate and barbaric mob bandwagonism that strangles the unfortunate group of shoppers buying one and getting one free at the store.

A brilliant portrayal of fear with an ending that doesn't give you a free pass for watching some of the earlier scenes.

The Nines [DVD]
The Nines [DVD]
Dvd ~ Ryan Reynolds
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £4.58

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Subtle and intriguing, 8 Nov. 2008
This review is from: The Nines [DVD] (DVD)
Didn't have this one pegged as a Friday night wind-down film but I really enjoyed it. No need to recap the plot, it's just simpler if I enclose an easy "is it for you guide?":

1. Did you enjoy Donnie Darko, Memento and other non-linear films? Then you should be OK with this.
2. Do you enjoy picking the bones out of unusual plotlines where you are presented with alternate realities? If so, go ahead.

This is a very subtle, understated metaphysical gem. Like the aforementioned films, I am unlikely to ever watch it again, but that's just the nature of this sub-genre and not a criticism that the film is lacking in any way. I think it's a bit of an overstatement to say this movie will blow you away but there is no doubt that it is unique. The acting is spot on - totally credible and engaging. The dialogue is crisp and drives the film along nicely. The soundtrack is also excellent and completes the whole package of this relatively unknown treat.

Map of Bones (SIGMA FORCE)
Map of Bones (SIGMA FORCE)
by James Rollins
Edition: Paperback

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars It's a book, first word, sounds like "map"..., 17 Aug. 2008
Oh my word. Picked this up for my holiday read hoping for something entertaining and smart. I should have taken Jordan's autobiography instead. What is this garbage? Overplayed, overstated, far fetched to the point of insanity, convoluted, dull, twaddle, pretentious, arch, pompous, ambiguous, tacky, gauche etc etc... Avoid at all costs. The author has taken about 400 historical themes and combined them into one steaming pile of guff which collapses on page 10 under the weight of its own ineptitude. Even if this is "tongue in cheek, so bad it's good, airport trash", it still doesn't work. Intelligent writing RIP.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 19, 2009 3:11 PM BST

Hey Ma
Hey Ma
Price: £4.99

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Typical James: slightly flawed magnificence., 8 April 2008
This review is from: Hey Ma (Audio CD)
This is a very good album and I believe I am well qualified to speak on the subject.

Here are the facts. James are a great band. This album contains 7 wonderful songs and 4 unmemorable fillers.

We have been here before though, over the past 20 years I have awaited many James albums with baited breath and so I know what to expect. James are prone to watering down their albums with some genuinely uninspiring self-indulgent tunes. On Hey Ma, they all appear together in the middle. "Oh My Heart" & "Semaphore" would shame a B-sides compilation by The Feeling and are total deadweight. "Boom Boom" is actually James at their worst as they manage to create the horrendous hell that sounds like Coldplay meets The Smiths. Apparently these tracks were chosen from over 120 others...The mind boggles. Anyway, forget all that, there are 7 gems on this album which help you forgive the cardinal sin of mid-CD mediocrity. "Waterfall" is going to become a James live classic akin to "Sometimes", "White Boy" is a multi-layered mental fusion with some choice lyrics, Tim in self-deprecating mood is a good balance to some of the heavier semi-pretentious lyrics of "Upside Down". Tucked away at the end of the album is the token epic James slowy "Of Monsters, Heroes and Men". Like "Out to Get You", it is instantly addictive and should come over well in a live venue.

So how will this album be remembered? Well, it is a top class James album. Despite its weaknesses, it still makes so many of today's British guitar-based bands look like the paper-thin inadequate pretenders that they are. Nice job, don't forget that after seeing them live this weekend I will of course change my opinion about the middle 4 tracks.

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